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The sound of baggages rolled to the floor as the familiar smell of Seoul brings you in. You were at the airport, waiting for your suitcase in the baggage claiming platform.
This time, you plan to stay in Seoul for good. You've been away to the country for work, having to work multiple roles in marketing. You felt like you were dominating the world at your hands. Money was never a problem for you, in fact, you could even buy a house in Seoul in just a snap.
For the past years, you kept your studio apartment in Chunghyeon-dong so you could have a place to stay whenever you go back there. In front of your apartment lives the Hwang brothers, In-ho and Jun-ho. You and Jun-ho grew up together, treating him like your little brother. Back then, Jun-ho had a weaker state of health, so playing with him involved a lot of adjustments to his strength. You would look after Jun-ho whenever their parents were away. In those moments, you remember how you and In-ho would share little memories together whenever Jun-ho was taking his afternoon naps. Both of you would watch cartoons on TV, making sure to lower the volume to not wake Jun-ho up.
"Got your nose!" In-ho touched your nose and hid his thumb under his index finger. Being the kid you were, your naivety strikes in. You furrowed your eyebrows and let out a grunt.
"Give it back, oppa!" You said as you try to get his hand, only for him to reach his hand higher, making it harder for you to reach. You grunted as you jumped, trying to reach it. In-ho sticks out his tongue to you as you pull a tantrum.
"Quiet down, Y/N," In-ho said as he dropped his hand to cover your mouth, calming you down. You remember Jun-ho sleeping on the other room. Still, you gave In-ho a glare as he removed his hand. He motions his hand to your nose, giving it a small snap. "Here's your nose back, silly."
You touched your face, playing with the tip of your nose. You stick out your tongue to In-ho to which he only chuckled, putting his hand all over your hair as he messed it up. He grabbed a bag of chips on the table, offering you some. You accepted and turned your attention to the TV. The guy character proposes to his girlfriend, offering her a ring as he gets down on one knee. You gave it a confusing look, not fully understanding the concept of it yet. "Why do they have to kneel when asking to marry someone, oppa?"
In-ho puts his hand on his chin as if to think. He looks up as if there was a thought bubble on the side of his head. "I don't know. Maybe to make it more interesting?"
"Anyone can do that?" You asked, gluing your eyes to the TV as you watched how the girl says yes, wearing the ring on her finger. "You kneel and ask someone to marry you, then that's it?"
In-ho chuckled. "No, silly. Appa says they have weddings."
"Oh," you said, chuckling to yourself. "She looks so happy. Will that make me happy in the future, do you think, oppa?"
In-ho looked at you for a minute, then his face brightened up. In-ho grabbed a piece of paper in one of the notes beside the telephone and a pen. He began to write something on it. Then, he folded the paper into a strip. He looks at you and says, "Give me your hand." You give him yours as he touches your left ring finger, folding the paper around it and twists the end until it fits perfectly. "Does it make you happy then?"
You bring your hand closer to your eye, observing it. Its texture glided through the sides of your finger and you look at In-ho confusingly. "A paper ring?"
"Well, I don't have the real one!" In-ho laughed, earning a laugh from you as well. "Those rings may cost a fortune, it's a privilege you get to have one from me."
You scoffed playfully then looked at the TV, seeing the guy holding flowers as he gave it to the girl. You turned to In-ho again, "Oppa, you don't have flowers."
He thinned his lips and glanced around the living room, looking for something as near as a flower. His eyes stopped at a flower vase placed on top of the kitchen counter. He hurriedly walks over there, picks one up, and returns to you with the flower at hand. He reaches it to you, but you shook your head, much to his confusion. "What, I thought you wanted a flower?"
"That's not how he gave it," you pointed out to the TV to which he looked, seeing the guy hiding the flower from the back first then handing it to the girl, much to the girl's surprise.
In-ho rolled his eyes and sighed. Still, he stood straight and held the flower behind him. Then with a smile, he hands the flower to you. "Happy?"
You ignored his question, too happy to get the flower from his hand. It was a small daisy, holding it on your finger as you giggled. You looked up to In-ho, seeing him smile as he watched you. You stood up and gave him a hug, the flower still on your hand as you kept the paper ring on your finger. "Thank you, In-ho oppa."
You wondered what happened to the brothers as you were apart from them for a long time. You left Seoul when you were nine years old. You remember crying during your last night at the apartment as you never wanted to leave. You just wanted to stay there and be with Jun-ho and In-ho, but you had to move to the US with your family as your appa accepted a job offer there. They wanted you to also be immersed with other cultures as well to give you a lot of advantage to the real world. It wasn't an easy journey as you faced racism in the country, but eventually blended in as years pass by. To your sadness, Jun-ho and In-ho weren't able to go with you to the airport to bid their goodbyes, but you chose to understand. Their family was going through a tough time, especially that Jun-ho has been very ill lately. Instead, you left them both a letter and slipped it at the bottom of their gate, hopefully either of them will be able to read it.
