Remember Girls! There Are No Consequences For Bratty Puppies Out There. Consequence Is A Myth Made Up

As a leading expert in sex, let me tell you my classification schema for different type of masturbation techniques.

first, i will define masturbation as an act that is done for sexual pleasure, alone or with someone else.

when classifying masturbation, the most important factor is the location where sexual pleasure is applied. these can be:

Penile (shaft of the penis)

Testicular

Clitoral (including the head of the penis)

Labial

Vaginal

Perineal (on the perineum)

Anal

Extra-Sexual (not related to the sex organs)

Mental (eg erotic hypnosis)

then the means of masturbation:

manual (without a toy)

vibratory instrumental (with vibrating toy)

non-vibratory instrumental (with a non vibrating sex toy)

then the manner of masturbation:

rubbing

hammering (touching and then not touching something repeatedly, for example riding a dildo/ penis)

mental does not have the means or manner subtypes. meaning there is 49 types of masturbation.

there is also co-masturbation, which enables masturbation but isn't masturbation itself, such as porn, erotica, and lube

and also anti-masturbation, which halts masturbation, such as a safe word or shame when a parent comes home

my wife has taken to slapping my tits a lot and she's been getting more and more rough about it and i cant help but get so horny when she abuses my tits i really fucking like it and yeah just wanted to let you all know a weakness of mine U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U

she just like me for real

is mi >:3

straigbt up "under it" and by "it" well lets jusr say, my blankeys

it's honestly a crime that i haven't be florted yet.

but god to be filled with xenodrugs and taken care of for the rest of your life by a tall, kind owner is the dream

floret needs uppies

"I'm old enough to be your mom" proved world's second best pickup line

Second only to "you're like a sister to me"

being fucked by your big sis is amazing, but rn i need to cuddle her and have my hair played with and told everything will be alright

hello government agents,

*i* just came hard on a dildo and still can't think straight

for anyone who needs to hear this: you deserve to be ate out.

you're beautiful, you're pleasant to touch, you're divine to look at, there is nothing wrong with your body, it is a privilege to touch you and squish you and kiss you and grope you and make you feel good