mccupidscruelty

Latest Posts by mccupidscruelty

Mikasa x gn! reader

Modern AU!

School AU!

Hanahaki disease AU!

Genre: hurt/comfort

Word count: 2.3k

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April 22nd

It was her.

With her always styled raven hair and grey eyes that you could swear you can see a galaxy in. Her headphones that she always wears, never ruining her hair. The way she looked absolutely gorgeous in anything she wore. I mean, who wouldn't fall in lovr? Honestly, she was just so perfect. The only problem was that she's already in love. She never actually said that, and knowing it was wrong to assume, yet, you still couldn't think anything else that would give you hope, because hoping never ends well.

Every time she would look at him you had lost a bit of hope, so now you just don't have it at all. You remembered your mother telling you to not loose hope yet here you were feeling hopeless, and that's exactly how you always felt when something went wrong. Giving up was bad, but easier than trying and you knew you would have to change that way of thinking. But you didn't know how. That's why you didn't even try.

You sigh as you walked in the school hall to greet your best friend. "Hey Mikasa!" you said as cheerfully as you can. She looked at you and smiled warmly, like she does only when she's with you "Hi y/n" her calm voice was so sweet, full of admiration. "Have you finished the essay?" your head shot up in realization.

You did start doing it but certain someone got into your head and you couldn't finish it. Sighing you said "I haven't finished it, but I did write most of it, so I'll just finish it on Geography" little laugh had left her at your answer and Mikasa gave you a look that slowly turned into a closed eye smile.

"You know, one day the teacher will see that you're not focusing on lesson" hearing her say that it was your turn to let out a small laugh "Well, she never noticed me sleeping and I've been doing that for about 2 years now" ending your conversation you realized you've been standing in hallway for ten minutes so you went into classroom.

April 28th

You came back home barely there were preparations for the Golden week. You sat at your table and drawing. You were just drawing, without any actual idea or whatever, just letting yourself express your emotions. What came out was a drawing of Mikasa, even on drawing you look so good you thought as you sigh and lied on your bed. Schools aren't working for a week due to Golden week so there weren't any plans on your list. The thoughts in your head soon were replaced with Mikasa's closed eye smile and you felt a tear on your cheek. You had just loved her too much

For the rest of the week you had felt so ill that you weren't even able to get out of your bed. It didn't matter anyway, the bed was your safe space anyway, not like you wanted to leave it. In bed you can cry as much as you want, nobody cares. Crying because of extreme pain due to being ill, or crying because of your one-sided love? You didn't know, you just cried.

May 5th

You felt extremely ill but your parents weren't seeing you serious so you had to go to school anyways. Being late on your first class you just sat down at your table. Looking at you extremely worried Mikasa was about to tap your shoulder until teacher interrupted her and told you all to focus.

After class she looked at you with visible worry in her eyes. "Hey? Are you fine? You seem kinda ill" you stared at her lips as the words slipped out of her mouth. You were about the answer when suddenly you started coughing. Your lungs were in pain, your eyes shut and Mikasa went up to you and started petting your back. "You are ill, aren't you?" you looked up to her as you stopped coughing "eh, probably" you brushed it off with a little laugh and then you heard the bell ringing so you prepared for the next class.

Throughout the class Mikasa was looking at you worriedly, not knowing what happened to her best friend. Out of nowhere you started coughing again, it was reaping your lungs out while you were lying you're okay every time someone asks you.

Only person that could ever tell when you were lying was Mikasa herself. She knew you better than you know yourself, except for that fact. She felt that something was off, but couldn't tell what. Knowing that something was wrong was tearing her apart, but she couldn't know anything unless you told her, and it didn't help that you yourself, didn't know why you were coughing.

The day went pretty normal afterwards with a few times you just starting coughing and everyone looking weird at you. At one point you went to bathroom alone and looked at yourself. "Do I have hanahaki? No,, that's not possible, that's a myth" you were trying to convince yourself yet it didn't work at all. You said a few more times 'it's just a myth' and then you left the bathroom.

