Testing Cartoony Variants Of Ya Boi

AN: HP OC-SI fic: hallow things 

1.5k rough beginning to an OC-SI fic, in which a modern OC gets inserted into the HP universe as the older sibling of Severus Snape, into the Snape family as a 11-year-old child. I wrote this about a year ago as a warm-up exercise and, though I don’t intend to ever properly write it, I occasionally revisit this fic idea to write warm-up meta snippets. 

+500 words snippet of an OC-SI thinking about the mechanics of HP magic through the Reparo spell. 

Never posted to tumblr or AO3 before; fic under the cut.  

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more of the jenna marbles stuff feat kakashi

submitted post

We need to rate Regulus’ sex-appeal in relation to his Hogwarts Professor position.

Astronomy 

Feral Stoner Regulus, the galaxies glitter in his eyes, always telling funny stories about his childhood that have the children go (O_o)??? How are you alive???

Charms

It’s in the subject’s name. Charms Professor Black is simply Prince Charming. Students have been known to faint when he smiles. He is what Gilderoy Lockhart tried so hard to be.

DADA

If you don’t want to get railed through the mattress by Professor Black it’s because you want to be the one doing the railing. (Or are not attracted to Tall Dark Handsome and Smart men and that’s valid.)

Herbology

Soft boy! Soft!!!!! So soft! And then he pulls out a flesh-eating plant that is both poisonous and venomous and goes :) I fed my friend’s cheating significant other to this cutie. He’s very openly an arsonist, but everybody is too busy simping to take notice.

History of Magic

He’s That Bitch. He’s got the tea and he’s spillin’. Keeping Up With Kardashians who, Lancelot and Guinevier went to the gardens UNCHAPERONED and oh yeah student A’s dad made out with B’s aunt in fifth grade. She was already engaged. The SCANDAL. Wears fitted vests and rolls his sleeves up.

Potions

Cryptid Regulus. Hair in a ponytail to keep it out of his face, black nail polish. Rumors are that he’s a Vampire. Nobody would mind if he took a bite.

Transfiguration

Feral Regulus. Probably rants about animal cruelty every once in a while as he’s poking the mouse/goblet with his wand. Will throw hands whenever, wherever, with whoever. Secretly a muggle boxing champion.

Flying/Quidditch

NYOOOMMMM Broom enthusiast and a broom snob. He snatches the Snitch and the spectators’ hearts alike!

Ancient Runes

VERY sexy. In the classic Professor Indiana Jones style.

Arithmacy

Stoner Regulus but like… pervitin in his morning coffee vibrating out of his body Regulus. Chalk powder everywhere… but is it really chalk powder??

Care Of Magical Creatures

Actual soft boy, but with Bounty Hunter Aesthetics. Combat boots and fingerless gloves. He’s too powerful

Divination 

Stoner Regulus, always halfway in the astral plane. Flowy hair, soft deep voice, lips gloss and painted nails. DEAD

Muggle Studies 

Practical lessons include posting tweets. The THIRST he gets. He reads them on his YouTube channel BuzzFeed style, completely deadpan.

Ancient Studies

Arsonist Regulus. The course includes making their own mummy. The disappearances are completely coincidental why do you ask

Alchemy

It’s a gang. They make drugs and forge money and Regulus is the king of the underworld.

Art/Muggle Art

They paint nibbling on brownies. Some of the sculptures *might* be hiding a murder weapon. Also, art forgery and theft. If the museum didn’t notice the switcharoo, you passed.

Music/Muggle Music 

Voice of an angel. The range. The passion. He has a cult following him.

Ghoul Studies

Jock Goth Regulus, probably does weed with Peeves.

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the first one punched me in the face and the others?? just kept on punching?? this is fantastic

i think reg would be the type of guy to refer to his friends as his girlfriends/wives/harem, but only his guy friends

"yeah, this is my wife, barty"

HAHAHA YES

R.A.B.

i don’t care if you’re shipping harry with ginny, cho, draco, luna, hermione, or the goddamn whomping willow

if harry is in any way good at romance, he’s wildly out of character

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

severus in the slytherin common room after calling an assembly: ok level with me, which one of you fucks opened the chamber of secrets? i promise i won’t get mad.

Everybody's so mad about Mud Eater Reg and People Licker Reg like do you people not have siblings? Like I would be catfighting with my bro and he's stronger, so when he had me pinned down and I couldn't squirm away, I just spat up at his face. It was very effective, even if some of it landed back on my face. And if you're telling me Slytherin Reg wouldn't bite, lick and spit and pull hair to win a fight I don't know what to tell you

i think everyone’s gone feral over mud eating regulus is because like. it’s regulus. when you think of him you think of cool, calm, collected but here here r making him into a fucking Goober

have any regulus centric fanfic recs??

honestly i don’t read much regulus or harry potter fics in general, so i only really have one fic rec which is this one or anything by lullabyknell :)