When The Subsystems Are Sub System-ing

when the subsystems are sub system-ing

My DID has DID.

More Posts from Nuclear-graveyard and Others

nuclear-graveyard

1 year ago

Working on a New Introduction Post, old one was too long !!

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nuclear-graveyard

1 year ago

me walking without a mobility aid: this is fine i literally don’t even need a mobility aid

me within a minute of this: unrelatedly why do my legs hurt so much and why am i so exhausted

wonderful

The comic consists of 18 images. Each image is drawn with a light, yellowish-gray background, and is accompanied by a small, faintly colored doodle and a line or few of text. The text in the first image reads, "An old cat's words to systems who feel isolated from the others, unseen, or otherwise invalid: My name is Yellowfang. It is a pleasure to share my thoughts with you." (End text.) The drawing shows a cat sitting amongst a small patch of flowers reminiscent of daisies. The cat is, as described, named Yellowfang. She is an introject of the character of the same name, from the series, "Warriors". She has dark-grey, nearly black, fur, with a flattened face or muzzle. Around her muzzle is lighter grey fur. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "(Underlined.) A disclaimer: (End underline.) This post is not meant to be diagnostic. You should still meet diagnostic criterias for DID or OSDD in order to have it. This is only meant to refer to the different ways that DID or OSDD can present itself in those with it." (End text.) The drawing in this image is the same as the previous. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "I feel comfortable saying that my system is one that is majority made up of (quote.) uncommon (end quote.) functions and qualities. Each one has made us feel a little more insecure and troubled, wondering, (quote.) Does this invalidate the rest of our experiences? (end quote.) (quote.) Are we truly a system if we do not experience things exactly as everyone else appears to? (end quote.)" (End text.) The drawing shows a feminine-presenting person, the original poster's system's body, standing, and facing, off to the right side. They are wearing a black hoodie, and their arms are crossed underneath their chest and most of their face is obscured by their mid-length, reddish-orange hair. However, what can be seen of their face shows discontent eyes. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Some of these differences... such as not having a headspace, memory blackouts, or even a host... prevented us from knowing we were a system for many years. We disregarded the possibility time and time again due to the lack of these seemingly (begin italics.) essential (end italics.) experiences." (End text.) The drawing is of three people. On the right is the system's body from the previous images. The other two are undefined humans with no distinguishing traits or features, other than a general form and mouth expression. The two unspecified humans are smiling and engaging in conversation with one another. Meanwhile, the system body from before is not engaging with them, and is instead appearing depressed or left-out. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "But even after we acknowledged we likely have OSDD-1b, these differences weighed us down, making us feel as though we were faking what was happening to us." (End text.) The drawing shows the back of the system's body and the faint silhouettes of, presumably, the two unspecified humans from the previous image. The system body is reaching out to them with one hand, but the other arm is chained to something out of frame. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "However... we came to peace with them in time. In long time, perhaps, but in time. With great time and exploration were we able to speculate and make sense of why we function in some of the ways that we do." (End text.) The drawing shows part of the chain from before, however there is a break in the middle of it, separating it into two. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "In honesty, our differences brought us to respect and care for ourselves much more. It allowed us to acknowledge how even the smallest of struggles throughout our life, and the tiniest of details about ourselves can web together to create such intricately and frighteningly effective ways to help us survive." (End text.) The drawing shows the back of Yellowfang's head off to the left, with the main focus being on another figure. This figure is a feminine humanoid-owl, an introject of Octavia from "Helluva Boss". She is wearing a black jacket and a beanie with a crown over the front of it. She is holding her hands together out of view and smiling off to the side. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "After all, being a system is for survival, not for convenience. It is convoluted, frustrating, with seemingly endless questions and concerns! And it may not always be so clear and straight-forward. Is this something you see yourselves in?" (End text.) The drawing now shows the front of Yellowfang's face. She has a slight smile, but is otherwise just looking forward fondly. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe... you have never seen your personal experiences discussed amongst other systems. Perhaps it hasn't bothered you, if so, or maybe it has?" (End text.) The drawing shows an unspecified human standing off to the right, shrugging nonchalantly. To the left are several empty text boxes with a few exclamation marks. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Perhaps you are a very large system. Perhaps you are a small one." (End text.) There is two drawings to correlate to each sentence. The first one shows a large number of small doodles of humanoid figures. The second shows only three. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe not much about your system makes sense to you. Or maybe most things do?" (End text.) There are two drawings, similar to the previous image. They are set next to each other. They are both two unspecified humans. The one on the left is shrugging with a frown and confused expression on their eyebrows. The human on the right is holding two items in both hands; one is a unlabelled notebook, and the other is a notepad with one page flipped over the top. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe you have introjects, or are one, who is nothing like your source. Or, perhaps you are near-identical to it, like looking into a reflection." (End text.) Like previously, there are two drawing to represent each scenario. Each drawing shows a view of the back of two figures, presumed introjects. The first one is a girl with a black high-ponytail. The sides of her head are shaved and are white. She has dark skin with lighter patches across some areas, though most is out of view. She is wearing a headpiece and armored shoulders, with one black sleeve down one arm. There is a red diamond on the shoulder of the sleeve. The second introject is a grey animatronic wolf with thick, fluffy white hair with green dyed in the front. She is wearing a red top and has piercings in one of her ears. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Perhaps you have a very complex, intricate inner world. Or maybe your inner world is compact and simple. Maybe you have no inner world at all." (End text.) There is two drawings to correlate with the first two scenarios. There is space left for a third drawing, for the final scenario, but it is left empty with no drawing. The first drawing shows a large landscape, focusing on a lake with a few small houses. It is surrounded by a forest, with mountain peaks and city buildings in the background. The second drawing simply shows a couch beside a door. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Maybe your system splits very easily and often. Maybe it takes a great lot for you to. You may function one way, or another, or a mix of both, or something that is entirely different." (End text.) There is two drawings to represent the first two sentences and scenarios. Each is a drawing of two small doodles of humanoids. The first shows five, with one slightly leaned forward as if in distress. The second drawing has only two humanoids, with one also leaned in distress. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "You are doing wonderfully, whichever you see yourself in, or any other that I could not include. That is what is so important to me... my inability to include. I could sit here for hours, detailing all the different possibilities for how systems may function, and I will still never be able to capture it all. It seems no two systems are exactly the same, even when they may appear to have overlapping experiences on the surface." (End text.) The drawing is of four flowers, each in different colors. One is not yet bloomed. Two of the flowers have four petals, and one only has three. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "It is not pleasant or fair what led us to be the ways we are now. Being a system... It can be so dreadful and miserable, yet sometimes wonderful and comforting, and other times absolutely terrifying. But the fact that you are here now, despite everything, surely must show something. These little differences you may have-- you may not see it, but I believe that they contribute to what strengthens you. You are strong because you are here." (End text.) The drawing is the same as before, but the image has become slightly more transparent and less visible. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "Treat yourself with the love and respect that you deserve. Do not insult yourself and your strength by negatively comparing your individual experience to another's. You are no less, and no greater, than any other system." (End text.) The drawing is of Yellowfang, slightly bent forward with her eyes closed and a stem of flowers in her mouth. The flowers are various shades of pink with wavy-shaped petals. (End ID.)

