THE BALLAD OF NEVER AFTER

Me trying to write this sentence:

"Seeing the soldier’s clumsy sword work, Crowley realized that the Hibernian could have simply moved in and driven his saxe into the man’s body as he deflected the blade."

Google: no, not saxe, it has to be a saxophone

"𝐽𝑒 𝑡’𝑎𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝐴𝑢𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑑’ℎ𝑢𝑖. 𝐶𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑖𝑟. 𝐷𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝑃𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠".

—Michelle Hodkin,The Retribution of Mara Dyer (the third book).

See I have the opposite problem 😭 I’m lukewarm on Will/Alyss but I desperately want to love them together. At this point I need someone to make me a PowerPoint on why they’re such a good pairing because I am very willing to be persuaded

thinking about Will/Alyss rn. someone should invent a surgery that removes a fictional ship from someone’s brain this is out of hand

how embarrassing skdjdn. so confident too. really hoping this is a case of Flanagan changing physical attributes on the daily

reading The Hibernian:

surely no one will be able to tell who my favourite character is…

bless this man 😭

just the absolute worst luck (mostly due to Morgarath’s blazing target on his back, but I digress)

could’ve sworn his eyes were green?? *scuttles off to edit fanfic*

it also just hit me that it’s never mentioned in the first 10 books that Halt and Crowley trained under the same man. could’ve used more of Crowley in the original books in general, imo (definitely no personal bias here)

ah… so we meet at last

Having just finished KoC, I didn’t expect Halt to take the throne, and I would’ve disliked the outcome had he. But. I absolutely need fanfic of King Halt, had things had gone differently. Call it morbid curiosity.

— Jonathan Safran Foer

Lonely ranger this, orphan ranger that. What about rangers with kids? Give me a ranger dad™ showing up at the gathering with two little kids and "sorry, guys, my wife really needs a break" and everyone is so delighted because "look at those cuties, you need to bring them next year". What about two best friends assigned to neighbouring fiefs? Really, they work more in tandem than alone - "You want to talk to the ranger of this fief? Sorry sir, which one do you mean, the short one or the shorter one?" Give me the biggest extrovert who hates being alone in his cabin, so he does all of his paperwork alongside scribes at the castle, and thanks to that, is literally the only one who is up-to-date with his paperwork - "What's your secret with the paperwork?" "You need to find someone to suffer with you." Give me a ranger with a partner and kids and apprentice, and a cabin by the woods that is never empty.

crowley: i'm fine, halt, it's just a scratch.

halt, dragging him with one arm over his shoulder: yeah? you've got a concussion and three broken ribs.

crowley: really? i don't seem to remember hitting my head.

halt: that would be the concussion.

"I want to be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren."

would I run off the world someday, nobody knows