That Really Is How Being In Your 30s Is Like 😭

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

Eyes, Skin, Face, Hair, Build: Character physical descriptions.

Eyes – General

large, small, narrow

sharp, squinty, round

wide-set, close-set, deep-set

sunken, bulging, protruding

wide, hooded, heavy-lidded

bright, sparkling, glittering

flecked, dull, bleary

rheumy, cloudy, red-rimmed

beady, birdlike cat-like

jewel-like, steely, hard

fringed with long lashes, with sweeping eyelashes, with thick eyelashes

Eyes – Color

chestnut, chocolate brown, cocoa brown

coffee brown, mocha, mahogany

sepia, sienna brown, mink brown

copper, amber, cognac

whiskey, brandy, honey

tawny, topaz, hazel, obsidian

onyx, coal, raven, midnight, sky blue, sunny blue

cornflower blue, steel blue, ice blue

Arctic blue, glacial blue, crystal blue

cerulean, electric blue, azure

lake blue, aquamarine, turquoise

denim blue, slate blue / slate gray, storm blue / storm gray

silver / silver gray, chrome, platinum, pewter

smoky gray, ash gray, concrete gray, dove gray

shark gray, fog gray, gunmetal gray, olive

emerald, leaf green, moss green

Eyebrows

arched, straight, plucked, sparse

trim, dark, faint, thin, thick, unruly

bushy, heavy

Skin – Color

amber, bronze, cinnamon

copper, dark brown, deep brown

ebony, honey, golden

pale, pallid, pasty

fair, light, cream / creamy

alabaster, ivory, bisque

milk, porcelain, chalky

sallow, olive, peach

rose / rosy, ruddy, florid

russet, tawny, fawn

Skin – General

lined, wrinkled, seamed

leathery, sagging, drooping

loose, clear, smooth

silken, satiny, dry

flaky, scaly, delicate

thin, translucent, luminescent

baby-soft, flawless, poreless

with large pores, glowing, dewy

dull, velvety, fuzzy

rough, uneven, mottled

dimpled, doughy, firm

freckled, pimply, pockmarked

blemished, pitted, scarred

bruised, veined, scratched

sunburned, weather-beaten, raw

tattooed

Face – Structure

square, round, oblong

oval, elongated, narrow

heart-shaped, catlike, wolfish

high forehead, broad forehea, prominent brow ridge

protruding brow bone, sharp cheekbones, high cheekbones

angular cheekbones, hollow cheeks, square jaw

chiseled, sculpted, craggy

soft, jowly, jutting chin

pointed chin, weak chin, receding chin

double chin, cleft chin, dimple in chin

visible Adam’s apple

Nose

snub, dainty, button

turned-up, long, broad

thin, straight, pointed

crooked, aquiline, Roman

bulbous, flared, hawk, strong

Mouth/Lips

thin, narrow, full

lush, Cupid’s bow, rosebud

dry, cracked, chapped

moist, glossy, straight teeth

gap between teeth, gleaming white teeth, overbite

underbite

Facial Hair 

clean-shaven

smooth-shaven

beard

neckbeard

goatee

moustache

sideburns

mutton-chop sideburns

stubble

a few days’ growth of beard

five o’ clock shadow

Hair – General

I threw a few hairstyles in here, though not many.

