- Out Of My Notebook

like 98% of my problems would be solved if I stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down

gentle reminder

your feelings are valid, please don’t let anyone convince you otherwise

post secret 08.04.18

Sometimes, Intruders seem to talk.

“I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.”

—

You’re gonna meet one great girl in this life. And from the moment you meet her, you’ll know she’s trouble. She’s gonna be weird, she’s gonna have attitude. She’s gonna make you do things you haven’t done. She’ll make you see things, she’ll make you feel. You’re gonna love her against reason. But somewhere in the middle, she’s gonna get tired of everything. Don’t leave. Because if you do, I promise you, you’re gonna live every day of your life looking back and regretting why you never took the chance. Just stand by her, do not give up. Because you know.. You knew from the moment you met her…she’s worth it.

LA // excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via thoughtsofla)

Thomas Doherty’s Scottish Slang School is Now in Session - RAW

“When we first met, you and I, you asked me a question,” he said. “Yes, I did,” she replied with a slight smirk appearing on her face. “We were at a party. I was throwing up in the bathroom and you stumbled in, drunk and quite crazy looking. You asked me what the point of it all was. You said everything hurt. That everything always got messed up, and it was usually your fault. You were crying, hard, and you looked at me and asked me what the point was. And I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know. I still don’t know.” She let out a small laugh and bumped his leg with her knee. She took a deep breath and spoke. “You see, when we first met, I was heartbroken. I just got dumped, my mom hated me, I thought I had no one. I didn’t see the point of living, of doing anything anymore,” she told him quietly. “Well what about now?” he questioned. “Well now,” she spoke again, louder this time, “now I’m happy. I have you, my best friend. My mom doesn’t hate me. I haven’t fucked anything up in a while. But it won’t stay like this forever. Because I’m going to mess up again and you’ll hate me and I’ll hate you and then we’ll love each other. Maybe we’ll end up together in the long run or maybe I’ll end up wishing you would drop off of the planet. What I’m trying to say is, nothing is permanent. You won’t be happy forever but you also won’t be sad forever. Things are always changing, and you can’t stop them from doing so. The point is, that there is no point. So live however the hell you want to. We’re all destined to the same inevitable ending.”

- An excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8 (via thisvastlove)

“When we first met, you and I, you asked me a question,” he said. “Yes, I did,” she replied with a slight smirk appearing on her face. “We were at a party. I was throwing up in the bathroom and you stumbled in, drunk and quite crazy looking. You asked me what the point of it all was. You said everything hurt. That everything always got messed up, and it was usually your fault. You were crying, hard, and you looked at me and asked me what the point was. And I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know. I still don’t know.” She let out a small laugh and bumped his leg with her knee. She took a deep breath and spoke. “You see, when we first met, I was heartbroken. I just got dumped, my mom hated me, I thought I had no one. I didn’t see the point of living, of doing anything anymore,” she told him quietly. “Well what about now?” he questioned. “Well now,” she spoke again, louder this time, “now I’m happy. I have you, my best friend. My mom doesn’t hate me. I haven’t fucked anything up in a while. But it won’t stay like this forever. Because I’m going to mess up again and you’ll hate me and I’ll hate you and then we’ll love each other. Maybe we’ll end up together in the long run or maybe I’ll end up wishing you would drop off of the planet. What I’m trying to say is, nothing is permanent. You won’t be happy forever but you also won’t be sad forever. Things are always changing, and you can’t stop them from doing so. The point is, that there is no point. So live however the hell you want to. We’re all destined to the same inevitable ending.”

- An excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8 (via thisvastlove)

I was thinking about how you’re always the first to say I love you; We were laying there on the couch, in a dark room illuminated by the light of the movie screen. I looked up at you. I could see the reflection of the movie in your eyes, the tension in your square jaw, and all the little creases in your curled up, crooked smile. You didn’t notice that I was watching you, but that’s okay. You didn’t have to. Every little thing that you did so effortlessly, I fell in love with over and over again. You turned to me and I hugged you closer, tugging on your shirt as I allowed your arm to rest around me. Before you could say anything, I leaned in to kiss you, but stopped myself just an inch before your face. You flash me that smile, oh so innocent, so sincere. I whisper your name, and find that those are the only words I know how to form. The following silence whispers the words I’ve been trying to say. You reply softly, “I love you too”, and I’ve never kissed someone so passionately as I had in that exact moment.

“i love you” pt.2 // 3.22.17 (via overdosedemotions)