Missing You

Hi, you are an amazing writer and I believe that you have a bright future and as a personal advice, I believe you have to be comfortable and happy with the things you write because at the end the work you made is for you, so I´ll be more than happy to read all your ideas.

Thank you so much for the kind words. It really means the world to me that people like my writings! I appreciate it :)

That antoine imagine was so cute oh God I have so much love for this boi I'm so glad you're writing for him- 🥖

Thank youuuu! I’m glad you like it! :)

Never the same

A Raymond imagine ( 'The Gentlemen' 2020)

Summary: Before Raymond became a man hardened by the harsh reality of the world he belongs to, one to never get attached and live for himself alone, there was her. Someone he would have given his life for and someone he ultimately chose to let go. And after her, he has never been the same.

Warnings: Substance consumption, angst

I hope you will enjoy reading this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it. It has been way too long since I have written something, but whilst I was gone I developed a massive love towards Charlie Hunnam and characters portrayed by him, the latest one being Ray. Feedback is always appreciated and my apologies if the aforementioned warnings lack something important, as it is the first time I am disclosing them in my writings! Enjoy! :)

Italics indicate retrospectives!

~

Raymond wasn't always quite like this. He wasn't one to seek out one night stands, too endorsed in guarding his already broken heart to give a shit about the heart of a girl he takes home for the night. Too endorsed in satisfying his primal needs after drinking the night away to forget the emptiness his soul has strung along since the day he left her. The day his soul last felt complete. Ever since then nothing has been able to fix what was broken and Raymond hadn't bothered to, anyway. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Too engrossed in self-hatred that he has managed to hide from the prying eyes of his boss and subordinates. At least that's what he thought. 

Every morning is a painful reminder of a past self that he can no longer recognize in the mirror, however, that has never stopped him from putting on a happy face and going on with his duties as Mickey’s right hand, only to fall in bed with a woman whose name he wasn't even bothered to remember, too drunk to feel anything at the end of the day. The only thing keeping Raymond from going insane is that he truly believes letting her go was the right thing to do, even though lately he has been having trouble distinguishing right from wrong, happiness from sadness and dreams from nightmares. It's her that has been poisoning his dreams, getting a hold of his most hidden memories, ones too good, yet painful to ponder on even for a minute without them leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mouth with what-could-have-beens and what-ifs. Ones that make him wish he could take it all back and once again become the man he used to be with her.

~

“You do realise that I love you more than life itself, do you?” she said, letting out a light chuckle afterwards as to not sound so desperate. Desperate to love him, have him, call him hers. But her eyes gave it away. They always did. Raymond was able to read her like a book. A book filled with secrets, pain, suffering and outweighed by joy, happiness and love so pure it could complete his own corrupted soul. With her sun seemed to shine a little brighter, the water seemed to be a tad bit bluer and he was able to see past the life of a criminal he had decided to become a part of. 

This was a reoccurring conversation they seemed to be having almost daily at this point. Just like Raymond was able to read her like a book, so could she read him. And behind that handsome face and beautiful, albeit tormented soul hid a vulnerable man scared to fully commit to her, give himself to her and just love, because the life he is used to leading is no place for love and weaknesses. And a weakness she is. 

“I know,” is all he would answer. But that seemed to be enough for her because behind those two words hid a sea of emotions he felt for her. And she knew. She knew he loved her, possibly more than she could even comprehend. What she didn't know, however, is that through these simple, yet oh so vulnerable conversations they have also been saying goodbye.

~

Raymond awoke in cold sweat, too shaken by his dreams to fall back asleep, too restless to just numb his mind and rid of the feelings he thought he had grown out of. Foolish of him, he knows, but how could he not think that the love he once felt for her is gone if he doesn't even remember the last time he willingly thought of her. Only in his dreams does he let his guard down and unconsciously prays to go back to the days when he called her his. Before he found a remedy in alcohol and drugs that for once filled his system with something that numbed his bottled-up feelings. But tonight it wasn't an option, he was on a job that required for him to be alert of his surroundings and the looming threat of getting killed by Mickey's rivals looking to retaliate. And so he was forced to face his biggest enemy in the dark of the night. Himself.

~

“I just… don't understand. How can this be a goodbye, how can you just walk away?” she cried, too hurt to hide her tears, too broken to pretend like she can fix this. Because even though she doesn't want to believe it, she knows he is leaving. And there is nothing she can do, even though there is nothing she wouldn't do just to have him for one more day.

“You knew all too well how this is going to end when we decided to give this a shot. We are not working out and there is nothing you can do to change my mind,” he said, seemingly unphased by their imminent parting on the outside, while he was absolutely breaking on the inside. However, for once in her own heartbreak she wasn't able to see past his exterior, only meeting his cold eyes and stoic face that made her soul break a little more, for she thought she had truly lost him. In reality, he was breaking on the inside, too, a little more now that he sees the pain he has inflicted upon her. But this had to be done to protect her. Because if there is one thing in the world he wouldn't forgive himself for, it's being blinded by love and letting her get hurt by the world he belongs to, a world all too harsh for someone so pure. 

~

The job had gone smoothly and Raymond awoke to a world filled by one less enemy lurking behind his back. And so it called for a celebration, one to numb his mind and put the last night's events to rest. What he didn't anticipate, however, is seeing her occupying his favourite seat by the bar he often joked to be his third home. While at first, his heart skipped one too many beats, causing his face to pale and palms to sweat, something about her presence brought the feeling of peace. For once in the longest time, everything seemed to fall into its place, as if stars had aligned in his favour. Because he can no longer stand the thought of living through another night dreaming of their shared past that still haunts him. Admittedly, after her, Raymond has never been the same. But maybe, just maybe, after seeing her for the first time in years, the same glimmer in her eyes, bright smile and laughter that made him fall utterly and unconditionally in love with her, being the foolish boy who once used to be able to call her his is not what he yearns to be any more, for he was the one who let her go. Maybe what he needs is another chance at being a better man. 

With her. 

Just imagine the things those arms could do to you…. I just…. ughhh

hii just wanted to say that I love your new kylo ren story idea and I look forward to reading it 😊

Thank you so much! 💕 I am really excited to be writing again, especially about Kylo, even though I haven’t done it before. So I really hope the new series will meet your expectations. Stay tuned! :)

I'm that anon from the baguette part. I love him so much and that's really cool of you to write for him keep it going lovely!! I'll be now singing here as a 🥖 so u know it's me 😂

I think we have a deal, my baguette anon 🥖 :)

Requests are open!

Send in your imagine/one shot/blurb requests about Antoine Griezmann! The World Cup once again got me in my feelings, and I have missed writing so much! Keep ‘em coming!!!!

MASTERLIST

One shots

Harry Styles:

Missing you

Don't ever leave me

She is...

Antoine Griezmann:

I need you

All that matters

Make me

It's me that's lucky

Charlie Hunnam:

Never the same - A Raymond Imagine (‘The Gentlemen’ 2020)

Whoever you want it to be:

No more

Prompt list for requests

I need you

An Antoine Griezmann imagine

Based on this request:

Hey! I saw you’re taking requests so I thought maybe something about Antoine being with a new girl after Erika and him broke up and she’s a lot younger then him and she meets his family for the first time and she feels really insecure and scared that his family will think she‘s ruining his life?

Part two will be up shortly! Enjoy!

~~~

It’s been over six months now since Erika and Antoine's divorce. Though it was hard for both of them, especially knowing that they share a child, Antoine had known that it is for the better. Though at first the thought of them two splitting was only something he had seen as a side effect of being so tired, thus always frustrated with everything going on in his life, he could not for the dear life of him forget the night he had met you.

It was around eight months ago. The season had just ended, and Antoine and his team mates had gone out for a drink to the local pub in Madrid. The night was filled with alcohol and laughs, a few more serious topics had found their way in the conversations, but it was nothing more than just drunk talks, or at least that’s what Antoine had thought. He vaguely remembers telling his friends that he is tired of the consistency in his life, tired of coming home to be met with his wife that always says and asks the same meaningless things, tired of feeling no more spark in their relationship. He loved her and his daughter, of course, but the feeling in his guts was trying to prove him otherwise to mess with his mind. But maybe it was just the alcohol...

You, however, were sitting by the bar with your friends and sipping the not-so-club-esque drink of Coke, not feeling in the mood to get piss drunk and not remember even anything that had happened the night before, like it had happened to your friend the other day and left her traumatised to such an extent that she did not even attend your weekly friday outing. Your friends were spinning around the dance floor, some were looking for a compatible one night stand, while the others were way too tipsy to even look like they are dancing, not just having a casual seizure in the middle of the club. The feeling in your bones had sent shivers down your spine, once you recognised that someone has been watching you the whole time you were lost in your thoughts. You felt the piercing look, but you didn’t dare to glance in its direction. You figured that it would be for the best, as it would not provoke something you were not even sure you would be able to handle, if necessary. After a while, though, the curiosity had gotten the best of you, making you look directly in the direction of the glare, but you found nothing. Just a couple of backs turned in your direction, some shaking with laughter, some twisted in an ungodly way to see someone that had fallen off of a stool. It almost felt as a disappointment to you. It’s not like you wanted the attention, but the fact that you never really got it angered you. It was until you felt a warm breath on your neck that triggered your heartbeat.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but you look way too lonely and beautiful to spend the night alone,” the stranger had said.

You turned around only to be met with the most beautiful blue eyes you thought you had ever seen. Your breath hitched in your throat and it was suddenly hard to breathe, yet you managed to get out a response that intrigued the handsome man in front of you. One sentence lead to another and by the end of the night it felt as if you had know Antoine already prior your meeting, but it certainly didn’t bother you. Though you had learned that he was in his mid-twenties, married and had a child, with you being almost six years younger than him and single, something about him screamed despair and longing for something more in his life, but it was against your principles to even imagine having something more with him than just a conversation. When the time came for you to leave, you had decided against giving him your number or even telling him your last name in the hopes of him trying to find you via social media. He was saddened, to say the least, but understood that asking for your number would lead to something more than just a friendly relationship, or at least that was what he had imagined. He was smitten by you in a matter of few minutes and letting you go seemed as the worst decision in his life.  

The next few days went by as a blur for both of you, as neither of you had been able to think of anything else than one another. It was until one night that Antoine had only seen you as just a girl in the bar that he oh so desperately was trying to get out of his brain. A night in which he dreamt of thoughts so unholy that even he himself was surprised by how needy he was to see you again, to smell your perfume and touch the silkiness of your skin. It was once again Friday, when he had told Erika he was going out with his mates, when in fact he was just hoping to see you again. Of course he had remembered you saying that this was the usual weekly outing place for you and your friends, and he couldn't have been more anxious yet giddy just to see you again. Once he entered, his eyes were looking for your face, butterflies were swarming his stomach - a feeling he had not felt in a very long time. Once he saw you, he couldn’t help but smile, but that soon vanished as he noticed you sitting with a guy he knew you hadn’t mentioned before. A pang of jealousy had struck him then and there, yet he knew there is nothing he could do about it as you weren’t his. He slowly approached the bar and made sure that he did so in a manner that would not go unnoticed by you. He pretended to notice you only after a while of sitting by the bar and sipping on a glass of scotch. He noticed your eyes smile when they met his, and he was met with a reassurance that you were indeed happy to see him - something he didn’t know he needed. He approached you and introduced himself to the man sitting next to you. It turned out he was a best friend of yours and was keeping you company to make sure you are safe, and Antoine appreciated it. After a while the guy left and the two of you were once again left to a conversation that soon grew a lot more personal and intimate than when it first started. He confessed that he was not able to get you out of his head and that he needed more of you, to which you responded with the same neediness and desire. You two exchanged numbers, yet you had felt the need to exchange more than just that.

The days spent texting soon turned into a few hours spent together, which turned into days and sometimes even nights. You knew he was married and so did he, but neither of you seemed to care when the two of you were together. Erika, though oblivious to the two of you, knew that Antoine no longer wanted to be in a relationship, which had left her broken. They had set a date of divorce, which she had desperately tried to postpone or even cancel at all, yet Antoine had made his mind. When you asked him as to what made him make this decision and why with her, he only responded with:

“I have never felt anything like this with anyone else than you, (Y/N). I need you, and if I won’t have you, I will go insane."

Also i just had this imagine in mind like I read somewhere that one player finally said in the interview that he had try so hard to get this girl she really like to go ona a date with him for like 40 times before she actually said yes and I was wondering if u could do it with anto like u know he's a footballer and all but he have to impress you first because you're not that easy and he's trying so hard because you're like a challenge different from his other girls and he likes you so much 😘

Just posted, love. Sorry for changing it up a bit, I hope you won't mind. Thank you for requesting!