You grabbed your suitcase from the platform and walked through the airport down to the exit, the familiar scent of Seoul coming right at you as you stepped outside. You let out a deep breath and embraced the environment, letting the familiarity run through your body and let out a small smile. You were back home, and you couldn't wait to go back to your apartment.
You held out your hand as you hailed a taxi cab. First thing to do when in Seoul - eat instant noodles in a convenience store. You still remember the store near your apartment, feeling your insides growl as you thought about the taste of kimchi ramen. It's been a long time since you've had one, as the US were more keen on anything fried chicken, fries, and pizza. You missed the taste of kimchi, the one fresh from Korea that you preferred than those in the US.
As you arrived at the convenience store, you thanked the driver and handed out your fare, bowing before exiting the cab. You grabbed your suitcase with you, looking back at the driver to give him another bow. He drove off as you entered the store, the cold breeze of the store hugging you in. Immediately, you grabbed a small basket and filled it with the kimchi ramen instant noodles, kimchi, and a soda.
You settled on your meal as you happily blow out the noodles with your chopsticks, savoring it to your mouth. You let out a small moan, missing the taste of ramen. You looked out the window as you stared into space, thinking of the life you had in here before moving to the US. Though it has been a long time since then, the memories still clung to you realizing the fact that you're back home.
You wondered how In-ho and Jun-ho has been doing. You haven't talked to them in a long time. You don't even know how they look like now as the friendship kind of drifted away because of the distance. Though you could remember how you guys looked like when you were young, but that was it. You kept the paper ring that In-ho made for you on your wallet. You didn't want to forget the friendship or let it die. At least in this way, you still had proof of the amazing friendship you had with the brothers, especially with In-ho.
You remember how In-ho always managed to do something for you. You didn't have to ask, he would simply do it just because. Though you were too young to experience what real love was, but looking back, you realize how both of you were able to experience a genuine, innocent puppy love. You chuckled to yourself as you remember how In-ho always lost when playing paengi chigi. You taught him how to do so, always making sure that he played with his left hand. He wanted to impress you with the ability of doing it with both hands, but you only teased him whenever he tries to do it with his right hand.
Gong-gi was expected to be played by girls a lot, and you always wondered why that's the case. You always sucked at gong-gi, but boy, In-ho was one hell of an expert when playing it. You were more familiar with paengi chigi. In return, In-ho would teach you how to play it. It was odd how both of you always practiced playing these games as if you were competing in an olympic game, but you enjoyed spending time with In-ho. He seemed like he did to.
"Do you think they have an olympics for paengi chigi and gong-gi?" In-ho wondered, rolling the rope all over the top.
"I'm not sure," you shrugged. "But that would be interesting!"
"Let's team up when we get the chance then," In-ho grabbed the top and threw it on the ground, holding it back to make it spin. The top spun around perfectly, earning a smirk from In-ho. You jumped happily, looking as the top perfectly spun on the ground. You see In-ho adjusting his black glasses as he smiled. "You promise to team up with me?" He held out his pinky finger to you, gesturing a promise.
You grinned as you wrapped yours with his, a promise officially made. "I promise!"
A man with a backpack knocks on the window in front of you, snapping you away from your thoughts. You look at him and he waves, earning a confused look from you. You wave reluctantly and sees him rushing to the door, entering the store.
"Noona!" The man called out as he placed his backpack on the table beside you and excitedly sat on the chair next to you. "It's been so long!"
Noona? You remember only one person ever called you that throughout your stay in Seoul.
Your eyes widened upon the realization and felt tears forming in your eyes. You held your arms wide as a motion for a hug. "Jun-ho!" You motioned his body to hug you, wrapping your arms around him tightly. "Oh my, look how you've grown!"
"I missed you so much, noona. Since when did you come back? A lot has changed here since you left," you hear Jun-ho sniff, pulling back from you as he wipe his tears. You gave him a comforting smile. You gestured to offer your ramen, but he politely declined.
"I just arrived an hour ago," you told him. "I'm staying for good. Besides, I missed you and In-ho so much!"
You saw Jun-ho's smile slowly fade, much to your confusion. Then as if he realized it, he regained his smile and nodded. You knew he was so happy to see you, having taken care of him when you were young when he was ill. You and Jun-ho catch up on lost times, updating each other on what happened after you left Seoul.
You put your hand in shock when you found out about In-ho. You couldn't imagine how In-ho handled his situation - his wife passing, drowned in debt, borrowing money only to be taken as a bribe, fired from his job. You always looked up to In-ho who became such a protective and loving brother to Jun-ho, only to be treated by life so harshly. You also found out In-ho missing for the past few years. Jun-ho averted your gaze as he mentioned it, earning a gut feeling from you that he was trying to hide something.
