188 posts
My MnM out here doing the most (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)
literally heartbreaking. see that crack.. he just BROKE his pussy.
Hey Tumblr. Got another fanfic. This one is inspired by some artwork of the incredible @commissar-yarrick that just had me in a chokehold.
It is explicit, so read responsibly. Otherwise enjoy ( T_T)\(^-^ )
Yes yes yes
Oh god
Something I have been working on. Finally got to post it here 🫶
I actually just enjoy drawing him.
Let's goo!
my friends and I decided to have some fun
If I was 18 in 2012 with a Tumblr I would be unstoppable
I am NOT normal about this
Top Gear (UK) RPF, James May/Richard Hammond, enemies to lovers
It is The Stig
It was originally going to be called “The Gimp”, but was renamed The Stig, which means having a bad fashion sense while being born poor
“We don't know its name, we really don't know its name, nobody knows its name, and we don't want to know, because it's a racing driver.”
The Stig wears its helmet on set and most cast members don’t know who it is.
The Stig does not know who it is because they wiped its memory when it got the job.
It is the Pope.
There is only one The Stig.
The Stig used to work in Rome[as the pope], but gave up its job to be able to keep up with its work here
It has no face
It is terrified of scouts
The drinks cabinet in its car contains 14 different types of custard
Its favourite T-shirt has a picture of a T-shirt
It is afraid of bells
It is confused by stairs
It never blinks
The Stig is kept in the cupboard when not in use
It naturally faces magnetic north
It has a digital face
The Stig has an evil twin named Black Stig who died after driving off an aircraft carrier but came back to life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lkh0uWFg9c
It will charge you if you attempt to remove its helmet
Its nipples are explosive
It paid a $25,000 expenses claim for some gravel for his moat
The Stig has three legs
The Stig once dreamt for a whole week straight about what Rubens Barrichello would look like in a ham slicer
The Stig is banned from the town of Chichester
The Stig is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ
The Stig bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh
If you hold it in the wrong way, it doesn't work properly
It is 47% horse
It has 17 children due to faulty condoms
The Stig has a special pissing technique that causes floods
It once punched a horse to the ground
It has Mansell Syndrome
The Stig runs on diesel
It has a very small brain
It “has no understanding of the concept of money”
The Stig’s credit card says “The Stig” and is issued by The Bank of Money
The Stig’s favorite genres of music are: Morse code, whale songs, baroque music, advertising jingles, country & western music, sales techniques, foreign language learning tapes, ABBA but French, speeches of Margaret Thatcher, Elton John, pipe bands, vuvuzelas, national anthems, Tuvan throat singing, self help audiotapes, and “an annoying ringing sound”
The Stig has to receive awards in its left hand, as its right one is magnetic
The Stig has decided all northerners are edible
It’s mission statement is to "just go out there and drive fast"
The Stig’s opinion is worthless
The Stig has died multiple times, but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell it.
The extent of The Stig’s knowledge outside racing is two facts about ducks
Both facts are wrong
The three others once reenacted the journey of the three wise men, and at the end, the manger held a baby The Stig.
The next episode a month later, it was fully grown. Due to “Stigs grow very quickly, and the new The Stig was thus already fully grown.”
Stigs must be transported in delivery crates
The Stig has a fatter American cousin called Big Stig, who is a more relaxed driver
The Stig has an African cousin who only wears boots, a loincloth, racing gloves, and a helmet, has watched “The Lion King” 1780 times, ands second-best friend is a Cape buffalo
The Stig has a cousin who works as a truck driver named Rig Stig who can power slide and drift in trucks, has only one sleeve and wears special gloves, favorite song is “Forever Autumn" by Justin Hayward, and owns the world’s largest porn collection
The Stig has a red-suited Vietnamese cousin who is a communist and rides a motorcycle.
