AO3 COME BACK!!!!!!

This one I remeber took so many tries getting the movements down lol

This is awesome!! : |]

Expanding on the below concepts from a dream I had last September

Ig I’m headed towards a haunted/manifestation of guilt idea hmm

Island Retreat

Some JL members get stranded on an island.

Marvel: “I caught couple rats and a rabbit.” *holding the rats by their tails and the rabbit by its legs*

GA: “Ooh nice. I got a deer. Can I have a rat or two? They taste like stringy chicken.”

Marvel: “Sure!”

WW: “I brought back a bear.” *points behind her to a bear*

GA and Marvel: “Woah, Wondy you’re the best!”

The reason Marvel didn’t get anything bigger was because as Billy, he’s used to catching rats and pidgins so he stuck to what he was used to. GA just was just hunting, and Wonder is just Wonder. Now, of course as Marvel, he could’ve catch bigger things. This was utilized when Arthur, Diana, and him made a challenge of hunting and ran around trying to hunt the most. Diana won with a warthog, three deer, a rabbit, and a snake.

So, here’s the squad: Marvel, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman.

They turned this into a vacation guys. They’re playing beach ball with a makeshift ball. They’re using the radio they’re supposed to be using to radio for help, for music. They’re chilling.

Aquaman: *stops paying attention to their beach ball game and doesn’t even notice as it smacks into his head as he’s looking to the water*

GA: “Dude…? Why’d you throw our game? Now we’re behind those two.” *looks to where Arthur’s looking*

Marvel and WW: *also look over to the water*

*silence*

Dolphin: *suddenly pops up out of nowhere tugging a crate with him*

Aquaman: “Oh my god…” *rushes over*

GA, Marvel, WW: *confused*

Aquaman: *opens crate* “Alcohol!”

All of them were later chilling on the beach, drinking cocktails of their choices…

GA: “The is the life…”

Aquaman: *Agreed. It’s nice to have a couple days away from Atlantis and being a hero. Speaking of which, Cap, I’m honestly surprised you’re so chill about this.”

Marvel: “Whatcha mean?”

GA: “Dude, you never take breaks.”

Marvel: “Wha? Of course I do.”

WW: “Brother, the other day I heard Bruce discussing with Clark about the fact that out of the six years you’ve been on the team, you’ve never once asked for some kind of leave.”

GA: “Wait really??”

Marvel: *silence* “I don’t see how it’s a bad thing.”

Aquaman: “It is a bad thing, pal. That’s not normal. You don’t have any family you need to visit or spend time with?”

Marvel: “No, not really. Junior and Mary are in the hero bizz so we spend a lot of time together already. Then, as for you guys, I see you almost every day since I go to the Watchtower a lot.”

GA: *gasp* “You consider us family?” *sounds touched*

Marvel: “Yes? Is that bad?” *sounds self conscious*

Aquaman: “Not at all. I for one am happy to be apart of your family.” *sounds proud*

WW: “As am I. I’m happy we’re siblings, brother.”

When the four were finally found, they got scolded by Bats and Supes.

Batman and Supes: *standing side by side*

Batman: *bat-glaring them all*

Supes: “What is wrong with you?! You can’t just shipwreck and then not contact us! Why didn’t you use the emergency radio?!”

GA: “There was an emergency radio?”

Supes: “Yes!”

Marvel: *whispers to Arthur in Atlantean* “Is he talking about the radio we used to play music?”

Aquaman: *whispers back in Atlantean* “I think so.”

Supes: “What’re you two saying?”

Marvel and Aquaman: *simultaneously, and in English* “Nothing.”

Supes: *starts ranting again*

WW: *whispers in Greek* “What were you guys saying?”

Marvel: *also switches to Greek* “The radio. We think it was the one we used to play music.”

Supes: “Guys! I can still hear you!”

Marvel: “Sorry Mr. Superman.”

WW: “Apologies, Clark.”

Supes: *starts ranting again*

GA: *in Italian* “What were you guys talking about?”

Marvel: *in Italian* “Remember the radio? We think that was the SOS radio.”

Supes: “GUYS. Stop whispering in languages we don’t understand—”

Batman: “I understood two out of those three.”