You didn't want to pry, but you couldn't help but feel concerned for In-ho. Maybe he left somewhere to clear his thoughts - it was understandable knowing about the things he had to endure. If anything, you know how Jun-ho cared for his older brother deeply. He mentioned joining the police force and being a detective because of In-ho, looking up to his old brother as an inspiration. In-ho, being the selfless person he is, donated his kidney to Jun-ho. You remembered how limited the time was for Jun-ho when playing outside - he was in constant care then. And now, seeing him all grown up and being the amazing person he is now, you can't help but shed a tear. You looked at him with a smile, telling him how proud you were of him.
"We got your letter," Jun-ho said as he grabbed his wallet from his backpack, picking up the letter that was hidden on the inside pocket. "I can't believe you didn't tell us that you had to leave, Y/N. How dare you leave without a prior notice." He pouted and you chuckled, pinching a bit of his cheek.
"I guess I've always sucked at goodbyes, huh?" You said as you take a sip of your soda. "I wish I was able to give you both a proper goodbye instead of writing a letter. For what it's worth, I kept the paper ring that In-ho gave me so I couldn't forget our friendship."
Jun-ho furrowed his eyebrows as if to think, then let out a sigh of relief. "So, that's what hyung has been saying..." You raised an eyebrow in confusion and he continued, "Hyung mentioned something about a paper ring. When we got your letter, he immediately ran out to your apartment in an attempt to at least find you. Too bad you already left. He was crying, noona."
You thinned your lips, imagining how In-ho must've felt when you left. You didn't think that you made such a big impact to In-ho as much as he did on you. The feeling has been mutual, and you couldn't quite believe that the feelings you had over the years were real. All this time, you thought it has all been one-sided.
"For some reason, he always requested to have daises in our house," Jun-ho continued. "I couldn't figure it out then. I asked eomma about it, and she said that hyung was experiencing his first heartbreak." He shook his head, chuckling as he did so. You listened intently as you feel butterflies fly around your stomach. "Eomma told him that if the time is right, he would see you again."
"I guess I have to work harder on finding him, hmm?" You said as you looked out the window. "I wonder how he met his wife. I'm sure she seemed lovely."
"No need to be jealous, noona," Jun-ho chuckled, earning an eye roll from you. "But it's true, she was lovely. In fact, she was a lot like you. You would've loved her."
You smiled, thinking how In-ho probably felt happy when he found someone for him. Though it's bittersweet how his wife passed, along with their unborn child. You hoped that in any way, In-ho was still doing fine. You wished for him to find the happiness he deserves, may it be not here in Seoul.
"Do you have any leads where In-ho is?" You asked Jun-ho, who seemed to flinch at your question. You shot him a confused look as he stared into space, but then he shook his head as if shaking away his thoughts.
"No," his lips twitched. If there was anything that you didn't forget over the years is how much of a bad liar the brothers were. You looked away, silence rushing between you and Jun-ho. There was something going on, but as you observed Jun-ho's eyes, guilt was evident right there and then. When you opened your mouth to say something, Jun-ho turned his eyes to your suitcase. "Noona, I can help you settle at home. Would you like that?" He excitedly grabs it and positions it next to him instead.
You grinned as you finished your ramen, quickly damping your mouth with a tissue as you finished. "Of course, Jun-ho. Let's go."
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A/N: And finally, here it is! This is my first time writing a series on Tumblr. I'm planning on publishing this to AO3 as well as I see a lot (like really, A LOT) of In-ho fanfics, I couldn't miss out on it! I've written fanfics on Wattpad before on different fandoms so this isn't all new to me. Still, I hope you guys enjoy my writing! Feel free to leave out your thoughts and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. đ«¶
Don't forget to leave a comment in this chapter to be tagged on to the next chapter. :)
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Summary: After the Red Light, Green Light game, the players vote to continue or leave the games with their own shares. In-ho votes for X this time, and the players are all sent home. Gi-hun goes back to the outside world and finds In-ho in a convenience store, but he knows him as Young-il.
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The warehouse reeked of stale sweat and blood as the players crowded into the middle, awaiting their turn to vote to continue or leave the games. The voting box was placed at the center of the room, ready for everyone to decide their life.
The red and blue buttons blinked softly on its surface like a heartbeat, waiting. For some, it was hope. For others, it was a cruel tease of a chance to escape.Â
Gi-hunâs hands trembled as the last player, 001, took their turn. The vote had been close â shockingly so. The players were divided to Xs and Os, who had been nearly neck-and-neck after the Red Light, Green Light game bled the truth into their bones.
91 people died in less than five minutes into the game. There was no sugar-coating on such a bloody and violent scene. The gunshots still echoed behind their eyes.
Player 001 seemed to think first before pressing one of the buttons, adding to the tension. Gi-hun whispered under his breath as if he cheered for 001 to vote for X, so all of them could go home, and everyone could still have a chance to be saved.Â
Or was it?
Was it really because he wanted everyone to be saved, or just to prove to the system that there is still something good in humanity?
Then, a click.
