EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID

Get warm with papa

(For context this is a male rescue cat who climbed into an incubator full of orphaned kittens and went mine now)

Hey, that’s me

Made a sequal to my shitpost

Dont take photos of anyone at a protest. If you do, remove identifying information such as faces tattoos and metadata. All photos taken on a modern camera caries meta data, which tells the viewer where the photo was taken by what device and when. You can remove metadata in Adobe Lightroom with Jeffrey Friedl's Metadata Wrangler. Alternatively, there are online resources to do this. However, the best practice is to not take photos at all.

Waking up a sister

You know, when I first heard about an order of nuns who hunted succubi, I thought I'd be in danger, but honestly I'm thriving. I don't even need to hunt for prey anymore, I just show up in a village and within a day I've got a virtuous maiden offering herself up. Sure, they have to pretend like they're going to fight me off first, but their hearts are never in it and it always ends with them saying things like "leave this village alone, take me instead!" It's adorable, really. The way they tremble and whimper, you'd almost believe it was a noble sacrifice they were making, and not what they hoped for all along.

i actually think it's criminal that i have not yet seen a single opossum post in this "with mama" trend. they carry their babies on their backs!

let's explore with mama

Wiring that huge essay didnt make me less horny sadly.

Why NOT

siiigh some things are beyond our control

Affini video compilation of terrans who talk and move in their sleep.

Affini who have conversations with their florets while they're asleep about how cute they are ♡

Affini who puts a tiny camera in their florets collar so we can all see from their perspective what happens when the floret sleepwalks. Floret thinks they're going to the store but really the Affini is using their vines as a sort of treadmil and they never leave their room.

Affini timelapse videos of terrans moving wildly in their sleep, some move their legs constantly and others roll around everywhere. video highlight is a terran trying to take his shirt off while asleep, getting stuck, whining about it, having his shirt taken off for him, then settling back down. he was alseep that whole time and remembered none of this happening.

Affini posting threads and threads and threads of pictures of disoriented terrans who just woke up. all gushing about their cute little faces and the noises they make when they stretch out.

Affini sharing surveilance videos of florets chilling in cuddle piles together when one of them yawns and slowly everyone else yawns at least once.

Florn where an Affini whispers in their sleeping florets ear the whole time. The floret is asleep, this is an ASMR video where you get to watch the floret get needy and cum in their sleep from dreaming about what their Affini is saying they'll do to them.

Affini who takes their sleeping florets out for walks in baby carriers and strollers, with a pretty blanket giving them shade over their face and everything. At first the carrier was deeply humiliating but tbh the thing is cozy as fuck and the gentle rocking is pretty soothing and their vines are holding you so securely in the carrier so who cares its fuckin nap nap time

WE’RE WE HERE FUCK WE’RE SHIT QUEER UP