The Stig has a vegetarian cousin named Janet Stig Porter whose helmet is solar powered and wears overalls and socks with sandals
The Stig has a German cousin named Herr Stig who is identical to The Stig in every way besides having a mullet
The Stig has an Italian cousin named Bunga-Bunga Stig who wears a suit, is followed everywhere by three women, and only drives Italian sports cars
The Stig has a Chinese cousin named Attack Stig who is a kung-fu master, attacks anyone on sight indiscriminately, kicked James Lemay in the balls, beat up a large amount of the crew(even stopping in the middle of his timed lap to attack a track Marshall who accidentally entered its line of sight), and looks almost the same as The Stig
The Stig has a teenage cousin who wears headphones, wears low waist line pants showing its underwear, always looks at its phone, and made a mobile game titled “Top Gear: Race The Stig”
The Stig has an Australian cousin who lives in an open cut iron ore mine, wears dusty overalls and flip-flops, is very muscular, and has a very “large gentlemanly sausage”
The Stig has three other teenage cousins who are triplets, wear three different colored headphones and smartphones, and all have low waist line pants showing their underwear
The Stig has a Emirati cousin who looks similar to the normal Stig but wears a ghutrah on top its helmet and a huge diamond watch
The Stig has a relative of unknown association called “StigFoot” who lives in the woods
The Stig has a Japanese cousin named Ninja Stig who is a ninja, and wears a black helmet, a black ninja outfit, and has a katana on its back
The Stig has a business cousin named Business Stig who wears a red tie and a set of braces
The Stig’s father is named StigDad and wears a tank top and flare trousers
The Stig has another Australian cousin who lives upside down
The Stig has a New Zealander cousin named The Stug
The Stig has a Colorodonian cousin named Backwoods Stig who wears white racing overalls with torn off sleeves.
The Stig has a Yorkshire cousin named T’Stig with a flat cap on its helmet and 2 dogs by his feet at all times
The Stig has its own children’s book trilogy
The Stig has a chiseled jawline
The Stig has no friends
The Stig never blinks
The Stig roams the woods at night, foraging for wolves
The Stig is wanted by the CIA
The Stig sleeps upside down like a bat
The Stig can catch fish with its tounge
The Stig appears on high value stamps in Sweden
The Stig is illegal in 17 states
The Stig blinks sideways
The Stig’s breath smells like magnesium
Two of The Stig’s legs are hydraulic
The Stig lives in a tree
It’s sweat can be used to clean precious metals
It’s heart ticks like a watch
It’s voice can only be heard by cats
The Stig has two sets of knees
There is an airport in Russia named after it
Its skin has the texture of a dolphin
No matter where you are in the world, if you tune a radio to 88.4, you can hear its thoughts
The Stig has no understanding of clouds
Its earwax tastes like Turkish delight
The Stig is a master of politics
It’s tears are adhesive
If you set The Stig on fire, it would burn for a thousand days
The Stig can swim seven lengths under the water
The Stig has webbed buttchecks
Its heart is upside down
Its teeth glow in the dark
Its ears “aren’t where you would expect them to be”
The Stig once had an affair with John Prescott
If it felt like it, it could fire Alan Sugar
The Stig has upside down genitals
If it wanted to, it could crack the DaVinci Code in 43 seconds
Its ears have a paisley lining
The Stig is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show
The outline of The Stig’s left nipple is the exact same shape as the Nürburgring
If given a truly important job, The Stig will slack off and play croquet instead
The Stig invented Branston Pickle
On exceptionally warm days, it will shed its skin like a snake
The Stig is allergic to the Dutch
It’s first name is The
If it went in Celebrity Love Island, every one would be pregnant, including the cameramen
The Stig once threw a microwave at someone
The Stig once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner
The Stig has nothing to do with the cash-for-honors scandal
The Stig is a CIA experiment that went wrong
The Stig only eats cheese
If you lick its chest, it will taste exactly like piccalilli
The Stig sucks moisture from ducks
Its crash helmet is modeled after Brittany Spears’ head
The Stig isn’t machine washable
All its potted plants are named Steve
The Stig’s scrotum has its own gravity field
To unlock The Stig, you must run your finger down its face
The Stig thought Star Wars was a documentary
The Stig is afraid of Australian trees
61 years ago, The Stig accidentally introduced the Queen of England to a Greek racialist