The computer above showed the score of votes, seeing a close call.Â
X - 183, O - 182
A crowd of cheer erupted inside the warehouse, only to be interrupted by the lights being shut off, then a hiss of air followed. Gi-hunâs vision blurred, his heart pounded as he struggled to stay upright, but the weight of exhaustion and chloroform dragged him into darkness.Â
ââ
Gi-hun awoke to the sting of cold pavement scraping his cheek.
Rain drizzled softly on the city street as Gi-hun groaned and pushed himself onto his hands and knees. The vanâs taillights disappeared into the night, and the alley it had dumped him into was as empty as it was unfamiliar. He was back in Seoul, just like last time.
He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and froze, only to find a small, rectangular shape sitting in his palm, wrapped in plastic. It was a cassette tape, seemingly new, with three shapes on it - triangle, circle, and square. His pulse kicked into high gear as he looked around, but no one was in sight. Just the eerie hum of a city that truly never slept.
Gi-hun pulled the tape closer and saw a faint marking on the side, written in black ink.
â456.â
Gi-hunâs breath clouded in the cool air as he stood outside the nondescript apartment door, knuckles poised mid-air. The city buzzed below like it always had. But in his chest, something old had awakened. The tape sat like lead in his jacket pocket.
The door creaked open before he could knock, seeing Jun-ho staring back at him, who seemed scruffy, leaner, and shadows carved beneath his eyes.
âGi-hun,â Jun-ho said, his eyes with a hint of question as he looked at him. âYouâre back. How?â
Gi-hun stepped in without asking, pulling the cassette from his jacket and showing it to Jun-ho. He immediately closed the door as Gi-hun placed the cassette on the kitchen table like a loaded gun.
Jun-ho narrowed his eyes. âWhat is that?â
âA message from the inside,â Gi-hunâs voice was low and hoarse. âThereâs something else. They took out the tracker.â
Jun-ho blinked. âWhat?â
âIn my tooth. Itâs gone. Someone knew it was there. They knew it from the from start,â Gi-hunâs hands trembled as he rubbed at his jaw.
A long silence followed, broken only by the soft click of Jun-ho inserting the cassette into an old player and hitting play. The tape hissed before starting, then came a voice.
âI must admit, watching you squirm has been⊠entertaining.â
A soft static crackles.
âGi-hun, you shouldâve taken your prize and disappeared. But I suppose youâve never known when to walk away to try and be a hero.â
A pause came, then a faint sound that seemed like footsteps or breathing.Â
âYou thought you were clever. Hiding a tracker in a tooth? Cute. But Iâve been watching longer than youâve been planning.â
The voice lowers, almost a whisper now. A sharp breath caught in Gi-hunâs throat.
âYou shouldâve stayed gone, Seong Gi-hun. You want to expose us? Tear everything down? Fine. But know this: while you waste time chasing shadows, weâve already found her.â
Jun-hoâs head snapped toward Gi-hun.
âShe looks so much like her mother.â
Gi-hun surged forward and slammed a fist on the table. âYou son of aââ
The player stopped as Gi-hun was shaking now, clenching his teeth, curling his fists until they turned white. âHe knows about Ga-yeong. Heâs threatening my daughter.â
Jun-hoâs mouth opened, then shut. Something passed behind his eyes, something along the lines of guilt, recognition, or restraint. The cassette whirred softly behind them, tape still spooling, like a ticking clock counting down to something neither of them could stop.
The day when the line between brother and monster would no longer be a line, but a fog â bleeding through every breath he took, every step he retraced. But knowing that the voice belonged to his brother, crackling through the cassette player, was like being buried alive in guilt all over again.Â
He hadnât slept much since returning from searching around the islands. Sleep came in bursts, always haunted by the rhythmic thud of bodies hitting the ground, the clicking of guns disguised as toys.Â
And his brotherâs face. Always, his brotherâs face.
But Gi-hunâs reaction had shaken something loose in him. That rage and fear. It wasnât just about revenge anymore. Now, it was personal for him too. They crossed a line.
Jun-ho watched Gi-hun pace the room like a cornered animal. He knew that look. He had seen it in the mirror for years.
What if Jun-ho had pulled the trigger first? What if he didnât hesitate back then, on the cliffâŠ?
Jun-ho swallowed hard, his voice hollow as he broke the silence. âThereâs a chance itâs a bluff.â
Gi-hun rounded on him. âWould you bet your daughterâs life on that?â
Jun-ho didnât answer. In fact, he couldnât. Because deep down, he knew In-ho never bluffed.
Jun-ho walked into the bathroom, shut the door behind him, and leaned heavily on the sink. In the mirror, his reflection stared back with eyes that didnât belong to the cop who once believed in justice. They were the eyes of someone who knew too much â who lived too long in the underworld without dying.Â
He couldnât tell Gi-hun the truth â how he knew it was his brother whoâs been running the games along and was a player. Because he knew that if he did, Gi-hun would run into hell blind.
