Coil's Sniper Monkey

Punching myself for not including Ratcatcher in the hottest Ward Woman poll. She easily tops all these other losers

Me (God's drunkest soldier) being pulled over by a police officer (agent of the demiurge): Oh god, oh god, what do I do.

Bonesaw Tulpa in the backseat: if you cut out his eyes he can't see you committing any crimes :)

Anthropomorphic handgun in my glove compartment: Pull me out, little missy, and we can deal with this Debby downer together.

Amy dallon fumo on the dashboard: KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF

Sometimes when I'm playing Monster Hunter I think... what if I am the Monster?

Reblog if think trans people are neato

Nothing worse than going to take a drink from a bottle only to realize you haven't taken the lid off yet like god damn I'm not that down bad for water

"what do we say to women?"

"I'm sorry I made a big booby ballerina robot in your image because I missed you sssooososo bad."

ruler of everything scion jack slash has to be possible. we need to get our scientists working on ruler of everything scion jack slash

Here's my probably incorrect assumptions about what social media sites the undersiders would use if it was 2023 instead of 2011 or something

Taylor: Tumblr. Will post really sad, in depth posts talking about her experience with bullying and her family and how alone she feels sometimes and then reblog a bunch of bug photos (like, at least 20 in a row) and then go dormant for like 2 months and then repeat the cycle when she finally regains the energy to post

Alec: reddit, twitter. Reddit but only so he and Aisha can post like really outlandish obvious troll posts in aita and legaladvice, tumblr so he can stare at princecore aesthetic moodboards and nod approvingly (he will only like it but never reblog, his blog is like a barren wasteland)

Aisha: tumblr, twitter. All fucking over the scene kid aesthetic. Reblogs and retweets Kandi making tutorials and sparkledog ocs and 2008 geocities blinkies or something. Everyone always sends her asks and makes vague posts about forgetting they have her as a mutual

Brian: reddit, twitter. Retweets exercise advice and goes on a fuckton of exercise subreddits but also frequents parenting subs and asks questions on how to properly deal with whatever Aisha has done this week and everyone who comments thinks he is actually a dad and not just the world's most emotionally repressed 17 going on 45 yr old boy. Gets into arguments with obvious trolls all the time on both sites and gets really needlessly upset and personal over it. The person who argues with him most on Twitter is actually Aisha on an alt account (she knows it's him and is doing this for the bit, he does not know it's her)

Rachel: can't read or write v well :( but if she could it'd be tumblr maybe? Or twitter? Unsure. All I know is that her account would be filled with really blurry photos of her dogs with no captions or tags or anything with the occasional all caps really angry rant post about people petting her dogs without permission. The people that follow her are mostly there to study her like they're a scientist and she's an interesting discovery they've found under their microscope. They also all assume she's like 60 and not like 15

Lisa: twitter, reddit. Have few thoughts on her but if she were to get into arguments she would use "sweetie" "honey" and ":)" condescendingly to whoever she's arguing with. This isn't Lisa hate btw i just think she truly is That Person

i am being intensely psychologically tortured right now

arc 3: victoria its not ur turn being protagonist go home