Welp I Forgot I Fucking Rebloged Some Of My Old Stuff From My Old Art Account So Nevermind But STILL

My Skyrim character whom I adore everyone, yes she is perfect I know you don’t need to say. Well SHE is the artwork could be better

Anyway I tried to do a ‘landscape’ esque picture and while the coloring could be better I am proud of the fact that I sat down and did it so there ya go

Anyway she has a lot of different names so i just call her Prisoner, this is her in her early adventuring days

So yeah :)

So, Unus and Annus are reaching the last hour of existence, and they said that if we want, we could write our last words to them and our aspirations, and.... I wanna do it

I'm taking this stupidly seriously but this, this channel became important to me, it made me expand my thoughts on what I thought death was to me and what my life is to me

But here we go

I haven't been here for the beginning, I didnt watch every video and I never bought merch, but regardless this channel and these videos worked there way into my thoughts, and this livestream made me stupid sentimental. My internet currently is shitting itself and I might not see the end properly, but that's ok.

Death to me, is the end

That's it, I dont know if there is an after and I dont care, I dont fear the emotions and pain I might feel facing my demise but I do fear one thing. I fear of what my death will do to the world i leave behind.

Will it change? Will it mourn? Will it rejoice??? Or will absolutely nothing happen, and time keeps moving forward as it does. More importantly however, how would the people I love remember me? After death I will be gone and over, there wont be anything left of me besides the legacy I have left and the memory people hold of me, so I cant help but think of the only thing I CAN think of involving my demise. But this is egotistical of me is it not? Death is normal, and I am not special for thinking this way, I am going to die and so will you guys. But in all honesty I cannot think of any other way to perceive my death, I cannot for the life of me think of anything else to say about it.

That's also ok, I'm alive

I'll never understand my death as long as I live.

But I obsess so much, about what will happen after I die, but I try not to think about what will happen as I continue to live.

I am young, and I am childish, I am naive and I am hopeful.

I only really truly desire one thing in my life more than anything, even if it may change over time.

I want to make a story I love, and characters whom can share my thoughts and feelings, in their own unique experiences, and become their own people from them as well. I want to create art that would do them justice and I want to love it so, so, so much

I know I dont draw as much as want, I should not force myself to per say, but I find it difficult to find motive to.

At this moment that is my only goal in my life, I just want to love what I create

I will one day

Even if I may die before I create such a story, I will love my art, I do love it now

I love it because I CREATED it

I made it, I birthed something simply because I wanted to, because its fun

And I really, really wish I could see that everyday.

But I do not, and that's ok, that's ok

Its ok

This channel taught me to, learn what it is that I value about my life and my death, and because I overthink MANY things this was not always a good thing lol

It will die soon, and that's ok

But that does not mean I will not feel, grief

No matter how much or little that grief may be.

So what shall I do? When it does? When it dies 20 minutes from now as I'm writing this?

Well I'll cry

I'll cry, and cry and cry

Because it is what I can do

.

I don't know what my life will be like, I cant find the words to describe what I think of it as, as of writing this at least.

But

But I

I want to live

I AM living

I AM ALIVE

and I'm so glad that I am, I used to think living was a burden, I used to hate that fact

But I'm still here, I'm still breathing and I'm so

I'm so relieved, that I chose to stay alive.

And I hope that those who are reading this feel that too, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.

Soon.

Because it is, such an amazing thing to be here, with you, and with my family and friends, and with strangers I'll never meet

..

This has gone in a while

This is clearly important to me so I wanted to be transparent in my feelings. I dont know how u all will react to this and I dont know if you will care.

But that's okay, you dont need to take anything from this.

Well

Except for one thing.

Momento Mori, Remember Death

Remember Life

Unus Annus

Thank you so much for reading my rambles about my existence, thank you so much

I'm glad you are alive reading this as well

I'm glad we exist :)

if u receive this u make somebody happy. go and send this to ten of ur followers who make u happy or somebody u think needs cheering up. if u get it back even better. <3

I might open commissions!

I'll need to set some stuff up first but if yall are interested I would be willing to sell some art to you! I'll list some things I'd be willing to draw as of right now in this post, so please PLEASE let me know if this is a idea u all like as well.

And just to let you know what i would be using the money for since I want to buy a specific item, I'm gonna try and accumulate some money to buy a computer that can run games, a very specific game, a game called baldur's gate 3, because the computer i have ran it on its lowest settings and it was still unplayable,

It was funny but also sucked and because I'm desperate to play this game here we are.

Anyway heres what I'd be willing to do

Character Art

Group Character Art

Concept Art (like maybe help ya figure out what u want ur oc to look like that kinda thing but I am in no means a professional)

Sketches

Flat Colors

Detailed colors

Please look through my blog if my artstyle is what ur looking for, though I change little details about my artstyle daily so in the post where I confirm whether or not I'll be able to take commissions I'll put up some recent stuff and boundaries on what I will specifically draw and not draw

Soooo yeah, feedback on this would be much appreciated :)

Ok, getting back to drawing again (again) I redesigned my Mordred from @llamagirl28’s IF Bastard of Camelot

Honestly I’d talk about it more but I’ve been drawing nonstop for a few hours now and I’m fucking tired lol, mainly because I’ve been doodling a bunch of stuff with Mordred and the ROs from BoC, except Sofia cuz I just fucking gave up after Isac lol

Which btw is right here

OKAY HERES A DRAWING WITH EFFORT

wanted to get better at coloring and lineart so used Ann to help me

Shes freaking awesome uwu

We were here, and while I dont remember when I came here, that does not negate the moments I had the blessing of sharing with Mark and Ethen, and all of you!

Thank you for existing with me, thank you for sharing your final moments together with us.

Momento Mori, Remember Death

Unus Annus

Decided to draw the current @lemonade-if MCs that have references (Picrew or actual drawings) hanging out/walking to school! Cus the MCs for this are so cool and wholesome and I wanna hug all of them ;w;

The MCs from left to right and what they’re doing

(@rkgk-arts) Kotone Hisakawa rambling to Lexis R. Marinos (Mine) about cats

(@nissarose3) Rei Yamada and (@little-leech-boy) Kaoru Tachibana exchanging insults

and finally, (@lorelaibeckons) Sonya Paige and Francesca D’Amore talking about pastries and sweet stuff

Sorry fuyuhiko I just remembered Joseph Joestar existed 😔

Rip a short king lol

I made a kin list CUZ IM COOL

(And bored)

BUT MAINLY COOL

ok but like what if i did this

please be a dear and leave a comment lol