Just Learned There Is An Hour Long Remake Of The Princess Bride With Different Celebrities Playing The

I was just thinking what if Twilight au with Bella as the vampire matriarch of The Olympic Coven??

Bella is turned, she has incredible control and refuses to feed on humans which catches the attention of Aro

She lives with the Volturi for a time and develops her shield abilities and pours over their libraries learning everything she can about her kinds history.

Alice is changed and wakes up with no memories but dreams a mystery man who is her soulmate and a girl who will be her best friend.

Bella grows unhappy with the way the Volturi treat humans and she leaves and lives alone until Alice and Jasper join her.

Some years later Bella meets human Emmett and grows fond of the joke cracking, family loving young man he is but stays distant since he is a human and knowing humans is dangerous.

While out hunting she hears Emmett being attacked by a bear.

She’s too late to save him with human medicine though and she turns him

3 years later Emmett becomes infatuated with a human Rosalie but he knows that it’s dangerous for a human to know about vampires so he just watches her from afar.

Rosalie is attacked by Royce and Emmett carries her bloodied body back to Bella, begging her to change her.

In a brief moment of consciousness Rosalie consents and she is turned

It takes some time for Rose to trust the Swan family

She’s afraid of a twitchy Jasper and unsure of the big, loud Emmett.

But Emmett is kind and patient and he looks at her with such love in his eyes

His jokes make her laugh and when she decides to hunt down Royce he agrees to help.

They plan everything out and when it comes to the actual act Emmett stands back and let’s Rose deal out every intricate torture herself.

It’s her revenge and she should have it.

Afterwards he helps her wash Royce’s filthy blood from her hands and holds her while she grieves for everything her life could have been. 

While working as a nurse/midwife Bella treats a human Esme, she sees the abuse and worries over what will happen to this woman.

Alice shares her own concerns and they half come up with a plan to murder Esme’s husband Charles but Esme falls pregnant and the future is uncertain.

They wait.

The abuse continues and Esme loses her son.

Bella finds her at the bottom of a cliff broken and knowing how intelligent and loving and full of potential this woman is she can’t let her die.

Esme wakes up as a vampire.

Esme and Rosalie kill Charles.

Bella knows Alice saw it coming and told her sister.

Bella also knows it had to happen.

Esme and Bella are working as nurses in a local hospital when Bella meets a dying Edward.

The overwhelming pull she feels is like nothing she’s ever felt

She’s never craved human blood like this.

His blood sings for her but she knows humans and vampires don’t mix well and she doesn’t want to harm a human so she does everything she can to heal him

She’s damned but she’ll be damned again before she let’s his human life be taken away.

Edwards parents die and then Edward worsens.

Bella confides in Alice who tells her that loving Edward is her destiny, that they’re made for each other just like Rosalie and Emmett and her and Jasper.

Bella fantasises about the possible future Alice saw and in a moment of weakness she turns Edward saving his life.

Bella never imagined she’d find love, she knew she’d be alone forever but that’s all changed and maybe she can have her happy ending.

One night while wondering the streets of London Edward is drawn into a church, he hears faint choking, gasping, a racing heart and the smell of blood and vampire venom changing a human.

He find Carlisle fighting almost silently through the most painful change anyone could go through, he reads his mind and knows that this is someone worth knowing.

He know that Carlisle is afraid of him, knows a rogue vampire did this, he knows Carlisle’s father would kill his son for what he’s become so he stays to protect him and monitor his change.

Carlisle survives the change and wakes up a vampire.

It takes some convincing but Edward manages to take Carlisle to see his mate and coven leader Bella.

Upon arrival at their newest London house though they’re met first by Esme

Who was worried Edward had been gone so long and is about to tell him off when her eyes land on Carlisle

The rest is history.

Bella tells Carlisle everything he wants to know, vegetarian vampires heck yeah count me in, wow hot vampire wife who’s been waiting almost a hundred years for me heck yeah.