The Stig was beheaded, but grew it back
When it slows down, break lights turn on in his butt
The Stig is bad at soccer
The Stig once lost a canoe on a beach in the Northeast
The Stig once had to do time in a prison in Canterbury, because its teddy bear was named Baby Jesus
The Stig has never sat on Santa’s knee
The Stig has never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day
After having sex, The Stig bites the head off its partner
The Stig had to give up binge drinking when prices reached $1.50 a litre
Each of its toenails are exactly the same length as a woman’s nipples
It thinks Credit Crunch is a type of cereal
Its droppings have been found as far as New York
The Stig has a full-size tattoo of The Stig’s face on its face
It is impossible for The Stig to wear socks
The Stig can open a beer bottle with its testes
The Stig sleeps inside out
The Stig once had sex with an answering machine
The Stig invented November
One of its eyes is a testicle
Its left leg gets longer when it sees someone it finds attractive
The Stig doesn’t like getting its helmet wet
The Stig invented the curtain
The Stig thinks potato chips are a type of animal
The Stig is baffled by urinals
The Stig has twelve GCSEs, all in domestic science
The Stig has been producing artificial sperm for years, even though the team has repeatedly asked it not to
On Thursdays, The Stig becomes extremely bulbous
The Stig is highly contagious of the “The Stig Flu”, which killed countless pigs in Mexico
If The Stig compensated a soldier for getting wounded, it wouldn't try to take it all back again
The Stig made someone bald once
In the Autumn, all its arms turn brown and fall off
if it wrote you a letter of condolence, The Stog would get your name right
The Stig has terrible plans involving the Moon
The Stig‘s new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of Wednesday
The Stig was turned down for the job of EU President because its face was just too recognizable
The Stig has never once hit a fire hydrant.
You shouldn't go around to its house for your Christmas lunch unless you enjoy the taste of seagull
The Stig has to take his shoes off with an alum key
The Stig’s New Year's Resolution is to eat fewer mice
Its discharge is luminous
There are 17 different reasons why The Stig is banned from the North Hampton branch of Little Chef
Its favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber, or two, actually
The Stig has an irrational hatred of Rubens Barricello
The Stig is terrified the BBC will reveal its salary because its paid in hardcore porn
Some people think the Scottish released it a little bit too soon
The Stig once spent all week slowly pushing an effigy of Rubens Barricello through his desk fan
The Stig has recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of "Lady Gaga"
Under its race suit, The Stig also wears a red G-string and suspenders
The Stig doesn't understand the word "envelope"
The Stig is the only person in Britain not to have slept with Alan Johnson's policeman
The Stig once tore a goat in half
Its nipples are explosive
In its wallet, it keeps a photograph of its wallet
Its favourite disease it had as a child was gout
The Stig doesn’t know what dogs are for
The Stig can't eat mashed potato for religious reasons
The Stig once received 47,000 Olympic tickets, all of them for the final of women's wrestling
The Stig refuses to acknowledge the existence of Nottinghamshire
The Stig once hacked into its own helmet
The Stig is the only person in Britain who knows what B&Q stands for
The Stig once spent its $1.5 million dollar bonus on French breast implants
The Stig has 50,000 photographs of its own camera
The Stig has high horsepower
The Stig is skilled in cocktail-making
The Stig is the only person in history to buy a DFS sofa when it wasn’t on sale
Its favourite boxing venue is Munich Airport
The Stig stores all of its shoes and cassette tapes on the motorway central reservation
Following the vote on gay marriage in Britain, The Stig got engaged to James May’s lawnmower
Its convinced that Henry IV is buried under the Follow-Through
The Stig used to be a stormtrooper, but it was kicked out when it tried to eat Darth Vader
The Stig is made of rubber porcelain
The Stig’s shadow is that of a beluga whale
The Stig can play guitar with the clutch
Its carbon fibre beard is chiselled in the most streamlined way
The Stig knighted the former Queen of England
The Stig once saved the former Queen from God
The Stig can hypnotize sheep
If bothered, The Stig could swim the entire Atlantic Ocean-underwater
The Stig once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters
The Stig once actually punched God
The Stig once killed a giraffe with just its feet
