The Picture Of Dorian Gray Is So Good, I Can Read It Over And Over Again And It Never Gets Old!

"no beta we kayak like tim"

I actually dont care what my teachers think of me (i cried after parents evening)

I've seen inside your head and I'm doing surgery on the parts that still wish you were dead.

im not trying to say its easy but im trying to say its fine

the antidote to sadness is not laughter, but expression

What do you scroll for? What are you looking to find?

In the first verse its him being hopelessly in love. I specifically used the phrase "You were mine" over and over in reference to the signing of all their letters between each other with "yrs" and the last one was signed "yrs forever" and he sent it a day before Laurens died so we dont know if he even got it. Never getting over that. Then we have the classic homophobic dad, shattering his manic pixie girl dreams (he wanted to live in a cottage in the woods with Alex and 17 cats). Then the next verse is about how helpless he made him feel (reference) and you know when you like someone and its all wobbly and they consume your every waking thought and they can send you spiraling with a glance. Yeah that. Then "trying to find an explanation for every line" is him panicking because what if people find out? How will I make them think we were just guys being bros when its so painfully obvious I loved him? Are we throwing away our shot (reference) at making the history books with this relationship? Is it worth it? Then he realises that history has its ways of doing that for them, somewhere along the line it'll get twisted and our relationship will be called platonic. Then he's wondering if he really wants that? It's dangerous to pretend. It's just not true. Homophobic dad part 2 when he finds the letters. [Enter homophobic dog meme: I know what you are] Now he turns on Alex, he says Alex doesn't care for their legacy, Laurens worries for their impact on history which he might not get to make if this gets out. "they will erase us from the narrative" and Laurens being glad they will, and then the repeated phrase "the war never ended". this bit is important because it has a double meaning. 1: When the war ended, he died straight after, so yes, for him the war never ended it pretty much carried on to the end of his life. 2: His inner battles/war over his relationship w Hamilton and all the other internal stuff, which is what the song is about. This is followed up by the realisation that the world has no right to know about their personal lives, basically. Then the final decision to keep the memories. The last line is a quiet "i hope they dont burn" in reference to the letters/memories.

Oof thats a lot. okay i hope you enjoyed

Burn (Laurens' version)

I saved every letter you wrote me

From the moment I read them,

I knew you were mine

You said you were mine

You really were mine

Do you know what my father said

When I ripped your first letter open?

He said, "Be careful with that one, son

I don't see a point in you hoping,"

You and your words flooded my senses.

Your sentences left me defenseless

You ruined palaces with your paragraphs

You wrecked cathedrals

I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me

Trying to find an explanation for every line

Each word is a sign

You really were mine

The world could just burn

Burn

They'll destroy all the letters I wrote you

They'll fool the whole world into thinking that we were just friends

A dangerous game

They have hidden our lives.

Do you know what my father said

When he found the letters in file

He said, "In all your affections,

He is making you more than just smile,"

You and your words,

No care for our legacy

Your sentences border on senseless

And I am made paranoid by every paragraph

How will they perceive you?

You, you, you

They will erase us from the narrative

Let future historians wonder,

What happened to Laurens?

When the war ended

The war never ended

I watch my heart burn

Watching it burn

The world has no right to my heart

The world cannot see in my head

They don't get to know what I said

They're burning the memories

Burning the letters

That might have exposed you

I wish you could stay in my heart

You won't leave your place in my head

I'll love you in silence instead

I'm keeping the memories of when you were mine

I hope they don't burn

So this is a rewrite of Burn from Hamilton in the perspective of John Laurens because they were gay. Idk what else to say tbh. ill post an analysis of it later if i can be bothered

killing myself, the mortifying ordeal of being known is too much for me

you know those deeply disturbing short stories you read in English when youre like 9-13 with really questionable plot lines that stick in your mind forever