Reiss Mental Asylum / ２

e m p t y | 3

You went to the checkup as promisedー but unfortunately, your name couldn't be remembered. Dr. Jaeger said it was understandable; he explained to both Beatrice and you that when someone as amnesia, it's unknown when your memories will come backー it can take days, years, or maybe never. It was the harsh truth, but he had to stop your reckless actions; trying to remember when it was clearly you couldn't was highly dangerous for your health. He could notice how much damage the headaches were doing to you, so he had to stop it as soon as possible, even if upsetting you was a possibility.

That left you with your empty emotions. You couldn't feel a thing— Beatrice worried about how often you hold your emotions deep inside you, but you just couldn't react. The motherly woman always tried to cheer you up, but no smile appeared. You weren't happy, that was for sure. Headaches often overcame you, even if you didn't try to remember anything. It was difficult, but with the herbs Dr. Grisha told you about, it was bearable.

Grisha told you that even if you couldn’t remember, that wasn’t a reason to make new memories.

You wondered what he meant by that... but soon understood.

++++++++++++++

You meet someone niceー a blond boy called Armin. He was kind, and helped you with your reading. You saw him being picked by the town's bullies, an annoying group of three kids.

They picked on you too, but you didn't do anything against them. They pushed you and laughed at you, and you just take it, not caring too much. Sometimes, you could see Eren watching you in the distance, while the three buffoons pushed you, making you fall on the ground. He just looked at you behind some house, maybe not realizing you noticed him. There was a day you crossed eyes with him— your eyes were dull and lifeless, and he just ran away.

You didn't like him.

But back with Armin, you remembered walking trough town for delivering some Beatrice's cookies, and you saw a blond kid being pushed between the three kids, and you could hear harsh words being throwing at him.

You couldn't explain it, but something deep inside you didn't like the situation at all— this was totally unfair.

You decided to take matters on your own hand.

Approaching them silently, they didn’t noticed you until you were behind one of the bullies, which he turned around to see you in confusion and sneer.

“Uh? Look what we have here! The freak!” He laughed, while the other too joined with him.

“What? You decided to join good-for-nothing Armin here? Because if—”

“Let him be.” You softly spoke, surprising the bullies for a mere second. It was slightly impressive — since you got here, you never talked back to them at all. Not even a whimper from their punches.

“Ohoho, the freak can talk? Let’s hear what he has to say with a punch in the gut!” The bully threw a punch at you, but you quickly dodged it without a problem. Seeing as their partner needed help, the other two bullies began to fight you too.

But you didn’t feel ‘you’ at that moment— it was familiar... as if the strength you had at that moment was from someone else’s.

Dodging every punch, you could see the bullies getting irritated and tired by their foolish fight. Without much thought, you could feel your body moving on it’s own— grabbing the bully by his forearm, you kicked the back of his feet and he roughly met the floor on his back.

The other two only stood there watching in fear. After all, how a small form as yours could knockout someone as big as him? You looked at them, and your lifeless eyes only made them feel a shock of fear. Approaching them slowly, they stood their ground and didn’t back off from the fight.

But just as you knocked the other out, they weren’t much of a problem either. Receiving punches and kicks, the bullies quickly carried their friend and ran away from you, with a look of fright on their bruised faces.

You only watched as they quickly left, sometimes falling and looking behind, only to see your scary eyes.

Worried about the kid, you turned to see him— he was on the ground, looking at you in amazement. His blue eyes were widened, and his mouth slightly gaped.

“Are you... alright?” You softly spoke, looking if he had any injuries, but it looked you were just in time before they got more physical.

The blond blinked a few times before answering clumsily, “a-ah! Yes! Thank you for defending me! T-That was... amazing!” He hadn’t no one to defend him if it wasn’t a friend– he was truly grateful. He smiled with a blush on his cheeks, looking at you in admiration.

Spotting the book he was holding, curiosity overcame you. You crouched, supporting your elbows on your knees and placing your hands on your cheeks, looking at the big book. "What are you reading?"

The blond unconsciously hold his book tighter, wrapping his little arms around it protectively. He looks unsure about answering, for some reason. "Uhm..." He stuttered, and no answer came out of himー was it something personal? Full of his dirty secrets?

Blinking, you seriously asked, with no hint of derision in your voice. "Is it your diary? Looks pretty big for one."

He instantly blushed in embarrassment— the blond felt actually ashamed and indignant hearing it. His book wasn't nothing like that at all! "AーAbsolutely not!! This is not a diary!!"

"What's is it about, then?" You tilted your head to the side, waiting for an answer.

He stays in silence. He looks unsureー his eyes look at the book and then to you, as is you were going to hurt it in way. You are patientー waiting for his answer, you just stare with a blank expression.

The blond seems to make up his mind, because he answers, "...it's a book from the outside."

"The outside? As... outside these walls?"

His eyed spark, "Of course! Far away from here!"

"Outside..." you wondered... how far away you could remember? The only far place you remember going was the forest. “Can I read it?”

Again, the kid looked unsure about it. Bur fortunately, he decided he could trust you. He nodded, opening the big book, you sitting besides him. “Here! If you want to read it...” he pointed a paragraph with a small illustration of... something blue.

Focusing your gaze on the words, you tried to read them. But as you expected, you didn’t understand anything of it— a soft whimper left your mouth, and the blonde got worried by your irritation. Wasn't it... extraordinary?

“Uh? What is it?” He looked worriedly at you, feeling disappointment.

“I can’t read.” You plainly stated, tilting your head, looking at him with your dull eyes. He blinked at you, not sure on how to react. Nevertheless, he didn’t laugh— not even a chuckle.