When you left bathroom and went to the classroom Mikasa immediately asked you where you were actually sounded worried as she looked up from her book "I went to the bathroom, nothing much" it was hard faking a happy tone when your throat was burning and you knew Mikasa didn't fell for it even tho she nodded anyways.

You went home and laid on your bed thinking about her. How her eyes perfectly match her hair, and how her headphones she always wear when entering school never ruin her hair

How she looks good in whatever she's wearing, her boring eyes complimenting her entire look.

She was so perfect, everything about her seemed magical. Even everything she did, it was perfect. Her tea was the best tea anyone could ever have, and the way she would buy you candy and smile warmly at you, it would always melt your heart. The way she looked at your orbs giving you butterflies every time because goddamn hers were were beautiful.

"Okay we got it her eyes are beautiful, stop thinking about them" saying that to yourself didn't help because you continued thinking just about them. Listening to music a single tear slid down your cheek remembering that she won't ever be yours, and you'll never had that perfect romance people secretly dream about

Then, out of nowhere, you started coughing, you started coughing so bad and when you opened your eyes you saw 2 single petals. Your eyes widened with tears still in them "I- I thought this was a myth" your voice was so shaky, and you were so scared.  "wasn't this supposed to be her favorite color? This is mine favorite." your orbs widen at realization, but went back to normal fast it's just a coincidence with that thought you fell asleep.

The next day

As you woke up you met your eyes with the petals that reminded you of what's happening. You have a hanahaki disease, and it's because of Mikasa, but again you were happy it was her and not somebody else. You got ready for school quickly and arrived just in time of your class.

Finding her eyes looking at you with worry you gave her closed eyed smile and turned towards board. And she was glad you turned away so you didn't see her blush. Smiling to herself she focused on board as well. She was still worried about you, a lot but she just couldn't let it ruin the little moment you shared. Bell rang, and next thing you knew Sakura was right in front of you. You immediately blushed and internally cursed yourself.

"Hey y/n" "Hm? Oh, hey Mikasa!" Her face was so close to your's, your noses were almost touching, but then she sighed and pulled away. A smile creeped way onto her face and she asked "Are you Okay? You seem a bit down, and you're either late at school or like come a full minute before classes."

Making a pause she continued "Not to judge, but like you're usually at school pretty early" Sighing, you said a complete lie "I am just tired, nothing to worry about, but I am staying up on phone and then I oversleep" Mikasa againbknew you were lying, but she decided not to push you any further, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. The bell rang and she sighed "Okay then, we should get ready for class" You smiled and nodded.

In the class you would glance at each other and passed massages. It was geography, and your teacher wasn't paying attention to class, as usual, and you were free to pass massages without her acknowledging. Every time she passes you massage she would see your flushed face, but she didn't think about it a lot. I mean, you never really told her you're not straight, so she had no idea. She always felt like you were hiding something, but she had no idea what exactly, it was killing her. It made her worry because you were coughing pretty often.

Before you knew class was over. Everyone went to canteen where they were fighting over food. Mikasa and you were already sat because she brought launch from home, and you couldn't eat. She did ask you few times if you wanted her food which you always denied not wanting to be a burden, yet once she asked you for what felt like 100th time you said yes.

Once you ate you felt like you were going to throw up so you went to bathroom and petals started flowing from your mouth all covered in blood. Once you were done you felt lightheaded, just wanting help but too stubborn to ask for it, too embarrassed of the story getting around and people, more importantly her knowing.

May 21st

It felt so long since you found out about your hanahaki, but in reality it hadn't been even a whole month. You didn't know for how long you had actually had it since patels don't come immediately, but you knew it wasn't going good for you.

Going to school you felt so weak you almost tripped over multiple times and fell asleep on the street. Once you finally came in classroom you dropped on the chair with head in you hands. Feeling like you could fall asleep at the moment but you felt someone tapping your back. You looked up and saw Mikasa a little smile immediately painting on your face.