The Stig has a black belt in paper maché
Some say it is five foot tall with lead in its feet
Others say six feet with tall with air in its head
....but it doesn't care what you say
The Stig has contracted every STD known to man
The Stig has large inflatable breasts to get them out of speeding tickets
The Stig is one of the protons in the Large Hadron Collider
The Stig creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes
The Stig was the one who actually pulled Excalibur from the stone and is the rightful King of England
The Stig gave birth to Chuck Norris and the mother was Superman
The Stig has no understanding of queuing
The Stig once modelled for Page 3
Its feet are made from dog leather
The Stig invented the mankini because it was frustrated with how its speedos looked on it
The Stig is the reason why The Beatles split up
And finally: The Stig has never watched an episode of Top Gear because it prefers a different show that airs at the same time
“Right, that's the track, now we needed someone who could tame it. So we got ourselves a professional racing driver who could post consistently fast lap times. We um, we couldn't do that. Now we call this thing The Stig, okay, we don't know its name, we really don't know its name, no-one knows its name and we don't want to know because it's a racing driver and racing drivers have tiny little brains and therefore worthless opinions and they're very dull; doctors actually call it Mansell Syndrome. Um, its job is simply to go out there and drive fast.”
-God probably
william shatner is a fascinating man would love to study him in a lab
Probably one of the cutest walkie-talkie exchanges they ever did.
S21E02
you hysterical old man we so love you
credit: The Grand Tour youtube channel
This is something I wrote for the three Top Gear presenters: https://www.wattpad.com/story/368928450?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=FangirlLOUISA
This is from an idea I've had in the past days: I have been obsessed with Old UK Top Gear lately and I thought of a little AU where Jeremy, James and Richard are Jäger pilots (Pacific Rim).
Their giant 🪨 bot is of course called Geoff and I've a bed a little design to it. Also there is this thought in my mind where Richard in particular finds a juvenile and rather peaceful Kaiju left in the human world to stay alive on it's own. Hammond sneaks it into his room at base and calls it Oliver. He does try training the beast and they build an inseparable bond.
Jeremy and James are the two main pilots of Geoff, whereas Richard has an extra spot to operate the huuuge canon. The two older pilots, due to sharing some memories while bridging, find out about the creature Hammond is hiding. They don't tell their Admiral, Andy Will man, but are quite mad.
HELLO STAR TREK FANS
I found subs of this, so here is a not-really-Star-Trek-but-you-know edit for you
Context: In 1964, the TV series The Man from U.N.C.L.E. had an episode (s1 e9 - The Project Strigas Affair) starring both William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy as secondary characters. This is literally how the two met for the first time.
Some scenes might look confusing without watching the full episode, but I left them because they were funny.
BONUS: in the first scene where Shatner and Nimoy appear together in their career, as part of the mission, Michael (Shatner) is supposed to act as a specific persona at the party:
As you can see in the video, Michael does it pretty well! He gets drunk! He flirts with a woman! And then…
??????????
LOL (no, I don't think I'll ever get over this)
Just something I did during my latest obsession.
glenn telling rob to not go down on him
i dont think i'd ever heard someone say trans rights so menacingly until this clip
When I tell you I snorted!
crybaby learns how to swim - subtitled
the fact that this is an actual spirk montage in an actual interview in an actual 2006 ‘living in tv land’ episode that william shatner actually was the executive producer of actually breaks my brain
He may not have all his memories back yet, but Spock knows that he would 'the hell do it again'.
Jim? Less so.
(please no reposts! reblogs welcome <3)
Edited by yours truly.
Please I really don't know why I made this....
(The Toby Jack one is a reference of Deforest Kelley's baddie character in Apache Uprising)
William Shatner and surprise guest Leonard Nimoy during Shatner’s appearance on the British version of This Is Your Life, originally broadcast by Thames Television in the UK on December 27th, 1989.
This scenes are so similar, yet so different. I have so many simple feelings 🥺❤️
"If I Were A Carpenter" performed by Leonard Nimoy
How am I just now discovering Leonard Nimoy's albums??? My life is forever changed.