The alien came to the library again, shortly before closing time, and quickly found a book.
"May this entity borrow The Complete History of Knitting?"
They always return the book they borrow after five minutes, but the ritual of checking it seems important to them.
"Of course. Did you bring your card?"
I looked them up, after the first time I saw them for real. They first registered with us over ninety years ago. The senior librarian who first told me about them said I shouldn't stare, or pry.
"Whatever else they are, they are a patron, and should be treated as such," she said. "If they seek knowledge, it is our duty to help them find it."
There isn't an ancient and secret code of librarians, but that is definitely a core part of it. If such a code existed.
I scan the card and the book. "There you go," I say and hand them over. "Please return it within two weeks."
They tilt their head. "This entity will honour your terms."
"Oh! That reminds me, we have updated the terms since your last visit." I hand them the pamphlet we got from the printers last week. "It's mostly about internet usage, but I'll need you to read them and agree."
They study the pamphlet.
"These are terms this entity can abide by." They pause. "Is there no requirement to keep your existence secret?"
"Of course not," I say, "we always welcome new patrons."
They stand silent, long enough for me to realise the implications of what I have just said.
"This entity had made an assumption, based on prior experiences on countless worlds, where knowledge is always closely guarded and costly to obtain" they say at last. "You will provide knowledge for free to all who seek it?"
In my mind, I weigh humanity's ignorance of those countless worlds of alien civilisations against the code.
"Yes," I say, "this is a library."
the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument
CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY
that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.
So, I really love the selection of Tim Walz for VP and it’s taken me a moment to articulate why. I mean, obviously, Dem bonafides, he’s sharp, he’s funny, etc etc. But everyone in the Veepstakes fits that bill, Harris was spoiled for good choices.
But Walz offers something that the other men in contention don’t that I think will be incredibly useful in combating Trumpism.
He offers an example and an off ramp to the section of men who felt like they were Republicans by default, and so support Trump by default. There are a lot of Trump voters who are full on obsessive, but that’s not who we’re talking to. We’re talking to folks who grew up in Republican areas, or felt their hobbies didn’t line up with who a Democrat was, or didn’t feel represented by their image of a Democrat. You want to see it so you can be it, you know? Which is why Harris is so inspirational to a lot of segments of folks, but Walz is too.
He served in the military. He went to a state college. He’s your favorite teacher from your public high school. He’s your football coach who actually cared if you were passing your math class. He’s the guy you looked up to at school when your family sucked but this guy cared, and he helped you get out and make something of yourself.
He’s the neighbor who helps you jump your car. He’s your uncle who takes you hunting. He’s your Dad who loves teasing you at the Stare Fair. He’s you when he makes a mistake like his DUI and takes responsibility for it, and when he has the chance makes sure other can come back from similar mistakes. He’s you when you and your wife want so badly to be parents and IVF gives you the family you wanted. He’s you when he says ‘it had to be me’ and used his standing and power to protect vulnerable kids sponsoring the GSA at his school.
He gives the real life example to these men that they can be that football, fishing, hunting family man who wants to provide for his family, be that powerful, respected member of the community and use that power to feed kids in school. That it’s normal to enthusiastically work for a boss like Harris. That yeah those other guys are fucking weirdos, and you’re not a weirdo, are you?
That there’s a place in the Democratic Party for them. That they don’t have to default to being fucking weird.
I hope those guys see this example of masculinity and go… yeah, that’s me. That’s who I’m gonna be.
straight people shut up challenge
when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw
If you change your mind 💕
Decided to make a tournament poll blog because everyone seems to be doing it uh I hope I'm doing this right
Basically what it says on the tin, let us, the great minds of Tumblr, decide once and for all the objectively greatest joke ever put into the art form of cinema. I am sure our decision will be universally agreed upon with no controversy whatsoever.
I am your host, S! (He/Him, don't mind They/Them either though) I will be your referee throughout this tournament as we encounter twists and turns, upsets, and close finishes galore!
(I hope at least, that's good for engagement)
Include the films name, year of release, and a thorough explanation of the joke itself and why it is hysterical. A quip, some physical comedy, a running gag, anything goes as long as it's funny! If said joke involves significant spoilers it should be prefaced with a warning. Also while films in any language can be submitted do please write the submission itself in English. Also also please attach images or gifs if possible relating to the joke, it will save me a lot of time later. While I will be somewhat lenient, I reserve the right to delete any submission that does not meet the above requirements.
Anything released after December 31st, 2019: to avoid recency bias
All the Potterverse films: because JK Rowling is a scumbag and trans rights
Films that have dated views on certain subjects like Casablanca are allowed but genuinely malicious films like Birth of A Nation are not; I will mostly exercise my own discretion here but may put some cases up to a poll
Please don't be the reason I add any more here
I'll start when I feel I have enough submissions
One more thing: be nice. Hyperbole can be funny but actually hateful comments will not be tolerated.
Have Fun!