Did I Just Read Save Us All And Cry My Eyes Out? Yes. Yes I Did. Do Want More Of That Sweet, Sweet Angst?

e m p t y / 6

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter six — new memories [1.4]

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Armin was nice— [Name] really liked him. He was gentle, his voice was soft and he wasn’t an idiot. That was enough for [Name] to not hate him, surprisingly. Fortunately for him, Armin liked him too.

“How has your handwriting gotten?” Armin asks, eating some cookies Beatrice made for them. They sitting on the table inside [Name]’s house— the usual spot to teach [Name].

“I think it’s better. But I’ve gotten some trouble remembering some letters.” Handing him his notebook, [Name] watches expectantly as Armin takes the item and looks at it, flipping some pages.

Humming, the blond inspects the semi-messy handwriting. It wasn't a pleasant looking typography, but it was enough to understand it. There were some words that contained backwards letters, but it was a great improvement since last week. “I see you have some problems with certain letters, but you have improved a lot! I’m happy my teaching has somehow worked...”

Blinking, [Name] stares at the blonde in silence. It wasn’t a secret he always looked down on himself— he always felt weak when [Name] or whoever who came to defend him agaisnt the bullies. It was plastered all around his face— but [Name] thinks Armin is strong.

“You are smart.” [Name] begins, resting his head on the table, looking at the blonde without an expression. “I like you, Armin.”

The blue-eyed boy blinks in surprise before blushing a little by the bland statement. “I—I like you too, [Name]!”

Slightly lifting the tips of his lips, a smile barely noticeable, the amnesiac boy speaks, “I’m glad.” Straightening his posture, the boy looks expectantly at his friend, who blinks in return before snapping out of his thoughts.

“U—Uhm! I—I think we should get to reading!” He hands him a simple book for children, easy to read. His friend takes it and opens it before glazing at the words and begins his reading exercise.

Armin was... always curious about [Name]. The first thing that made him amazed and interested in him was back then when he first protected him— he actually fought similar like Mikasa. He had never seen him around before— he was confused at first. An unknown kid helping him instead of his best friend Eren.

But the most impressive thing was his eyes— they were nothing Armin had seen before. They were unique. The children around the neighborhood were pretty harsh on him for his eyes and his demeanor, telling him ‘freak’ and ‘weird’. But Armin could see his friend was unfazed by these comments— he was really strong.

[Name] was so calm and collected. His only weakness was his headaches and, maybe, Beatrice. The blond could see the incredible attachment his friend had with the nice woman— and Beatrice loved him dearly. Armin believed if something bad happened to the woman, [Name]’s calm behavior would broke in some way— it was pretty clear to him.

[Name] and Eren where obviously different, but not that much. Armin knew [Name] could be pretty brutal when fighting some times— like when the bullies had yet again stolen food from Armin, and when the amnesiac boy knew about this, Armin had never seen someone so scary. Basically, [Name] had made the bully throw up, and then made him eat it again. He only knew of this because Mikasa had told them about it, because when that happened, the bullies left Armin alone for some time.

Armin did like [Name] a lot. He enjoyed his time with him, reading for him, teaching how to write and read... it was different. He was glad Eren and [Name] had become good friends in the end, as Armin finally could keep company with both of them without the two killing each other that much.

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“And hear this! It says the ocean is made of saltwater!” The blonde excitedly speaks, showing the drawings to [Name]. “No merchant can finish all the salt it has!”

“Ocean...” [Name] blinks as he looks at the drawing. His fingers touch it gently, as if it’s a part of the sea. He’s silent without expression, worrying Armin.

“Is something wrong?”

The amnesiac boy doesn’t respond. There’s something familiar he can’t fully grasp— this ‘ocean’ is familiar to him in some way. But as he tries to remember anything, a shock passes trough all of his body at the same time images appear on his mind for seconds— but one particular burns: something blue as the sky.

He can even hear some type of bird, the ocean waves... but there’s a voice— a woman’s voice besides him, but he can’t see her face as his gaze in locked on the peaceful  sea. Then, her clear but unrecognizable voice says:

“The ocean is what keeps us apart from them.”

Blinking, the memory? disappear as he speaks without thinking, “I think I’ve seen it.”

Armin’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing what he’s hearing. “That’s impossible! The ocean is outside this walls! No one has ever seen it!”

[Name] doesn’t say anything— he’s sure it was a memory, even if it was clear for some seconds, it burns in his mind. He’s sure is real— the ocean, the sounds, her voice... It’s too real, like he was there with her.

He wants to tell Armin about it, but the boy remembers Beatrice had told him to not tell anybody about him being outside the walls. It could cause a lot of trouble for him or her, and obviously he didn’t want that. So he shuts his mouth and doesn’t say much.

“Yeah... I think I’m imagining things,” he dismissed the entire conversation, “let’s read some more.”

His blond friend looks like he wants to say something else, but the look [Name] is giving him shuts him down. It’s clear to Armin that [Name] doesn’t want to say anything else, and he obeys. The blond kid keeps on reading, sometime stealing some glances at his friend while [Name] tries his best to follow,. But the memory keeps his mind occupied, wondering about something the woman said to him...

“It keeps us apart from who, exactly...?”

e m p t y | 4 — new memories [1.2]

Surprisingly, the survey corps' soldiers visited Beatrice and [Name]. It was a great joy for the little [hair color]-haired boy seeing the taller blonde again.

A knock on the door was heard. [Name] quickly let go of his pen and stood up to open the door, as Beatrice was busy making lunch. When [Name] opened the door and for his and Beatrice's surprise, it was three soldiers— survey corps' soldiers. Of course, the boy recognize them immediately. Specially, the taller blond in the middle of the two.

A smile appeared on [Name]'s face, an unusual thing for him. His whole face brightened up as he spoke, "Mr. Erwin!" He quickly hugged the man's leg, making Erwin chuckle by the action. The ravenette on his left quirked an eyebrow seeing such an action, while the much taller man on his right stared a little surprised.

"Oh my! Come in, gentleman! You just came in time for lunch!" Beatrice greeted, cleaning her hands on her apron as she approached the three men, opening the door to let them in.

"There's no need, ma'am. We came here just to greet you, as we were passing by this district." Erwin spoke as he patted [Name]'s head, who still was hugging his leg.

"Seems the brat is your number one admirer, Erwin.” Levi joked, while Mike snorted.

"[Name]! Let the men come in, please. Have manners, boy!" Beatrice playfully scolded him, which gained a embarrassing [Name] nodding, looking at the floor. The boy separated from Erwin's leg before retreating to Beatrice, letting them enter. "And don't be shy, you three! I made just enough for all of us, so don't worry about it!" The woman guided them with her hand behind their shoulders, making them sit by force.

"We really don't intend stay that long, ma'am." Erwin spoke, making Beatrice dismiss him with her hand.

"Nonsense! This is at least what I can do for your duty as survey corps soldiers. So hush and enjoy!"

"Tsk. How persistent.” The ravenette stated, but not in bad tone. He didn’t mind Beatrice being this welcoming— it was a nice change.

“Hmm? I noticed you remembered your name?” Erwin asked, smiling at [Name]. The boy nodded excitedly.

“Yes! That’s the only thing I can remember, but somehow that’s enough for now.” [Name] smiled, moving his legs back and forward. For some reason, the kid loved being with Erwin– maybe it was just the blonde was the first person he trusted.

The blond chuckled, amused by the positive behavior. The boy was different since their first encounter, and this was Erwin's first visit since then. [Name] had a small spark in his eyes than he didn't have, and seemed much more relaxed now. The boy still had a lost gaze, but looked more... alive?

"Sometimes that's for the better. But I see you are comfortable with Beatrice."

The woman smiled for herself, placing the plates on the table for each one of them. Mike smirked by the sweet and delicious aroma only Beatrice could make with her food.

"Of course. Mom... is really kind to me and helps me with my headaches." He smiled.

"You still have them?" This time the ravenette interjected, drinking the tea Beatrice gave him. [Name] nodded.

"My poor baby suffers a lot with them— fortunately Dr. Grisha does what he can to help us." She caressed [Name]'s cheek before sitting. "He says it's his head responding to him forcefully trying to remember."

"And the brat as stubborn as he can be doesn't follow simple orders, right?" Levi guessed, not surprised. [Name] blushed and averted their gazes by being called out, eating in silence.

Beatrice laughed, "you know how kids can be. But I don't blame him..." She caressed his head again, looking at him lovingly.

"Babying him this much won't help him at all, Beatrice. Look at the brat's face— he enjoys it." Levi changed the grim conversation, making [Name] embarrassed by the sudden attention.

"Come on! He's a big boy! And such a handsome one. Our neighbor has already his eyes for him." She playfully raised her eyebrows, making gossip.

While hearing this, [Name]'s eyes widened and instantly spoke loudly. "That's not true! Eren is a big hot-head!"

Laughing for his behavior, Beatrice tried to hold more of her laughter with such a cute reaction from him. "But he looked so worried when you weren't waking up, love!"

"He got sick?" Erwin asked surprised.

"Oh! Of course. Let me tell you the beginning of this love's tale..."

The talk between all of them was enjoyable— Beatrice loved talking to them, it was as if she was an old friend of them, which she was. She explained that her husband was a survey corp soldier but he died on an expedition four years ago. She knew being a soldier of this branch was stressful enough, and all the snarky comments people made of them were hurtful for others. So, she always gifted food or pastries on their return, granting acknowledge between the soldiers. They already knew who he was thanks to her husband, but all of them were surprised enough to the kindness she had after such sad events.

"You really think that's enough for everybody? I can make more if you just wait." Beatrice spoke, everybody outside her home, talk and meal finished.

Erwin chuckled, amused by such caring behavior. "This should be enough. We thank you for your great help, Beatrice."

"Oh you! Such a handsome and charming commander!" She playfully smacked his shoulder, laughing. "You know the survey corps have the doors of my house open anytime." She looked at Mike, who was watching the surroundings. "And you, Mike? How was the food this time?"

The taller man slightly smiled. "Lovely as always, ma'am."

While they were chattering, [Name] was comfortable hugging Erwin's leg— it was fun as hell for the other two soldiers how this kid was so close to the blonde, who only saw two times, and a few glances before going to expeditions.

"Eren is coming." [Name] stated, confusing Beatrice.

"What, sweetie?"

"[Name]!!!!!" A young voice yelled from the distance, taking all of their attention to the other side of the house— [Name] instantly recognized the brunette running along with Mikasa and Armin right at them.

"So that's the lovebird." Levi snorted, 'glaring' at the kids, who as they got near them stopped instantly. They were in awe— Armin and Eren, to be certain. The two widened their eyes and looked at the soldiers in admiration. They were their heroes, after all!

But Erwin was surprised [Name] was correct of their arriving— just as he was back then when he found him. Could he have good hearing? Just as Mike recognizes certain smells? "How did you know your friend was coming?" He couldn't stop from asking, looking at the kid who was hugging his leg.

"I heard him. He's louder than others." [Name] answered, receiving a "that's impressive" from Erwin, which made him blush and hide his face in embarrassment. The blonde chuckled in amusement and ruffled his hair.

"We have to go now or we'll be late. Again, thank you for everything, ma'am." The blonde spoke and smiled to the woman. Beatrice nodded and signaled [Name] to come, which he reluctantly obeyed, but not before pulling Erwin's shirt to take his attention. The man kneeled, and [Name] shyly whispered something only the two of them could hear. Smiling warmly, the blond nodded and the [hair color]-haired boy raised his pinky finger, in which Erwin tangled with his'. [Name] smiled and went to Beatrice, finishing the 'secret talk', letting Erwin stand up again.

The ravenette quirked an eyebrow, amused. "What was that? A cheesy confession?"

He didn't answer. "Well then, see you again."

"Hope you come again soon, gentleman! Please, take care." Beatrice waved, seeing the three leaving.

The three kids, who watched the entire thing, ran to [Name] and Eren instantly began to ask a lot of questions to him.

"Why were they are your house?! And what did he say to you? Are they coming again?!" Both Eren and Armin talked, while Mikasa watched the men disappear from afar.

"And what did you tell him?! Tell me!!!"

"It's a secret." [Name] answered, getting irritated by Eren's loud voice.

"What?! TELL ME!"

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"And? What did that brat told you?" Levi spoke, hiding his interest in the 'secret' they both shared.

Chuckling, Erwin just stared in front of him, remembering such innocent encounter— something that they didn't encounter in their stressful daily life. "It's a secret."

"Ah? What kind of ridiculous bullshit he say?" The ravenette glared. "You are acting like a brat."

Mike could only chuckle at their behavior— leaving his past thoughts at ease.

He couldn't pin point the kid's aroma, still.

"Anyways— never seen his eyes before. They are... different."

"Peculiar, aren't they? I wonder..."

"Yours are weird too."

"Are you talking to me, tree?"

Did you quit

nope, it's just a long hiatus because of life, and that has affected my inspiration and mood for writing :c

also, since reading my stuff again has made me cringe so badly, i think i've decided to rewrite/overwrite RMA and empty because it is soo bad... although i have mostly written rma's next chapter, i'm not sure when i will finish it :C

honestly, seeing these two works public makes me so stressed LOL. i hope readers dont take them the wrong way, although they are really bad omg. i've wanting to erase them completely, but i know there are people who come back to re-read them and i guess that is stopping me.

hopefuly i can write small stories or oneshots for more than the aot fandom, so don't be mad at me if im not updating those two series!

also, empty got a russian translation 9 months ago, and i just completely forgot i had messages here. so check if out.

i know there are asks that havent been answered... (っ◞‸◟ c)

Reiss Mental Asylum / 4

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

4

The next day, [Name]’s morning schedule was to help Zeke with some paperwork, along with take notes from his sessions he was   allowed to watch. Zeke had said it would be a good idea to familiarize with everything first before getting to know the rest of the patients.

“And that was the last for this morning.” Zeke said, looking at his watch. “It’s already lunch time— are you hungry?” He looks at [Name], raising a brow.

Before the young man could give an answer, a loudly grunt coming from his stomach answered instead. The [hair color]-haired boy instantly blushed, looking at the floor. Zeke couldn’t hold himself and chuckled, covering his mouth.

“I guess you are. Let’s go, don’t be this embarrassed.” The taller man said, ruffling [Name]’s hair.

[Name] couldn’t stop himself to be— his full attention was in the sessions, and he didn’t pay any attention to his hunger.

“Anyways, did you bring anything to eat?”

And again, [Name] blushed in shame and embarrassment. He totally forgot to cook or buy something for lunch— and he was so hungry! “I–I forgot, sorry!” was the only thing he could say.

“What are you apologizing for?” he chuckles, “Come on, [Name]. Hope you like chinese food, I bought some.” The blond man spoke, unbothered. He began to walk, and [Name] hurriedly followed him.

“Dr. Jaeger! You–You don’t have to!” The [hair color]-haired said, and horribly lied, “I-I’m not that hungry…”

“Your stomach says otherwise. And also, I told you to call me Zeke.” The taller man said, trying to suppressing a smirk. “As your boss, I command you to eat with me. There, you are not allowed to refuse.”

“T-That’s unfair!”

“Life is unfair, [Name]. Come on, eating my food isn’t a sin.”

[Name] just stayed in silence, embarrassed. He surely was going to remember bring his lunch next time.

Zeke hoped the boy keep on forgetting.

。。。。。。。。。。。

The two males entered to a room that resembled a cafeteria, but it wasn’t as big as one. There were plenty of tables where other workers were sat on, a vending machine and a TV plugged on the wall. There was a coffee machine in what resembled a small kitchen, along with a microwave.

Some workers noticed the young male presence, nodding and greeting him. Mostly to Zeke, because [Name] was trying to hide himself behind the blond, by his amusement. Before he could tease his assistant, a doctor approached both of them. The stranger courteously greeted [Name] before getting into a serious conversation with Zeke, which the [hair color]-haired boy didn’t want to pry nor interrupt.

[Name] just awkwardly stood there, looking around. Not for long though, because a woman with brown hair was excitingly waving at him, signaling him to come. The [hair color]-haired pointed at himself with a blush, questioning if she was talking to him, in which the woman vigorously nodded.

[Name] looked at Zeke, which was immersed in the conversation with the other doctor. The assistant didn’t want to rudely interrupt, so he went to the woman’s table, where there were two males with her.

One was short with black hair– he looked so irritated and bothered. The other was very tall, he had blonde dirty hair; he had a unbothered expression on his face, unlike the ravenette’s.

“Hello, hello! You must be the new assistant, right? Oh my, you are so adorable!” the woman spoke, smiling. The comment made [Name] blush, “come on! don’t be shy, sit down!”

Obeying, the young assistant shyly looked at the woman. It was ironic — how he could talk with his two patients without worry, but in these situations he got so shy.

“I’m Hanji.” The woman introduced herself, “This shorty is Levi, and the tree is Mike.”

“Who the fuck are you calling short, shitty glasses?” the ravenette harshly said, smacking the woman on the head, making her cry in pain. The two of them quickly got into an argument, and [Name] didn’t know what to do.

“Nice to meet you.” The taller man said, looking at [Name], making the young man look at him in return.

“N-Nice to meet you too! I’m [Name].”

The other two finished fighting when they heard [Name] talk, and Hanji looked more interested in him. Levi looked uninterested about the whole thing, but payed attention nevertheless.

“You must be Zeke’s assistant, right? I heard the news about a cute newbie spreading around.” Hanji said.

[Name] only nodded and hummed. He didn’t exactly know what else to say, so he stayed in silence. It didn’t matter, because the woman was doing most of the talking.

“Aw! He’s so lucky to have you! I heard from Erwin that you looked you had potential!”

The young assistant’s eyes widened at the statement, blushing. “He really said that…?” [Name] recalled his meeting with Mr. Smith— how gentle and kind he looked. The young male was under his charms, and he couldn’t help feeling butterflies in his stomach recalling the look he gave him.

“Looks like beard-shit is stuck with an assistant. Let’s see how much you will last here.” The shorter man says, taking a sip from his tea.

“Don’t scare him, Levi.” Mike says, giving the ravenette a look, He only shrugs in return, uninterested. Mike turns at [Name] and slightly smiles. “Don’t stress, [Name]. We will help you in anything we can.”

The young assistant thanks him, and shortly after his stomach growls once more, making him blush. Hanji lets out a loud laugh, “Oh my, [Name]! I can hear you are hungry, didn’t you bring your lunch today?” The [hair color]-haired boy shakes his head, “Aw! Don’t worry, I can share my chicken sandwich with you~”

“No! It’s alright! You don’t have to do that, Hanji! I’m alright!” [Name] tries to dismiss the situation, but only gained a piece of sandwich forcefully in his mouth, shutting him up. The boy’s eyes widened in surprise and shock, and he can feel sauce dripping from his mouth.

“There! It’s delicious, right? Moblit made it for me!” The woman says, ignoring [Name]’s discomfort. She only forcefully pressed the food inside his mouth, making a mess.

“Oi, you are making a fucking mess!” Levi says, looking disgustingly at the young assistant. More sauce is dripping from his mouth to his neck, and the ravenette can’t stand looking at the sight. “Hanji! Stop!”

The taller man blinks, unamused by the situation. “Hanji, I believe [Name] has to breathe.”

“What exactly is happening here?” a familiar voice is heard, and [Name] can recognize it is from Zeke. The young assistant looks at him with his teary eyes, the piece of food still on his mouth.

When Zeke takes a look at [Name], he has to take a few seconds to compose himself. His assistant’s lips are dripping saliva and sauce, getting on his neck and messing his shirt collar a little bit. His eyes are teary and pleading– and Zeke secretly loves the way the young boy looks at him. The doctor knows his mind is getting some… dirty ideas, but holds himself before something appears.

“I see… you have met Hanji.” It’s the only thing Zeke can say while his mind is occupied thinking about [Name]. “Hanji, can you take your sandwich out of my assistant’s mouth?” The woman reluctantly obeys, saying something about how cute [Name] is.

“I was just sharing my food! [Name] didn’t bring any, and he is hungry. You should pay attention to your assistant, Zeke!” The woman says, taking a bite of his sandwich. Levi gives her a disgusted glare.

Before Zeke could help [Name] messy state, unfortunately for him, Mike went right into it. The taller man carefully placed his hand on the young assistant’s cheek, while his free hand was gently cleaning the male’s face with a napkin. Zeke glared at Mike for a second, seeing how his assistant was so close to the taller man. Composing himself, he took a seat, placing his food on the table.

“Sorry for making you wait, [Name]. I wasn’t expecting Dr. Gregory’s talk be that long…” Zeke apologizes, opening the chinese food boxes, handing one to [Name]. The assistant only dismissed him shaking his hand and giving a little smile, still being cleaned by Mike.

“Oh! I saw him talking seriously at you, what for?” Hanji asked, looking curiously. Levi didn’t say anything, but minded himself to see the interaction of Mike and [Name], which both were quietly talking.

Thinking before answering, Zeke carefully choose his words, “something about a patient trying to leave. He says the doctors and guards are having a bad time on the upper floors.” The blond takes a quick glance at [Name], which is occupied with Mike. Zeke lowers his voice, “Gregory said a doctor and some guards got injured; I believe you know how. This isn’t great news for me, because I have a few patients near the upper floors and I have a… kätzchen under my care.”

The woman nods, a neutral expression on her face. “I see. Moblit told me about patients getting their handcuffs off, and doctors noticing it too late. Even with guards outside the rooms it isn’t safe— I mean, how many doctors and guards have signed for their deaths here?”

Zeke sighs, “I don’t have a clue how Erwin and the upper directors hide all of this. My guess is there are worse places than this one, or the directors have some money to spent.”

“Does he knows anything?” Hanji points at [Name] with her head, raising a brow. Zeke chuckles, shaking his head.

“Doesn’t have a clue.”

“My condolences, Zeke. Have good time protecting him— I’m glad Sawney and Bean aren’t that violent. Yes, they have their moments, but Moblit and I are prepared for them.” Hanji takes a look at the others, and notices how carefully Levi is watching the young assistant, talking with him. She chuckles, “but I believe he will be under a lot of protection while he’s here.”

The blond doctor only grunts, looking irritated by the last statement. “Figures.” He eats his food, and looks [Name] hasn’t touched any of the food. Zeke can see Mike finished cleaning him, but has stayed close to him. The fucking tree is smelling him!

“[Name].” Zeke calls, making the young male turn, “you haven’t eaten anything. Do I have to take these chopsticks and give you food like a child?” He teases, causing [Name] to blush.

“No need!” [Name] says, taking the chopsticks and hastily began to eat the food. He blinks, suddenly remembering something, and while his mouth is a little stuffed with food, making his gentle cheeks puff, he looks at Mike, “thawk you fow hewping me!” he happily says.

Mike chuckles, enjoying the adorable sight. “No problem.”

“Oi! Don’t talk with your mouth full, you brat!”

“AWWWW! ZEKE YOU ARE SOOOO LUCKY!!" 

。。。。。。。。。

"Well, he certainly looks like he doesn’t know shit.” Levi said, seeing [Name]’s form leaving the room with Hanji.

“He doesn’t.” Zeke answers.

Levi snorts, “good luck protecting a corpse.” The ravenette takes a sip from his tea, thinking about the younger male. Levi already believes the new assistant will not last, but likes to think he will have some luck on his side. Nevertheless, the man could recall Erwin saying the boy had ‘potential’, and he knows the blond is always right about everything. If he was right, Levi wouldn’t mind seeing [Name]’s progress.

“He smelled good. Surprisingly good.” Mike says, smirking to himself. The taller man could smell something sweet from [Name], and he could say the fragrance from the young assistant relaxed him. He closes his eyes and remembers the cute face the assistant made— how close his face was from his.

Zeke grunted internally, irritated. It seems he isn’t the only one liking the young assistant.

+++++++ Kätzchen: kitten in german. (google translate ;;)

“i’m heading to bed, goodnight ☺️”

me in bed:

Childhood sunrays

He was seven when he first met you. He was the little boy, who dressed prim and proper and had a fitting face, though sullen.

His father was an honest professor that taught the elite and propitious, those in the privileged life. He, ignoring the threats and pleas, never shied away from the reality of the world.

He would spend hours on the injustice to the poor, government reforms, and political ideas too ‘radical’ for the school.

He would always get permission to get into his lectures and he would be so memorized when the topic evolved into something so fundamentally different that you had to wonder about it until days later.

And that itself caused tension between his peers. Erwin knew it stemmed from fear and insecurity— he was a seven-year-old kid who was known to outshines his elder peers who were groomed to be the best of the best, so he understood very early on how pride lead you in a leash.

With bruised knees and a bleeding lip, Erwin was chased to the unsavoury and poorer parts of town, house projects run down with green moss growing on the sides and grass unevenly and overgrown. It had its discarded concrete sidewalks cracked and uneven from the time.

He knew his father was sick with worry. Frantic, possibly.

But he also only has known the white washed walls and red bricks of home where nothing ever changes in its constant loop. Knowledge is power, and curiosity is the driving compass.

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back, as the saying goes.

A chained dog ran in up front, started to bark frantically, mad, only the old chained fence acting as its last barrier. Erwin froze, terror locking his muscles and a tremor broke out, stuck in front of the water down house with no lights on.

Only for the dog to run away as an orange peel thrown into its way.

His saviour was swinging his feet against the chain fence, with ripped jean shorts and a t-shirt too big for you. You had orange peels in one hand and the other gripped to balance.

“Hey, are you sure you ain’t lost?” His childish voice, high and confident, brought and hooked you to the reality.

“I’m sure, thank you for your concern.” His shaken voice, still present, but netherless grateful. You frown, tilting your head if to better understand.

“I mean, you walked this way, like, three times.” You hold your fingers up ( a cheap bandage clinging on with God’s miracle ) as if to better understand, he held his gaze for a moment or two, breaking contact to look at his clothes, tender red knees and busted lip.

“Oh.”

You sigh, swinging down from the gate and arching your back, you look at him with a perplexing look, “Well then, c’mon we got a date to go to.”

“I beg your pardon?!”

Under the searing sun of the summer of ‘96, you led way through roads Erwin was a stranger to. You were patient with him, and you were keeping pace with him, and your grip was neither chafing nor bruising. But yours were messy hands.

Messy with the sticky feeling of oranges, and cheap crayola crayons, with a too big shirt and choppy, uneven hair that somehow suited you.

Every motion you created was an animated picture, and it made him want to follow your every move, a dance of two.

You are a tour guide in this turning world, like in the first meeting, you hold his hand as you walk and talk through he neighbourhood. Talks about Mrs. Jones— the old lunch lady with tattoos and a motorcycle she lets the kids play with, to old man Joe, the man lost it in the war and got a silver tooth, you say.

It’s all chaotic and wild, but you move through it all as if it’s as flexible and easy as water.

Erwin’s father breaks into wild sobs as soon as he saw his son being led back into the safety of their home. He was too close on calling the police when a boy holding his son’s hand asks for him.

You’re this split-second burst of color that suddenly erupted out of nowhere, and before he could even think, you were already gone. You always were.

Melting into everything, into his hindsight, into the deepest trenches of his memory. You were so abrupt, and blinding, and you made his chest feel weird and you had this presence that both terrified and confused him for some unknown reason.

Through his teenage years, he and you would grow closer. Flashes of memories snapped and froze to twinkle, from the time you and him snuck into a movie, to the time you were forced to get a hair cut and "ran away” to his house.

Childish naïve, as they played tag under the golden rays of the sun set, and counting the bugs underneath the rotting wood with the stars above them. You said that if you squint hard enough, they look like porcupines dancing with each other.

You, in his humble opinion, feels like running away, but not the real kind. More like how you saw it in childhood movies. Running to endless woods that hid magical adventures, running to hills filled with flowers and frogs and grasshoppers. Happy ignorant and not having to prepare but knowing the future of everlasting happiness and sunshine.

He wished he prepared more.

——

New York is a city too big for one, yet ironically too small for Erwin.

His works circle towards bringing down the corrupt, from CEO’s to the politicians and the rich and influential. He works here because its his duty and passion. (But his head is whispering haunting promises of city lights of a boy with ambition in his eyes.)

The percentage of even meeting you again, after all these years is mathematically impossible, how could he? When he left, he wonders, if you still think if him as his childhood friend or imagination of what he could have been.

His wishes ended up being manifested as a piss thrown bagel.

He was walking through the crowds, leaning thinner than other days when a half-eaten bagel lands on his shiny expensive leather shoe.

He grimace, Hange crackling in the background and Levi tsk with murmuring under his breath.

He looks up, scanning for the culprit, noises in New York are always blended but a voice sticks out from the rest. ( young and deep, a paradoxical dream, he knows this voice ) Arguments, insults and loud voices, he brings his attention to the couple in front of him, and—

The countless heads of ongoing bystanders, and yet. You. With the hair that catched the sun’s eye, and the wind’s kiss blows.

“Y/M!”

You, with caramel factories in your pockets, and rainbows stains on your fingertips, turn around and all breathing is sucked from the tunnel vision of you.

Your hair is longer, less wild and free, and your face contoured with more chiseled since your childhood days. But your freedom of expression is painted in your face.

Surprise, confusion, and realization.

“Erwin? Erwin Smith is that you?!” Your pitch rose as your entire being rose with it, your eyes widen and crinkled, blooming like the dandelions on spring.

“Oh lord, it’s really you!” You ran, skipping through the lady’s threshold, and Erwin already dropped his briefcase as he opened his arms as wide as he could to catch the wild storm of colors that you were.

You hit him with all your force, and from that force of reality that sucked all breath from him, he finally thought he knows what home really is. (He remembers, they were sprawled out on your couch, facing each other, smiling like idiots, mouths stretched so wide our cheeks ached with the strain. )

I often fantasize about how life would be like with you.

“My god! Jesus, I haven’t seen you, in what? Six, seven years? Look how much you grown!” You pull away just slightly, still entrapped in his arms, as you take a good close look at him for the first time.

And Erwin stares. Stares because in these streets that blur in the background, he can smell the orange soda that you drank under one gulp for a bet and the crackers that you hid away for the zombie apocalypse prep. And then he realises that he is staring.

“I— yes. We, I mean, I did grow. With, uh, food.”

You laugh, and your laughter feels like a dying sunrays directed at him. Like blooming flowers, and with his limited vocabulary he fumbled out the crooked, vague, feeling that waved through his teeth. When was the last time he was swooned by your laughter?

You move to speak, and he unconsciously lean forward as if seeking a place to rest, as a shriek of your name breaks through this haze of whatever overcame you two. You blink, your face realizing your situation, and your expression drops, like his stomach, unto one of uncomfort and annoyance.

You lean forward and in an entirely exaggerated expression, you crestfallen sigh, “Hear that, Erwin? It’s the devil calling my name.” A sharp tug, what else could if be? A sharp poke at his tender heart, do you hear that? A taunting voice, he’s preparing to leave again.

You lean back, tilting your face in the same way when he met you and smile such a sad smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Erwin. Don’t be a stranger yeah?”

His finger twitches, his lips parting in anticipation, but he closes in remorse.

“Yeah, let’s.”

But as you start to pull away, you move with just speed and color as you pull put a sharpie from your pocket. And he’s taken back to your phase of always carrying candy in your pockets, no matter the event or temperature.

“Here,” you hold your hand out, and Erwin isn’t even aware as he instantly drops his whole hand in yours.

The blank ink stings his eyes, as numbers shaped his hand. A smily face, wobbly and silly, is at the end.

Your face almost splits in half as you smile up at him, “Don’t forget to call me tonight, yeah?”

He nods silently, not trusting his words clearly, as you waved through the crowd back to the woman who started to hit you in the head. He takes a step forward, and you throw your head up and start to taunt her as you start to run away.

Reminds you of the time you used to throw orange peels at his peers. You turn around for a second and smile one last time and wave a goodbye, and just like his hindsight, you were a hurricane of color that picks him up and disappears immediately.

Even though his colleagues watched their interaction between a well-known blank mask to a complete stranger, he throws his head back and lets out a deep laugh from the credence of his chest. He could act all stoic but his heart doesn’t feel stoic enough to make him serene.

He pockets his hand and ignores the shouts of Hange, and the silent eyes of Levi that probe him for his unanswers questions.

His steps feel lighter.

——

I don’t know if i should, like a part 2, or a pov of the reader. I dunno. I’ll go and sleep.

E m p t y / 5

[ shingeki no kyojin x male reader ]

【 male!various x male!amnesiac!reader 】

[Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches.

Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face?

Masterlist

chapter five — new memories [1.3]

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was one of their usual tasks— bring wood and herbs for Mr. Jaeger. It was a job for Eren and [Name], as Mikasa helped Miss Carla and Beatrice with pastries and baking bread in [Name]’s mom house. Everyone was pleased how nice the relationship between Eren and [Name] turned out— no more fighting but the occasional comments [Name] had to say to stop Eren’s angerish behavior. Surprisingly, they actually could notice how the brunette liked his company, and always wanted to stay at his side. The two women could notice when Eren was being scolded by [Name], he just blushed and averted his face, as if he was embarrassed of his actions.

It was somehow irritating for [Name]. As you could tell, he wasn’t fond of Eren’s voice— it was loud and annoying. He preferred staying with Mikasa or Armin, as their voices were less noisy than Eren’s. Obviously, this was an unusual conflict within the two: [Name] being vocal about his annoyance, and Eren being angry about it.

Eren liked [Name]— it was a fact. Carla and Beatrice could see that so clearly, even if the brunette tried to deny it so desperately. It was a huge change from their beginning— it was actually strange how Eren’s behavior changed when [Name] scolded him, but when Mikasa did it he angered. As Beatrice believed, [Name] was unaware of Eren’s feelings and didn't pay much attention to him. He too denied Eren felt something for him, and just was being the usual ‘hot-head’ he was.

But their differences weren’t always present— they genuinely liked each other and were good friends. [Name] didn’t hate or disliked Eren but the opposite: the amnesiac boy admired how strong and determined he was. It was just his loud voice that made his ears suffer. Nevertheless, [Name] sometimes tried to bear with it and spent time with Eren, and the brunette tried his best to not be ‘noisy’.

But back to the present— Fortunately, Dr. Grisha didn’t say when he wanted the herbs, and neither he looked impatient or urged for them. The two boys decided to rest a little bit in the small woods, the air was fresh and it was surprisingly relaxing there, as no one but them were there. The two carefully placed the bottles full of herbs on the grass before lying on the ground, looking at the sky. [Name]’s eyes sheepishly looked at the clouds, while Eren eyed him, he being unaware of it.

“Say, [Name]...” Eren spoke to get his attention, in which the other hummed in response, “do you think... we could see the ocean together one day...?” He asked with a blush on his face, looking at the other side to hide his embarrassment.

[Name] blinked, still not looking at him. “What’s with the sudden question? The four of us promised we would.” [Name] felt relaxed, blinking slowly. Letting out a yawn, he rubs his eyes, shifting to a more comfortable pose to sleep, not paying much attention on what the other has to say.

“That’s not what I mean...” Eren frowns, unaware of [Name]’s sudden tiredness. “I mean that... maybe we could...” he blushed deeply, unable to explain his feelings. He’s not good at feelings, and when he had never felt something like this before, this is hard for him. Even more when the one you have interest on doesn’t even likes you that much. “I want to see it with you... right at my side.” His whole face is painted in red— he plays nervously with his hands.

The lack of response made Eren impatient. Looking at the side, he noticed [Name] had fallen asleep by the low snoring that could be heard. At first, the brunette felt irritated and angry— as usual, [Name] wasn't paying attention to him. He even tried to not be so loud, and [Name] didn't even care about it! He didn't want to accept the small glint of jealously he felt when the [color haired] boy preferred to be with Mikasa or Armin, but him! Annoyed, the boy crossed his arm and averted seeing the sleeping boy, pouting.

Sighing, the boy lies on the grass, watching the sky. “I’m not that loud...” he speaks to himself, turning to see [Name] with narrowed eyes. The boy lies peacefully, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes, both hands tangled over his stomach. Why did he liked [Name] that much? At first he couldn’t stand him— but seeing him... hurting the way he was before, it made him feel... upset and dirty. His guilt was a major factor of his change, and somehow, interacting more with [Name] and knowing him more and more made him interested and curious on him.

He likes him, that’s the truth.

Sitting, the brunette gets closer to [Name]’s form, looking at his face, focusing on him. Eren can’t help himself and slowly leans forward [Name]’s face, Eren’s own heartbeat raising. Gulping, he closes his eyes, hands shaking by his nervousness. He gently kisses the soft lips, deep crimson painting his cheeks. Eren feels... joy as he answers his curiosity, but soon he becomes worried and scared as he feels [Name]’s body shifting. Immediately the brunette breaks the small kiss, almost falling on his back by he sudden separation. He covers his mouth with his hands as he nervously looks at the [hair color] haired blinking sheepishly, looking around and spotting him besides him.

“Eren...? Did I fall asleep...?” [Name] asks as he rubs his eyes, yawning. Stretching, he notices Eren’s quiet and unusual behavior. “Is something wrong...?”

“Uhm— No! E–Everything’s fine! We should get going.” Eren hastily speaks as he gets up and takes the wood and bottles, signaling [Name] to hurry up too. The amnesiac boy blinks confused, but soon stretches and gets up too. He takes the herbs and the wood on his back and waits for Eren to begin walking. Surprisingly, Eren takes his hand wihout warning.

“E–Everything ready?” Eren gulps as he speaks, looking at [Name] with a blush on his cheeks. He pleads in his mind for [Name] not to reject him— to stay like this just for this moment. His heartbeat raising as he sees the amnesiac boy blinking, not giving his thoughts away— Eren has always watched how expressionless [Name] can be. The brunette holds his breath until [Name] answers.

“Yes. Let’s go.” [Name] nods while speaking, walking ahead hand in hand with Eren. By Eren’s surprise, the [hair color] haired boy tangles his fingers with Eren’s, making the brunette’s heart skip a beat. [Name]’s face is the same— serene and calm, while Eren’s is a messy crimson.

They met Hannes in the way back, and the blonde soldier can catch how red Eren is. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the unusual scene of them being like this— gaining a ‘what are you laughing at?!’ from Eren, and another scolding from [Name], ‘don’t yell like that.’ making the brunette shut his mouth immediately. Hannes was actually impressed by such interaction— not even Carla nor Mikasa were capable of holding this little ball of anger from acting recklessly.

The walk between the two was unexpectedly calm, as both of them talked about what they will have for dinner. Eren’s face had a big grin, happy by how things turned out.

2/2 pop up in the 'male reader ' tag and ngl i did skip over it a few times bc i just didnt know what it was about (and im glad i didnt this one time bc ur writing is 💯💯💯) .. and also: i rec putting "x male reader" in the title. i know you have that for your oneshot with jean and eren, but it's not on your flower curse series - like the summary, it helps the readers know what theyre reading. so far that's all i can say, so yeah. (and btw! are u taking requests??)

thank you very much for your advice! i’m going to edit the posts and add information of the story in the beginning.

i really don’t take requests bc im so bad in taking inspiration and my update schedule is a little late, but you can totally sent me a request! :D will try my best. <3

again, thank you for helping me! <3

rma isn't flat or boring at all. i read the first chapter and was hooked IMMEDIATELY, and then read all of it in one sitting. i'm super excited for more chapters cause it's now one of my favourite fics heheheheh

thank you so much 😭💕 this means a lot to me! Im so happy to hear its your favorite. I really believed it wasnt good at all; so thank you sososoososo much! The chapter has 1500 words, but is nowhere finished. Maybe its 20% done? Hehe. 💦💦 ;; I will try my best to finish it soon!

hey, i love flower curse and i'm currently on chapter 5 so far... but i noticed that your works arent really getting that much recognition :,( i have a few suggestions to get more notes?? but only if you're interested in hearing them :0 otherwise, just wanted to tell you your writing is fantastic :)))

omg thank you so much! you are really kind.sure! i really im not familiarized with posting on tumblr, so any advice is appreciated! :Dagain, thank you so much, i’m happy you are enjoying flower curse! <3