Tbblobnoern Tuesday

It’s past midnight. Perfect time for nightmares.

Music: Out of the Darkness -Matthew And The Atlas 

Inspiration:

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JOE KEERY — photograped for Newburyport Magazine (2019)

pov: you’re sitting in bed and your boyfriend attacks you with an eyeliner pencil

i love soulmate aus. so, imagine that the universe has some way of showing you who your soulmate is, but no one is ever 100% sure because it depends on the pair. some people have the first or final words said to them somewhere on their body, other can see what their soulmates write on their bodies and others only see in black and white until they lock eyes with their fated other half, which is when they start seeing in color. some people have their soulmate's name or initials on their wrists and other have a spot of color on their bodies, which is where their soulmate will touch them for the first time.

steve had none of those. when he turned 15, he spent hours checking every inch of his body to see if he had any writing or spots of color. once he was sure that wasn't the case, he wrote on his forearms and the back of his hand with red pen in hopes of getting a response. his heart broke more and more the longer he went without a response until he eventually admitted it to himself: he was probably unpaired. meant to either stay alone or enter an unhappy marriage full of infidelity like his parents. he tried not to let the thought of that bring him down, even as everyone around him started finding their soulmates.

then one day, after he turned 18, he went to bed like normal and woke up confused. this wasn't his room or his bed or his house. he sat up to get a better look around him. the room was big and spacious, but unlike his, it was comfortable and felt like... home. the walls were painted light blue and filled with paintings of various ocean creatures. there were two comfy chairs looking towards a big window and the furniture was made of a light wood, making the room feel even bigger than it already was. the bedsheets were a darker shade of blue mixed with white and oh so soft and steve normally would've loved this place but this wasn't his fucking house. his room was ugly and boring and full of plaid that he desperately wanted to get rid of but couldn't because it sadly reminded him of his mom.

so instead of freaking out, he just sat silently and waited for someone to give him a clue as to where he was. as he waited, he happened to look down at his hand and his jaw dropped when he saw a ring. a ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. where wedding bands went. so it was clearly a wedding ring. he was married? jesus, did he get blackout drunk and get married to some chick and just forget about it?

before he could get up and look for the poor girl that was probably even more confused than he was, a door on the left side of the room opened and he heard a voice say "good morning, pretty boy.", a very familiar voice. he turned his head to see billy hargrove stepping out of the bathroom with a towel slung low over his hips, using a smaller towel to dry his hair. steve's heart started beating fast at the sight of him. billy looked to be a few years older, probably in his late 20s or early 30s, and his hair was shorter but he was still fit and so fucking hot. he tried to not think about the way his heart skipped a few beats when he saw the matching wedding ring on billy's finger.

steve was ready to drown billy in questions about where he was and what they were doing and why they were married, but when he opened his mouth, what came out instead was a tired "hey, handsome." that made him blush. the blonde seemed to find this funny because he chuckled quietly and stepped closer to pull steve into a deep and loving kiss, cupping his cheeks gently.

"you okay to walk?" billy asked him quietly and steve was surprised to find himself nodding his head and shifting to stand. billy simply gave him an amused look and stepped back a few feet to give him some space, but as soon as steve was on his feet, his knees buckled and he nearly fell to the floor. billy simply laughed as he caught him in his arms and swept him up into a bridal carry, pressing a kiss to his forehead and taking him to the bathroom. steve was once again surprised to find himself simply throwing his arms around billy's shoulders and snuggling closer to him. it was like he was stuck in his mind, able to think freely but not being able to control what he said and how his body moved.

when billy lowered him into a steaming tub, he sighed in relief and kissed back when the blonde pressed a kiss to his lips. "be nicer to me, i'm getting old." he grumbled and watched his husband(?) go right back to drying his hair, standing over him and looking down with dark eyes. his words made billy laugh again and steve made a mental note that the other male had a beautiful laugh. "you're only 28. besides," billy smirked, reaching down to run his fingers through steve's hair "i recall you enjoying every second and even begging for more all night." he hummed and steve's breath hitched for a second before he was scowling and pushing the laughing blonde away, desperately ignoring the crimson blush on his cheeks.