Supes: “—In languages I don’t understand!” *looks to Bruce*

Batman: “They weren’t using the SOS radio to signal for help.”

Aquaman: “We were using it for music.”

GA: “Arthur! You snitch!”

Aquaman: “What? They were gonna find out anyways.”

Supes: “Why were you guys playing music???”

WW: “We had what one would call a vacay.”

Supes: *takes a deep breath* “Okay. Marvel, go sit over there.” *points to a couple feet away from the other three*

Marvel: “What? Why?”

Supes: “Because you speak to many languages! Now go.”

Marvel: *pitifully walks over there*

Supes: “Now, back to what I was saying.” *starts ranting again*

BRO!!

I don’t really Go Here but u can always rely on this man to read a right wing politician’s outfit for filth

Straight.. Banana…

So yesterday I went to take banana, peeled it, and came back to show my partner because wow, this is a VERY STRAIGHT banana !

Like abnormally straight !

!!!

me when i salvage

FINALLY

DP Mechanic AU- Part 8

Masterpost

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

It was easy to piece together what had happened, seeing the Phantom trio huddled around their cars in the school parking lot, hoods popped and jumper cables at the ready. Without hesitation, Dash changed his trajectory from his own truck to the group. 

“Who’s car won’t start?” Dash asked when he was within hearing distance. 

All three teens turned in surprise before offering up a variety of greetings to their newcomer. 

“Mine won’t start” Danny said in answer to Dash’s original question. 

“You could have called.” Dash stated as he stepped up to the cars, taking a peek under the hood. 

“Eh, we at least know how to jump a car.” Danny shrugged.

“With instructions” Tucker muttered from where he stood to the side, a forum pulled up on his PDA outlining how to start a dead battery. Danny elbowed him. 

Dash turned to Sam as she went to connect the positive cable to her hearse’s battery. “I have a portable jump starter in my car if you don’t want to kill your battery.” 

That successfully stopped her. 

“That would be great actually.” She answered, back tracking and removing the cable from both batteries. Dash nodded to her and left to track down his truck, returning a few minutes later with the necessary device,

In no time Dash had Danny’s car up and running. Nobody said it, but the trio was grateful that the professional had taken over. They could have managed eventually, but it was only due to Tucker paying for data on his mobile devices and their shoddy reading comprehension that would have kept them afloat. 

As Dash was closing the hood, he turned to Danny. 

“If you want, you can come over real quick and I can test your battery to make sure it’s not actually the alternator.” 

Danny perked up at that. 

“Yeah, sure! I just have to drop Tucker off first.” He responded.

A half hour later found Danny back at Dash’s house, his car parked in the garage and its hood popped to allow access. With a newfound familiarity, Danny found his way to the stools that had been his spot the first time he had been in Dash’s garage. Both boys could feel the lack of discomfort that had been ever present in their first car experience together. 

“Good news, it’s the battery.” Dash announced as he removed the reader and put it back on the tool chest. 

“That’s good news?” Danny asked, warry to hear anything wrong as a good thing. 

“Yeah, they cost is about the same, but a battery is hellava lot easier to replace than an alternator.” Dash explained as he grabbed his keys. “Come on, I’ll drive.” 

Without question, Danny grabbed his bag and hopped into the passenger’s side of Dash’s truck. As he buckled in, he noted the air freshener was doing a worse job than before at hiding the smell of sweat and plastic from football gear that had sat in the car a hair too long. 

Feeling comfortable enough to give in to his curiosity this time, Danny reached up to grab the fuzzy dice wrapped around the rearview mirror. 

“Paulina got me those.” Dash responded as he backed his truck out, his arm around the passenger seat and his focus directed out the back window. 

“Hmm.” Danny hummed in response to show he was listening while he stared at the strong line Dash’s neck made while his body was turned away. He dropped the dice and looked away as Dash faced forward again and put the truck into drive. 

“She got them for me when I started driving. I think she thought they were funny at first, but she ended up getting some for herself too. I do like them.” Dash continued 

‘She should have gotten you pink ones though.” Danny joked. 

Dash huffed a laughed. 

Danny let Dash take the lead when they got to the auto store, following him as he navigated the isles with practiced ease. He watched Dash grab the right battery, present his ID number for a nice discount and manhandle his way into paying. 

“You know,” Danny started as they got back into the truck, battery stowed safely away on his lap, “I know I said I’d take advantage of your offer to do everything for free, but I didn’t mean to do it this much. Mostly I meant if for the water pump.” 

Dash just shrugged in answer. 

“Like, I can pay for the parts at least.” Danny explained further. 

“I know what you’re getting at Fenton.” 

“Then I can give you money for the battery. You didn’t have to pay.” 

“And I said I’d fix your car for free.” Dash returned. “If I wanted you paying for parts I would have said so. Plus, I make good money at my job, and from what I can tell you don’t make anything for being a ghost hero.” 

Danny couldn’t find a rebuttal, so with a huff he turned to stare out the passenger window. If asked, he would swear he didn’t pout as he muttered “I like it better when you call me Danny.” 

Dash smiled at the road ahead of him. 

When they got back, Danny refrained from pulling out his homework and instead watched Dash as he worked to grab all his tools. He watched him load up a cart with a wrench, a rachet and a few other things before wheeling it to the waiting Honda Accord. 

As Dash attempted to attach the correct socket to his rachet, it managed to slip out of his hand. A sharp metallic noise rang out as the socket connected with the floor, causing Danny to jump a bit. Immediately he slid off the stool and reached down to grab it as it rolled towards him. 

“I got it” Dash said, coming forward at the same time, trying to catch the runaway tool. 

Both boys moved too fast to stop from colliding into each other, an audible thump was heard as their foreheads connected. They both fell back with a curse, automatically grabbing the afflicted area as the socket lost momentum, coming to a stop between both their feet. 

As Dash dropped his arm, he looked at Danny also rubbing his forehead. 

“You okay?” Dash asked. Without thinking he brought his hand up to caress the side of Danny’s face, his thumb rubbing the spot where they had collided. He caught himself glancing down at Danny’s lips before making eye contact with a very flustered Daniel Fenton. 

As if on fire Dash snatched his hand back and grabbed the fallen socket, his heart beating a mile a minute as he processed what he had been doing. Rather than trying to figure out an explanation, he just muttered a quick “sorry” and fled back to the car, ducking his head under the hood. His hands shook with a mortifying energy, almost dropping the socket again as he tried to attach it to the ratchet for a second time. 

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway brought both boys back to reality. Dash shot away from Danny like a bullet, rushing to the large toolchests against the wall and messing with anything close at hand in an attempt to look busy. He took a deep breath trying to calm his frenzied heart and will away the heat from his cheeks. He’d never felt so much like a deer in the headlights. 

Danny found himself frozen against the car as he processed that he’d just made out with Dash. He jumped a little when the car door closed, shocking him out of his stupor and kicking him into gear to stumble back to his seat on the stools. 

“Sorry dad,” Dash called in a shaky voice, turning to address the older gentleman walking into the garage. “I thought we’d be done before you got back. I’ll repark your car when we’re finished.” 

Danny realized he’d never really seen Dash’s father. As he looked at the tall, middle-aged, all-American man, he could tell who Dash had gotten his genes from. It was hard to pinpoint the greys amongst the man’s blond hair, but he had the same square jaw and hooked nose that his son had inherited. He looked like someone who had also played sports in his prime, but rather than letting himself go as one might think, he maintained a strong stature. 

Said man realized they had company and sent a questioning look in Danny’s direction. Danny gave a small wave and the man nodded back in acknowledgement. 

“No need to move my car,” Mr. Baxter said, returning his attention to his son. “Your mother and I are going to dinner with the Jacksons tonight.” 

“Right” Dash nodded, “I forgot that was today.” 

His father nodded in response. “I take it something broke” He asked, taking in the scene as a whole. 

“Battery died.” Dash answered, starting to walk back to the Honda. “I told Danny I could check it wasn’t his alternator before he bought a new one.” 

Danny was impressed at how steady Dash’s voice was knowing that he himself was having a hard time wrapping his head around the very surreal experience they were having. There was a tension in the air that was almost palpable and he had to resist the urge to turn invisible. He could see Dash was also uncomfortable by the stiffness of his shoulders and his stilted movements. 

“I see.” 

“Figured I could help install it. It’s easy enough.” 

Mr. Baxter nodded before turning his attention to Danny. “Have you been to Dash’s shop before?” 

“Yes sir.” Danny answered quickly, startled at being addressed. 

“What do you think of it?” Mr. Baxter asked. 

“It’s nice. They’re very helpful.” Danny replied cautiously. He got the vague sense he was being interrogated.  

“They are.” Dash’s father agreed. “The Harpers happens to be good friends of mine; I hope you continue giving them your support.” 

Danny nodded his head. He felt like the comment was pointed, but he couldn't figure out what the man was implying. 

“Dash, can I talk to you for a minute?” Mr. Baxter requested before turning and heading into the house. Dash followed at a reserved pace. 

As he entered the house, he saw that his dad hadn’t gone far, choosing to stay in the small laundry room that connected the garage to the main house. 

“Why’s the Fenton boy in our garage?” Mr. Baxter asked, his arms crossed but his face neutral. 

Dash had to calm himself down a moment, his heart attempting to claw its way out of his throat. 

“He’s been helping me with my physics homework recently, so I figured this made us even.” He lied. 

“I don’t remember your grades going down.” 

“No, but this unit’s been hard.” 

“Hm.” Dash’s father contemplated. “Is there anyone else you can ask for help?” 

“Probably,” Dash responded. “he’s just been the most convenient.” 

“I understand,” Mr. Baxter sighed, uncrossing his arms. “I just don’t want to associate with the Fenton’s. They’re strange people and I don’t think it’s best to be seen with their son.” 

Dash nodded, keeping his head down as he waited for the conversation to be over. He heard his father sigh. 

“Will you be fine on your own tonight?” 

Dash nodded again, not trusting his voice. 

“We’ll be back around eight.” 

“Okay.” 

“…Okay” 

His father left the laundry room, heading into the main house. 

Dash could feel his nails digging into his palm as he clenched his fists. It took two breathing cycles before he had enough control over himself to be ready to face Danny. 

Dash kept his head ducked as he re-entered the garage. He was tired. Too much had happened too fast. His heart fluttered as he picked up the ratchet, remembering the feel of Danny’s lips on his own. His chest grew heavy while he loosened the battery as he remembered the judgment on his father’s face. 

“Do you need me to leave?” Danny asked quietly. 

Dash looked at him in surprise. “No, why?” 

Danny gave him a sympathetic look, “Your dad wasn’t exactly quiet.” 

Dash’s face fell at the admission. 

“Fuck” he cursed. “I’m sorry.” 

Danny shrugged and gave him a resigned smile. “It not the first time I’ve heard something like that. You should hear Sam’s parents complain.” 

“Still. I-“ Dash stopped. He didn’t know what he wanted to say- he just felt guilty. 

“Trust me, I don’t like it.” Danny cut in “but I don’t blame you for what your parents think.” 

He sighed before continuing “And I know my parents. I love them but I know they’re loud and I know everyone talks… I don’t like it, but I get it.” 

Dash just nodded as he fought off another wave of guilt. He had already had an excuse ready for being seen with Danny had a situation like this occurred, but it hurt knowing his precautions had been necessary. He knew years of listening to his father talk down about the Fentons had been the kindling his anger issues needed to start bullying Danny ages ago. He knew how his father still felt and he hated that Danny had to bear witness to it. 

But Dash didn’t know how to express any of this, so he did what he knew he could do and turned back to Danny’s car to fix a problem that required a physical solution. 

It took less than five minutes for Dash to change the battery, putting the old one in the bed of his truck so he could bring it to work for proper disposal. 

“Go ahead and turn your car on” Dash instructed, is voice still subdued. 

“Cool.” Danny responded, slipping into the driver’s seat. 

Danny let out a small “Whoo!” as the engine roared to life effortlessly with the new battery in place. He left the car running as he got out to grab his backpack. 