“Do you want me to... read it for you...?”

Nodding, he smiles and reads the paragraph about “lands made of ice”. You can’t imagine something like that— but it makes you wonder. Your eyes spark with interest, and your curiosity wants more, so you tell Armin to keep reading and explaining things to you.

“Hey! Maybe I can teach you how to read and write, if you want.” He speaks gently to you, taking a break of his book. It’s easy to say he likes you, and you like him.

You nod with a small smile on your face.

“Armin! Why are you with the weirdo?!”

Recognizing the voice, your expressionless face returns again, and Armin catches your change of demeanor.

“Eren! That’s rude!” Armin tells him, frowning. The brunette only tsks in return, glaring at you. “He defended me from the bullies!”

Eren’s gaze is on you still, but you don’t look at him at all. You stand up and dust your pants, ready to leave but Armin stops you. “Hey! Don’t go, we haven’t read the rest yet!”

“Armin! You can’t just let everyone see the book! You don’t even know this guy!” Eren yells, and the silent girl besides him pulls his ear, making him yell her name.

“Eren, why are you mean to him? He—”

“It’s alright. I have to deliver this, anyways. See you, Armin.” You look at him with a barely visible smile, and leave without looking at the brunette.

Watching you leave, Armin still remains frowning, hugging his book. “You don’t have to be like that with him. He’s nice.”

“Whatever. He’s weird.” Eren crosses his arms, pouting.

“Ah! He didn’t even told me his name...”

“He doesn’t have one.”

“Uh? What do you mean?” Armin looks at him in curiosity.

“My dad told me he doesn’t remember anything. Something about ‘amnesia’ or whatever. Now, let’s read more of your book!”

“Oh— right!” Armin smiles along with Eren, running towards the lake near the town.

The silent girl follows them, smiling secretly as she remembers how Eren wanted to know everything about the mysterious boy with his dad when he returned.

+++++++++++

You didn’t like Eren. And you knew he didn’t like you.

Sometimes you two fought not only verbally, but physically. Grisha was actually surprised by the two of you, Carla was disappointed in his son as she could see he was the one instigating you, and Beatrice was worried for both of you.

It was actually a nightmare to separate the two of you— Eren nor you wanted to let go from the other. Bloody noses, bruises and scratches were normally found on the two of you.

You always tried to ignore him, but he demanded attention by getting physical. Even Mikasa had a hard time separating you along with Armin. You couldn’t be with Armin because Eren was always irritating you, nor you could talk to Mikasa because she was always with him.

“He likes you, actually.” She told you sometime ago. You only raised your eyebrow, without saying much. It was one of the times were you could talk to her normally, while Armin and Eren were reading Armin’s book nearby. It was actually bearable staying like this, even if you weren’t able to read Armin’s book, talking with Mikasa was good.

And it seemed your relationship with Eren didn’t improve at all— when you saw him fighting with the bullies you didn’t help him at all. Just like he saw you being picked on by various kids, leaving without saying a word.

Carla and Beatrice were worried and disappointed that their boys couldn’t be together at all— it was unfortunate.

Grisha only said to ‘give it time’. He always told to Carla that he knew Eren didn’t actually hate you, and he was just confused by his feelings. Carla laughed, agreeing with him.

Something changed one day when you were in Dr. Jaegers house, as he did his usual checkups on you. You were stressed; more headaches with unusual pain overcame you, nose bleeds, and the fights with Eren was stressing you out more than usual. You had nightmares you couldn’t remember, and not even the tea Beatrice did was helping you.

Grisha did everything to help the pain disappear, but nothing worked. Carla and Mikasa weren’t on the house currently— leaving Grisha, Eren and you alone. You couldn’t bear the headaches anymore— they hurt too much!

“Eren boil water in the pot, I will get the herbs.” Grisha commanded, seeing how tight you were holding your head.

“What?! I’m not doing anything for hi—”

“Eren!” Grisha yelled, making Eren jump, “I don’t care about your problems right now! Stop acting like that and obey!” The doctor’s face was all serious and irritated, but he managed to stay put. Eren stayed still for a second, but went to the kitchen to boil the water.

Grisha left to get some herbs from the other room, leaving you laying on the couch with a warm cloth over your head. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for you— your whimpers and cries could be heard, sometimes you were hyperventilating. Eren watched you in worry, seeing how much blood was pouring from your nose.

The doctor returned, telling Eren to get him a teacup with the hot water. Quickly, the older man helped you sit to drink the tea, you could barely hear him talking to you, but drank the liquid nevertheless. You couldn’t even register how hot the tea was and how it burned your tongue, as the headache was getting worse.

“Clean his face.” Grisha told his son, as he left in a hurry again to the other room. Eren frowned, he didn’t want to do it. But he knew his dad was going to be mad at him, so he obeyed, once again.

Grabbing a cloth, he clumsily tried to clean your face, but he made it worse. Your whole face was covered in blood— it looked like a nightmare. “What... are you... doing...?” You breathlessly spoke, looking at him but at the same time trough him. You knew he wasn’t doing a great job— you just did.

“Hey! I’m trying to help you! I don’t even—“

“Eren! What are you doing?!” Grisha yelled, making Eren take some steps back from his horrible job at cleaning. The doctor grunted, “just– just give me a clean cloth and a bucket full of water.” He had a syringe on his hand with an unusual color in it. He took your arm and told you, “this will hurt a little bit, but please stay put.” Slowly, he injected you, but you didn’t feel it, or rather reacted to it.