ââ
The rain pattered against the glass as Gi-hun sat at the tiny plastic table near the window, slurping instant ramen like it was the first meal he had in days. In truth, it probably was. He stared into the broth as if it could answer the questions clawing at his brain.
The bell above the door jingled softly. Gi-hun barely glanced up, until he heard a voice.
âMind if I sit?â
Gi-hun looked up, almost startled. A man stood across from him, casual in posture but sharp in the eyes. He wore a weathered jacket, sleeves slightly too long, and a disarming smile on his face.
âI saw you from the inside,â the man added. âThought you looked familiar.â
Gi-hun blinked. âHave we met?â
The man nodded. âBriefly, I think. In the games.â
Gi-hun studied his face, but nothing rang a bell. Still, something about the man was unsettlingly calm.Â
âYou played?â Gi-hun asked.
The man took the seat across from him, folding his hands. âFirst game was Red Light, Green Light. It was total chaos. I tapped out early.â He took the seat across from Gi-hun. âOh, and Iâm Young-il, by the way.â
Gi-hun nodded. âGi-hun.â
Young-ilâs eyes lit up with interest. âSo, Itâs true then. Youâre the winner from the last game.â
Gi-hun didnât answer right away, but the manâs gaze was unwavering, so he shrugged. âYeah, if you could call it that. I spent months trying to figure out how to stop it. Now Iâm working with someone⊠trying to take it down.â
Young-ilâs lips curled slightly. âIs that so?â
Gi-hun frowned, which seemed to make Young-il chuckle, much to his surprise. He leaned back in his seat, lifting both hands in mock surrender.
âSorry, Iâm not here to cause trouble. Just⊠I guess I needed someone to talk to. My wifeâs in the hospital.â
Gi-hun's suspicion softened slightly. âOh?â
Young-il nodded, eyes lowering. âSheâs seven months pregnant. Liver cirrhosis. Doctors say she might not survive the birth,â Young-il paused, then continued. âWe needed the money. Thatâs why I signed up. But I didnât make it past the first night. Coward, right?â
Gi-hun shook his head. âNo one who left that place is a coward.â
Young-ilâs smile returned, faint and thoughtful. âThanks.â
The silence that followed felt heavier than before. Then, Young-il pulled something from his pocket, which seemed to be a small, crisp invitation card, just like the ones given before the games.
âThereâs a new date, and I got two cards. I donât know why they gave me two.â
He slid one across the table to Gi-hun, who looked down at it, his heart thudding.Â
âI think they want us back,â Young-il said, his voice quieter now. âMaybe itâs a second chance. Or maybe something else.â
Gi-hun pocketed the card slowly. âWhy give me yours?â
Young-il shrugged. âI donât know, maybe you might want to think about it? Iâm not really sure. But given what youâve told me, maybe this could be your way in to⊠tear everything down.â
Gi-hunâs hand hovered in the air for a moment before he took the card and looked it over. It had the same symbols and format, like dĂ©jĂ vu written in ink.Â
The date was five days from now.Â
Young-il smiled faintly, rain dripping from his lashes. âThe games might be full of traps, but after seeing my wife again, I definitely need the money.â
Young-il turned, ready to walk away when Gi-hun called after him. âWait! What are you planning to do? Are you going back in again?â
Young-il glanced over his shoulder, the words leaving his mouth left Gi-hun in pure shock.
âSome of us never left.â
----
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Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - Character Artworks
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ââ
He had seen it coming. Hell, he was in charge of everything.
That final game. The one that had changed everything. The one that had you in it.
The air had been suffocating inside the control room, thick with the metallic scent of blood, with the weight of choices that had been made long before the game had even begun.
In-ho remembered how you looked on the TV from the last season of the games, your body barely keeping itself upright during the Red Light, Green Light game. Your eyes were sharper than ever, burning and filled with something that he had never quite seen before.
The way you had looked at him in the limousine at that moment haunted him still.Â
And then, despite the rebellion, there had been a winner. Deserving, as In-ho thought.Â
But the man who had risen from the bloodshed, broken, and victorious should have left. But he didnât.
Instead, a new role had been placed upon him. Not by choice, but by design.
In-ho had watched as the mask was placed over his face, the weight of it settling onto his shoulders like a sentence, as if an inevitability. He had worn that mask once.Â
But not anymore.
Not after he had been called into that silent, suffocating room where the men in gilded masks sat in the shadows, waiting for him.Â
The Overseer. A title heavier than the one before it.
A role he hadnât asked for â one that had been forced upon him the same way he had forced the mask onto the new Front Man. The games had changed, and so had its players.Â
A knock echoed through the dimly lit room. In-ho turned, his gloved hands resting idly behind his back as the door opened. The knockerâs footsteps were slow and deliberate. Then, a silence came in.
A presence stood across from him, face obscured beneath the black mask that had once belonged to him. For a moment, neither spoke. Then, in the quiet, In-ho exhaled.
âHow does it feel?â In-ho asked, his voice smooth but unreadable.
The figure didnât answer right away. When he did, his voice was different than before â colder, stripped of anything human.