The text in the next image reads, "You are wonderful, and I am very proud that you are here to read this. I want you to be proud of this, too. You are here. You exist. Just know that out there is a mere old cat rooting for you." (End text.) The drawing is now the stem of flowers on its own. (End ID.) The comic ends.

i don't know if we will leave this up, because we aren't sure if it comes across how we would like. but the alter who wrote this, yellowfang, has wanted to create it for some time, so we opted to try.

we, once again, apologize for any art style inconsistencies. the comic artwork itself was worked on by several of us.

Dangerous Persecutors

The thing about persecutors is that there is a high level of nuance that systems as a community (especially the cesspool of syscord) don't talk about in a way that can help recently discovered systems navigate a healthy relationship with these alters.

In case you need to hear this; yes, some alters and persecutors are not safe for the system or responsibilities outside the system. No, some alters are not ready to work on themselves through the power of 'magic and friendship'. Some are violent towards the body or other things like animals/pets, wanting to destroy precious items or spend the system's money maliciously, or intentionally wanting to hurt people close to the system. THIS IS NOT THE SYSTEM'S FAULT OR THE COLLECTIVE ACTIONS OF THE ENTIRE SYSTEM WHEN AN ALTER DOES ACT THIS WAY. However: It is the system's responsibility in this situation is to do everything it can to control said alter's fronting or take appropriate actions to minimize this behavior/damage.

"That's not nice :(((" is going to mean nothing to them. Some will take years of help and patience to become a team member in the system, and safe to front alone.

One of our oldest members was a persecutor who did not begin his healing until almost 8 years later. It was not until his actions led to him losing the most important person and the only thing he cared about for him to finally be ready to listen and see his faults. And for some alters it will unfortunately be the only way to get off that path and listen.

This alter is not a bad person for how they formed; it is so important to remember that alters form as they are for a reason, and persecutors are most often doing things or believing fully their actions are the right ones, for the system's well-being or their own. And while you need to keep your system safe, you also have to have that patience and system teamwork extended to the struggling alter. In extreme cases, professional help is most often what is needed, especially when they pose a physical threat to others or the body.

They may spit in your face, and threaten that the second they are free they will do horrible things. But It is going to take a combination of both listening to this alter and granting them humanity, while also protecting yourself and people who are at risk of these alter's actions.