"Hey" you said weakly and she smiled at you responding with much more energy, it seemed weird since you were always the one more energetic. Her energy didn't change, but yours became so low that the difference could be spotted from a far.

The whole day you couldn't focus and felt so lightheaded, but every time the teacher called you seemed to know the answer. When the day ended you felt so happy because it felt like forever.

Getting home you got confused onto why this whole disease got so bug so quickly but you remembered that your immune system was never particularly good, and on top of that your mind would always get onto things to quickly, and this being a disease of both suddenly it made sense.

June 12th

You felt so incredibly weak, nothing could get you out of bed. The time had come? You thought and it really felt like it did. The time had come so quickly, but you suddenly were certain it did. Yet, going with so many regrets felt so wrong. You wanted last thing you did to be letting her know

Your finger was on call button about to press, but feeling to scared you gave up. With a sigh you opened your messages and decided to text her instead. I love you

That's all that was written because you were to weak for anything else. Feeling overwhelming pain in lungs you knew it was it, the time had come. You started coughing, coughing so bad, but no one was there.

Loneliness, it was only thing you felt. But at least you were going to die without regret of her not knowing. It was a thing making you sad, but sort of happy at the same time.

Your phone was ringing but you couldn't answer, not now, or ever again. The end so near, yet seemed so far. The coughing was finally done and you looked at the full rose, covered in blood, in your hands, with soft smile of seeing your favorite color you fell down.

After only five minutes you barely heard someone coming in apartment that you forgot to lock. Mikasa came to you running and at the sight of the rose covered in blood her eyes filled with horrid and she started shaking you and your eyes meekly opened.

When she saw it, she said, with tears in her eyes "I love you too." Your eyes widened and you started coughing again, coughing up the whole root of flower. And then, you felt so much better. It had all gone out, leaving you with relief.

"You could've said it earlier" Mikasa said with tears in her eyes and you gave her full smile and scratched the back of your neck telling her you were scared. She sighed and hugged you, you hugged her back and that's how you stayed for the longest.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" you asked and she smiled softly replaying "Yes, and don't think you can ever get rid of me" you laughed softly and replied "I'm not intending to"

The end

Sakura Nanamine x gn! reader

Word count: 1.4k

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Flower shop AU!

You were sitting in your small flower shop sipping tea, waiting for someone to arrive. It had been a full hour since last costumer had arrived so you had a time to take break. Although it was small your flower shop was really successful and a lot of people would even comes only to see all different kinds of flowers you had owned.

While sipping tea, you noticed how sun started to fade and sky turned into beautiful splash of warm colors. Noticing someone approaching the store you prepared yourself mentally. When the person entered the store you went to greet them. "good afternoon, can I help you?" asking a simple question you offered a warm smile that the girl didn't offer back.

"Yes actually, do you have white jasmines?" her green eyes looked bored focusing on yours while asking the question. Processing it, you nodded and signaled her to follow you. She did and when you had showed her the jasmines her eyes didn't have the bored look anymore, that look was replaced with the look of adoration.

The light reflected perfectly at her green hair making her look even more mesmerizing. Her clothes were modest, yet fit her beautifully. She was indeed really beautiful, that for a hot second you caught yourself staring. Luckily, she didn't notice since her eyes were still fully focused on jasmines.

"These are the most wonderful flowers I have ever seen, who had planted them?" her eyes were still planted onto flowerpot while asking the question. You offered a smile and proudly said it was you. She looked impressed and asked for a price, which you obviously gave to her. She looked happy buying the flowers and actually said bye when leaving the store.

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A few months had past since you met Sakura. Since then, she would come regularly, sometimes she would buy something, sometimes she would just look around, and other times she would just come for a talk with you. As time went by she became more open and comfortable around you.