âIt doesnât matter how it feels.â
In-ho allowed himself the faintest ghost of a smirk beneath his own mask. âGood.â
Then, without another word, he turned away.Â
The city hadnât changed. The streets pulsed with life as if the world had never stopped turning, as if nothing had fractured beneath its surface. The skyline still burned with city lights stretching beyond the horizon. People walked from one place to another, drowning in their own worlds, oblivious to the monsters that lurked beneath their feet.
But for In-ho, the world had never felt more empty.
Six months had passed since that night â since he found the blood on his counter and the microchip abandoned beside it. Six months since you had vanished without a trace, disappearing into the shadows as if you had never existed.Â
It had been six months since he had lost you. And yet, he refused to let go.
He searched everywhere. Every street, every darkened alley, every lead that turned to dust beneath his fingertips. But no matter how far he looked, how many resources he pulled from the depths of his influence, you were nowhere to be found. He scoured the underground, digging into places so deep that even the organization had turned wary of his movements. The weight of the mask no longer felt heavy on his face, but without you, it no longer felt like it belonged.
The realization had settled in his bones like a sickness â an aching, gnawing thing that refused to let go. And yet, he couldnât stop.
Every week, without fail, he visited your apartment. It was muscle memory now, the way his hand would rest against the doorframe, the way his breath would still in his chest as he listened for any sign of movement beyond the door. But there was nothing.
Always nothing.
There was no warmth inside. No trace of your presence.
You left your key there, but he never once thought of taking it. He never stepped inside, not even once. Because if he did â if he walked into that empty space and saw the dust gathering on surfaces you should have touched, saw the absence of you woven into the very walls â he wasnât sure if he could keep moving forward.
So instead, he stood there. Every end of the week, in the dead of night, standing like a ghost outside a home that no longer belonged to anyone.
Waiting.
Hoping.
Knowing, deep down, that you werenât coming back.
ââ
The news reached him in whispers.Â
In-ho went back to his other apartment, the one that no one ever knew â only him. The apartment he went home to after every season of the games. However this time, he was searching for you again, locked in on every file. For the first time in months, something inside In-ho shifted.
A body had been found at an abandoned dockyard. A clean execution â one bullet to the head. No struggle, no trace left behind except the corpse of the man who had once been responsible for finding desperate souls for the games.Â
The organization had been careful. This was no ordinary attack. Whoever had done this had known exactly what they were doing. It wasnât just a loss of a valuable asset to the operation. It wasnât just the unsettling fact that someone had gotten close enough to take him out without raising any alarms.
You were still out there. And now, you werenât just running. You were fighting back.
A slow exhale left his lips as he set the report down. His fingers tightened slightly around the edges of the paper, though his face remained unreadable.
The world had indeed changed in the past six months.
In-hoâs feet moved before his mind worked, entering his car as his fingers curled around the steering wheel, knuckles white from the pressure. The rain drummed softly against the window of his car as he drove towards your apartment. There, he parked outside. Although he had no reason to be there, but he couldnât help himself.
Another week. Another night. Another moment was spent staring at the door that would never open.
The rain blurred the city beyond the windshield, distorting the world in streaks of color. And for a moment, he let himself remember your voice, your smile. The warmth of your presence beside him.
But then, as his gaze drifted toward your apartment building, something gnawed at the edges of his mind. A feeling â one he had long learned not to ignore. The environment carried a charge, something almost electric, almost alive. It wasnât obvious at first, not to someone who wasnât looking for it.
Something was wrong.
Without thinking, he stepped out of the car, the cold rain soaking through his coat almost instantly. His heart pounded as he took the stairs two at a time, reaching your door before he could convince himself otherwise.
Then, he froze. The door was slightly ajar. His pulse quickened, a sharp contrast to his otherwise calm exterior. His breath caught in his throat. Slowly, he pushed the door open, the hinges creaking in protest. And then, his stomach dropped.
The apartment was empty. Not just in the way it always had been â but stripped bare, as if someone had come and erased every last trace of you from existence. The bed was untouched. The air smelled stale. His eyes scanned the space, taking in every detail. Although the furniture was the same, something about its arrangement felt off. As if someone had touched it, moved it, sat on it.
His gaze trailed along the room until it landed on the small table near the window. And then, he saw it.
Your letter.
The envelope was simple. There were no markings, no embellishments. Just his name scrawled in familiar handwriting.
Your handwriting.
His fingers tightened around the edges as he picked it up, his throat constricting. He exhaled, steadying himself before he slipped a gloved finger beneath the seal, carefully unfolding the paper within.Â
Your scent still lingered on it.
His eyes moved over the words, absorbing them, dissecting every sentence, every choice of phrasing, every hidden meaning between the lines.
I wonder how long it took you to realize I was close. Or if you came here just to mourn the ghost of me, the one you left behind. I wonder if youâve spent your nights lying awake, picturing my face in the crowd, searching for a glimpse of me in every shadow.
But I already know the answer, donât I?
Youâve been looking for me. I know, because Iâve been watching you, too.
Do you understand what you did to me, In-ho? It wasnât just the bullet â it was the choice. It was the cold look in your eyes, the way you pulled the trigger as if my life was nothing more than a means to an end. I wasnât just another player in your game. I wasnât someone you could sacrifice for the sake of your throne.
You betrayed me.
And yet, I still think about you. Thatâs the cruelest part of all.Â
Even after everything, I still remember the way you used to look at me. I still remember your hands, the warmth of your touch before you became someone I could no longer reach. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for every moment I miss you.
But I wonât let that stop me from what I have to do. The recruiters are still out there, hunting for the desperate and the broken. And I see them. I watch them from the shadows. Iâve followed them down the streets, through the alleys, watching as they hand out those cursed cards. And every time I find one, I promise myself I will end them.
I wonder, In-ho⊠will you stop me? Will you try?
Or will you let me disappear into the abyss you threw me into?
You know where to find me. If youâre willing to look hard enough.
By the time In-ho finished reading, his hands had curled so tightly around the letter that the edges crumpled beneath his fingers. A slow exhale left his lips, his shoulders stiff, his mind a storm of emotions too tangled to unravel.
You were near. You knew he was looking for you. And now, you had given him a choice: let you vanish into the darkness or chase after you.
The corner of his lips twitched, a ghost of something almost like amusement, but there was no warmth in it.
You wanted a challenge? You would get one.
Because no matter how far you ran, no matter how well you hid, In-ho wasnât going to stop. He had already lost you once.
And he wasnât going to lose you again.Â
ââ
The alley was silent. The kind of silence that only came after death.
Even in the middle of Seoul, where the streets never truly slept, there were places like this â forgotten corners between looming buildings, spaces where the cityâs neon glow didnât quite reach. Places where death could slip by unnoticed.
The recruiterâs body slumped against the cold brick wall, his final breath long stolen from his lungs. Blood seeped into the cracks of the pavement, dark and glistening under the faint streetlight overhead. The warmth of it clung to your hands, soaked into the creases of your knuckles, staining your sleeves.
The knife was still in your grip, trembling slightly as the adrenaline burned through you.
Another one down. Another recruiter gone.
Your pulse pounded, loud in your ears, drowning out the distant sounds of the city. This was what you had become. You had made your choice the night you left.Â
You promised yourself that if you couldnât stop the games, you would stop those who fed it. And yet, as you stood there, staring at the life you had just taken, a part of you wondered if this was really justice.
Or if it was revenge.Â
Your breath came uneven as you wiped the blade clean against the recruiterâs coat before slipping it back into your pocket. The blood on your hands had already begun to dry, leaving a tacky feeling against your skin. The weight of it pressed against your chest.
You had to move.
With one last glance at the lifeless body, you turned, slipping into the shadows, disappearing before anyone could find you.
You had never been much of a smoker before, but now, it was a habit you had picked up in the quiet moments between the killings, in the stolen hours of the night when the world slowed just enough for your thoughts to catch up.
The flame flickered as you brought it to the tip, the ember glowing faintly before you took a slow drag, letting the smoke fill your lungs. It burned, just for a second, before settling into something familiar, something grounding. Your mind wandered before you could stop it.
In-ho.
The man who had once been your everything before he became the one thing you could never forgive.
Six months since you had disappeared into the cracks of the city. Since you had left behind the world that had nearly swallowed you whole. Since you had walked away from him.
And yet, he hadnât walked away from you.
Youâve seen him. Every week. Every damn week, without fail.
Standing just across the street from your apartment building, half-hidden in the shadows, his hands in the pockets of his coat, his gaze lingering on the shadows as if you could step out onto the balcony. He would stand there for hours, unmoving, just watching.Â
And then, just before the sky began to lighten before the world stirred awake, he would disappear like a ghost. Like a man who didnât know how to let go.
You had never let him see you, never once stepped out of the safety of your hiding place. But you had thought about it.
God, you had thought about it.
There were nights when you had stood by the window, fingers curled around the curtain, watching him through the sliver of space between the fabric. Careful enough not to make any movement around your apartment, for him to think that you never came back there. Nights when you had imagined walking down those steps, crossing that street, standing in front of him, and asking him why.
Why he had done this.Â
Why he had betrayed you.
Why he still looked at you like you were something worth waiting for.
And worse, there were nights when you had almost considered it.Â
Almost considered going back.
Almost considered accepting his offer.
Because for all the blood on his hands, for all the lives he had stolen, there had been a time where he had been yours. And a part of you, no matter how much you hated it, still wanted to believe that be again.Â
But then, the memories would come back. The pain. The betrayal.Â
The weight of his gun against your body, the sharp crack of the bullet tearing through you. The way he had looked at you afterward. Not with regret, not with hesitation, but with cold, calculated detachment. Like you had never meant anything at all.