HECK YEAH

The End

what you need to understand about recommending a show to me is that no matter how much we both know I'll like it, I can't watch it until the Neurodivergence Department in my brain approves it. I don't know when that will be, and I don't have any more control over it than you do.

Dude even had the audacity to say “you’re slipping” when will only cut one of the three stings holding horace’s hands together

Why have I not seen LITERALLY ANYONE talk about how in Erak’s Ransom, when Will saves the group, Horace yells “Will!!” And holds up his tied hands AND WILL SHOOTS IT AND FREES HIM??? LIKE THAT WAS SO COOL WHY DO WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT????? The fact that, number one, Horace knew Will was skilled enough to do it, number two, Horace TRUSTED Will not to shoot his hand, number three, Will understood what Horace wanted him to do, and finally, the fact that WILL WAS ABLE TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Now obviously rangers are very trained and blah blah blah but THATS STILL BADASS????

Was no one gonna tell me that fucking blaine was in a very potter musical?????

Hi, your metas are super interesting, and even if I really enjoy fanon twilight, it's really cool to read opinions based only on canon too!

So my question is about the sexual orientation of the Cullens, do you think they all straight?

For example i saw someone saying that Edward maybe was demisexual and it left me thinking, so i just wanted to know your opinions about it :)

In short, no.

In alphabetical order:

Alice is with a man, but without getting into the mess that is Alice/Jasper here, I don’t think theirs is a particularly physical relationship. I mean, if Alice wanted to get laid, she could just decide to fuck Jasper, enjoy the vision, and bam. Itch scratched. Thanks, Jazz. Alright, I’ll be serious. Alice and Jasper are with each other because the other represents salvation, not so much because of a personal or physical attraction but because of mysticism. So to me that doesn’t really say much about Alice’s preference. All the same I can’t see Alice having a particular preference, she’s too... Alice. Although it is easier to picture her with women. She is also the second half of the Alice/Bella homoerotic extravaganza, which makes heterosexual Alice even more farfetched to me. So, bisexual or lesbian Alice.

Bella shows clear attraction to women as well as men. She’s attracted to Rosalie, Alice, Edward, and Carlisle. I’ll just give you guys quotes: Of the three boys, one was big — muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another was taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. He was more boyish than the others, who looked like they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students. The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. The short girl was pixielike, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction. (Twilight, page 9) This is the Cullens’ introduction. I won’t spend much time on it, just notice the difference between Rosalie and the others. Rosalie is highlighted in a way Alice is not, and Edward is at first glance only the boyish one of the guys. Rosalie was the Cullen whose beauty immediately stood out to Bella. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronze-haired boy. (sic.) Bella has realized by now that Edward’s a grade A hottie, but she’s still torn between him and Rosalie. Bella then gets to know Alice, and they become friends who take showers together(!). Rosalie may be the most attractive Cullen woman, but Alice is the one Bella gets emotionally close to. We get this in New Moon:  UNNATURALLY STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining.  (...) I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else—not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice. (New Moon, page 191) Bella never thought she’d never see any of the Cullens again, so for her to be hysterical and ecstatic upon seeing her second favorite is not by itself damning. I’m sure she’d be ecstatic to see Emmett too. It’s that fact that she’d missed Alice’s scent that’s interesting. The scent of her skin was something Bella was aware of before they parted. And while it may be tempting to say “it’s because they’re vampires, Bella’s admiring them like she would a work of art!”, Bella never dwells on Esme, Jasper, or Emmett in this way. Jasper and Emmett especially are not admired beyond the introduction of their characters. We never hear about what any of them smell like, nor does Bella remark upon their beauty after waking up a vampire. Carlisle and Edward, by comparison, are men she keeps noticing. Bella finds Carlisle blindingly beautiful when she first sees him as a vampire, and there’s this from New Moon: Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisle's face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he bent over my arm. (New Moon, page 18) There’s thinking someone is pretty, and then there’s gazing lovingly upon their face instead of pain killers. Bella is bisexual.

