SJSNSNSJSNSNZ PLEASE THIS WAS AMAZING 😫😫😫😫

SJSNSNSJSNSNZ PLEASE THIS WAS AMAZING 😫😫😫😫

The L crying thing....... please we need a s/o comforting him after that thing

It's a very rare occurrence. Even as a child, he processed emotions internally, and doesn't require any external output on the majority of occasions. He'll simply process the feeling, analyse it until it doesn't hurt, put it in a box and move on. Simple.

Eh, kind of. Not really. He's human and humans occasionally need to shed tears. It would be ridiculous to think otherwise. Still, he has always been alone for those rare and painfully brief moments. There's no reason for him to share that side with anyone, if anything he views it as a side effect of being human. He doesn't like it.

Your introduction into his life may have opened a vein in his capacity for feeling emotion, but don't be fooled, he's still a very reserved and very guarded individual. It is expected that you will never see him cry.

But, in a poorly scheduled moment of weakness, he can't help it.

It was late, as are most meaningful interactions with him. You were in bed drifting in and out of sleep to the sounds of typing from the other room. You eventually completely fall out of consciousness, only to be awoken to complete silence.

You blinked the sleep out of your eyes before propped yourself up on an elbow and facing the doorway. There, silhouetted against a dim, white light, stood your partner. Still as a statue. He was never necessarily an energetic person, but his stillness was different. His posture made worry sink into your stomach.

"L?" you say, before swallowing the tired from your voice. "Is something wrong?"

He doesn't say anything, but he crosses over to the bed. The weight shifts as he crawls onto the edge, before making his way on top of you. For a brief moment, you think it is going a very different direction, but that is before he takes you into his arms, almost harshly, and burying his face in your sternum. He squeezes you very tightly.

"L?" You ask again, already moving to wrap one arm around his torso and another to cradle his head against you chest. You've never seen his do this before, but you still accept the affection nonetheless. Before you feel the trembling.

He's trembling. There's a shake in his breath you haven't heard before. Then you feel the wetness on your shirt.

He's crying.

You're so shocked that you freeze up for a few moments. You look out at the darkened room with your mouth open at the strangeness of it all. You have never, ever, in a million years thought he would be crying in your arms. Even less in such a panicked and fearful state. You always imagined the most he would ever do is tear up before finding something distracting, and even then that was just a hypothesis. You press your cheek into the top of his head, beginning to curl your fingers through his messy hair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles into your chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-" he takes a steadying breath inward and pulls his arms tighter around you, and mutters your name. You stroke his hair. "It's alright," you whisper and his fingers press garaging into your back. "There's no reason to apologise, you're perfect. You're completely fine. It's okay."

He takes deep breaths, as if attempting to rid himself of the tremor, before he begins to steady himself and go still. You continue to pet his head in the silence, occasionally pressing gentle kisses against his temple or scalp. The only sound in the room is breath and the air conditioner.

Eventually, he takes a sharp inhale before removing his head from its spot. "I'm sorry," he says monotonously. "That must have been... unexpected. I didn't intend to wake you."

"It's okay," you tuck a jet black strand behind his ear. "Do you... do you need to talk? Or... something? Want Watari to bring us some cake?"

"No," he answers slowly. "No- well, yes, cake would be nice, but no I don't want to talk. I'm sorry."

"You gotta stop apologising," you smile. "You're good, right? Everything's okay?"

"Yes, everything's fine." L lays his cheek against your sternum, moving his thumb to his bottom lip, while keeping one arm tightly around your waist. "May I stay here for a few moments?"

"You can stay here as long as you like," you say before reaching for your phone. "But I'm getting us cake. "

Watari! Are you awake?

Yes, I am. Do you need something?

L's really upset, idk what's happened, but I thought some cake would help? Strawberry, maybe?

Hm, interesting. I'll be up in half an hour.

Should I be worried? Is there anything you know that could help?

I don't particularly know what is going on, but I know that anything you do for him will be much better than any advice I could ever give. He trusts you. I will be up soon.

You set your phone down with a thump and turn to look at the man in your arms. He wasn't sleeping, no, he was staring at the opposite wall with an intensity in those dark eyes. You may never know what million things he is thinking about at once, but you do know it's too much most days. You rub his head.

"I love you," you say after while. The words aren't exchanged between the two of you a lot, in L's words, the mixture of emotions and speech are a fickle thing, and many times people say words in the moment that they don't truly mean. But, you mean it in this moment.

"And I, you." he purrs into your chest, and you stroke his hair, leaning your head back to look at the ceiling. You wish he would tell you what's wrong, but there's a part of you that believes he can't even put it into words. His brain moves so fast, maybe he can't slow down enough to sift his feelings into a neatly packaged wording.

He looks up at you with eyes as wide as saucers. "Thank you." He responds, before letting his gaze fall again to his fixed watching point on the wall. Your heart turns as you realise he will most likely never tell you what upset him. But, your mind argues, he trusts you enough to seek you out. He trusts you enough to be vulnerable in your arms. That speaks volumes in its own.