You exhaled, watching the tendrils of smoke curl toward the ceiling before vanishing into nothing. As you stood there in the dim light of the convenience store, with the taste of nicotine on your tongue and the weight of another life on your conscience, you couldnât shake the feeling that no matter how far you ran, no matter how many recruiters you took down, he would always find a way back to you.
The gas station flickered ahead, neon signs buzzing faintly against the dark sky. It sat on the edge of the city, just far enough from the main streets that it felt detached from the world. A temporary sanctuary.
You pushed open the door to the restroom, locking it behind you. The fluorescent lights overhead buzzed, casting a sickly glow over the cracked mirror. And then, for the first time in hours, you saw yourself, barely recognizing what you had become.
Your reflection stared back at you, hollow-eyed and exhausted. Slowly, you turned on the faucet, watching as the water sputtered out, filling the sink.
Your fingers shook as you scrubbed. The blood smeared at first, painting your skin deeper shades of red before finally fading down the drain. But even as your hands became clean, the weight in your chest did not lift.
You gripped the edges of the sink, head lowering, and your breath shaky. You had been killing them one by one.Â
You exhaled sharply, blinking back the exhaustion threatening to consume you. There was no time to dwell on it. Not now.
Pulling your coat tighter around yourself, you pushed open the restroom door and stepped into the dimly lit convenience store.Â
The bell above the convenience store door chimed as you stepped inside, the harsh fluorescent lights making you squint after spending too much time lurking in the shadows. The scent of cheap instant ramen and cleeaning detergent filled the air, clashing with the lingering smoke of your cigarette, which you quickly stubbed out against the trash bin by the entrance.
You barely spared a glance at the other customers. Just another late-night stop for the cityâs restleses â people either coming from work or trying to escape something. The latter fit you right in.
But then, you saw her.
Jun-hee.
Your breath hitched.
She was standing in front of the fridge, reaching for a bottle of water, completely unaware of your presence. For a moment, your mind refused to believe it was real. But she was here, standing right in front of you when, by all accounts, she should have been dead.
Just like you.
Her hair was longer than you remembered, tied back in a loose ponytail, and she wore a thick coat that did little to hide the exhaustion in her posture. But it wasnât her disheveled appearance that caught your attention.
It was the baby in her arms. Small, bundled up in soft, pale yellow fabric.
Yours and Jun-heeâs eyes met in the reflection of the fridge door. She froze, the bottle slipped from her fingers and hit the floor with a dull thud.
âNoâŠâ Her voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with disbelief. âYou⊠Youâre dead.â
The words sent a chill down your spine. You could have laughed if the moment wasnât so suffocating. You had to get out.
You schooled your features, masking the sudden rise of panic clawing at your ribs. âIâm sorry, you must have the wrong person.â
Her eyes widened, a million emotions flashing through them. âNo, no. Itâs you. Itâs really you. Howâ?â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you cut her off, voice steady but firm. You turned sharply on your heel and strode toward the door, the familiar itch of danger creeping up your spine.Â
You shoved the door open and stepped back into the cold air, swallowing down the panic rising in your throat. Your fingers twitched at your sides, muscles tensing as you forced yourself to keep walking, to not turn back, to not run.
Jun-hee won.
She was the winner of the last game. The realization settled like a heavy strone in your gut. She had survived. She had gone through the same nightmare, played the same deadly games, watched people die, and somehow, she had come out alive.
And she had a baby now.
Your mind ran circles around the thought, but you didnât have time to dwell on it. She had seen you. That was all that mattered. You needed to disappear again and let the city swallow you whole, let the neon lights blur in your peripheral vision, let the sounds of traffic and distant voices drown out your thoughts.
By the time you realized where you were, you were standing in front of a bar. It was dimly lit, old, with a neon sign flickering above the entrance, half the letters burnt out. It was the perfect place to sink into oblivion.Â
The door creaked as you pushed it open, the scent of liquor, sweat, and stale cigarette smoke hit you instantly, familiar and suffocating all at once. A few patrons lingered at the tables, hunched over drinks, lost in their own troubles. The bartender barely spared you a glance as you slid into a seat at the counter.
Your hands were still shaking, realizing that Jun-hee had seen you.Â
You drank the night away, the coldness of the liquor etching your throat as it burned, but you didnât care. You needed to be wasted.
ââ
A/N: So far, I've been liking the thought of In-ho and Y/N writing letters for each other đ€ What did you think of Jun-hee becoming the winner of the games? Do you have any theories in mind for the next season of Squid Game? Let's discuss about it! Feel free to leave out your thoughts here, and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. đ«¶
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SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACKâą
â*After being in a wheel chair for the entire game Frank stands up, everyone looks at him surprised* âOh that? Nah, Iâm just f**kinâ lazyââ
â Black Ops 2: Frank Woods
âEven if I have to sacrifice everythingâ.
i miss the person i was before squid game
âWe try to honor their deeds, even as their faces fade from our memory.â