long, short, shoulder-length

loose, limp, dull

shiny, glossy, sleek

smooth, luminous, lustrous, spiky

stringy, shaggy, tangled

messy, tousled, windblown

unkempt, bedhead, straggly

neatly combed, parted, slicked down / slicked back

cropped, clipped, buzzed / buzz cut

crewcut, bob, mullet

curly, bushy, frizzy

wavy, straight, lanky

dry, oily, greasy

layers, corkscrews, spirals

ringlets, braids, widow’s peak

bald, shaved, comb-over, afro

thick, luxuriant, voluminous

full, wild, untamed

bouncy, wispy, fine, thinning

Hair – Color

black, blue-black, jet black

raven, ebony, inky black

midnight, sable, salt and pepper

silver / silver gray, charcoal gray, steel gray

white, snow-white, brown

brunette, chocolate brown, coffee brown

ash brown, brown sugar, nut brown

caramel, tawny brown, toffee brown

red, ginger, auburn, Titian-haired

copper, strawberry blonde, butterscotch

honey, wheat, blonde

golden, sandy blond, flaxen

fair-haired, bleached, platinum

Body Type – General

tall, average height, short

petite, tiny, compact

big, large, burly

beefy, bulky, brawny

barrel-chested, heavy / heavy-set, fat

overweight, obese, flabby

chunky, chubby, pudgy

pot-bellied, portly thick

stout, lush, plush

full-figured, ample, rounded

generous, voluptuous, curvy

hourglass, plump, leggy / long-legged

gangling, lanky, coltish

lissome, willowy, lithe

lean, slim, slender

trim, thin, skinny

emaciated, gaunt, bony

spare, solid, stocky

wiry, rangy, sinewy

stringy, ropy

reasons to watch rise: "hm? yeahyeah, whatever leo said is probably right."

Temptations of Father Basil Part 1 (18+) is out now!

Father Basil knew better than to enter the door to Hell that haunted his village, but when it becomes clear that it's the only way to find his lost friend Sage, then the priest is forced to do the unthinkable. 

But instead of arriving in the lands of brimstone and torment he expected, Father Basil finds himself in the Gardens of Malum, a lush flowery estate where demons indulge in their lechery and hedonism. He is soon hunted by strange bloodthirsty demons and, much more to his horror, tempted by the  the shadowy smug demon Dandelion, whose desires for Father Basil extend farther than the priest's soul. 

This is Part One of The Temptations of Father Basil, an episodic short story series following Father Basil's search for his lost friend, his explorations of the lands of Hell, and his developing relationship with the strange demon Dandelion.

These stories are sexual in nature and should only be read by mature audiences. You can find more detailed contents on the shop page

17k words, 14 illustrations. Comes in PDF and EPUB formats.

Read it here!

Important question: is your character “I have bore a thousand storms and can bear a thousand more” stoic or “I have bore a thousand storms and my foundations are crumbling, my walls are trembling, my structure is unsound and one more might prove to be my fall” stoic?

I love this video so much. I thought I was the only person who experienced these things. this made me feel normal for the first time in my life.

to any other neurodivergent people out there: you're not crazy, or deranged, or disgusting. you're not a bad person. your intrusive thoughts are not your desires. and you are not alone.

ableists don't even make eye contact with this video.

Whumper dialogue

“Darling, if you still believe in a god, get on your hands and knees and pray. Because if you’re lucky, and They decide you deserve it, They are the last person who can save you now”

Elements of real science I'd love to see in more fictional magic systems

Categories are defined by people, not by nature, and way looser around the edges than everyone thinks. "We like to divide spell-casting into rituals, runic magic, instantaneous spells, and curses or blessings, but the 'curse or blessing' category has more to do with how long a spell LASTS than how it's SET, and the line between ritual and inscribed runes gets really blurry in places..."

Models of 'how this works' that get taught to little kids which are fully debunked later as 'over-simplified and actually totally inaccurate, but a good way to learn, this is better', only to be replaced two years of study after that because, 'actually that was also a lie for the sake of learning, learn this one instead'. "Yes, we teach kids that planes stack in layers and sometimes holes form between them, and I know last year we covered the Humperdink Theory Of Planar Interweaving where those so-called holes are areas of enmeshment with the fibers of multiple planes at once, but today we're finally going to talk about the Planar Mosaic Model."

Frenzies of curiosity each time something unexpected happens, as wizards try to figure out, if this is a divergence from the pattern they THOUGHT they knew, then what is the bigger pattern? IE, "We've seen the Power of Friendship be insufficient to slaying this balrog for years! Why were these particular adventurers finally able to do it now?"

Basically, magic not as an objective force of the universe, but a hodgepodge thing humans made up to try and talk about and interface with the truth of the actual universe.

"Yes, we've been studying the lore and secrets of the universe for a thousand years. Things still just happen sometimes! That's why it's magic!"

Conversation Prompt

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely. Mine is my best friend. Our eyes met across a crowded room and my life was complete. The world is brighter, people are kinder - for the first time I felt like I had a home.”

“I’m trying to be romantic here.”

“Oh, sorry. You’re my other soulmate.”