“Want to go on a test drive with me?” He asked Dash 

Dash shot him a questioning look, knowing a test drive wasn’t necessary. 

“Let me rephrase that. Dash, you don’t look like you want to be home right now and also your dad doesn’t want me here” Danny smiled slyly at him “shall we both leave on a test drive?” 

Dash let out a surprised huff.

“Alright.” he replied as he hopped in the passenger seat. 

Dash could feel his stress diminish the farther they drove from his house. He was exhausted all the way to his bones.

“At least it started nice” Dash thought wistfully, glancing over at Danny and remembering the noise he had made when Dash kissed the spot behind his ear.

Leaning back into the seat, Dash let his eyes fall shut as he focused on the subtle movements of the car accelerating.

Dash wasn’t quite asleep as the car came to a stop, but he still felt groggy as he took in his surroundings. Looking up, he saw the city’s most obnoxious building- the neon Fentonworks sign brightly lit despite the sun still being up.

Dash furrowed his brow in confusion.

Wow! What a fast three weeks!

Jk, I genuinely thought it was going to take a few weeks for this to get finished, but I underestimated my need to draw these two kissing. So, I hope ya'll enjoy the fast update. It's the part we've all been waiting for

There for sure is two more parts, but there's also an interlude and a few side stories I want to do that aren't integral to the story but take place between parts 9 and 10. I haven't decided what order I want to make them all, but that's at least a look at how much more we have until this AU is officially over

See ya'll next time!

Masterpost

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

I need Joker to fear Captain Marvel so dam badly. Let me explain.

So we know how we, as a community, all accepted that Billy Batson / Captain Marvel is the most egregious Tax Evader of DC (for this who don’t know, there was a whole poll and our boy Billy won out of literally everyone, including supervillains).

And in the Batman Cartoon (and some comics), it’s stated that Joker is terrified of the IRS.

I think you see the picture.

Joker: I may be crazy enough to fight Batman, but I am NOT crazy enough to deal with the IRS

Captain Marvel: lol imagine doing your taxes

Everyone present: w h a t

*clip goes viral*

IRS Agent: So, Captain Marvel was it? According to this footage, you have no been paying your taxes

Marvel: prove it.

IRS Agent: What?

Marvel: to make me pay anything, you need to know who I am and what’s to pay. I got nothing to pay.

IRS Agent: that’s not-

Marvel: not even Batman knows who or what I am. For all you know, I could be living in a multidimensional rock situated in, quite literally, the middle of nowhere.

IRS Agent: …

IRS Agent: I- w h a t

*some time later*

IRS AGENT: YOU BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO LATE CC BATSON. SOMEONE WHO HASNT PAID TAXES IN 70 YEARS! YOU OWE US TAXES

Marvel: no I’m not

IRS Agent: Don’t try-

Marvel, holding the lasso of truth: I am not CC Batson, I don’t owe you shit. Plus he’s totes dead so can’t be me.

IRS Agent: DAMMIT

Joker: This mofo is crazy! Crazy? I was crazy onc-

*later*

IRS Agent, in Fawcette: why is none telling me anything!!!! You, Child, what do you know of your local hero?

Itty Bitty Billy Batson: lmao aren’t you that Agent harassing Cap

IRS Agent: it’s not harassment if he owes the government taxes

Billy: good luck taxing anyone in Fawcette lmao, magic doesn’t give a shit about that. Also we have different currency’s that just switches on random basis. So unless the government takes Drachmas, you’re cooked

IRS Agent, on the verge of tears: this has never happened before

Lex Luthor: WRITE THAT DOWN WRTE THAT DOWN

Bonus:

Billy: you know, I know someone who has been commuting tax evasion, tax fraud and more charges. His name is Ebenezer Batson. That’s E B E N Z E R and he lives just outside of Fawcette. Can’t miss him.

IRS Agent, who has a fridge with ‘CC Batson’ and is more than happy to get old man prey: thanks kid

Bonus 2:

Billy: Sweet, the IRS put my uncle in jail and the police gave me back my inheritance. Now to convert this into Fawcette currency (they will not be taxing this money)

Joker, visibly weeps

Happy Danniversery