She had mentioned a lot had happened in her secondary school and she was so happy to go to collage and totally move from her hometown. You had never asked what was it about, since you didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

This day hadn't passed any different than others, everything was completely fine and in harmony. You loved the times like this, no stressing out, just peace. That's why you had opened a flower shop, because flowers would give you peace you would need, and now, they gave you a close friend.

While everything was going fine and you were sipping tea and humming a song you had found yourself thinking about Sakura. You didn't know why, she had left just like fifteen minutes ago, yet these only two eyes you think about are those green, bored once. You hadn't found it troublesome at first, but you think it had started getting weird. No matter how much you tried, you can't get her out of your head.

Sighing you realized it is time to close the shop. You did so and went straight to bed. Thing about your shop was that it was downstairs from your apartment making it easier for you to always be there on time. Going to bed you had slowly started drifting off to sleep.

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It had been a full year since you met Sakura, and everything was still same. Except, you had realized that you've been falling deep in love with her. But who could blame you, from her looks to her personality when you get to know her. Sakura was just perfect.

You didn't know what she thought about you, neither did you want to know.

Today you were on a day break because you needed a bit rest. Only times where you weren't working you were ill, while you do sincerely love your shop, you did want to have a day off.

You were still wrapped in your blanket in your pajamas while reading book. It was a book about flower meanings. You loved reading it and thinking about the meanings as a form of flower language. That book was your all time favorite and you remember waiting for it. Thinking about that memory you smiled to yourself and sighed. As time passed you got up to make yourself breakfast when it hit you,

You were going to confess to Sakura, but through flowers. Red tulips would do the job for sure, but you didn't yet know how, when an idea crossed your mind. You were planning everything in your notes when you heard your phone ringing. Seeing Sakura's name on the screen, you smiled and answered.

"Hi" you started on which she responded greeting you the same way. "Are you free to hang out?" she asked and you agreed. You planned where to meet and you dropped your plans for later.

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Few days later you asked Sakura if she knew about the meaning of flowers, and their language. She said she didn't know but was interested in learning it, which made you happy.

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It was Sakura's birthday, and you had planned something special. That's why her eyes were tied while you were leading her to her surprise.

When you arrived you had put the blindfold off her eyes. She saw so many flowers around her and figured you were in botanic garden. Letting out a small wow she occasionally hugged you and thanked you.

The green haired girl was making a bouquet, while you were making a flower crown out of red tulips in the section for it. You were finishing it when you saw Sakura struggling to make a bouquet so you decided to help her.

As time passed it was time to go and before you left you had put a flower crown on her head, and for a second getting a surprised reaction from green eyed girl.

You walked her to her dorm and that's when she spoke out again "Thank you. This has been the best birthday I had" you just smiled and told her that's she doesn't have to thank you. Surprising her with hug she was left shocked for a second before hugging you back. If time could stop this would be the perfect moment, because all you wanted was to stay in this moment,

But that can't happen and soon enough it was time to leave. Saying your byes you went home to process all of this.

You didn't know if you had succeeded with confessing, but you did hope you had. With that though in your head you had drifting off to sleep.

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Some time had passed since your attempted confession. And nothing had happened, you though that she was just too nice to reject you. But it didn't matter since neither of you brought it up.

You went to her dorm, because she called you to hang out and when you got there it was unlocked, but you couldn't find anyone. Soon, Sakura came and apologized for being late, saying she had to shower.

The green haired girl lead you somewhere and when you came there you noticed it's your favorite restaurant.

"Oh my God, I didn't expect we'd go on dinner, especially here, it's beautiful" saying that you flashed a closed eye smile and you could swear you saw her blush a bit for a second after opening her eyes, but you decided to brush it off.

"So, um,, I actually called you because I need to confess something" the green eyed girl said and now your full attention was on her, you nodded her to continue which she did, after moment of silence and taking a sigh, showing her nervousness "I had been in love with you, for a while actually. I like everything about you, from your looks, to your personality, and I'm sorry if you don't like me back, you don't have to. I just wanted you to know this"

She finished it off and you saw just how nervous she was. You started laughing a bit, and she looked at you embarrassed and asked "Hey! Why are you laughing?" "because you were so nervous! Also I thought you knew I liked you. I mean because of flowers I gave you on your birthday" after hearing your answer she had a deep shade of red across her checks. A moment of silence takes over the table and you decided to break it,

"I know it's all sudden, but will you, Sakura Nanamine, be my girlfriend?" "Of course" Sakura answered more confident now.

