Megatronsmegatitties - :3

Sam: So, what's your type?

Farmer: Broken red flags that leave me unable to walk for the next 5-7 business days.

Sam: ...I have someone who you might want to meet

*the next day*

Shane: Who tf are you?

Farmer: He's perfect

Alternatively

Farmer: Who's that tall blonde guy who showed up a few days ago?

Sam: That's my dad

Farmer: ...

Sam: Please don't-

Farmer: Nice to meet you, son.

There is only one reason people date Sam in Stardew Valley

To my two friends who are aware of my Tumblr, yes I am absolutely calling myself out here, no I am not ashamed. To everyone else, your words are but fiction on my screen. Who am I to believe your thoughts when my own are already the truth of my mind?

I'm getting off track.

The only reason (aside from being good looking and really cool) I would date Sam is so that I can get it with his dad. I mean, have you seen him?

HE'S THE DILF THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.

I WOULD WORSHIP HIM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES TO BE WITHIN 10 FEET OF HIS GLORY. FORGET ROBIN, KENT IS THE TRUE QUEEN.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, ON MY FIRST PLAYTHROUGH, I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE RUGGED MAN TO ROCK UP AT MY DOOR TO SAY HI. HE CAME TO SEE ME ON THE FIRST DAY HE WAS BACK. I ALWAYS WONDERED WHERE SAM GOT HIS HOTNESS FROM AND BOOM. QUESTION ANSWERED.

Also, he sends you bombs through the mail. This man has balls of fucking titanium. The government bows to his will. He wants to send explosives to the local farmer through the mail service? Fucking let him, just make sure that the mailman is well insured. I will die to be with this man.

Love these dogs so much

"that ship isn't canon! that character isn't gay!" well thats not what the voices told me

Your annual reminder to not donate to Salvation Army!

Ultra Magnus: *Notices Brainstorm and Perceptor*

Ultra Magnus: They’re cute. I would put them on a boat.

Rodimus: You mean... you ship them?

reading mtmte with my friends and oh my god this is the funniest fucking response to bullshit I've ever read I'm taking this NOW

Paranoiacintervalssongic

A songic gender related to the song ‘paranoiac intervals/body dysmorphia’ by of Montreal

Created by me

-Lust