"just go wake up the girls! max is coming to pick them up at 11." he huffed and billy gave him a mocking salute as he left the bathroom, probably to get dressed. and steve- steve almost cried. he was apparently 10 years in the future, married to billy hargrove and with children? this was probably some amazing dream he was having- wait. dream. this must be a soulmate dream. from what he heard, they were rare and sometimes didn't come true at all but... this must mean that billy hargrove was his soulmate. the thought of that made him smile like an idiot and he promised to not think about that for now and focused on cleaning himself and getting dressed in some comfortable sweatpants and his favorite yellow sweater that was somehow still alive, taking his sweet time since he was in a lot of pain. it was like they went at it like rabbits the whole night, fuck.

when he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen where he could hear a commotion, it was a few minutes until the clock struck 11. he was nervous and his thoughts were going a mile a minute but when he stepped into the kitchen, his body automatically went for the coffee and the two painkillers that billy had probably left out for him. after taking them and draining about half the cup in one go, he turned around and his breath caught in his chest.

the girls were beautiful. they were clearly twins, both with fiery red hair and emerald green eyes and about 2 years old, but one was quietly (and very clumsily) eating her food and the other was arguing with billy with her limited vocabulary. nicole and cynthia were their names. or so his brain told him. "let me help you, sweetheart." steve said and approached the quiet twin, wiping her mouth and feeding her the rest of the food that was on her plate. she simply grinned up at steve and gladly accepted the help with a soft 'thank you, dada'.

steve's heart melted in his chest at the sweet voice, but then the other twin was screeching "no, dammit!" and steve saw billy turn away to hide his laughter. asshole. "nicole!" steve scolded and kicked billy's leg under the table. the little girl turned to look at him and her expression went from angry to delighted in seconds, squealing in delight at the sight of him. steve smiled fondly at her and told her to let papa help, darling and she accepted easily, no longer arguing and letting billy feed her. billy kicked him back at that, flipping him off when both girls were distracted briefly.

after that, at exactly 11'o'clock, there was a knock on their door and lucas sinclair was letting himself in and greeting him and billy briefly before crouching to greet the suddenly very excited girls. "where's max?" billy asked as steve cleaned the girls' sticky hands and wiped their faces and made sure they had their bags with them, sneakily verifying that billy had packed everything properly as lucas told the blonde that max was waiting in the car along with jane. then they were saying goodbye to lucas and the girls after inviting him to go to the beach with them next weekend and then he and billy were alone, the girls going to spend the day with max and then stay over at her house.

they spent the day cleaning around the house together and occasionally kissing and every once in a while, max would send them pictures of her and the girls together at the aquarium, some with lucas in them and others with a smiling jane. after they finished cleaning, they made dinner and then curled up together on the couch to watch tv, with steve promising to clean the dirty dishes the next day and billy rolling his eyes fondly but accepting. as they watched tv, billy complained about the snotty kids he gave surfing lessons to and told steve that he didn't understand how he could work with rowdy children and pta moms five days a week and not go insane. steve simply chuckled sleepily and listened to whatever billy said, ecstatic that this was gonna be his future but tired from the emotional rollercoaster that the day had been.

before he fell asleep in billy's arms, he made sure to press a long kiss to the blonde's lips and whisper a quiet 'i love you'.

and then he woke up back in his bedroom with pain in his chest and tears in his eyes. he spent a while just laying in bed, simply trying to remember every possible detail of his dream- of his future.

sudden loud and desperate knocking on his front door made him jump out of bed and rush downstairs, already having a pretty solid idea of who was on the other side of the door.

and he was right. when he opened the door, billy hargrove was standing on his front porch and panting heavily. his clothes were wrinkled and askew, meaning that he had probably rushed to dress and make his way over to steve's house.

they stared at each other for a few solid seconds before they both moved forward at the same time, hugging each other tightly. "we'll make it happen. that's- our future. we'll make it ours." billy was desperately muttering into his hair and steve was nodding his head to agree, not being able to speak due to the knot of feelings clogging his throat.

and they did, they desperately tried to make that future theirs.

until billy died on the fourth of july, in the year 1985. and steve was left alone, haunted with the knowledge of what could've been, what he lost and what never got to truly have.

tagging: @every-dayiwakeup

Look me in the eye and tell me they're not the same person i dare you

ok so i was thinking about that post and-

billy’s mom bumping into a man while grocery shopping - mid-twenties she figures - he helps her pick something up that she dropped and they chat for a few minutes

then he says he better get going, something about having a schedule to stick to, and gives her a smile before making his way down the isle

something about him seems so familiar to her but she can’t figure out why

they catch each other a few more times while going up and down the isles, exchanging a few words here and there and she finds it surprisingly easy to talk to him, almost as if they’d spoken before

about twenty minutes later she leaves the shop and sees him outside - he lifts his arm, giving her a small wave, before another man’s voice has him turning around

she’s about to make her way to her car when she hears the other man speak-

“you ready, billy?”

and she freezes

thinks back to blonde curls, thinks about the slope of his nose and the freckles scattered across it, the shape of his eyes and the curve of his mouth

his smile-

and then, just like that, they’re both walking past her

the man - billy - turns to give her one last quick smile, just a small quirk of his mouth, before leaning into the other man now at his side

“as ready as i’ll ever be, harrington”

Damn that hit close to home

the billy fandom is like that one group of friends you always see sitting together at lunch and they seem pretty normal and cool but when you approach them, you hear someone sobbing over billy's past and you see someone else showing the whole group a picture of billy hargrove in the world's tiniest shorts, and there's someone screaming "billy has all the boyfriends ever!" and there's music but you can't tell where it's coming from and you're like "what the fuck" but then you look at the popular table and it's in flames and people are screaming at each other over ships so you just. sit with the billy fandom because they're so chill (and have amazing music taste).

i just had a thought... imagine steve and billy moving to california and getting an apartment together. then one day, the harringtons decide to visit steve to "see how he's doing" and they don't really like billy at all. whenever they visit, he always just stares at them and glares whenever they try to give steve life advice. he refuses to leave the room so they can have private conversations with their son, he always makes them serve their own food themselves instead of letting steve do it for them and he calls them by their first name instead of respectfully calling them mr. and mrs. harrington.

worst of all, no matter how many times they tell him to, he refuses to put a shirt on and is always showing off the dark hickeys on his neck and chest. "i wish he would stop trying to show everyone that he's sleeping around with girls." mrs. harrington says one day and ignores billy's smug grin and steve's awkward laugh.

and then, they decide to visit steve one day to try and convince him to move back in with them but no matter how many times mrs. harrington knocks on the door, no one comes to open it. mr. harrington tells her to try the doorknob and to their surprise, it's unlocked so they just let themselves in.

only to find steve and billy making out on the couch, billy pinning their son down and said son desperately gripping the blond's shoulder to pull him closer.

the only thing steve and billy hear is a horrified "oh my god, james, they're gay!" followed by quickly receding footsteps but when they look, they're alone and their front door is wide open.

"i thought i heard your mom." billy says as he gets up to shut the door and lock it, trying to hide his wide grin from his boyfriend. "whatever. she wasn't there so it doesn't matter." steve says and pulls billy on top of him once the blond is close enough. they both smile at each other and lean forward at the same time, happy to make out for a few more hours.

after that, they suddenly stop getting visits from the harringtons and instead receive awkward christmas cards with money in them every year. steve always asks why billy grins smugly at the sight of them but billy just shrugs and says "let's just say that i have a better ear for hearing when people are knocking on our door." and steve just accepts it, happy that he doesn't have to deal with his parents and doesn't have to hide the hickeys on his chest and thighs from them anymore.

winter storms | lighthouses of southern maine