And from that moment on you were partners that got their happily ever after

Oml, I literally already LOVE HERRRRR when I finish the fanfic I'm writing, I'm writing about her periodt.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR QUEEN BABY BADDIE AND. EVERYTHING

WE LOVE YOUUUU

Soulmates who weren't meant to be

Season 4 au!

Not confirmed relationship au!

Word count: 1,1k

Disclaimer: this goes after 9th episode and afterwards it is NOT CANNON, it doesn't contain manga spoilers.

Warnings: major character death, angst

She was there. Beautiful as always, Mikasa Ackerman. Her hair was short, but the prettiest you've ever seen, her eyes were grey, and just mesmerizing. How could one not fall in love with her? Sighing you realized you've been thinking about her for an hour already and you should head to another meeting for the situation with Marley.

You went to a meeting where everyone already was. When you sat yourself you nodded towards Yelena who started explaining next moves... You couldn't believe it,

You were going on an attack mission in Marley.

Once meeting was over you were in your room sitting on a chair next to table looking in distance.

This wasn't going to be good. You knew that you weren't strong enough to stay alive for the new mission, you knew it wasn't going to end well. You were afraid, afraid she will never know, and it wouldn't be fair if she didn't know. And you didn't want to let that happen, yet you couldn't talk to her, so you were writing her a latter. A latter expressing all of your thoughts and emotions, it was going to be latter she will get once you're already dead. You are going to give it to Armin once you're on airship. Writing the latter a single tear escaped your eye and hit the letter. That was it, you just knew it.

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The time came, you were on airship sitting next to Mikasa with a latter hidden in your uniform. You got out of your sit and went to Armin pulling him to side "What are you doing?!" he whisper-yelled and then you gave him latter saying "Armin, listen. I know I have no chance surviving this mission, it's impossible, I may be strong, but I can't put up with Marleys, so please, once I'm dead give this to Mikasa" Armin looked at you shocked after you finished, his look softened up and he nodded not wanting to make you feel worse, but before you went back he hugged you, for one last time. Secretly he just hoped he'll never have to give the latter to Mikasa. He looked back at you, sad look all over his face

When you sat next to Mikasa she gave you questioning look "What did you talk about with Armin?" you smiled and looked up "you'll know once this mission is over" you looked at her and smiled once again with closed eyes. Slowly you put your head on her shoulder asking her if it was okay, she only nodded which was enough to put a smile on your face.

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You were in war zone now. Shooting people but being careful not to shoot innocent civilians or even worse, kids. It went pretty good that for a moment you even had a hope that Armin won't have to give Mikasa the latter. A smile crept on your face as you thought about her, but your eyes were still focused on what's in front of you. Maybe it wasn't all worthless after all, maybe this won't be that bad, your hope was raising as time passed by, you couldn't wait coming back and hugging her.

Mikasa went to you to see how you were doing and you smiled at her. It was truly something that she couldn't describe, your smile was so warm even in situations like this. She can't help but lose her focus, only thing in her head were you and your mesmerizing smile. Out of nowhere you see bullet flying to her. You screamed and went to shield her with your whole body. You felt a bullet piercing through your back and you fell onto Mikasa.

With a little bit of strength that you had you went to your beck and Mikasa was in shock, once she realized what happened she shot the person who shot you and then turned to you. You whispered 'stupid hope' over and over again until she pulled your head to look at her. A soft smile was now placed on your face and you whispered "I'm sorry" and then closed your eyes. You knew that it was end, and you'll never get to be with her, yet you can't be sad. You were just full of hope, hope that she'll be okay. Your mind was numb, and you lost all the control in your body.

Mikasa was yelling your name, calling you over and over again, knowing that the hope is lost. She couldn't believe it. It's over. She didn't want to believe it, yet here we are, everything stopped in her eyes. Only thing important was you, you and only you. She didn't understand it, why did you apologize? It was her who lost focus, so why? But she knew that you won't respond to her anymore, so, why was she yelling at your dead body? She didn't know but she did, the screams of agony, she didn't want to believe she lost you.

Levi and Hange heard her so they went to search, once they saw your dead body they immediately knew what was up. They ran as fast as they could asking Mikasa what happened "it's my fault" was only thing that fell out of her mouth. Over and over again. Her voice barely above the whisper. They tried calming her down and asking her again "she was shielding me when I lost my focus,, I was thinking about her so much I couldn't even protect her or myself." when she finished Hange was calming her down telling her it was okay, and it wasn't her fault. Mikasa was hugging Hange so hard, no one had ever seen her like this. It was totally new for them. She lost her usual calm aura and was showing her deep hurt. Even Levi showed a lot of signs of worry and pet her back.

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Once they were back Mikasa had gone to your grave. Leaning on grave she sat in silence and soon enough she saw someone in distance.

It was Armin. He sat next to her in comfortable silence for few moments and then gave her the latter saying "They wanted me to give you this once they die... I hoped I wouldn't ever have to give it to you" she looked at the latter, then at Armin "I will leave you at peace now" He said and disappeared in distance.

She looked at latter and with a bit of hesitation opened it and started reading.

"Dear Mikasa,

If you're reading this that means I'm dead, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never had courage to confess to you, I'm sorry I never kissed you, married you. I know that this is hard, but please try being happy. That's my last wish, for you to be happy. Make new memories, try living your best life. Be sure to let people talk to you, and don't be too sad about me. Maybe I'm not here anymore, but that doesn't mean nobody else is, so don't be sad. And remember I'm watching you from above, hoping you to be happy.

Love, Y/n"

She looked at the sky with tears in her eyes but smile on her face. "if that's what you want then so it be, I will try being happy, for you. Y/n."

That's all she could have done, and all she did. But what else could have happened? After all, you were just,

Soulmates who weren't meant to be

The day of the fall

Mikasa x gn!reader

The confirmed relationship au

A little scenario bc I'm bored lmao

Season 1 au (bc I miss ymir and Christa wholesome times, plus Annie not being in a mf Cristal)

It's pretty wholesome

It was a normal day at survey corps, you didn't have any missions so you decided to hang out with your best friends, Ymir, Historia and Annie. Your girlfriend, Mikasa is with Eren and Armin which you're totally fine with, it's just that you don't see yourself in that friend group. Ymir and Christa are dating and unlike Mikasa and you they are never separate, which you were sometimes jealous of.

Today you were supposed to go to Caffè but Levi told you you can't which made you kinda mad and you occasionally called him short, and because Ymir, Christa and Annie defended you, your hang out is now cleaning, which isn't that bad since you're together.

You were cleaning the second floor next to window thinking about your girlfriend and what she's doing when you heard Christa yelling to call you, it got out of you and you somehow fell out of window. You were expecting *earth* and with sharply closed eyes you landed

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In soft arms.

Briefly opening your eyes, you're met with Mikasa's surprised eyes that soon tried turning angry but failed because she's way too soft for you. "what were you doing? How did you fa-" she didn't finish answering when Christa ran to you yelling your name asking if you're okay "um,, yeah Christa, don't worry" you said scratching back of your neck "oh and Mikasa, I was cleaning but was suddenly surprised by Christa so I fell" finishing the explanation you realized she was still holding you "You can let me go now, Mikasa" you said softly, but she shook her head "I'm gonna bring you like this to mess hall so everyone sees us" she said laughing a bit at the end. Your ears were already bright red "B-But that's embarrassing!" she just came back with 'I know' signaling it was her intention.