In The Quiet,

I don’t know what to write, maybe it’s because I’m in the midst of a lot of feelings, it hit me today just how low on cash I am and even doh there are a few things in the works, I wonder if I will survive long enough, I am second guessing my decision to leave my job about a year ago but another part of me is saying f*** that mostly because it’s not worth it.

I have 40gh in my account all I can do is work and eat, I can’t do anything spontaneous, I am looking at myself and I am worried, ngl I feel very very worried, I am looking around for who is going to help and feel shame, I feel embarrassed that I am trying to get someone to help me or give me money, like a handout.

I know I made the right decision, it’s not been easy, there is a heavy sigh in my heart, and I know that I need to hang in there, need to believe but omo it’s hard to do in this exact moment

So I am back to my warrior position, lying on the floor in fetal position were I can find the strength to get up, trust and believe that everything is going to be alright but for now we lie down

Moving on

Moving on from something is an entire process, moving on from a person is a different ball game, however watching someone move on from you brings with it a unique different type of sadness, which can be hard to articulate at first but then you sit with it for a bit and you come to the realization of why this sadness feels different, it’s cause you are being de-centered but then you think when did being in the center of another person’s life matter to you so immensely and then you realize it’s simply love.

I don’t think you can fully stop loving someone you truly loved, they will always be a small part of you that you carry forever.

That’s it, that’s the post.

Nigeria is the first African team, whether men's or women's, to advance to the Olympic quarterfinals in basketball 🇳🇬✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

Some scary things are worth doing. Going outside, talking to people, public speaking, trying out something new, getting a job even tho you're unsure how it will go. You're a scared little plant but you can blossom into a beautiful, self assured tulip if you try being brave.

The scene at Osun Osogbo in Osun State, Nigeria by Adeolu Osibodu (@adeoluosibodu)

I participated in a live quiz by a writer on Substack, which got me thinking about love, partners, and relationships. People who believe in and practice monogamy often see their love as pure, earnest, and true. In contrast, those who explore other types of relationships, such as polyamory, are often viewed as less pure, less earnest, and definitely untrue.

For a long time, I believed in the ideology that polyamorous love was somehow less pure because society teaches that true love is meant to be between two people forever. However, we are society, and we have the power to determine our own beliefs and values. Thus, we can choose to view love differently.

Regardless of other factors, love is love. If it's not genuine, then it simply isn't. When you truly love someone—or multiple people—your affection for one person doesn't diminish the love you have for another. We express love in different ways, and it's impossible to equate or quantify it.

An important aspect to consider is the notion that differing levels of commitment in polyamorous relationships indicate a lack of commitment overall. However, that is not the case. If someone is open and transparent with their partners about wanting to be involved with both, how is that not a form of commitment? In fact, it could be seen as a double commitment!

The idea that someone can love two or more people romantically because one person isn’t enough for them is a common myth. It’s important to recognize that it’s never truly about the other person. What does it even mean for someone to be "enough"? We need community and connection, and a person can thrive with more than one meaningful relationship. This doesn't automatically make each person any less whole or sufficient. In my view, the answer is no; they are still complete individuals.

I am tired of ranting and will head to bed now

Fe

Hi there

I hope it hurts a little less today.

Get to know your self,

What you love, like or hate

What makes you smile the widest

What makes you feel excited

What is love to you

What makes you feel afraid

What saddens you deeply

Who brightens up your day

Source: kitten.foster.corner

There are days were the heaviness in my chest is so strong that I want to crawl under the bed or be unconscious for a while till the heaviness lifts off.

Is it always going to be like this?

Not a lot of people talk about GAD but it’s a real and deep struggle on its own

#anxiety #breathless