Carlisle moved in with a very gay man, had a close relationship with him, lived with him for the sake of his company for decades, and only left because of dietary differences. We don’t know for sure whether they actually had an affair or not, but the fact remains that of all the Cullens, Carlisle is the one who is implied to have had a homosexual relationship in canon. He loses his straight card based on that alone. Also gonna link this clip, because I’m Mac listening to Edward talk about how young Carlisle lived with this sexy Mycenaean Greek for a few decades when he was young. Aro is all the santas. Carlisle is bisexual.

Edward... oh boy. His brain is supposedly seventeen, and yet this very interesting thing happens in his relationship with Bella where he never notices her body. Not ever. By body I mean curves. Edward notices Bella’s skin, her frailty, her humanity. He praises her blushes, her doe-like eyes, her warmth, her softness, her swan-like neck, her delicious scent. The feminine aesthetic. He does not once notice her tits. The only tits he is on record noticing belong to Siobhan, and it’s because she has an impossible to ignore rack: She was profoundly female in shape—aggressively, forcefully female. (Midnight Sun, chapter Probability) It’s one thing for him to be old-fashioned and too quintessentially Edward to even think the word “boob”, but in 700+ pages of Midnight Sun there’s just this absence of this seventeen-year-old noticing her curves. More damningly, when seeing Alice’s vision of vampire!Bella, Edward is horrified at the sight of his love cold and hard. He doesn’t describe vampire!Bella by any of the positives, like “flawless”. Edward is attracted to the human, not the woman. What that means for his sexuality... well, I’m going to go ahead and point out that he is very weird about Carlisle, and it’s damning that the personality he projects onto Bella is so similar to Carlisle. I hesitate to apply a label here, but in my own, personal, headcanon we’re veering towards homosexual. Deeeeeeply closeted homosexual.

Emmett is straight. Straightest guy ever to straight.

Esme is pretty clearly taken with Carlisle. Though if she were to feel attracted towards another woman, I imagine she’d have no idea what to make of that, if she even recognized it for what it was. She’s from a very different time and still living in that time, and she continues to be very sheltered. Still, as per my personal headcanon, I see her as straight.

Jasper, who knows. Though if he’s into guys, he has probably gone for it in the past. I suppose I should write a meta on vampires and sexual norms in general, but in short I don’t think they all live monogamously like the Cullens. STDs and pregnancies are unheard of, as is social ostracizing. Vampires are hedonistic, Twilight vampires more so than any other. Which in turn means I don’t think Maria and Jasper were monogamous. A couple, sure, but I don’t think Maria would say “oh noes, I can’t, I’m with Jasper!” if someone she was attracted to made an overture, and same goes for Jasper. So, if Jasper was into guys, then sure. I can see Jasper/Peter happening, or even Charlotte/Jasper/Peter. Jasper is certainly into women, with the possibility of guys as well. And if so, then it’s probably happened.

Rosalie I’m shocked is with a guy in the first place, everything about her screams lesbian. However, she’s clearly into Emmett, so apparently she’s bisexual.

(I’m not including Renesmée in this, since she’s three months old by the time the series conclude.)

This all being said, several of these people are from very different times and wouldn’t have the same concepts of sexuality internalized as we do, so how they’d identify is a very different matter.

why do stanford pines and castiel look so much alike???

Marinette Vs Santa: The Rematch

Seven people requested a continuation of the Part 1 and I just gave in. I hope you like. I’m not big on writing sequels. So please let me know if its good.

When the news broke that billionaire Bruce Wayne’s daughter Marinette was dating the Roy, the son of billionaire Oliver Queen, it was like the world paused.

It was bigger than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Bigger than the royal wedding; both of them.

Bigger than the twilight love affair.

The Angel Marinette, the newfound princess of Gotham, dating the wayward Bad boy Roy, the prince of Star City.

Roy was handsome, really smart, funny, had a kickass attitude, played guitar and soccer, and loved animals; at least that’s what Jason told her Because Marinette had never met the guy.

Keep reading

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted