Please! 🙏🏽Make Empty Rise From The Ashes Like A Phoenix 🦅🦅

e m p t y / 7

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

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[Name] took the box, and before leaving he placed a kiss on Beatrice's cheek, which she was crouched so the boy could reach her. She took his head with her hands and kissed his temples, smiling at him and standing once again.

"Be careful on the way to Doctor Jaeger's house, alright?" The woman said, warmly looking at [Name].

"Yes, mom. The bread and I will be safe and sound on our way." [Name] opened the door, and before leaving he said, "see ya, mom!"

[Name] heard her saying see ya too, and went to his way. The day was good— the wind felt nice. It was... peaceful. Even if his ears could hear everything, the sounds fogged, not taking attention to anybody's voice. It was nice, but something deep in his mind told him that something was wrong— something was out of place, but the boy couldn't decide what. Everything seemed normal like everyday— what was wrong? He didn't want to worry Beatrice for the feeling in his gut, but [Name]'s mind was occupied by the same thought. He didn't know what to expect or do, so he shacked his head and returned to the present.

He was going for your normal check ups with Doctor Jaeger. Even if his headaches were less than before, the man had said that he had a case of migraine— a weird problem a kid should have. Nevertheless, thanks to all of his recommendations the pain was bearable. So, Beatrice and him decided to gift him bread and pastries thanks to his huge help, even if he answered with modesty. His recovery wasn't that great, but he managed.

Sadly, not remembering anything made him somehow depressed and upset. He wanted to remember, but both Doctor Jaeger and Beatrice told him it was too dangerous for his health, and honestly, the headaches got worse by just forcing his mind to remember. Beatrice had told him that she would try her best to make new memories he wouldn't forget, so he just accepted it and moved on.

And it was true— after one year in this district he had made bad and good memories. [Name] was curious of his past, but even if he wanted to forget it he couldn't. Even if his headaches were horrible and awful, he sometimes tried to remember when he was alone at night in his room. But sometimes his headaches came out of nowhere— as if his mind forced him to remember...

Finally spotting Jaeger's house, he unconsciously rubbed his forehead as he approached. [Name] liked Dr. Jaeger— he was a nice man and helped him. But sometimes, when the man thought the boy wasn't looking... [Name] could see different eyes that he couldn't decipher. Blinking, [Name] shacked his head, trying to forget his weird thoughts. The boy knocked on the door, letting out a deep breath. Quickly after that it opened, revealing Miss Carla, and when she spotted him, a warm smile took her features.

"[Name]! Come in!" She opened the door and made space so he could come in, "Grisha was waiting for you! Aha! and what do you have here?" She asked, looking at the brown box in the boy's hands.

[Name] walks into the house, "it's croissants. My mom and I talked about a new recipe, and we want you to try it first." He finishes, giving a small smile to her. He handed her the box, which she gladly took.

"That would be perfect for today's meal! I'm excited to try them out, thank you, love!" She said as the woman patted him on the head and headed to her kitchen.

[Name] spotted Grisha sitting on the table writing things in one of his books and greeted him, "Good afternoon, Doctor Jaeger,"

He closed the book and smiled at him, "Good afternoon to you too, [Name]. Sit down with me and we will do the regular, alright?"

[Name] nods, obeying. Placing his hands between his legs, the boy moved his feet in front and back.

"How are the headaches? Any complications?"

"I got a nosebleed this week. I didn't try to remember, but the headache just came." [Name] paused, thinking about his previous thoughts, "It's... weird."

Grisha arched a brow, curiously looking at the boy, "What is?"

The amnesiac boy shifted in his seat, trying to get comfy. "It's like my mind wants me to remember, even if I don't want to. I don't really know how to explain it... Just like the gut feeling you get when something bad is gonna happen..." He mumbles, trying to find the right words. "It's... forcing me? Hmn...”

The doctor doesn’t say anything and just writes on his journal. [Name] can’t exactly see his gaze as the light reflects on his glasses— but he can certainly feel the change of aura the doctor had. It's different.

"Oh!" The boy blinks, "I got some scratches too on my back. I got into a fight the other day."

"Is that so?" The doctor hums, closing his book. "Let's check them then."

The man stands from his seat, heading to [Name]'s back. He commanded the boy turn so he could treat his injuries. The boy obeyed, feeling Dr. Jaeger removing his shirt and showing his bare back. But as just as the man take off his shirt, he suddenly stopped and left the shirt hanging from the shoulders. Weirded out by the silence, [Name] spoke.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, wondering if his injuries were worse than he imagined.

The boy's voice snapped Grisha into reality, it seemed, because the man blinked and hurriedly spoke into a 'trying-to-sound-normal' tone, which [Name] noted clearly. "Nothing at all. It's just that... you don't seem to have any injuries in your back. Are you sure you had them?"

"Well, my shirt was stained with blood when I took it off..." Narrowing his eyes, the boy crossed his arms, trying to think if he had imagined the blood— but obviously that wasn't the case. He did remember it, but now they were suddenly... gone.

Dr. Jaeger doesn't speak at first— he looks deep in thought, but eventually he talks again. "Maybe you imagined it, or someone's blood splashed on your shirt," the man chuckled as he helped [Name] to put on his shirt again, "you know how... violent you can get."

It could be true— his friends had told him how... brutal he turned when he fought the bullies. He was scarier than Mikasa and that was saying something.

"Could be." Was the only thing [Name] said before falling into silence.

The doctor sat down again, talking about another type of herb they could try, but it was hard to get. They were somehow rare, so for Grisha to find someone who sell them or find the plant itself was a challenge.

The boy blinks, "where are they?"

"Hmn? Who, Mikasa and Eren?" As the boy nods, Grisha responds, "they are collecting wood in the usual spot. They left some time ago."

The amnesiac boy had decided to look for them— after all, he always looked forward to helping the Jaeger family with anything they needed, as at least pay all of the help Mr. Jaeger have provided.

As the checkup finished, [Name] said goodbye to the parents, receiving a pat from Grisha and a kiss on the head by Carla.

"We'll tell you later how the croissants are! Or even better, you should join us for lunch!" The joyful woman said as she waved goodbye to the boy,

[Name] was lazy at the thought of go and find his friends— the spot wasn't that far away but still was a good amount of walking. Yawning, the boy was ready to go but he stopped in his tracks as he remembered what time and date was it— the survey corps returned today! Just with the thought the boy smiled, running to try and catch up before they arrived. [Name] always tried to be at the front whenever they returned— he always worried about their well-being. After all, they were the soldiers who saved him.

Running to the gates, he could already hear the amount of whispering saying bad things about them. It was a good thing [Name] didn’t care about them— if not, he would have throwing hands at everybody.

As he arrived, the bell immediately was heard. Frowning a little by the loud sound, the boy tried to be in front of the crowd but got pushed back by the adults. He pouted, annoyed. The little boy couldn’t see thanks to his height, but as he was going to look for a box to stand on, he felt a hand grabbing his own tightly.

Before [Name] could react rather aggressively to the unknown source, the voice he recognized was Eren, stopped him from doing so.

“I was looking for you!” He said, smiling widely at him. Mikasa was besides him as always, waving at the amnesiac boy with a small smile.

“You found me.” [Name] answered with a bland tone as he squeezed his hand. The brunette’s face went crimson as he smiled brightly at the positive reaction he got. It wasn’t a secret [Name]’s attitude was nicer when the survey corps returned or where going to leave, so Eren tried to take some advantage of that.

The three of them looked for some boxes to stand and see their return.

The gates opened, allowing to enter the soldiers on their horses. There was a silence the people fell on, waiting how things turned out.

[Name] was always rooting for them—not caring of what would happen, he supported them. He knew Beatrice wouldn’t be fond of the idea, but when he grew older he would join the military to be one of the survey corps. That was his dream the day he learned about the military, and no one was going to change that.

You shouldn’t be so sure.

Blinking, the boy looked at his sides but no one but Eren and Mikasa were with him. He didn’t recognize the voice neither, and he was sure someone whispered something to him. The brunette was too occupied to notice his reaction, as his attention was somewhere else. Maybe was his imagination? He was already paranoid all day— could be his mind playing games to him.

Shacking his head, [Name]’s gaze went to the soldiers. The looks on the majority of them made him frown— they didn’t look good. The expedition seemed to turn out bad, seeing the number of injured soldiers passing trough. They looked so... grim. His [eye color] eyes shifted to place to place, looking for a certain blond— he wasn't worried he didn't make it back, because he always did return. So when his eyes meet the blue ones, the boy stood on his tip toes as best as he could and waved with his expressionless face as Eren smiled at him too. Seemed the blonde couldn't hold his guilt or shame, seeing his frown and the way he averted their gazes. The brunette's smile fell, the same time [Name] pouted at his reaction.

"No good, uh?" [Name] whispered to himself, frowning. Eren's attention went to him, but soon shifted to the woman who spoke and went to where the commander was, asking about her son whereabouts. [Name] didn't want to be a pessimist, but something in his gut told him this was going to be upsetting— the same feeling that has been with him all day.

And well, it certainly was. 'Moses' was just an arm they could only retrieve— the last remain the mother had of his forever lost son. [Name] cringed at such sight, feeling dirty of watching it. This was horrible: something so... private? so heartbreaking? was for all the world to see. Even more awful with the poor response she got from the so called commander:

"J ust like all the other missions…we achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths! We haven’t found anything out about them!"

The [hair color] couldn't believe such answer. Was this the same guy he was saved by one year ago? Why was his guilt getting hold of him in front of this poor woman? [Name] frowned, averting his gaze of the scene. He admired them, he really did. The boy wanted to believe in them until the end, but he couldn't deny every return was a mess to see. He could already hear everyone's whispers, and not-so whispers of the people that wanted to be heard by the poor soldiers passing trough.

"Our taxes are basically going to feeding and fattening those things up now." A man in front of them spoke with no hint of empathy in his words, and [Name] instantly knew what was coming for him. He did not try to stop Eren from taking one of his firewood and hit the man on his head before being grabbed and pulled by Mikasa the same instant the man was going to throw a punch at him. As the two children disappeared, [Name] let his tongue out for the man to see, leaving shortly.

"You brat! Get back here!" The man tried to follow them, but as he turned to catch them, they were gone.

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The ravenette threw Eren against a wall, the wood flying all over the place.

"Mikasa, what the hell?!" The brunette whimpered, looking angrily at the girl.

[Name] doze off, thinking about the gut feeling he has been having all day, along with the whisper he heard not too long ago. His eyes focus on the ground, trying to think and decipher his discomfort.

"Hey," he gets the attention of the siblings, "does any of you have a weird feeling today?"

"Ah? Weird feeling?" Eren raises a brow as he picks the wood, "I don't get it."

"Of course you don't." [Name] blatant stated, unimpressed. Ignoring him his shouting, he turns to Mikasa, "do you?"

"I haven't. Why?"

[Name] tilts his head, crossing his arms, "dunno."

"You don't even know and you treat me like an idiot!" The brunette points at him, frowning and yelling.

"Because you act like one."

"[Name]! We talk about this!!!"

"Enough." The ravenette interjects, "[Name], are you coming for lunch? Mom told me to get you if you wanted to."

He tilted his head, thinking. [Name] was feeling lazy, he just wanted to get home and sleep until the next day. "No thanks. Maybe next time."

Eren raises a eyebrow, suspicious. "Hmn? Where are you going, then?"

"Sleep." [Name] states, yawning.

"But that's the only thing you always do! What about Armin? He must be alone right now."

"Then I should look for him to sleep together."

"You lazy...! I'm going with you then!"

"You can't." Mikasa takes his wrist, "mom is waiting for us and the wood."

The brunette whimpered, holding his jealously of not sleeping besides [Name]. "See you later, then..." The children wave at each other, everyone walking into separate directions.

"Bye bye."

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[Name] went to look for his friend. Luckily sometimes he could heard his voice and find him, but as the blonde was really quiet these moments were rare. The boy was going to leave his objective, until he found Armin sitting on an alley all alone, reading his book like he always was.

"There you are." [Name] softly spoke, seeing how determined Armin was as he read the text. His friend was passionate about reading and learning.

The blond turns his head to see his quiet friend, instantly smiling brightly at him. [Name] slightly smiles at such nice sight.

"Where you looking for me?" [Name] nods, kneeling besides him.

"I was going to ask you if you want take a nap with me in the woods."

It may seemed weird to ask such thing— but everyone knew [Name] loved sleeping all day. His... activities were lazy and not that energetic, but Armin didn't mind that. He enjoyed his time with him, it was a nice contrast of being with Eren and Mikasa.

"Sure!"

The walk was not that long. The chattering was done most by Armin, talking about the information of the book he had. [Name] nodded and spoke some time, listening to what he got interested on. As the wood appeared in their view, [Name] took Armin's hand and guided him easily. The boy had a favorite spot only his friends knew— it may have appeared like every other place inside the forest, but to him it wasn't.

The two laid on the ground, Armin on his side and opened the book. He wasn't sleepy at all, but as he was quiet —unlike Eren— [Name] didn't mind. He let out a yawn, placing his hands on his belly and closed his eyes, hearing the birds flying over the woods and the wind.

Something blue— the ocean Armin talked about? The same one he thought to see before?

No— the scenery changes: the woods, but not the same inside the walls. This one is different: the same one outside the walls. But there are houses— there's someone. A woman...?

A memory of a book? Wait— it's the journal! Someone is handing it to him? The journal and the hands holding it can only be seen— there's a voice... what does it say?

O̴͎͌̈̄̚u̴̹̖̫̻̙̣̦̖̪̗̠͖͆ĭ̶̱͇̔͠ ̸̳̪͉̙̜̞͆͆̋̏͑͐̉̕͘͝͠f̶̨̥̖̜̼͕͚̹͖̟͂̔̄̓̊͐͆̈́̓̒̕̚̕e̵̦̳̎̍̾̈ͅm̴̡͓͚̘̬͙̬̗̗̌̃̅̀͊́̂̚͘̕͠͝m̸̨̠̝̻̉̑̎͋͂͂͋ ̴̬̜̈̅͗̚͝͝ḥ̴̡̻̜͆̌̈͌̊͛̐͗ͅą̸̛̠̠͉̪͍̮͔͔͕̼̰͂̂̽̈́͐̀͋̏͘ą̷̤̻̜͍̟̺̋̃̀͂̓̌̈́͌̚̚̕t̴̯̻͉̣͙͒̍́̍͜͝ ̶̢̢̰͈̠̗̻̹̗̫̥͋̿̓̈̈͗̀̈́̚ẽ̷̘̤͉͖̬̼͖̾͐̈́̓͑̈́̃́͋̑͑̃d̴͔͕̣͕͚̞.̶̡̊̓̇́ ̵͉̦̘̹͈̪̓̄͋̊̏̓D̵̺̳̱̭͖̥̮̝̙͛͌̂́͋ͅy̷̢̡̟̻̳̦̰̯̬͙̞͋̌g̸̼̀̇͐̄̔̽͛̌̇͂̕͠a̷̧̤̙̠̲̹͕̒̈́̈́̉̃̋͊̾̈̚ ̷̮͖̆̾͆̈́̐̉͛̑̅l̶͙̟̙̘̳̫̬̥̃̈͛̐̉y̶̡̜͍͛̄͌͘ͅṅ̸̮͙̫̖̤͉̤̜͚͔͇̭̍̐͛̆̃̒ä̷̡̼͇̘̖̝͖͖͍͓͎̊̊̊̄͐̂̎̏̕ ̶̥̞̤̋̿̈́͛̈́́ư̶̧̬̟͕̭͈̫̲͖͙͚̽͋̑͜v̷̧̳͓̙̖̯͚̰̠͇̙̊̆̒͛͂̏͘͝͝ ̴̢̟͚̜̱͚̱̤̜̭̃̋̌̏̌̔͝͝͝e̸̡̧̼̙̤̹̲̩̪̗̍͗͗͊́͛̐̾͘̕̚d̵̢̛̦͓͙̺͒͒̏̔́̅͒̓͑͋̕̕.̵̧̧̛̫͇̞̼͎̣͉͙͌̍̽͑͊̿͆͗̑̋̚̕͜ .̴̡̠͉̬̱̟͈̌̎̽̄͆̂̀̿͛̆̚

He can't understand it— what's she saying?

Something else. The place is so different... so... strange. It's not inside the walls— there are people... pointing at them with guns? What is this? Why do you show me this?

Who is examining their eyes? Hey—! It's his eyes— they have them too! Where are they? It's his family? Tell me!

You should wake him up— it's too early.

What are you talking about?! It's the only link we've made in years!

He's right. We will do damage if we show more. Let's not overdo it.

.

.

.

.

Uh?

"[Name]! Wake up!"

[Name] instantly opens his eyes and gets up, breathing fast. He takes a moment to understand what he saw— but he can't remember any of it. Like a dream he wanted to remember, but was erased forever. What was it? He had to remember— he had to! It was something important-- he knows it. But as soon he tries to imagine at least a bit of it, his headache comes with full force, shutting him down. He lets out a whimper as he hold his head.

Armin gets worried immediately, "are you alright?!" He closes his book and gets near him, exterminating him.

[Name] finds his voice to ask irritated, "why did you wake me up?"

The blond blinks, unsure, "y-you seemed to have a bad dream... you were whispering things and moving a lot. Do you remember any of it?"

"No." [Name] sighs, exasperated by the failure, "we should go back."

Armin is confused— did he do something wrong? He tries to apologize, but [Name] stands up, giving his hand for Armin to take, which he does. They leave without much to say, but [Name] can't shake off the odd feeling even more. He's uncomfortable, and if Armin notices it, he doesn't say anything.

When they get to the gates, [Name] speaks. "I should go with mom, I've been wandering too much."

"O-Oh, well... see you later!" Armin waves and smiles, seeing [Name] leave into another direction with a odd expression. He's worried, but doesn't pry.

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[Name]'s house is far from the gates— a little trouble some when you have your friend's house near the gates. The boy is irritated already, and hearing such multiple voices from the people only gets him even more exasperated. Plus, this 'odd feelings' he's having is only making him mad. What does this mean? Would something happen today? Something bad? Good? He doesn't know at all. Maybe the best thing to do is tell Beatrice in the end. As she said before, 'bottle up things doesn't work. Someday they will come out even if you don't want to.'

Just the thought of his mom and her delicious pastries calms him— he's happy. [Name] doesn't want to leave her at all... but he knows when the military comes, he will join and there won't be much 'family meetings'.

He yawns. He's almost half-way his house, almost there. Everyone is talking, but [Name] doesn't pay attention on what they are talking about, just the sound of their voice. The wind...

Wait. Something changed— as if the air turned heavy, as if something bad was behind him. Someone or something tells him to not turn around because there's something behind— but [Name] hears it before anyone else, like always. He doesn't know what is that sound, but his mind is telling him is something dangerous, something that should be feared— there's no words to understand it, and he doesn't even know what is he hearing, but someone is telling him to run. But he doesn't.

[Name] abruptly stops, widening his eyes in terror. Turning his whole body behind, his gaze locks on the wall, and just in a millisecond, a thunder appears from the sky and shocks into something behind the wall. And then, that thing appears— [Name] doesn't know what the hell is that thing looking at him, but at the same time he can't deny a sense of familiarity. He's shocked, looking at it's eyes.

Everyone is watching the titan with shock, fear, amazement. They are waiting for what it's about to do, but no one is prepare of what is going to happen. As the titan gets a grip on the wall, it moves, and after a couple of seconds it's foot kicks the gate, sending wind blows at everything near it. Debris gets on various houses and on people, killing them instantly. [Name] can't move, the only thing he can do is watch the horror in front of him. The colossal titan disappears, as if it was never there to begin with. Everyone runs away as they see the titans coming their way— multiple of them.

"What is happening?!"

M̵̨͖̞͓͇̲̺̝̱̪̜̻̀́̄̇̋̈́͗̓̌ǫ̴̘͙͔͈̫̣̠̖̭͙̲̅v̶̛̺̗̟͓͔̱̹̿̿̂͛̈̎̈́̆̏̕̚ͅe̶̡̨̛̯̰̰̞̭̯͓͌̿̔̓̒̒̐̈́͗͘,̸̡̛̤̲̳̫͚̝͈ ̸̯͆͋͂̈́͊͘b̶̧̤̩̹͈͕̘̝̺͗̍̽ṟ̶̨̜̻̪͇̹̣͔͇̞͍̘̓͊̎͌å̷̢̨̡̨̧̧̹̗̝̠t̵̢̤͈̐̀!̴̤̣̘̻͉͎̫̹͉̇̽͑͛̆̐̔̐̂̋̂͠ͅͅ

[Name] runs as fast as he can to his house. He thanks whoever his house is far away from this mess, but he can't forget Eren's house is just at the gate. Would they be alright? Should he go for them?! The boy stops, undecided if to run to his house or go to Eren's— is this time to even think?

H̸̝̦̖͍͈͖̱̩̪̙͂̃̉̿͂̓̽̂̐̍̕͘ͅe̴̙̩͇͐́͛̽̔͂y̵̛̮̣͍̺͖͕̰̓͌͋̎͗̔̂͝ͅ!̵̡͓̜̺̝̱̪̙̌͒̂̀̌̕ͅ ̶̖̙͙̟̗̼̰͈̘͇̠̩̿̊̉͛̇̊̈́̌͐̐̚S̴̙̟̞͛t̴͖̤̱̪̅͋̈́̇̓͑͛͆͝ơ̵̡͎͎̯̎̔̓̃͋͆͑̊̆͒̕p̴̨̨̩̼̞̖̜̝͇͎̺̏̓̌͑͝͠ͅ ̵̧͈̼̝͓̩̜͙͍̈̈́̎̆̍̐̏̑͂̄̃̈ͅṱ̴̛̠̜̫͈̬͉̼̫̩̲̜̑͑͆̎̄̆̎̎̆͆̚͘h̶̬̬͚̑̄̔͆i̶͓ṅ̸̢̛̘̥͙̪͖̜̥̩̱́̈́͒̈́͜͠ķ̶̟͈̤̗̟͉̖̫̞̫͍̔̋̿̽͠ǐ̸̳̜̝̩̭̤͇̯͉̺̝̰̍̽͗͋̕ñ̷̘̜͚́͊ͅģ̶̨̘̬̝̫̺̰͙͖͒͊͛̒͛̃̀͂̚̚͜͠ ̷̥͇̗͖̟̹̲̘̊͊́̈́̒̀̓͌͑̏͆͌͠a̸̮͚͓͖̳̭̞͐̅̈͛͗̇͗̃̄̈́̚͝n̶̛͍͖͎̠͇̦͈̿͛͜d̷͚̯͗̂ͅ ̴̬͚͍̘̝̯̥̆̈r̶̦͈̉̀ų̸̮̺̳͈͚̻͙͖̝̎͐̅̔̎͛̏̈͐̑͠n̶̲̤̟̹̭͔̈́̃̏͊̏̌̂̕ͅ ̶̞̀̑́̕a̶̼̙̭̲̣̞̋̃͋̓̀͆w̸̧̜͉̼͉̅͐̽̿͗͂̓̃a̵̡̫̝͖̪̞̍y̸̡̪̖͖̹̲͔̹͖̯͙͊̑̏͂̏̇͘̕!̸̨̡̩̬̙̱͚̭̬̟̩̋̐͜

No— Beatrice is worried, you should go back.

He doesn't want to leave his friends, but something makes him run at the direction of his house. The boy does his best to try and doze off the horrible sounds around him— the screams, the whispers on his back, the horrifying sounds the titans make... the scared boy locks his gaze in front on him until he gets to his house safe and sound, where Beatrice is waiting.

He can already see her outside her house, trying to understand what in the world is going on. She's worried, but her expression changes when she sees [Name] running towards her. As soon as the boy gets there, he grabs her hand and tries to pull her to the inside's gate as he explains, "we need to go! something appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the gate!"

"W-What?! T-That can't be possible!" Beatrice widen her eyes as she tries to process the situation. But as she sees everyone running towards the gate and notices the titans far away coming where they are, her expression turn into one of terror. "W-We need our stuff!"

"There's no time! We have to go!" [Name] takes charge and tries to leave, but Beatrice can't move. "They will get here, mom!" Both can hear and see the Garrison Soldiers trying to take care of the disaster, but as everyone knows, they are not capable of holding it.

Beatrice lets out a shaky breath before nodding and get on running.

Fortunately the gate is already open— they cross it, seeing soldiers preparing ships to sail. There are a lot of people gathering already, but [Name] hopes everything gets done fast. They hurriedly walk there, waiting for their turn to get on the ship.

"I wonder if they are alright..." He can't stop himself to think about them— he should have been with them first. But then, maybe Beatrice would look for him and get hurt. What was the right thing to do? "They have to be..."

Beatrice squeeze his shoulder. "They are, [Name]. They are strong."

It's really slow, but soon they get on one of the ships that is already full. There are two more empty, but [Name] wonders if everyone of Shinganshina can get on just these boats. His eyes try to see if his friends are there, but he can't see them at all. He only hears desperation, but not their voices. He's shaking, but Beatrice tries her best to calm him down. She's scared too, terrified, even. She can't even comprehend what just happen— there was a heavy sound far away from her house, but then what? The boat sails, leaving the disaster that the district hold.

The woman hugs her child with caring, closing her eyes and wishing for the best.

So, was this the gut feeling you were having all day?

Flower Curse | C. Look for the doctor

emptiness ending

[levi x male!reader x erwin] vomiting; hanahaki disease, angst. C. Look for the doctor

You decide to find the doctor Ziegler told you about— maybe he would have more answers for the matter. You didn't exactly know if this 'Timothy Eisenhower' would be any help; Barry mentioned the doctor didn't have any patients with this illness, so the chances of success were already slim in your mind.

Nevertheless, you think this is the best option. You don't want to die suffocated by flowers— that's not how you wanted to go, and not this soon. You wanted to live— live to explore the outside world along with your comrades.

Yes, that's what you are going to do. Determinated, you nod to yourself, leaving the cold room.

___________________

"Now?"

"Yes, right now."

Erwin closes his eyes, thoughtful. "I can't go with you— the expedition is in two days and—"

"I'm not asking you to come with me." You bluntly say, interrupting him, "I just need the address Barry gave you– I'm a big boy, Erwin. I can go alone." Crossing your arms, you look expectantly at him, waiting for the paper.

The blond sighs, calming himself; trying not to get too stressed with your childish behavior. No way in hell he will let you go alone in your current state— even if you act like a teenager and throw tantrums, Erwin will not allow you going by yourself. Who knows what would happen to you? You could faint; you could throw up in front of the Military Police and god knows what they will do to you. Hell, even Erwin could think of–

"Hey, Erwin! Time doesn't wait!"

The commander rubs his temples, trying to think who could accompany you. Hange and Moblit are not available at the moment, and they are the only ones who know about your illness. He knows you will not talk to anyone about the curse, but he just will not allow you going by yourself.

Erwin has only one choice, "Mike will accompany you."

You blink, surprised, "Mike? But he doesn't know about this... I think it's better if–"

"You will not go alone— you won’t go outside without any company. You are absolutely forbidden going by yourself, am I clear, [Name]?" Erwin demands, looking fiercely at you, making you uncomfortable and gulp by the sudden tension in his voice.

Well, when Erwin was acting like this there wasn't much room for demands. You sigh in defeat, making him relax by your change. The blond wasn't pleased by any means using this tone with you— but if it made you obey him, then he had to obligatory use it.

"In any case, I believe Mike has his suspicions. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned anything."

"Alright, alright... Mike is it, then."

__________________

Fortunately, Mike wasn't a man of many words, so the traveling was spent in silence. It seemed Erwin had explained your situation to him, or maybe the tall man just somehow knew everything with his nose of his. Or maybe he didn't bother to ask at all— you weren't sure. Mike didn't really give out what he was thinking that easily.

You were transported to Wall Maria, but you had to walk to point A to B. The doctor was in a district not far from where your transportation left you— so Mike and you didn't mind walking.

"I've smelled different type of flowers on you." Mike suddenly spoke, thinking about something. "Some of them are unrecognizable, but I can smell they are flowers."

You snorted, "Thank you, Mike. That's the most flattering thing someone has said to me."

Mike ignored your joking behavior and kept talking, "and what is rare it's that every time I smell sickness and distress on you, some flower's fragrance appear." He finally looks at you with his stoic expression, "If my assumptions are correct, the flowers are somehow involved with your illness, right?"

You sigh, "You nailed it." Deciding that talking to him was for the best, the rest of the trip was spent by you explaining your situation. Mike listened carefully at everything you said— eventually, his nose could catch a hint of worry and anxiety coming from you. He could smell your distress, and he instantly noticed a certain soft smell— flowers incoming.

Instantly, he could see your face changing in worry, bringing a hand to cover your mouth.

"I—I have to vomit—" You hastily said, looking erratically for a place to hide your sickness. Mike quickly took your shoulders and helped you walk to a lonely alley, where he could see something he never had witnessed — you throwing up flowers. Pink flowers he had never seen or smell before.

You stopped throwing up, but a painful headache came, with the familiar feeling of something stuck in your chest. Mike helped you stand, while you tried to catch your breath.

"Let's just— look for the doctor..."

____________

Mike knocked on the door, with you beside him. You were feeling a little better, but your chest was left with the same feeling. You weren't breathing normally, but thanks to Mike's company you felt a little safer. You thanked Erwin for deciding not leaving you alone.

Not much after that, the door opened, revealing a man. His hair was black, and he showed a neutral expression— his blue eyes were staring at you in confusion.

"Hello gentlemen, what's the occasion?" The man asked, eyeing you too carefully.

You decided to talk, "I'll get straight to the point. I have the stupid flower curse and I need your help." You could see worry in all of his face; he was uncomfortable and tensed.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about, sorry." He said in hurry, closing the door. But thankfully, Mike reacted and stopped the door, leaving it slightly opened.

Was he going to leave you to die? The hell?! "Barry Ziegler told me about you, he said you could help me!" You yelled angrily at him, instantly making him stop.

The doctor looked at you, unsure. "Barry... Ziegler?"

"Yes! The writer!"

The man looked at you two for a couple of seconds, before reluctantly opening the door again. You sighed in relief.

"Come in." He said, letting you in. The man looked outside, seeing if anyone heard you, before closing the door.

_______________________

Timothy, who introduced himself after his little... act, placed tea in front of you. Mike and you were sat on a couch, with a small table in front of you. No one took the tea cups; Mike was with his arms crossed, and you were playing with your fingers on your lap.

"Sorry for my... attitude earlier," Timothy apologized, "It's just, I've been in a couple of problems thanks to this topic, so I had to be careful,"

"Don't worry— just, help me, please." You said, nervous. Mike, who could sense your worry, placed a hand on your shoulder, calming you a little.

The doctor could hear the worry in your voice, he could see your distress on your face— he felt sympathy for you, but he knew he couldn't promise anything.

"I will do everything I can."

After that, the doctor lead Mike and you to a room. It smelled like medicine and herbs; there were a lot of medic instruments you didn't really recognize.

"I will do a check-up, so can you sit here, please?"

You obey. He asks for you to open your mouth, which you uncomfortably do. He takes a look, and a small gasp gets out from his mouth.

Mike instantly asks what is it, worried about your health. The doctor stays in silence, before answering. And what you heard made both of you shiver.

“I can see… a flower growing...”

The room stays in a tensed silence, but the doctor continues with the check-up. After some minutes, he speaks again.

“Like I said before, I will do everything I can to help you. But you have to understand that my options are limited.” He waits for your response, but seeing you weren’t going to give an answer he proceeds, “I’ve been studying this disease for a long time, but with no patients, I haven’t treated anyone. But thanks my research, what I’ve concluded is that a surgery could work.

My hypothesis is that something inside you is growing— and I can clearly see something is in there. Nevertheless, I will be honest with you— surgeries are difficult, and with our limited instruments I don’t know if this could work, and I don’t know the outcome either.

I will ask you: are you completely sure you want to proceed knowing the risks?”

You already knew the risks before coming here. You have been in near death situations every expedition you are in; this isn’t much different.

“Yes, I understand.”

The doctor nods, “We can do the surgery right now, or do you want to-”

“Today.”

“Then follow my orders.”

___________

Mike waited in the living room, tensed. He has been in that house for nearly four hours— it was already dark outside. He didn’t know if he would go back to the barracks. It was logic you would need to rest here, so taking you with him wasn’t a good option, but leaving without you didn’t make him comfortable at all.

Eventually, the doctor appeared, sweating and looking exhausted. Mike wasn’t sure if the surgery was a success or not, and he couldn’t stop himself to worriedly ask.

“Did it work? Is he alright?” Mike got up from the couch, looking expectantly at the man.

The man sighed, before answering,

“It was a success.”

Mike let out a big sigh, relieved.

____________

You had to stay in his house after the surgery— you didn’t wake up right away. But when you opened your eyes, you spotted a blond sitting beside you, with his eyes closed.

You tried to shift your body, but a huge pain in your chest made you grunt. The sound woke up the taller man, and instantly set his eyes on you.

“[Name], how are you feeling? Don’t move too much— your stitches are fresh.” Erwin said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

You blink, disorientated. “W-What…? How did you get here? How long I was out?”

The blond sighs, “When Mike returned without you I nearly had a heart attack. When he told me about the situation I came as fast as I could. Also, you were out for one day.”

You just nod.

“Levi is worried— when he didn’t see you yesterday he barged in and demanded answers. I didn’t tell him the truth, but…”

You didn’t hear him anymore; instead, your head contemplated how hearing that name didn’t bring any feelings this time. No frenetic heart; no butterflies; no thoughts about him. It was… empty. In fact, hearing his name didn’t bring you any joy or hate— and you felt you weren’t in a friendship with him in any way.

In fact… you really didn’t feel anything. Seeing Erwin didn’t bring you comfort, but it didn’t make you tensed. You just… stared, blank. You didn’t feel a thing.

Erwin noticed your lack of attention, looking at your unreadable face— he instantly became worried. The blond always knew what you were thinking by your expressions; he always noticed your feelings right away. But he didn’t see anything; only… nothingness. He became preoccupied.

After that, Erwin called the doctor. Timothy did a check-up on you, and told both of you that maybe the outcome left a shock in your mind, resulting in you not feeling well mentally. He decided you were free to go, and said he wanted you to return for another check-up, to collect information about your recovery.

When you two returned to the barracks, a tensed silence overcome. The commander observed you, seeing your indifferent expression. Your voice sounded low and uninterested, and you barely spoke up.

Everyone noticed your change in demeanor, and they were rightfully worried. Your squad was beyond worried— but you couldn’t explain why you were like this, and you surely didn’t say a thing. It was as if… you didn’t care. As if the world could end and you couldn’t care less.

As expected, your talk with Levi didn’t go well. It went absurdly bad, and the only one who had his feelings shown was the ravenette— he couldn’t understand you at all anymore. It was as if you were another person; not his old friend. You didn’t react at all, you didn’t look for him, you didn’t talk to him.

It was a punch to the gut.

It was as if someone took your feelings away, leaving a vessel behind.

Yes, the petals stopped, but at what cost? Timothy told you maybe this was the outcome of the surgery— your mind changed by taking away the roots from the flowers, leaving you with anything. Tearing apart your feelings.

Erwin was upset by your behavior— he missed your old self. Yes, you were cured, but you weren’t the same. You didn’t talk anymore, your face didn’t show any sign of happiness. He couldn’t see the smile he loved, and that hurt. It did. He couldn’t stop himself to think about you every night, about what could have been if he approached you and embraced you, and he wasn’t very surprised a petal appeared in one of these lonely nights, thinking of you.

Levi was confused and angry. What happened to you? He liked the times were he could hear you laugh, but not there was nothing. Not even a small spark in your eyes, not a smile, not a blush. He was upset— he liked talking to you, and seeing you unresponsive... made him feel sadness. He missed you, and he was desperate when he finally could say that he wanted be with you in a romantic way, but that couldn’t be. You made no sign on wanting talking to him, and even if he approached you in the nicest way possible, you didn’t give answers. Even if he was aggressive, you didn’t give anything. It was as if you never were friends. He was hurt, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Yes, you were cured, but at what cost?

Are you happy with the choice you made?

I love your works :>

Thank u very much 🥺 i wish I could update more—! 😭

I read all the ask all of u send me, so dont think i wont do your requests 😢😢💕 thank u a lot for the support. I love u all and sorry for my horrible absence!!

You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.

Jodi Picoult (via wordsnstuff)

N0IRRRR COMING IN CLITCH WHEN NO ONE IS UPDATING 💖💗💓💞💝💕❣️💗❤️💞💗💕💘💞💝💗

LETS GOOOOOOOOO

Did you quit

nope, it's just a long hiatus because of life, and that has affected my inspiration and mood for writing :c

also, since reading my stuff again has made me cringe so badly, i think i've decided to rewrite/overwrite RMA and empty because it is soo bad... although i have mostly written rma's next chapter, i'm not sure when i will finish it :C

honestly, seeing these two works public makes me so stressed LOL. i hope readers dont take them the wrong way, although they are really bad omg. i've wanting to erase them completely, but i know there are people who come back to re-read them and i guess that is stopping me.

hopefuly i can write small stories or oneshots for more than the aot fandom, so don't be mad at me if im not updating those two series!

also, empty got a russian translation 9 months ago, and i just completely forgot i had messages here. so check if out.

i know there are asks that havent been answered... (っ◞‸◟ c)

when you’re trying to write and your last two functioning brain cells start yelling at each other

Just wanted to say I miss u and ur works. I also hope you’re doing better & wishing u the best of luck 💗💗

that felt nice to read (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) i do miss all of you, so i'm going to try and not disappear again. thank you v much and have a good day!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Male x Male reader blogs Suggestions

So, these are just some male reader blogs that I know of!

@softboy5393 - They are a really good friend of mines and writes amazing male reader stories. They'll also write trans.

@marilynmonroefanfics - if you like reading headcannons, then this blog is for you! He does take a while to do it but in the end, it's worth the wait.

@chaoticforever - If you like reading yandere males x male reader, this is the blog for you!

@pietroshusband and @callmeshakespurr - they are new authors on the scene! Go show them support!

@iliumheightnights - You like reading fluff and angst (happy ending) then this one is for you!

@clouddd-hannn - Like Kpop? Then this one is for you! They write amazing Kpop males x male reader

@bnha-dumpster - Like dark stuff (the REALLY, REALLY dark stuff) then this one is for you! (Though, proceed with caution on this one.)

@bubble-tea-bee - Like slashers? This blog is for you then (You must be 17 years or older, its is part of their rules)

@n0irrrr - Attack on Titan? This blog is for you!

Honorable mentions: @mlm-writer @davidlikesboys02 @bonnyskies @myfeetkeepdancing @malereader-inserts @onionsaremeansstuff @patrickswhore @malexmalereader @undercoveravenger @theotakusupreme-h1dd3n @syiano

feel free to put your suggestions!

hey, i hope ur doing ok :) i was wondering, r ur stories discontinued or r u still on hiatus? <3<3

hello!

none of my stories are discontinued unless stated otherwise! i know i don't update for months and months... but i still write or i try to write everyday at least one sentence, or just a few words to both of my stories and many others ;v; i don't want to say i'm in hiatus, but i really don't have time for anything these past few months and it has been pretty stressful. yet i really want to update so i try to get chapters done very slowly,,,, ;_;

if i do cancel/discontinue my stories, i will post an announcement saying so (: hopefully that won't happen LOL.

and yes, i'm doing ok! thank you very much. hope all of u are doing good and everything is going well! hopefully i can post something this month or the next................... hopefully orz.