Slowly, you began to feel relaxed, as if you were shutting down. But you were crying— many tears fell from your face while you sobbed. Looking at Grisha, your broken voice said, “I’m never going to remember, right? I will never remember who they were, right?!” The doctor could hear the desperation in your voice, how angry and sad you sounded.

Eren watched you, feeling... upset.

“I... I want Beatrice...” You felt sleepy, your eyes began to close as you were still crying. Grisha’s hand was on your back, and slowly helped you to lay again. You blinked a few times, looking at nothing in particular before whispering and falling asleep, “mom...”

Grisha sighed, passing a hand trough his hair. As Eren gave him what he asked for, the doctor began to carefully clean your face, as Eren stood besides him, watching your troubled face. He tried to cover his worry with an uninterested tone, “is he going to be alright?”

“He will. Hopefully I won’t use this again on him.” He looked at the syringe for a brief second. “The pain was worse than before... but what is causing it...?” The doctor wonders.

Eren just sits on the floor, unsure and worried about you. You looked in a lot of pain, a kind of pain a child shouldn’t feel. He thinks in the times he has fought you, taking advantage of your headaches. He feels so low, a bully— the ones he fights to protect Armin.

His eyes widened at the realization— was he... the bad guy in your life? Eren pouts, averting seeing you. He actually was interested in you... but seeing how you didn’t even look at him made him angry. Why could you smile at Armin and Mikasa but not him?

Eren had a lot in his mind, and you were invading every bit of thoughts on his head.

After...

Grisha told Eren to go to Beatrice and get her take you home. The woman hurried with worry on her face, and with the help of Grisha, returned you to her home. Not quickly after that you got a severe fever– hallucinating, whispering nonsense, talking to Beatrice as if she was someone else... It was pretty bad. Grisha didn’t know if you were going to make it— nothing cured you. Eren, Mikasa and Armin were worried. Sometimes Armin read his book with you, while Mikasa helped Beatrice with her pastries, and Eren surprisingly took care of you. Carla supported Beatrice too, saying you were going to fight the fever and be alright soon, but it was hard.

You didn’t give any signal of waking up.

^^^^^^^^

“Why aren’t you waking up? It’s been a month!” Eren speaks to you, knowing you wouldn’t answer. You just lay in the bed, with a frown on your face. It’s been the sixth time he had to change the warm cloth on your head– Beatrice is downstairs while he takes care of you. He doesn’t mind now; he wants to be near you. “Everyone is worried! You—! You weirdo...”

Since the moment he saw how you suffered the other day, he wanted to apologize to you. He felt regret. Everyone was waiting you to wake up, so why didn’t you?! “Please, wake up! We... We don’t even know your name!” Tears fell from his face while he tightly took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours’. “Please...”

Immediately, your body began to shake uncontrollably. This was Eren’s que to get his dad as fast as he could. Running downstairs, he yelled to Beatrice what was happening while he ran to his dad to help you. Thankfully he was home with his mom, he ran to him and took his hand, pulling him while he yelled what was happening. Grisha couldn’t understand anything Eren was saying, but the doctor understood what was the problem. Getting his instruments with the help of Carla, the two ran to your house, the door already open when they arrived.

Beatrice was trying to help you, but it was with no avail. Grisha quickly approached your small form, while Eren looked worried and helped Beatrice. The doctor injected you with his syringe on your arm, making you stop slowly. Whimpers came out of your mouth, along with more nonsense.

“Protect...” You barely whispered, “king... walls... they...” More nonsense that nobody cared for— they couldn’t understand what you were saying.

Grisha spoke to Beatrice while Eren watched you. He sat besides you, taking your hand, holding it tightly. The two adults go downstairs, talking about you and what could happen.

“Hmn...?” Eren heard you moving and whimpering, and he couldn’t believe it— you were waking up! He watched as you clumsily tried to sit, rubbing your eyes. The brunette couldn’t hold himself, and he hugged you as tight as he could, making you confused of what was happening. “Uh...? Eren...? Why are you hugging me?” You spoke, feeling your throat dry. There was a hint of irritation in your voice – what was he doing?

“You are finally awake! I thought you will sleep forever!” Eren yelled, holding you even tighter. His head was hiding on your neck, and you could feel something wet on it– was he... crying? Eren crying for you?

“What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything. And why are you so happy to see me?” What just happened while you were ‘asleep’?

“You had a high fever! We thought—“ Eren stops, immediately breaking the hug, as he realized something important, “I have to tell the others!” He left the room as fast as he could, leaving you dumbfounded.

What happened?

After that, Beatrice came to the room, hugging you immediately while she was criyng. She explained everything that had happened, while Eren got his dad to check on you. He said everything seemed fine now – but he recommended being careful with your health.

Weird enough, your relationship with Eren got better. But being honest, you didn’t like him at all. But he... somehow changed around you. He defended you from the bullies, always tried to talk to you— and even if you tried to ignore him, he sometimes grow irritated but persistent. Mikasa and Armin told him he had to be patient– something that he clearly wasn’t. He even yelled at you, crying ‘why don’t you let me talk to you?!’ so desperately. It surprised you; old Eren wouldn’t even want to talk to you.

Gaining your friendship was hard, but thanks for Armin and Mikasa advice and help both of you grew as friend, surprisingly enough. No more physically fights, no more snarky comments, no more separation between all of you.

It was nice. You gave him a chance, and he took it.

The four of you were the happiest friends— and even if the everyday was repetitive and boring, nothing was better than being with them.

You hold these memories dearly.

+++++++

Living with Beatrice was peaceful. The kind woman took you in when she heard your situation— you not having no memories about your past whatsoever, all alone in these walls you just recently knew about. So when she was prying what the soldiers where saying, she took pity on seeing your little form behind the blond's man leg, looking uncomfortable and frightened.

How would you have survived all alone? The only option for you may have been the 'underground' rumors she heard about. That wasn't going to happen to you if she took you in— so she did.

You were a... quiet boy. Observing you, she could see you really didn't know how to react around other people— it seemed you didn't know what to say. Maybe you were introvert, or just awkward, Beatrice thought.

Nevertheless, when you were with her you slightly changed. You talked a bit more than before. When you first came with her, you didn't say much— you didn't even say when your head began to hurt! She always engaged you in conversations, and little by little you gave in. She was happy. Beatrice even noticed you liked affection; how you hugged her leg or asked for a kiss on the head. You were a beautiful kid.

Beatrice didn't know what to call you– you didn't remember your name, and she just didn't want to name you just like that. She gave you time to try and remember something before choosing other options, and you somehow succeeded.

+++

"Oh, honey, do you have a headache again?" Beatrice asked you, seeing how you tried to calm down the pain, placing your hands on your temples. You nodded, closing your eyes. "Just give me a minute— I will make tea as fast as I can, honey!"

You had headaches pretty often. She had to take you to Doctor Jaeger's house when she saw blood pouring from your nose when the pain was unbearable. He recommended some herbs, along with placing a warm cloth on your head. He looked pretty taken aback by your situation, and tried to help you and Beatrice with all he could, along with her wife, Carla.

And this seemed like one of these times when the pain was unbearable. You were grunting and tensing — so Beatrice hurried and laid you on the couch that was on the living room. Placing the cloth she warmed on your head, the woman hurried and took the tea, returning to you. Helping you sit, she approached the tea cup to your lips, swallowing it little by little.

The remedy helped you bear the pain a little, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt. She could tell by your tensed features— how your eyes tightly closed, your eyebrow furrowed and your small hands hardly grabbed your clothing or pressed them against the sides of your head.

And as if the pain went away. you quickly opened your eyes, blinking repeatedly. She placed the tea cup on the small table, "are you alright, hon? Does your head still hurt?" She worriedly asked, gently patting your head.

You looked at her, not saying anything at first. She could tell you were trying to form your words, so she patiently waited.

"I think my name is... [Name]." You stated, looking lost. "No... I'm sure '[Name]' is my name." you said more confident, slightly smiling— a sight she didn't see until now.

"[Name]... that's a wonderful name, dear!" Beatrice happily said, kissing your temples. "Did you remember your last name, [Name]?"

You shook your head a little disappointed. She quickly acted and said, "No worries, [Name]! I'm sure you will pretty soon!" Taking the cloth off your head, she went to the little kitchen and stated, "What does an apple pie sound? To celebrate you remembering your name!"

You quickly nodded, eyes sparkling. She giggled seeing your lighten face— a feature you didn't often show to anyone but her and her pastries.

+++

Unfortunately, you didn't remember your last name at all. The only thing you remembered was your name, and that was it. Anything you tried to remember made you have headaches, and in the worse cases made you have nosebleeds. So the woman decided to not to remember anytime soon— and you just accepted it. The check-ups with Doctor Jaeger said so too.

So you just stayed with the kind woman. Beatrice baked bread and other pastries in her little kitchen, and you helped her with giving deliveries and giving a hand on the kitchen. You quickly learned how to bake all kind of things thanks to her.

+++

"But remember, [Name]— this is our secret, alright?" She whispered at you, making you smile and nod. The pastries' recipes were only know by Beatrice and you, and even if some people gave you money for them, you always said no.

Your bond with her was strong— she loved you as her own son and you learned to love her, too.

+++

Beatrice heard the front door open, seeing your little form coming in with a little bag on your hand.

"Delivery completed! Here's the money." You said, handing her the small bag, which she took. "Miss Cordelia wanted to know the recipe, again. I told her I didn't know it at all, but she doesn't believe me..." You showed a small smile, looking at Beatrice.

"Thank you, dear. Cordelia has wanted this recipe the first time she tried the bread— but this is our secret, right?"

You laughed, "yes, mom!" and when the word left your mouth, you quickly covered it with your hands, looking embarrassed.

Beatrice was taken aback too— you never have told her mom before, and even if she dreamed about it, the woman didn't want to pressure you with something like that.

"U—Uhm... sorry, miss Beatrice..." you apologized, looking upset. You shifted your gaze at your feet, with hands behind your back.

She quickly noted your tensed form, and tried to reassure you. She crouched to be at your height, and warmly said, "[Name], you can call me mom all you want. You know I love you, right?"

The statement made you quickly look at her, with your eyes widened. You blushed and hugged her, surprising her, but quickly returning the hug.

"Mom..." you said again, hiding your face on the crock of her neck. She patted your back, kissing your head.

You two stayed like that for minutes, before Beatrice broke the silence.

"Hey, [Name]..." She tried to take your attention, which she received a humm in return, "would you like to use my last name?" the sudden question made you shift your form so you could look at her. Worried, Beatrice hurriedly tried to explain herself, "only if you want to, dear! I've been thinking about it— but if you don't, that's alright, love. I just was—"

"I would like to." You quickly answered, looking shy. The reply made her excited,

"Really, [Name]? Would you like to be [Name] Knight?"

" e re e 's Knights!"

Your head began to hurt, but just as the unknown voice came, it left, along with the headache.

"I would love to, mom.

Did you quit

nope, it's just a long hiatus because of life, and that has affected my inspiration and mood for writing :c

also, since reading my stuff again has made me cringe so badly, i think i've decided to rewrite/overwrite RMA and empty because it is soo bad... although i have mostly written rma's next chapter, i'm not sure when i will finish it :C

honestly, seeing these two works public makes me so stressed LOL. i hope readers dont take them the wrong way, although they are really bad omg. i've wanting to erase them completely, but i know there are people who come back to re-read them and i guess that is stopping me.

hopefuly i can write small stories or oneshots for more than the aot fandom, so don't be mad at me if im not updating those two series!

also, empty got a russian translation 9 months ago, and i just completely forgot i had messages here. so check if out.

i know there are asks that havent been answered... (っ◞‸◟ c)

this is the most beautiful thing i ever seen in my life

Flower Curse | C. Look for the doctor

emptiness ending

[levi x male!reader x erwin] vomiting; hanahaki disease, angst. C. Look for the doctor

You decide to find the doctor Ziegler told you about— maybe he would have more answers for the matter. You didn't exactly know if this 'Timothy Eisenhower' would be any help; Barry mentioned the doctor didn't have any patients with this illness, so the chances of success were already slim in your mind.

Nevertheless, you think this is the best option. You don't want to die suffocated by flowers— that's not how you wanted to go, and not this soon. You wanted to live— live to explore the outside world along with your comrades.

Yes, that's what you are going to do. Determinated, you nod to yourself, leaving the cold room.

___________________

"Now?"

"Yes, right now."

Erwin closes his eyes, thoughtful. "I can't go with you— the expedition is in two days and—"

"I'm not asking you to come with me." You bluntly say, interrupting him, "I just need the address Barry gave you– I'm a big boy, Erwin. I can go alone." Crossing your arms, you look expectantly at him, waiting for the paper.

The blond sighs, calming himself; trying not to get too stressed with your childish behavior. No way in hell he will let you go alone in your current state— even if you act like a teenager and throw tantrums, Erwin will not allow you going by yourself. Who knows what would happen to you? You could faint; you could throw up in front of the Military Police and god knows what they will do to you. Hell, even Erwin could think of–

"Hey, Erwin! Time doesn't wait!"

The commander rubs his temples, trying to think who could accompany you. Hange and Moblit are not available at the moment, and they are the only ones who know about your illness. He knows you will not talk to anyone about the curse, but he just will not allow you going by yourself.

Erwin has only one choice, "Mike will accompany you."

You blink, surprised, "Mike? But he doesn't know about this... I think it's better if–"

"You will not go alone— you won’t go outside without any company. You are absolutely forbidden going by yourself, am I clear, [Name]?" Erwin demands, looking fiercely at you, making you uncomfortable and gulp by the sudden tension in his voice.

Well, when Erwin was acting like this there wasn't much room for demands. You sigh in defeat, making him relax by your change. The blond wasn't pleased by any means using this tone with you— but if it made you obey him, then he had to obligatory use it.

"In any case, I believe Mike has his suspicions. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned anything."

"Alright, alright... Mike is it, then."

__________________

Fortunately, Mike wasn't a man of many words, so the traveling was spent in silence. It seemed Erwin had explained your situation to him, or maybe the tall man just somehow knew everything with his nose of his. Or maybe he didn't bother to ask at all— you weren't sure. Mike didn't really give out what he was thinking that easily.

You were transported to Wall Maria, but you had to walk to point A to B. The doctor was in a district not far from where your transportation left you— so Mike and you didn't mind walking.

"I've smelled different type of flowers on you." Mike suddenly spoke, thinking about something. "Some of them are unrecognizable, but I can smell they are flowers."

You snorted, "Thank you, Mike. That's the most flattering thing someone has said to me."

Mike ignored your joking behavior and kept talking, "and what is rare it's that every time I smell sickness and distress on you, some flower's fragrance appear." He finally looks at you with his stoic expression, "If my assumptions are correct, the flowers are somehow involved with your illness, right?"

You sigh, "You nailed it." Deciding that talking to him was for the best, the rest of the trip was spent by you explaining your situation. Mike listened carefully at everything you said— eventually, his nose could catch a hint of worry and anxiety coming from you. He could smell your distress, and he instantly noticed a certain soft smell— flowers incoming.

Instantly, he could see your face changing in worry, bringing a hand to cover your mouth.

"I—I have to vomit—" You hastily said, looking erratically for a place to hide your sickness. Mike quickly took your shoulders and helped you walk to a lonely alley, where he could see something he never had witnessed — you throwing up flowers. Pink flowers he had never seen or smell before.

You stopped throwing up, but a painful headache came, with the familiar feeling of something stuck in your chest. Mike helped you stand, while you tried to catch your breath.

"Let's just— look for the doctor..."

____________

Mike knocked on the door, with you beside him. You were feeling a little better, but your chest was left with the same feeling. You weren't breathing normally, but thanks to Mike's company you felt a little safer. You thanked Erwin for deciding not leaving you alone.

Not much after that, the door opened, revealing a man. His hair was black, and he showed a neutral expression— his blue eyes were staring at you in confusion.

"Hello gentlemen, what's the occasion?" The man asked, eyeing you too carefully.

You decided to talk, "I'll get straight to the point. I have the stupid flower curse and I need your help." You could see worry in all of his face; he was uncomfortable and tensed.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about, sorry." He said in hurry, closing the door. But thankfully, Mike reacted and stopped the door, leaving it slightly opened.

Was he going to leave you to die? The hell?! "Barry Ziegler told me about you, he said you could help me!" You yelled angrily at him, instantly making him stop.

The doctor looked at you, unsure. "Barry... Ziegler?"

"Yes! The writer!"

The man looked at you two for a couple of seconds, before reluctantly opening the door again. You sighed in relief.

"Come in." He said, letting you in. The man looked outside, seeing if anyone heard you, before closing the door.

_______________________

Timothy, who introduced himself after his little... act, placed tea in front of you. Mike and you were sat on a couch, with a small table in front of you. No one took the tea cups; Mike was with his arms crossed, and you were playing with your fingers on your lap.

"Sorry for my... attitude earlier," Timothy apologized, "It's just, I've been in a couple of problems thanks to this topic, so I had to be careful,"

"Don't worry— just, help me, please." You said, nervous. Mike, who could sense your worry, placed a hand on your shoulder, calming you a little.

The doctor could hear the worry in your voice, he could see your distress on your face— he felt sympathy for you, but he knew he couldn't promise anything.

"I will do everything I can."

After that, the doctor lead Mike and you to a room. It smelled like medicine and herbs; there were a lot of medic instruments you didn't really recognize.

"I will do a check-up, so can you sit here, please?"

You obey. He asks for you to open your mouth, which you uncomfortably do. He takes a look, and a small gasp gets out from his mouth.

Mike instantly asks what is it, worried about your health. The doctor stays in silence, before answering. And what you heard made both of you shiver.

“I can see… a flower growing...”

The room stays in a tensed silence, but the doctor continues with the check-up. After some minutes, he speaks again.

“Like I said before, I will do everything I can to help you. But you have to understand that my options are limited.” He waits for your response, but seeing you weren’t going to give an answer he proceeds, “I’ve been studying this disease for a long time, but with no patients, I haven’t treated anyone. But thanks my research, what I’ve concluded is that a surgery could work.

My hypothesis is that something inside you is growing— and I can clearly see something is in there. Nevertheless, I will be honest with you— surgeries are difficult, and with our limited instruments I don’t know if this could work, and I don’t know the outcome either.

I will ask you: are you completely sure you want to proceed knowing the risks?”

You already knew the risks before coming here. You have been in near death situations every expedition you are in; this isn’t much different.

“Yes, I understand.”

The doctor nods, “We can do the surgery right now, or do you want to-”

“Today.”

“Then follow my orders.”

___________

Mike waited in the living room, tensed. He has been in that house for nearly four hours— it was already dark outside. He didn’t know if he would go back to the barracks. It was logic you would need to rest here, so taking you with him wasn’t a good option, but leaving without you didn’t make him comfortable at all.

Eventually, the doctor appeared, sweating and looking exhausted. Mike wasn’t sure if the surgery was a success or not, and he couldn’t stop himself to worriedly ask.

“Did it work? Is he alright?” Mike got up from the couch, looking expectantly at the man.

The man sighed, before answering,

“It was a success.”

Mike let out a big sigh, relieved.

____________

You had to stay in his house after the surgery— you didn’t wake up right away. But when you opened your eyes, you spotted a blond sitting beside you, with his eyes closed.

You tried to shift your body, but a huge pain in your chest made you grunt. The sound woke up the taller man, and instantly set his eyes on you.

“[Name], how are you feeling? Don’t move too much— your stitches are fresh.” Erwin said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

You blink, disorientated. “W-What…? How did you get here? How long I was out?”

The blond sighs, “When Mike returned without you I nearly had a heart attack. When he told me about the situation I came as fast as I could. Also, you were out for one day.”

You just nod.

“Levi is worried— when he didn’t see you yesterday he barged in and demanded answers. I didn’t tell him the truth, but…”

You didn’t hear him anymore; instead, your head contemplated how hearing that name didn’t bring any feelings this time. No frenetic heart; no butterflies; no thoughts about him. It was… empty. In fact, hearing his name didn’t bring you any joy or hate— and you felt you weren’t in a friendship with him in any way.

In fact… you really didn’t feel anything. Seeing Erwin didn’t bring you comfort, but it didn’t make you tensed. You just… stared, blank. You didn’t feel a thing.

Erwin noticed your lack of attention, looking at your unreadable face— he instantly became worried. The blond always knew what you were thinking by your expressions; he always noticed your feelings right away. But he didn’t see anything; only… nothingness. He became preoccupied.

After that, Erwin called the doctor. Timothy did a check-up on you, and told both of you that maybe the outcome left a shock in your mind, resulting in you not feeling well mentally. He decided you were free to go, and said he wanted you to return for another check-up, to collect information about your recovery.

When you two returned to the barracks, a tensed silence overcome. The commander observed you, seeing your indifferent expression. Your voice sounded low and uninterested, and you barely spoke up.

Everyone noticed your change in demeanor, and they were rightfully worried. Your squad was beyond worried— but you couldn’t explain why you were like this, and you surely didn’t say a thing. It was as if… you didn’t care. As if the world could end and you couldn’t care less.

As expected, your talk with Levi didn’t go well. It went absurdly bad, and the only one who had his feelings shown was the ravenette— he couldn’t understand you at all anymore. It was as if you were another person; not his old friend. You didn’t react at all, you didn’t look for him, you didn’t talk to him.

It was a punch to the gut.

It was as if someone took your feelings away, leaving a vessel behind.

Yes, the petals stopped, but at what cost? Timothy told you maybe this was the outcome of the surgery— your mind changed by taking away the roots from the flowers, leaving you with anything. Tearing apart your feelings.

Erwin was upset by your behavior— he missed your old self. Yes, you were cured, but you weren’t the same. You didn’t talk anymore, your face didn’t show any sign of happiness. He couldn’t see the smile he loved, and that hurt. It did. He couldn’t stop himself to think about you every night, about what could have been if he approached you and embraced you, and he wasn’t very surprised a petal appeared in one of these lonely nights, thinking of you.

Levi was confused and angry. What happened to you? He liked the times were he could hear you laugh, but not there was nothing. Not even a small spark in your eyes, not a smile, not a blush. He was upset— he liked talking to you, and seeing you unresponsive... made him feel sadness. He missed you, and he was desperate when he finally could say that he wanted be with you in a romantic way, but that couldn’t be. You made no sign on wanting talking to him, and even if he approached you in the nicest way possible, you didn’t give answers. Even if he was aggressive, you didn’t give anything. It was as if you never were friends. He was hurt, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Yes, you were cured, but at what cost?

Are you happy with the choice you made?

When you check your word count, and it’s only at 20 words:

Are you still working on your Attack On Titan stories? Or are they discontinued? Sorry if I’m bothering you I noticed that you’ve been posting a bit. I hope you have a nice day and take care of yourself!

hi, anon! im trying to work on reiss asylum for the moment... very slowly, but making some progress.

and don't worry! these asks are not a bother <3 thank you for reaching out and i wish i could be a more competent writer LOL. but writing hasn't come to me as it used to.

thank you and i hope you are doing well aswell!!

“i’m heading to bed, goodnight ☺️”

me in bed:

I don’t know if you’re still active but I just want to say I love your writing. Very few works have nearly brought me to tears like your hanahaki disease fic did. Very well done. Your work is amazing!

Thank you sooo much!! 😭😭😭😭 you don’t know how happy your words made me. Thank you! Maybe it’s a little weird, but I’m happy to read you cried by reading my work. I truly believe that when I tried to be more angsty, it actually looked ridiculous and cringy. Again, thank you for words! Actually, I’m focused more on a (very) dark themed work called “Reiss Mental Asylum”, a yandere harem with aot characters! You can read it on my quotev, ao3 and wattpad! (I added my links!) I’ve been trying to publish it here, but my phone crashes tumblr a lot!! ;_; I traveled, so I don’t have a computer to publish them sooner… ;;;;

Male x Male reader blogs Suggestions

So, these are just some male reader blogs that I know of!

@softboy5393 - They are a really good friend of mines and writes amazing male reader stories. They'll also write trans.

@marilynmonroefanfics - if you like reading headcannons, then this blog is for you! He does take a while to do it but in the end, it's worth the wait.

@chaoticforever - If you like reading yandere males x male reader, this is the blog for you!

@pietroshusband and @callmeshakespurr - they are new authors on the scene! Go show them support!

@iliumheightnights - You like reading fluff and angst (happy ending) then this one is for you!

@clouddd-hannn - Like Kpop? Then this one is for you! They write amazing Kpop males x male reader

@bnha-dumpster - Like dark stuff (the REALLY, REALLY dark stuff) then this one is for you! (Though, proceed with caution on this one.)

@bubble-tea-bee - Like slashers? This blog is for you then (You must be 17 years or older, its is part of their rules)

@n0irrrr - Attack on Titan? This blog is for you!

Honorable mentions: @mlm-writer @davidlikesboys02 @bonnyskies @myfeetkeepdancing @malereader-inserts @onionsaremeansstuff @patrickswhore @malexmalereader @undercoveravenger @theotakusupreme-h1dd3n @syiano

feel free to put your suggestions!

e m p t y | 4 — new memories [1.2]

Surprisingly, the survey corps' soldiers visited Beatrice and [Name]. It was a great joy for the little [hair color]-haired boy seeing the taller blonde again.

A knock on the door was heard. [Name] quickly let go of his pen and stood up to open the door, as Beatrice was busy making lunch. When [Name] opened the door and for his and Beatrice's surprise, it was three soldiers— survey corps' soldiers. Of course, the boy recognize them immediately. Specially, the taller blond in the middle of the two.

A smile appeared on [Name]'s face, an unusual thing for him. His whole face brightened up as he spoke, "Mr. Erwin!" He quickly hugged the man's leg, making Erwin chuckle by the action. The ravenette on his left quirked an eyebrow seeing such an action, while the much taller man on his right stared a little surprised.

"Oh my! Come in, gentleman! You just came in time for lunch!" Beatrice greeted, cleaning her hands on her apron as she approached the three men, opening the door to let them in.

"There's no need, ma'am. We came here just to greet you, as we were passing by this district." Erwin spoke as he patted [Name]'s head, who still was hugging his leg.

"Seems the brat is your number one admirer, Erwin.” Levi joked, while Mike snorted.

"[Name]! Let the men come in, please. Have manners, boy!" Beatrice playfully scolded him, which gained a embarrassing [Name] nodding, looking at the floor. The boy separated from Erwin's leg before retreating to Beatrice, letting them enter. "And don't be shy, you three! I made just enough for all of us, so don't worry about it!" The woman guided them with her hand behind their shoulders, making them sit by force.

"We really don't intend stay that long, ma'am." Erwin spoke, making Beatrice dismiss him with her hand.

"Nonsense! This is at least what I can do for your duty as survey corps soldiers. So hush and enjoy!"

"Tsk. How persistent.” The ravenette stated, but not in bad tone. He didn’t mind Beatrice being this welcoming— it was a nice change.

“Hmm? I noticed you remembered your name?” Erwin asked, smiling at [Name]. The boy nodded excitedly.

“Yes! That’s the only thing I can remember, but somehow that’s enough for now.” [Name] smiled, moving his legs back and forward. For some reason, the kid loved being with Erwin– maybe it was just the blonde was the first person he trusted.

The blond chuckled, amused by the positive behavior. The boy was different since their first encounter, and this was Erwin's first visit since then. [Name] had a small spark in his eyes than he didn't have, and seemed much more relaxed now. The boy still had a lost gaze, but looked more... alive?

"Sometimes that's for the better. But I see you are comfortable with Beatrice."

The woman smiled for herself, placing the plates on the table for each one of them. Mike smirked by the sweet and delicious aroma only Beatrice could make with her food.

"Of course. Mom... is really kind to me and helps me with my headaches." He smiled.

"You still have them?" This time the ravenette interjected, drinking the tea Beatrice gave him. [Name] nodded.

"My poor baby suffers a lot with them— fortunately Dr. Grisha does what he can to help us." She caressed [Name]'s cheek before sitting. "He says it's his head responding to him forcefully trying to remember."

"And the brat as stubborn as he can be doesn't follow simple orders, right?" Levi guessed, not surprised. [Name] blushed and averted their gazes by being called out, eating in silence.

Beatrice laughed, "you know how kids can be. But I don't blame him..." She caressed his head again, looking at him lovingly.

"Babying him this much won't help him at all, Beatrice. Look at the brat's face— he enjoys it." Levi changed the grim conversation, making [Name] embarrassed by the sudden attention.

"Come on! He's a big boy! And such a handsome one. Our neighbor has already his eyes for him." She playfully raised her eyebrows, making gossip.

While hearing this, [Name]'s eyes widened and instantly spoke loudly. "That's not true! Eren is a big hot-head!"

Laughing for his behavior, Beatrice tried to hold more of her laughter with such a cute reaction from him. "But he looked so worried when you weren't waking up, love!"

"He got sick?" Erwin asked surprised.

"Oh! Of course. Let me tell you the beginning of this love's tale..."

The talk between all of them was enjoyable— Beatrice loved talking to them, it was as if she was an old friend of them, which she was. She explained that her husband was a survey corp soldier but he died on an expedition four years ago. She knew being a soldier of this branch was stressful enough, and all the snarky comments people made of them were hurtful for others. So, she always gifted food or pastries on their return, granting acknowledge between the soldiers. They already knew who he was thanks to her husband, but all of them were surprised enough to the kindness she had after such sad events.

"You really think that's enough for everybody? I can make more if you just wait." Beatrice spoke, everybody outside her home, talk and meal finished.

Erwin chuckled, amused by such caring behavior. "This should be enough. We thank you for your great help, Beatrice."

"Oh you! Such a handsome and charming commander!" She playfully smacked his shoulder, laughing. "You know the survey corps have the doors of my house open anytime." She looked at Mike, who was watching the surroundings. "And you, Mike? How was the food this time?"

The taller man slightly smiled. "Lovely as always, ma'am."

While they were chattering, [Name] was comfortable hugging Erwin's leg— it was fun as hell for the other two soldiers how this kid was so close to the blonde, who only saw two times, and a few glances before going to expeditions.

"Eren is coming." [Name] stated, confusing Beatrice.

"What, sweetie?"

"[Name]!!!!!" A young voice yelled from the distance, taking all of their attention to the other side of the house— [Name] instantly recognized the brunette running along with Mikasa and Armin right at them.

"So that's the lovebird." Levi snorted, 'glaring' at the kids, who as they got near them stopped instantly. They were in awe— Armin and Eren, to be certain. The two widened their eyes and looked at the soldiers in admiration. They were their heroes, after all!

But Erwin was surprised [Name] was correct of their arriving— just as he was back then when he found him. Could he have good hearing? Just as Mike recognizes certain smells? "How did you know your friend was coming?" He couldn't stop from asking, looking at the kid who was hugging his leg.

"I heard him. He's louder than others." [Name] answered, receiving a "that's impressive" from Erwin, which made him blush and hide his face in embarrassment. The blonde chuckled in amusement and ruffled his hair.

"We have to go now or we'll be late. Again, thank you for everything, ma'am." The blonde spoke and smiled to the woman. Beatrice nodded and signaled [Name] to come, which he reluctantly obeyed, but not before pulling Erwin's shirt to take his attention. The man kneeled, and [Name] shyly whispered something only the two of them could hear. Smiling warmly, the blond nodded and the [hair color]-haired boy raised his pinky finger, in which Erwin tangled with his'. [Name] smiled and went to Beatrice, finishing the 'secret talk', letting Erwin stand up again.

The ravenette quirked an eyebrow, amused. "What was that? A cheesy confession?"

He didn't answer. "Well then, see you again."

"Hope you come again soon, gentleman! Please, take care." Beatrice waved, seeing the three leaving.

The three kids, who watched the entire thing, ran to [Name] and Eren instantly began to ask a lot of questions to him.

"Why were they are your house?! And what did he say to you? Are they coming again?!" Both Eren and Armin talked, while Mikasa watched the men disappear from afar.

"And what did you tell him?! Tell me!!!"

"It's a secret." [Name] answered, getting irritated by Eren's loud voice.

"What?! TELL ME!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"And? What did that brat told you?" Levi spoke, hiding his interest in the 'secret' they both shared.

Chuckling, Erwin just stared in front of him, remembering such innocent encounter— something that they didn't encounter in their stressful daily life. "It's a secret."

"Ah? What kind of ridiculous bullshit he say?" The ravenette glared. "You are acting like a brat."

Mike could only chuckle at their behavior— leaving his past thoughts at ease.

He couldn't pin point the kid's aroma, still.

"Anyways— never seen his eyes before. They are... different."

"Peculiar, aren't they? I wonder..."

"Yours are weird too."

"Are you talking to me, tree?"