Kind-404 - No Savvy

A list of things kevin does for neil post-evermore

Wakes up on the raven schedule with him so when he waits in his dorm he isn't alone and kevin can help him figure out the time

Casually reminds neil of the time, so he knows he isnt losing time anymore

Let's neil be extra harsh on him in team practice when hes cleared play, cause none of the others would understand raven playing.

Helps ease neil back into non-nest food (I hc they had ridiculously strict diets there)

Mindlessly shares clothes & food with Neil because ravens share everything

Helps him take care of that tattoo - ensure it wouldn't get infected

Right after Neil gets back from evermore he finds himself looking over his shoulder for jean everywhere he goes and his vaguely anxious when he finds no one there. Without out saying anything kevin falls in to place right behind neil on his left side right behind him. Close enough that if neil leans back he can feels Kevin's chest and not for the first time since evermore he is grateful.

About how Kerejeandreils cope with their traumas

Jean often has nightmares on his bad days. When the boundaries of anxiety grow to an exorbitant size, he go to Jeremy.

Neil's triggers can be triggered by any little thing (words; sudden movements). Of course, he won't admit that he's not okay, but Andrew doesn't need to say anything. He himself will take Neil away from everyone, where they will smoke in silence.

Kev may not eat for weeks and lock himself in a room, but that doesn't mean the guys won't find a way to get to him. Their sunny boy just picks the lock, but no one comes in until Kevin himself lets them in.

That's how they find out that Jeremy didn't have a sweet life either. And even if his teenage riots and escapes from home are not the nightmare that the guys had to go through, his problem are not devalued.

Andrew never talks about his bad days. He is a defender, and it behooves him to be strong and not show weakness. This delusion, which he has convinced himself of, doesn't suit Knox, so Minyard can no longer ignore his condition.

Jean asks Andrew to teach him how to fight with knives. This is far from the best way to deal with trauma to rape, but Minyard agrees to help with the only condition: Jean will sign up for a session with Bee. If necessary, they will go to it together.

Neil's "I'm fine" eventually loses weight completely in their company. Everyone understands that this is utter nonsense.

One day, after a grueling interview, Kevin just finds Jeremy and lies with him in silence for several hours. He was tired. It infuriates him how journalists try to get into his personal life. He feels bad. But next to Jer, everything gets a little better.

Evenings Andrew barricades himself in the kitchen, devoting himself to cooking. Maybe it's stupid, but that's how he calms the demons in his head.

Neil, stepping over his fears, takes Jean by the hand, and runs his palm over his scars. He doesn't avoid touching, unlike Andrew, but this is also an important step forward. Especially after what happened in the Nest.

They're not fine, but it's okay. They overcome their demons together.

I’ve decided that once Kevin gets comfortable with casual affection, he becomes a kisser. He kisses everyone. Cheeks, foreheads, tops of heads (lots of this because everyone is so short). Goodbye kisses, greeting kisses, excited kisses. He likes the softness and intimate nature of the act. Likes that he can have this kind of affection with people, and it stays entirely innocent. The only person who doesn’t get kisses is Andrew, and he is bitter about it, but only Neil knows. Kevin’s never wanted to ask because he didn't want to make Andrew feel uncomfortable but also because he didn’t want to face that kind of rejection. He doesn’t have to, though, because one day after Kevin’s given Neil a quick peck on the top of his head, which Neil hardly even notices anymore, Andrew places himself in front of Kevin expectantly and glares. Kevin freezes, thinking Andrew is no longer okay with Kevin kissing his boyfriend, but when Kevin looks at Neil, he just pats his head and gives a quick thumbs up. Mimes out, “Yes or no?” Kevin asks, “Andrew, can I kiss your head?” To which Andrew replies, like an adult, “I don’t know, can you?” Kevin rolls his eyes and asks again, “Yes or no, asshole” Andrew nods in the affirmative and so Kevin leans down and softly kisses the top of Andrew’s head. When he pulls away, he watches Andrew for any signs that he’s messed it up but is met with Andrew’s blank, unaffected face. “Boring,” Andrew finally says, and it almost stops Kevin’s heart because there it is, the rejection he fears. Only Andrew steps closer and grabs the front of Kevin’s shirt. “Kiss me for real.” Neil nods encouragingly behind Andrew with both thumbs up, so Kevin does what he’s told. Now, Kevin still gives kisses. Cheeks and foreheads and tops of heads but also lips, and necks and shoulders too.

Neil & Jean

I finished aftg this week and I'm not ok, so I present aftermath Kevin Day but with hair grown out??

My thoughts behind the drawing under more ❗️spoilers for King's Men (last book)❗️

Kevin after Riko's death. Kevin attending the private funeral despite every horrible thing as a last goodbye, maybe out of spite, maybe to reassure himself the king is dead, maybe out of actual grief, either way he arrives, paying his respects ...

some rambling about Kevin from Andrew’s pov -

Kevin’s first addiction was other people. He was hooked long before he ever tasted the burn of liquor. To be alone was to slip into a sudden feverish withdrawal, hands splayed out and grasping for another hit. He detested other people, yet crawled after the mirage of connection like a dying man to water, finding refuge in the shade of another. Andrew blamed Kayleigh for the pathetic habit - 9 years of that pure high from unconditional love only to leave Kevin hooked on the cheap stuff, a pale imitation cut with a violence that was slowly killing him.

Andrew wishes he could go back in time and press the thin tip of his blade up into the soft spot right between Kayleigh’s ribs and make it known that Kevin would never end up in the Nest. Exy be damned. But Andrew can’t, so he’s stuck dealing with the fall out of Kevin’s addiction, forever forced to pacify shaking hands with platitudes of protection. (And he wouldn’t lie to himself and say that there wasn’t a safety in knowing Kevin couldn’t leave). Because what was their deal if not the impossibility that Kevin would stop needing him wagered against the certainty that Andrew would never want anything enough to make him go - both of them satisfied with terms that could never be fulfilled. Andrew had been flinching desperately, trying to catch his own shadow moving without him, but safe in the knowledge that it never would. In the end, Kevin was the one who left. Or maybe Andrew told him to go. It was hard to keep track.

But yeah Andrew is the softer one in the relationship:

- This is a part of him he thinks must be in new bloom. The world says rough, the world says weapon, the world says joyless and so there must be some truth to it, right? Yet he finds himself wanting to cradle Neil’s hands to his chest when he needs steadying from a nightmare, have Neil’s bare wrist pressed flush against his ribs so that he can feel their pulses thrumming against one another. And he can’t sleep at night until he’s ran slow, deliberate fingers through Neil’s soft hair, every comb-through an indulgence, fingers massaging Neil’s delicate scalp, learning the structure, the very shape of it. He wants to press his lips to every scab, every contusion, everywhere Neil tore himself apart in hopes of survival. He wants to alleviate and cradle and absorb.  - Neil often ends up kicking his own blankets off of himself at night, and in the winters it drives Andrew absolutely crazy, so he’ll wake up a couple of times in the middle of the night just to fix Neil’s blanket and pull the covers back up over his shoulders to keep him from shivering too much, right before closing his arms down over Neil’s middle like a brace like a ring of fire. - Andrew likes to tease Neil about being clingy, but there are times when it’s difficult to say if there’s something wrong with his system or if being separated from Neil for longer than a few hours at a time has him emptied and aching in more ways than one. One particular evening at Sweetie’s, while watching Neil, Nicky and Kevin engage in some idle conversation he doesn’t remotely care to pay attention to, Andrew subtly tilts his cone in Neil’s direction. Neil regards it a moment before gladly accepting the soft serve and taking a small bite out of it. They share the rest of the cone together. Nicky attempts to tease them about it at one point, but stops mid sentence when he catches Andrew’s murder-glare from his periphery and changes topic. Andrew will never admit it, but once it becomes a quiet, shared ritual; he likes getting a little ice cream on his nose on purpose so that Neil has the urge to kiss it off. Slowly it becomes ok, even in  public. - There are nights when Andrew lets Neil wrap his arms around his stomach and pull him close, his chin on his shoulder, Andrew’s back digging into Neil’s chest. Andrew sleeps better when he can feel Neil’s heart beating against his spine. It leaves him strangely warm and punch-drunk.  - Sometimes in the midst of exploring, Andrew will take Neil’s hands and press them to his own diaphragm over his t-shirt so that Andrew’s breaths can do the speaking for the wordless, happy hum that he’s feeling. He likes Neil’s palm resting there, at the centre of him. - Andrew anchors his fingers in the back collar of Neil’s sweatshirt whenever he feels Neil tense by his side. As soon as Neil’s on edge, all it takes is for Andrew to hook his fingers and give a light tug on his clothes to reground him. Other times he’ll bunch his hand in the hem of Neil’s t-shirt and twist or press a steering hand around the back of his neck, but never to control. Always to guide. Neil will never not be amazed by the impact the slightest contact with Andrew can make on his nervous system. - Andrew strives to smoothen out his hard edges, catches tail ends of hushed conversations where the Foxes relay mutual shock at noticing the incurvated places where Andrew lets himself cave in, allowing himself to be vulnerable, allowing himself to be worshipped. The devotion and unrepentant trust that builds a monolith within him when Neil fiercely defends him. “I don’t need your useless concern,” he’ll mutter. “Too bad because you’ve got it,” Neil will usually reply. “They have to stop preying on you at every given chance. You’re not a monster to me. You shouldn’t be a monster to anyone. If they fail to understand that, they’ll be sorry.” Andrew’s tone is offhanded. “I don’t care about what they think. Nor should you.” Neil just shakes his head. “We’re family. We have to treat each other like one.” The words bite at the crumbs of Andrew’s nonchalant demeanor and he lets his guard down wholeheartedly. It’s an understanding. He and Neil have something that the rest of the world can only dream of, and nobody can take that away from them. - Neil often spends time bare-chested with Andrew so that he can further familiarize himself with the feel of Neil’s lacerated skin and by the time they’re falling asleep, Andrew almost invariably ends up wearing Neil’s oversized hoodie he shed earlier to bed.       - He doesn’t feel particularly gentle, but Neil insists that he is. “You’re always so careful,” Neil’s voice is thick with some unchained emotion, yet conversational as he runs fingers over Andrew’s split knuckles. The night air is humid and dark, rain-heavy clouds blot out the stars. They feel exhausted after a particularly grueling game, like battlefields after war, but the heat of Andrew’s body is lilting and makes Neil feel kind of dreamy. “With me, I mean. Nobody else has ever been that considerate.” Andrew’s blank amber eyes stare back at him, shone like opals in the campus lights reflecting from down below. “It’s not concern,” Neil nods in agreement. “No, it’s not.” Andrew then wordlessly takes their entwined hands and holds them against the side of his jaw, just below his cheek. Neil reacts with an elaboration. “Even though it’s always yes with you, you understand that some days it might be a difficult yes. You don’t touch to feast, you touch to steady. You make me feel safe and like I exist. You go about it like flower picking, if that even makes any sense. Cautious but hot, never incomplete and still somehow leaving me wanting more.” Now Neil’s smiling and nudging Andrew’s foot with his own. Their hands still twined at Andrew’s throat. “It’s really sweet.” Neil expects a comeback, an evasion, an immediate it is not but instead Andrew’s silence is pensive. Neil can feel him swallow against his fingers. The swift bob up and back down. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to.” He finally declares. Neil’s heart enflames as he leans in, close enough to Andrew’s mouth that he can taste his breath on his tongue, an inch keeping from tipping over into a kiss. “And I don’t ever want you to feel like I don’t want to. Because I do. I want so much it scares me. Pretty weird, right? Going from being nothing to wanting so much.” They gaze patiently at one another, not kissing, breaths spreading against lips like ripples in a pond. “What if I stopped asking?” Andrew’s voice is barely a whisper, hoarse; afraid almost. “I would like that, but only if you feel comfortable with a decision so big. You don’t have to make it now. Not for me.” Neil replies. Andrew closes his eyes. “Tell me one final time.” Neil traces one of Andrew’s eyelids with a barely-there finger and takes a breath. “Yes. Eternally yes.” Andrew crushes his lips hard against Neil’s: a chemical reaction. The kiss is a languid drink sipped by a man who’d been thirsting for years. The kiss is a game changer and Neil feels it in every single one of his arteries. If such a gesture could be measured, it’d stretch on for eternity. Neil is so thankful when they come apart for air that he’s stunted speechless. Andrew’s expression, once an uprising, now lays its armor down and then, the barest, shortest of burning smiles. Neil thinks he’ll forget how to inflate his lungs. And sitting there, atop their little pocket dimension of a rooftop, with Neil’s face moon-bright and stained red with surprise, Andrew thinks this gentleness will become a bad habit.

nathaniel wesninski had been dead for years before they left him buried in baltimore. he had been dead, but he’d also been ever-present, pacing in the muffled beat of alex’s footsteps, crouching beneath the hooded circles under stefan’s eyes, twitching at the base of chris’s trigger finger. pulsing in the pit of abram’s throat as he stuck a lighter to the hood of his mother’s car. he crawled into bed at neil’s side when he tucked away his brown contacts and pulled out his binder. but neil, abram, alex-stefan-chris, weren’t the only ones he haunted, because he haunted evermore too. he was the silhouette that sat on the edge of the bed opposite jean’s when zane wasn’t in the room. he was the phantom that drew cold fingers over the number that should have been his scrawled on the face of the boy he should have been able to save. he was the speck of light jean saw when he opened his eyes underwater long enough he forgot how to breathe. he was the glinting edge of a box-cutter and the creaking floor of a wooden box and the stale air in jean’s lungs from 48 hours in hell. the point separating 11.9 from 1.19. misplaced forever partners united by being haunted by the same ghost.

Batman : The Deal - Fan-Fiction - DANIEL BAYLISS

HOW IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

SHE SAID THAT THEY WERE DATING, MY BABIES ARE IN A FUCKING SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP