Pre-Exposed

Pre-Exposed

This is a new, angsty Evan Buckley imagine requested by anon. I'm sorry it took me so long to write this for you.

I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

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Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Evan have a son together, and when he becomes unwell, hidden family secrets begin to surface. And Evan isn't sure he can forgive his family for the secrets they have kept from him.

Enjoy.

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Pre-Exposed

Hooking her bag onto her shoulder, (Y/n) took a deep breath and walked away from the car. Her tongue darted out to run across her dry lips as she made a brisk walk through the school gates and followed the winding path towards the reception doors.

It wasn't often that (Y/n) got a phone call from the school. Jack wasn't like other boys. He wasn't one for getting into fights or playing up, that wasn't him and he loved his school work. He was involved in lessons and had a passion for learning.

The only times (Y/n) ever got a call from the school was regarding school trips or to be made aware of something that was happening. And those calls were rare and few.

When she left work just after lunchtime, (Y/n) hadn't been expecting to get a phone call from the school telling her that Jack had fainted. Sometimes he tripped or got a graze when he hurt himself playing games during break and sometimes he was sick, but it rarely happened.

(Y/n) could count the times on one hand when she had needed to come and pick Jack up from school. That told her that this had to be worrisome.

Her hands started to clench and curl into fists as she headed through the double doors and turned towards the reception desk.

"Hi, I got a call to come down for Jack Buckley?" (Y/n) couldn't stop herself from tapping her fingers against the reception desk as she waited for the woman to look at her notes to know where Jack was.

Things like this always made (Y/n) nervous. Whenever she had to take Jack to the doctors or to any appointments, Evan was always there with her. She didn't know what to do with herself or how to stop the tension and stop from feeling so uneasy.

"He's just through here."

Rolling her lips together into a thin line, (Y/n) nodded and followed the receptionist down a short hall towards a row of rooms. (Y/n) recognised a few of them to be the teacher's offices, a supply cupboard and finally a small nurse's office.

The room wasn't very big, it was about the same size as a walk in wardrobe with two chairs in front of a computer desk and a small bed in the corner for examinations. It much resembled a compact GP room at the doctors. And there, perched on one of the chairs to the left, was Jack.

The ten year old looked worn out. He was slumped forward with his arms resting on his knees and his head bowed down. His body was jittering and lightly trembling and he looked pasty like all the colour had been drained from his body. When he tilted his head up to see who had walked into the room, a small smile pulled at his lips but it didn't make him look much better.

There was a drowsy look in his eyes that made (Y/n) fear he might be on the verge of collapsing again. He looked like he wanted to go to bed.

She hurried into the room and set her bag down on the chair next to him while she crouched down so she was in front of him. Her hands rested on his knees and she tried to smile as she looked him up and down, checking for any injuries or anything that didn't seem normal.

"What happened?" (Y/n) glanced back over her shoulder to look at the receptionist but she was surprised when Jack slumped forward until his head was resting on her shoulder. And he shakily looped his arms around her neck and leaned against her chest like he was a toddler again who wanted to be carried around.

"We're not quite sure if he fainted or fell asleep at his desk, he dropped and hit his head on the desk. And he's very lethargic."

That didn't sound good.

(Y/n) knew instinctively that Jack must have fainted. He wasn't the kind of child who would fall asleep just anywhere and not once had he ever fallen asleep in school. He didn't take naps when he was at home, Jack was such a hyper, wired boy that naps weren't something he seemed to be able to do.

And if he had slumped down and hit his head on the desk then it made sense that he would have fainted. By the looks of him he seemed like he might be within range of fainting again.

(Y/n) kissed the top of his head before she moved her hands to his shoulders and gently tried to reel him up so he was sitting straight again. But her head tilted to one side and she frowned when she watched him grimace.

"My back hurts." He muttered quietly while he kept one arm around (Y/n)'s neck and moved his other hand to point round to his back.

When (Y/n) glanced back at the receptionist, she shook her head with a blank expression and her hands tightly knitted together in front of her. He hadn't mentioned that to her or said anything about falling and hitting his back or having anything happen to his back.

(Y/n) pushed up on her knees so she could lean over and carefully roll Jacks shirt up towards his shoulders so she could check what he was talking about. Her breath caught in her lungs and her chest seemed to seize up when she looked at his back. There were bruises scattered around his lower back like splatters of paint. Some were fading from purple to pasty blue and others were a dark yellow with a green tinge, suggesting they had been there a while.

"Jack, baby, what have you been doing? Did you play-fight with someone?" Some of the bruises looked old, but others looked new.

What had he done? Had some of the other kids been picking on him? (Y/n) dreaded that thought. She didn't want to learn that other kids had been bullying Jack or else she would have to tell Evan and get him to come down to the school and have a stern word with them.

"I fell playing football with Chris." He winced as he spoke and clicked his spine into place whenhe straightened up and (Y/n) pulled his shirt back down.

He didn't see how his words caused his mum to frown in confusion. He had played football with Chris last week when they all went to the park together with Chris and Eddie. His back shouldn't be bruised this badly and the bruises should have all started to fade out by now.

Was he trying not to tell her that something else had happened? Had he forgotten that he might have bumped into something or fallen at some other point during the week?

"Okay baby, let's go home."

(Y/n) slung her bag back on her shoulder, muttering a soft 'thank you' to the receptionist while she curled her arm around Jack's shoulders and tucked him into her side. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head, observing him as they headed out to the car.

He was walking like he was sluggish. If (Y/n) didn't know any better she would have thought he hadn't had any sleep last night and was running on last reserves. But she knew he had slept well, he barely managed to get out of bed this morning he had been in such a deep sleep.

The nerves building up inside (Y/n) only got worse on the drive home. Jack didn't sing along to the radio like he usually did. He wasn't nodding his head to the music or tapping his feet. He didn't try and make any conversation with her at all. He slumped down in his seat and blearily looked out the window like he had been stuck in a trance.

Once they got home, Jack turned to look up at (Y/n) with those tired blue eyes that made her want to cry. "Can I watch a movie?"

"Sure baby." She kissed his temple again, noting that he wasn't running a temperature which was one good thing at least.

She followed him inside and watched him from the living room doorway for a few moments. Jack slumped down onto the sofa with a thump and set about finding a movie on the kids channel, but he didn't look fussed. (Y/n) knew he had to be feeling unwell because he wasn't watching a new movie, he put an old one on that he had seen many times before with Evan. Clearly he wasn't interested in watching a movie, he just wanted the comfort of having something on in the background.

Her heart shuddered and squeezed tightly when she watched Jack flop onto his side a few moments later. He stretched out on the sofa with his face burrowed down into the pillow and when (Y/n) leaned over to look at him, she noticed he had his eyes closed.

He was going to sleep. He really wasn't well.

"Hey babe- buddy?" A frown pulled on Evan's features when he jogged down the stairs and caught sight of (Y/n) heading into the kitchen. But when he noticed what movie was playing on the tv and the shoes that had been kicked off near the sofa, his face morphed into confusion.

He leaned over the back of the sofa and rested his hand on Jack's arm, watching as his boy mumbled his name but didn't bother to open his eyes or look up at him.

Evan trailed his fingers along Jack's cheek and ruffled his hair before he headed into the kitchen to find (Y/n). He had expected her to be home around now, but he hadn't expected to see Jack with her. Evan was supposed to be picking him up from school in two and a half hours.

"What's he doing home, did something happen at school?"

(Y/n) felt a small swell of relief when Evan's arms encased around her middle and he pressed his lips to the back of her head, giving her a tight hug as his chest merged down against her back.

"He fainted in class this afternoon, and he's so tired." The worry was clear in her voice and by the expression on her face when she looked up over her shoulder to glance at Evan.

"Is he sick?" It wasn't like Jack to be ill at school, and Evan couldn't remember the last time he had known their son to faint for any reason.

"I don't know… can you go look at his back for me, see what you think?"

A quiet "His back?" whispered into her hair as Evan made sure he heard her right before he untangled his arms from her and trudged back into the living room. He could feel (Y/n) hovering close behind him and his brows furrowed in confusion when he noticed Jack was already fast asleep, breathing softly into the cushion his face was squished into.

Crouching down beside the sofa, Evan took care to be gentle and slow as he lifted up Jack's shirt. Thankful his boy was laid on his stomach so he didn't have to turn him over and disturb him.

"Jesus, what'd he do? Has someone hit him?" The anger was present and bubbling up inside Evan's voice even as he whispered towards (Y/n) who was stood in the doorway, biting her nail out of anxious habit.

If anyone had hurt Jack or done this on purpose, there would be Hell to pay. Evan would march down to the school right now and demand to see the child and their parents if someone had done this to Jack. They had never had to worry about him being bullied before, he wasn't exactly one of the popular kids but he was gentle and kind and funny and he had his own small group of friends who he got along with.

With a deep breath, he pulled Jack's shirt back down and grabbed the cover to drape it over him if he was having a nap. He was clearly feeling sick if he was going to sleep at one in the afternoon.

When he walked back over towards (Y/n), Evan reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, anchoring her into his chest with his lips meshed up against her temple. He could feel (Y/n)'s hands gripping his biceps and her head tilted down until her lips were pressing against his throat, causing his Adam's apple to bob up and down.

"He said it's from football, when he was playing with Chris last week, but he fell on the grass. Babe I don't think he's well, all he wants to do is sleep and he's forever got that cold."

It wasn't just today, (Y/n) had noticed Jack being sluggish and without his usual burst of energy for a while now. And he had been suffering with a cold for more than two weeks, which also wasn't like him. He seemed to be under the weather a lot just lately and (Y/n) didn't like it.

She could feel Evan's arms tightening around her as he sighed against her temple. Neither of them wanted to brush this off when something clearly wasn't right with their boy. He could just be suffering from a bad cold or the flu, but it could be an infection or a virus or an underlying cause like anaemia. They had to get him looked at.

"I'll book him in at the doctors in the morning."

***

A cold slither of dread crept down (Y/n)'s spine from the base of her neck right down to her lower back when she and Evan walked into the doctor's office.

She couldn't help but feel like something was wrong, like something was amiss but she couldn't tell what it was.

Her hand tightened around Evan's until she was sure she was about to cut off his circulation and her free hand curled around his bicep, gluing herself up into his side. She tried to smile when the doctor looked up towards them and motioned his hand towards the seats in front of his desk, urging them to sit down.

Once they were sat down, (Y/n) leaned herself to the left, pushing more into Evan's side as she tucked up against him in a vain attempt to stay calm.

"Thank you for coming in so promptly, Mr and Mrs Buckley."

"You said you had some results to talk about?" Evan looked between the doctor and (Y/n), a placid expression on his face.

He and (Y/n) had been worrying all morning about this appointment. They had gotten a phone call two days ago after they had taken Jack to the doctors last week and he had some bloods taken and an examination by the nurse. (Y/n) had been expecting to talk over the phone, she thought they would tell her Jack had a virus or he was anaemic and would need some medication.

When she was told to make an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible and come down for a chat about the results, she knew. She just knew this meant something was serious.

Their only relief was that they didn't need to have Jack here at the appointment, he could go to school none the wiser that his parents would be going to an appointment with the doctor about him. He was only ten, he didn't have to be there for the consultation. But needing a chat with a doctor meant that this was serious.

"Yes, we've had the blood tests back for Jack. We ruled out anaemia and pneumonia, but there were a few anomalies so I sent them across to a colleague at the hospital in oncology for a consult."

"Oncology?"

Evan didn't like the way (Y/n) stiffened beside him and when he looked down at her, he was frightened to see the panic bubbling up in her eyes. He felt her nails scratching into the back of his hand and he leaned in closer to her side as his lips parted and a shudder ran through him.

He found himself muttering "What is that?" towards (Y/n) because clearly she knew what that meant. Evan wasn't a nurse like Maddie or a paramedic like Eddie and Hen. He didn't know all the medical jargon and that word had already gone over his head.

"No, b- but that's for cancer." (Y/n) shook her head as she spoke and she felt Evan bristle in his seat like he was turning to stone.

And when she looked up at her husband, Evan looked like all the colour had been drained from his features. He had gone positively grey as a blank look flooded his face and his baby blue eyes started to deepen as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Yes… I'm sorry, the results have come back positive for acute leukaemia. It's a form of cancer in the blood, I'm afraid it's serious."

"No, oh no."

Bile rose at the back of (Y/n)'s throat and she felt her stomach churning as she turned to the left and pressed her face into Evan's shoulder. Each strangled breath she took fanned against his shoulder and into his cotton shirt. She could feel him leaning into her, his lips merged with the top of her head and his hand curved round to cup the back of her neck like he thought she was about to break into hundreds of little pieces.

She could feel Evan's hand clenching around hers, pressing so tightly he was squeezing her knuckles together and threatening to pop them out of place.

Each breath Evan took mingled in with (Y/n)'s hair and he knew a tear or two had trickled down his face into her hair.

This wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

How could this be happening to their Jack? The results had to be wrong, but deep down, Evan knew they wouldn't be. It was a rarity that the hospital ever got any results wrong or mixed up, contrary to what some people liked to believe.

"This form is usually seen more in children, it's destroying his white blood cells which will weaken his immune system, along with affecting the way his body functions. The tiredness, easy bruising, stiff joints, long sickness, it's all symptoms."

But those were such common symptoms. They could all be accounted for by a common cold or a lack of vitamins or being anaemic. Those symptoms were relative and could be due to a number of simple, little things. Why did Jack have to have something as serious and deadly as cancer? What had he done to deserve this?

"Wh- how do you treat it?" Part of Evan found it strange that this could be considered cancer when it wasn't a lump or a tumor in Jack's blood. It was an inefficiency to produce the right cells and destroying the few good cells he did have.

Did he still need chemo or radiotherapy for something that was happening in his blood?

How were they going to explain this to him? Evan didn't want to tell Jack that he had cancer. That was the last thing any child wanted to hear and it was going to freak him out. But they couldn't exactly keep this a secret from him when they would be bringing him to the hospital for appointments and whatever form of treatment he was going to need.

"Chemotherapy is always the most direct and effective route, getting rid of the affected blood cells so proper ones can form. We'd also like to do a bone marrow transplant after chemo. All the blood is made in the marrow and if he gets healthy marrow, he can make healthy cells much quicker that way and get his body back on track."

A guttural sound emmitted from Evan's lips as he dropped his head forward into his hand. His fingers scratched into his scalp, tugging at his curls and scraping until he was sure he was drawing blood along his hairline. He could barely feel his other hand that was tangled with (Y/n)'s, they were squeezing each other's hand so tightly that there was no blood supply to either of their hands anymore.

Their boy was going to need chemo. Jack would have to come to the hospital, he would have to miss out on school and do his work from home or the hospital. He would become sick- sicker than usual. He would be run down, he wouldn't be himself. He was going to lose his hair, become weak in himself.

And they were going to have to put him through all of that if they wanted to give him a chance at surviving this.

This was going to be agony for Jack. Evan had heard about bone marrow transplants, he knew what that meant. Thick needles right into the centre of the bone to inject marrow and hope that the body would take to it and start using that marrow to produce proper cells.

That was going to be a big procedure for a ten year old. How were they going to explain any of this to him? How were they going to get Jack through this?

"So, so what, he goes on the list, for that transplant while he's in chemo? When does that have to start?"

(Y/n) kept her right hand curled around Evan's bicep and she leaned her cheek onto his shoulder, letting him do the talking as she felt like she was in some kind of bubble or trance.

Tears were silently pouring down her face and soaking into Evan's shoulder while he sat hunched forward with his left hand cradling his chin and jaw. His mind was starting to go on overdrive, something that always happened when he was nervous or panicked like this.

"We need to start chemo as early as next week, but the good news is we don't need to put him on the list." The doctor could see that this was a lot to take in, but he seemed somewhat glad that both parents were up to talking it through here and now.

It was better to talk through everything now and try to get some consultations and dates booked in as soon as possible for Jack's health. They couldn't wait and let him deteriorate, they had to get him into treatment now to give him the best chance at recovery and pushing through this.

"Why?" (Y/n) sniffed and brushed her sleeve beneath her swollen eyes while she stayed leaning into Evan's shoulder.

Was there a donor at the hospital who happened to be a match for Jack? Not needing to wait was a good thing, it meant Jack could be helped sooner rather than later and doing all the treatment now would be the most effective method for his treatment and recovery.

"Mr Buckley, your records show you are a complete match. If you'd be willing, we could use your marrow when we're ready to do the transplant."

(Y/n) swallowed deeply as she watched Evan sit up straight rather than being hunched over his knees. There was a solemn expression on his face but a faraway look in his eyes, like his body was sitting here with her but his mind was wandering somewhere else completely.

It was as if a wave of calm had washed over him and he nodded his head. If Evan was a match, then that's what they would do. It was much better having a relative donate, especially Jack's dad because that meant there was a bigger chance of his body accepting the marrow and taking it.

Evan would do anything for his boy. He would give him blood transfusions, bone marrow, he would give him a kidney if he needed it. Evan would die for him. He would do absolutely anything for his son and making Evan a full match was like fate was trying to make up for what the wrongs that they were now imposing on Jack.

"Do it."

***

(Y/n) felt like she was walking in a trance. It was how she had felt for the last few days, really. Everything she did made her feel like she was on autopilot. She cooked without really noticing what she was doing- and it was a miracle she didn't burn or cut herself with her mind being so distracted.

She tried to watch tv with Jack but the voices just turned into static in her ears and her mind started to drift off without really looking at the tv. And she could see that Evan was doing the same when he was home, it made her wonder what he was like when he was on the job.

Her hand tightened around Evan's as they stood on the doorstep and waited tiredly for Maddie to open the door.

She had been the first person they spoke to after they got the news from the doctor. They didn't know who else to call or what to do. After a lengthy chat, they had agreed to come round to see Maddie today while Jack was at school. As of next week he wouldn't be back at school, he would be spending his days at the hospital getting his first round of chemotherapy. Just the thought made (Y/n) cringe and cower down into Evan's side.

They both knew they must have looked a state when Maddie opened the door to greet them. Her eyes were glistening with tears when she looked up at her little brother and sister in law.

Maddie cocooned an arm around each of them and brought them into her chest for a hug that instantly made Evan feel a tiny bit better. Maddie always had that effect on him, she had always been that comforting, parental figure he went to whenever anything was wrong.

"Come in." She pressed a kiss to Evan's cheek before she pulled back and guided them both inside.

They were expecting to be led into the kitchen, that was always the first place Maddie went when they came over. She would either put the kettle on or source out a bottle of wine, but today she turned left and headed for the living room instead.

A cold shiver ran down Evan's spine when he walked into the living room and noticed two people sitting on the sofa. His feet became rooted to the spot and his skin started to bristle and the hairs on the back of his neck stuck up like needles. He found his fingers tightening around (Y/n)'s hand and he leaned into her side as his chest tingled and started to tighten.

"Mum? Why're you here?" Surprise flooded Evan's voice and managed to mask the uneasy discomfort that he felt at their presence.

He hadn't expected to find his parents here.

He could feel (Y/n)'s shoulders slumping down and her cheek pressed into his arm as she leaned into him a little more like her energy had suddenly been drained to nothing.

"You told them, about Jack?" There was no anger or betrayal in (Y/n)'s voice, there was hardly any emotion at all. She nodded when Maddie gave her a timid look, clearly thinking she might have overstepped a mark but if anything, (Y/n) was relieved. She wouldn't want to be the one to break this news to anyone in their family and she knew Evan would of had a hard time trying to explain this to his parents.

It had been bad enough when Evan had to tell his parents that he'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant when he was seventeen. His parents hadn't been best pleased that Evan was going to be a teenage parent, it wasn't something they had in mind for him and it didn't go with the modern family image they tried to pass off to friends and neighbours.

That was why Maddie had been more involved in Jack's life and why Evan's parents only started to get involved with him over the last few years.

Telling their parents only made this more real. (Y/n) hadn't told her own parents yet, she was waiting until next week when they were going to be coming over for a visit. This wasn't something she could tell them over the phone.

With a sigh, Evan trudged into the room and moved towards the armchair while Maddie squashed herself down next to their mum on the end of the sofa. Evan heaved himself into the chair, trying to sit up straight but all he wanted to do was melt down into a puddle and disappear. He spread his thighs and moved his hands, silently indicating for (Y/n) to sit with him rather than sitting across from him on the other armchair. He didn't want her sitting alone.

She obliged, relieved at the invitation and sank down on the end of the chair between Evan's thighs. Her back moulded up against his chest and she felt his arms curve around her waist and lock together in front of her abdomen like he was caging her in and refusing to let her go again.

"Maddie rang us, and we came straight down, oh Evan… how is he?" Margaret leaned forward and set her cup down on the coffee table before she tried to pat Evan's knee, but she could tell that the comfort wasn't welcomed.

He stiffened in his seat and shifted his leg until his mum retracted her touch. She had never been very good at comforting Evan or truly caring when he was upset and starting now simply made him feel unsettled.

He thought it was good of them to show some sort of support now though. It hadn't taken much for them to come down and see if they could help. That was more than two years ago when Evan had been in an accident and got his leg crushed by the fire truck. His parents had come down after Evan's third surgery when he was practically at the end of his recovery.

Evan wasn't sure if he was happy or enraged that they were caring about Jack more than they ever did for him. It meant they were trying with Jack, trying to get that connection and be in his life and that was good, but it reopened the wounds Evan had tried so hard to heal. The wounds they inflicted when they constantly pushed him aside and showed him how he would always be second best to them.

"Petrified." Evan nudged his nose against (Y/n)'s hair and closed his eyes, breathing in her scent to try and calm himself down a bit more.

"We've told him it's a blood disorder, we don't- we don't want anyone telling him what it is." (Y/n) tried her best not to burst into another fit of tears and she steeled her expression to try and remain calm.

They didn't want anyone telling Jack that he had cancer, not right now anyway. That would overwhelm him and scare him and they didn't want that. They wanted this treatment and recovery to be as easy as possible for Jack so they had sat him down and tried to explain that he had a blood disorder where his blood wasn't producing the right cells.

He knew he was going to the hospital from next week and he would be having medicine to try and sort it out. And when they had explained that he would have a bone marrow transplant- which they tried to explain as a blood donation to make it easier- Jack had been relieved to know Evan would be the one giving him the blood and he would be with him through the procedure.

It made Jack feel comforted to know that his dad would be experiencing something similar in the way of a donation and that his dad was helping him.

"Evan… we have to tell you something."

He didn't like the sound of that. His arms tightened around (Y/n)'s waist and his cheek pressed up against the side of her temple as he narrowed his eyes at his parents.

It wasn't often that Evan saw his mum look anxious like this. She was always uneasy, stern, usually unhappy and prickly, but she never looked worried about anything, at least not when it was concerning him. But even his dad looked uneasy right now, with one hand drumming along his thigh and the other hand entwined with Margaret's to comfort them both.

But when Evan glanced over to Maddie, his brows furrowed and he noticed his sister looked unsettled too. She was trying her best to sit still but she was starting to fidget. Maddie only fidgeted when she was hiding something, Evan knew the signs and he could see the way she had both hands tightly clasped on her lap and she was spinning the ring around her index finger. A nervous habit she had never gotten out of.

Suddenly, Evan wasn't so sure that he wanted to hear whatever they had to tell them.

"This leukaemia, it- it… little Jack might have it because it runs in the family." Margaret couldn't find it in herself to look at Evan, the guilt was evident in her eyes and so she looked down at her hands instead. Noticing how much she seemed to have aged in the last few years.

Had this moment come round already? Since the moment Evan had been born, Margaret had been dreading the time when they would have to tell him the truth about his birth and his life. She always thought that this moment was so far away, but it had finally caught up to them.

"What? Who else had it?" Confusion plastered across Evan's face as he tried to wrack his brain to work out who in the family had ever had leukemia.

Aunt Lisa had breast cancer, Evan remembered that vividly from childhood because his mum had spent two weeks out of town to look after her sister. And he was sure Phillip's dad had suffered with some ailment before he died, but Evan couldn't think what exactly had been wrong with his grandad.

Evan never saw his grandparents very often, Maddie had always been closer to the rest of the family than Evan was. But he didn't know of anyone close who had this form of cancer, and it had to be someone close in the family for his parents to think that it was why Jack now had this too.

"Your brother."

(Y/n) couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips and she huffed, looking between Maddie and her in-laws with disbelief welling up in her eyes. If this was them trying to make light out the situation then (Y/n) didn't find it helpful nor amusing.

What the Hell were they talking about? (Y/n) had known Evan since he was fifteen and not once had he, his parents or anyone in their family referred to any brother.

"Look, if this is some kind of joke I don't find it very funny."

"No Evan, this isn't a trick. We, we had a boy before you, when Maddie was two. Daniel."

"Maddie please…" The desperation in Evan's tone had tears welling up in Maddie's eyes and she coiled her arms tighter into her waist as she winced.

He was begging for her to tell him that this was some kind of sick joke that clearly wasn't funny. He wanted her to explain, to say that their parents were having some kind of stroke and none of this was real.

How could they have had a son before Evan and not told him? How could they have kept this from Evan his whole life? No pictures around the house of him. No acknowledging his birthday or his memory. No mourning or griving for him over the years. Not even telling Evan one memory about him. That was sick.

If Evan and (Y/n) had more kids but lost Jack, they would never just erase him from their memory and pretend he hadn't existed. He was their son, he was their world and if something happened to him they would want to keep his memory alive, not bury those memories along with him.

It took all of Evan's effort to stay sitting and stop from bolting up from the chair and walking away. He had to tighten his arms around (Y/n)'s waist and pin his chest into her back until he could scarcely breathe in order to remain in control of himself and stop from exploding.

"He got diagnosed when he was seven, we tried chemo, but it was aggressive. He needed marrow, and stem cells, so we, well, it was a hard decision, but we…"

"Evan's a donor baby?" Shudders crept up and down (Y/n)'s spine as she glared at her in-laws who she barely recognised.

"Yes."

How could they do that to him?

(Y/n) had always seen it. From the moment she met Evan's parents, she had seen how they treated him. He wasn't abused, but he wasn't loved or treated with much respect either. (Y/n) saw how Evan hurt himself, he purposely fell from trees, had skateboard accidents and broke his bones in order to get some ounce of love from them.

It was clear to see that they valued Evan as an ornament in their family, but as a son, they couldn't love him like they did with Maddie. When Evan told them (Y/n) was pregnant, they had been less than understanding. Evan was ruining their image and the ideals they had about the life he would lead.

And now it all made sense. Evan hadn't been a child they longed for, he was a tool to protect and save their other son. He had been a remedy that didn't work and they couldn't bring themselves to grow to love him when they never really wanted him in the first place.

"And it didn't work?" Evan unlocked one arm from (Y/n)'s waist so he could run his hand up and down his chin and jaw, tracing the stubble he was beginning to grow.

"We were heartbroken, and we didn't want you knowing the real reason why we- why we had you… so we thought we best not tell you."

"Are you sick?"

The cynical tone to Evan's voice made his mother visibly flinch and caused his father to shake.

What did they think they were doing? Why did they think keeping this from him was the 'normal' thing to do? Surely they would have known that they couldn't hide this from Evan forever, this couldn't have been kept a secret for his whole life.

If Evan had known the truth, he would have understood. He would have realised why his parents couldn't love him like they did Maddie. He would know why looking at him made them flinch or brought an old sense of sorrow to their eyes. He would never have tried to hurt himself to gain their love if he knew the reason why he was alive and the brother he never knew.

Evan would have let them treat him badly, he would have accepted that they couldn't love him and he would of had more respect for himself. He wouldn't have grown up believing something was wrong with him if he knew.

"Buck, he died." Maddie's voice broke as she tried to stay calm and collected. "When you told me the other day about Jack, I had to tell them in case he has it because of Daniel."

"You let me grow up believing I wasn't good enough, and all the time you knew why I was treated like that?" Evan's voice rose with every syllable until he was practically shouting at his sister, the woman who had raised him since he was a toddler whose parents couldn't be bothered with him.

All this time. All his life, Maddie had known. Every time Evan asked what was wrong with him, what he did to upset their parents, why they couldn't love him. And all those times Maddie told him he hadn't done anything, she lied and said they did love him in their own way. She even said she didn't know why they were sometimes cold-hearted towards him.

She had lied to Evan every day of his life.

All this time Evan felt like such a burden on Maddie. He felt like she had been forced to become a teenage parent, that she was forced to love him and bring him up because their parents simply wouldn't do the job themselves. Evan felt so guilty and bad for Maddie. He never needed to feel like that.

If he knew the truth he wouldn't have been craving love and attention so much, he wouldn't have relied on Maddie so much. He wouldn't have felt guilty because Maddie was the one with the guilt. She was the one who felt guilty for lying to him, she chose to care for him, she chose to comfort Evan when he was upset.

"I couldn't tell you-"

"Bullshit Maddie." The snide words snapped at Maddie and caused her to quiver and sink back into the sofa.

Evan felt himself starting to shake when (Y/n) slithered out of his arms and stood beside the chair instead. She had far too much adrenaline rushing through her to sit still and she could feel Evan bubbling up like a volcano that was about to explode.

"Why did you watch?" Evan's words confused Maddie who frowned and shook her head, for she didn't know what that implied. "You watched me hurt myself. You watched me break my ankle, my arm, I cracked my ribs, I got concussed. I nearly got fucking runover and you watched! You watched me do that for their fucking love. You think I would have tried so hard if I knew the truth? I wouldn't have done any of that."

If Evan knew the truth he would never have hurt himself. He would never have played so dangerously as a child. He wouldn't have skated on the roads, he wouldn't have climbed the tallest trees, held his breath and then allowed himself to fall. He wouldn't scrape his knees and break his bones and cry his heart out to get some sort of love from their parents.

If he knew the truth, Evan would have let things be as they were. He would have accepted the fact that their parents couldn't bring themselves to love him. He would have realised that hurting himself would make their parents fret and fear rather than making them care. They were worried they would lose another son, they weren't suddenly loving Evan like he believed.

Maddie should have told him, but instead she watched him. She stood by and allowed Evan to be reckless and hurt himself and scream and beg for their parent's love and attention.

Evan was sure that Maddie tried to whimper "I'm sorry." But it came out as a blundering cry more than a few broken-hearted words.

He pushed up from the armchair, hands balled into fists and his whole body reduced to trembling as he tried to decide whether he wanted to stand here and argue or turn and walk away. Leaving might have been a better option, but there was still so much more that Evan wanted to say, and he might not have these feelings and this courage to speak again.

Nothing passed Evan's lips when he glanced over towards his wife and realised (Y/n) was silently crying. Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were starting to swell as she bound her arms around her waist and looked at his parents with such torment and anger in her eyes that Evan barely recognised her.

His hand reached out for her arm and he was relieved when (Y/n) moved her hands and clung to his arm rather than pulling away from him. But she wouldn't look at him. Her eyes were solely focused on his parents who were turning redder by the second and who were starting to cry too.

"You… don't- don't you see what you've done?" She did her best to steel her voice but it didn't work very well. "We didn't know t- the symptoms. If you told us we might have been more aware, more cautious… Evan, he… he's been so sick, and we…"

She couldn't finish her sentence.

They hadn't known.

Jack's symptoms were so generic and easily misconstrued as a simple cold or illness. But if they had known that leukaemia ran in the family, that Evan's own brother had died from it, then they would have been more aware. They would have known what symptoms to look out for.

They could have told their doctor when Jack was born and at his check ups, it could have been on his file as something to be aware of and look out for. He could have gotten help before now if they had known they were pre-exposing him to this form of cancer.

Guilt dwelled in Evan's stomach like hundreds of stones settling in his abdomen and crushing everything inside of him.

He turned to the right, cupping the back of (Y/n)'s neck as he pressed a wet, shaking kiss to her temple. He had pre-exposed Jack to this and he had no idea. Jack had gotten this from Evan, from his side of the family. Evan should have known, he should have been more aware.

"It's not your fault-"

"No. It's yours."

Tears continued to fall down Maddie's face as she gasped and pressed one hand to her chest where it felt like her heart was physically breaking into thousands of little pieces. It felt like a glass heart had shattered and each fragment was now coursing through her blood, splitting her apart from the inside out.

She hadn't meant any harm. She had been told not to tell Evan and how could she go against their parent's wishes?

"Someone should have told me."

This wasn't about Evan anymore, this was about Jack. Evan could just about grasp the fact that they had lied to him all his life, but when they knew that Evan could potentially expose Jack to this illness they should have spoken to him. He was seventeen when they had Jack, he was more than old enough to understand and to take in all that information.

He should have been told so he knew how to protect his son and what signs to look out for so Jack could be kept safe. Chances were that Jack did have this because it ran in the family and had been passed down.

"We kept this secret for so long-"

"When we had Jack one of you should have explained this to me! You all watched him grow up, you knew I was pre-exposing him to this and you didn't tell me. We could of had him tested! We could of monitored him a-and had some kind of awareness. But you just stayed silent and watched from the moment he was born."

Evan's right arm was encased against (Y/n)'s chest, but he moved his other hand to grip the back of his neck. He could feel his short nails puncturing through the skin, scratching at the short hairs and gathering flecks of skin beneath his nails. But it didn't do much to calm him down.

All of Evan's life, all of Jack's life, they had been lied to. Ten years, they had sat by and let Evan raise Jack in blissful ignorance that there could be anything wrong or underlying with him. They watched for a whole decade as Jack grew up and they never once told Evan that something might be amiss, that there could be something passed down to him.

If Evan kept a secret from Maddie he felt like his intestines were churning themselves into knots and he always felt his body prickling with heat and his heart had palpitations when he thought about what he was hiding from her. He thought she felt the same. But how could she when she had gone over twenty years without telling Evan the biggest secret in their lives?

When Maddie stood up, Evan glared down at her. His upper lip curled into a tight grimace and his nose crinkled as he wondered who on Earth was stood in front of him right now.

Whenever she tried to comfort him growing up, Evan always felt like he was home, like he was safe. Not this time. This time, as Maddie brushed her hand along his arm and tried to cup the sides of his neck, all Evan could feel was dwelling uncertainty and revulsion.

As Evan grew up and started to grow taller, Maddie started to loop her arms around his neck or she would pull on his shoulders to drag him down to her height for a hug. They both secretly loved that he was the little brother and yet he was tall and broad and could envelope Maddie in a hug.

But as Maddie tried to nudge Evan's neck and pull him down for a hug like she always did, her lower lip wobbled and a broken sound left her lips when Evan didn't budge. He tensed his neck and tilted his chin back, fighting off more tears as he refused to look at her.

She couldn't hug away the guilt she felt and she couldn't expect Evan to sit down and accept this like he accepted every other wrong-doing in his life.

This was different; this involved Jack.

Reaching behind his neck, Evan held Maddie's hand with a strange tenderness but she hated how he pulled her touch away and dropped her hand back towards her. He didn't want her to hug him. He didn't want their parents to try either because he could see they were now both stood up and trying to inch closer.

The slightest touch of Margaret's hand on Evan's shoulder made him recoil and stumble into (Y/n) as he tried to step back. Her touch had never been comforting since he was a child and right now it repulsed him.

"Don't touch me." The way Margaret uttered his name in despair didn't make Evan feel anything but anger. She had no reason to be so upset when she had brought this on herself. All three of them had.

His hand tightened around (Y/n)'s and he nudged her back until she took the hint and started walking towards the doorway with Evan close behind. They weren't staying here any longer. They needed to go home and talk and process this before they had to collect Jack from school and act like their world hadn't just been twisted into an alternate dimension.

"We're leaving. And don't think you're gonna see Jack on this shitty little visit, not after this." The way Evan pointed at his parents made both of them stutter and gasp and his mother seemed to clasp her hands in front of her like she was suddenly going to pray for his forgiveness.

"Evan, please!"

He had never heard his father say his name in such a desperate manner or sound like he was begging him. It was so strange that Evan almost felt like he was in a dream. But he wasn't going to relent and he knew by the way that (Y/n) squeezed his arm and kissed his shoulder that she felt the same.

They had come here solely to drop this bombshell and explain what they had done wrong. They weren't here to see Jack or ask how he was or what kind of treatment he needed, that came second. What they prioritised was earning Evan's forgiveness minutes after unloading their guilt onto him.

That wasn't how it worked. They couldn't do this and then expect they could still see Jack. Evan wouldn't let them near his son, not until this had all cleared up and Evan found a way to forgive them. Maddie, he would forgive. In a day or two, he would see reason and allow his guard to drop, but he wasn't sure when- or indeed if, he would ever be able to truly forgive his parents for this.

Evan was about to walk through the doorway when he turned after a second thought and glanced over his shoulder at the three of them. "You know, I may not have been good enough to save this brother I never knew, but I'll be damned if I can't save my boy. This time, my blood's gonna be enough."

Evan's sole purpose when he had been born might have been to save his brother, but his purpose now was to save his son.

And he wouldn't let Jack down.

More Posts from Oneandonlybbygrl and Others

10 months ago

Forbidden Bonds

masterlist ! pairing Feyd-Rautha x reader

SUMMARY : Y/n is Princess Irulan sister and she falls in love with Feyd Rautha

Dune Masterlist

Forbidden Bonds

In the opulent halls of the Imperial Palace on Kaitain, Princess Y/N, sister to Princess Irulan, found herself drawn to a figure that stood at the center of intrigue and danger—Feyd-Rautha, the enigmatic heir of House Harkonnen.

As the daughter of the Emperor, Y/N was accustomed to a life of privilege and duty, her every move dictated by the expectations of her royal lineage. But in the shadows of the palace corridors, she found herself yearning for something more—a taste of freedom, a glimpse of passion.

One fateful evening, as she attended a lavish gala in honor of her sister's betrothal to another nobleman, Y/N's eyes met Feyd-Rautha's across the crowded ballroom. There was an intensity in his gaze, a magnetism that drew her in like a moth to a flame.

Approaching him with cautious steps, Y/N found herself ensnared by the allure of his presence. "Feyd-Rautha," she began, her voice barely above a whisper, "you are a mystery I am eager to unravel."

Feyd-Rautha, with his customary confidence, offered her a charming smile. "And you, Princess Y/N, are a vision of beauty that has captured my heart."

In the midst of the swirling dancers and whispered conversations, Y/N and Feyd-Rautha found themselves drawn into a dance unlike any other. Their movements were fluid, their gazes locked in a silent exchange that spoke volumes of the forbidden attraction that simmered between them.

As the music swelled and the world faded away, Y/N and Feyd-Rautha found themselves lost in each other's arms—a fleeting moment of freedom amidst the constraints of their respective worlds.

But their stolen moment of passion was not to last. As whispers of their clandestine encounter spread through the palace, Y/N's father, the Emperor, grew increasingly suspicious of her affections.

Confronted by her father's disapproval, Y/N was torn between duty and desire, between the expectations of her station and the longing of her heart. But in Feyd-Rautha's arms, she found a sanctuary—a refuge from the pressures of her royal lineage.

"I cannot deny the pull I feel toward you, Feyd-Rautha," Y/N confessed, her voice trembling with emotion. "But our love is forbidden, a flame that threatens to consume us both."

Feyd-Rautha's gaze held a mixture of determination and longing. "I would defy the entire galaxy for you, Y/N. Our love may be forbidden, but it is also undeniable."

As the palace walls closed in around them, Y/N and Feyd-Rautha made a pact to defy the constraints of their worlds—to carve out a future where their love could flourish, unburdened by the expectations of others.

But as they stole one last embrace beneath the moonlit sky, they knew that the path ahead would be fraught with challenges and sacrifices. For in a world where power and politics reigned supreme, their love was a delicate flower, threatened by the looming shadows of betrayal and deceit.

Yet, as they parted ways, their hearts intertwined in a bond that transcended the boundaries of their worlds. For in each other's arms, Y/N and Feyd-Rautha found a love that was worth fighting for—a love that would defy empires and endure for eternity.

3 weeks ago

𝒲𝒾𝓏𝓏 is the best way to meet new friends.

6 months ago

Hey! I saw you were accepting Feyd requests and I got so excited! Could you do something where Feyd and reader have been married for a little while, have been pretty stand-offish and just keeping up appearances. They get into a fight over something stupid, saying hurtful things because reader still believes Feyd is incapable of feelings. Turns out he’s really protective though and gets seriously injured saving her during an attack? Reader panics trying to help him and the feels super guilty, meanwhile Feyd is enjoying the attention.

Staining

Feyd-Rautha x reader

Hey! I Saw You Were Accepting Feyd Requests And I Got So Excited! Could You Do Something Where Feyd And

Notes/Warnings: It's slightly different, but I hope you like it anyway. Mentions of blood and death. Smut so 18+. I'm sure there's typos. I think that's it.

Words: 4100

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

“You’re heartless”—that’s what you spit at him after watching him rip apart another family right before your eyes. 

He slaughtered a man for a petty crime, and then you had to watch what would become of the wife and children. 

He gave them options, of course. He presents all of them with a choice: to be servants for his House or to fight for survival in the slums of Giedi Prime. For the mother, it likely means you’ll have a new handmaid. For the boys, they will be trained so they can one day face off in the arena. Either way, it's no life.

As he announced the options for their future, you couldn’t look away from her: the woman whose husband lay at her feet, the blood drained from his body as she attempted to shield her two young sons behind her small frame. You watched her kind eyes go permanently wide out of shock. She needed to answer your husband’s question, give a response to his merciful offer, but she couldn’t. Nothing on her moved save for the grip she had on her boys, which only tightened the longer she stared at her dead lover. 

You knew what would happen to them. Your husband found her silence and inability to snap out of her trace irritating. She would make a poor handmaid if she could not listen. The boys, however, could still make fine warriors—guaranteed entertainment a few years down the line. 

So he separated them. Allowed the guards to pry them away from their mother’s fingers—who left her state of shock behind only when she felt them being ripped from her hands—before dragging them to cells with tears streaming down their round cheeks. 

Their mother collapsed to the floor by her dead husband. His blood soaked her skirts. You didn’t know how a man could do this to his own people for something as simple as the theft of some food, but he does, and often. Then he had her thrown out, back to the slums where she came from. 

She’ll never see her boys again. If you know your husband, he will likely one day force the two to face off with each other in the arena. After all, that’s where his uncle finds entertainment, and your husband will do anything to please the old man. 

Long after his guards have departed with the woman, you’re still staring at the body on the floor. The red around him is congealing. If you run your finger through it, the digit will return sticky and thickly coated. He’ll stain your skin. He’ll stain through your skin onto your insides. He’ll never come off. 

He’s like your husband, you think. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen stained you, and impressively, he didn’t even have to touch you to achieve that. Simply being in his presence was enough to leave his mark, and you’re in his presence plenty, just not how you imagined you would be when you married him. You imagined being in his bed. You imagined kisses and loving caresses and sweet words—that kind of staining. But you were a naive girl when your parents dropped you off on this planet, and you quickly learned how to be a woman; a woman whose husband only uses her for formality’s sake. 

You don’t know why you have to be by his side for this, though, but he always ensures that you are. The two of you…a solidified front to the world, as if you agree with the choices he makes and the punishment he doles out to those who don’t deserve it.

So that’s why you say it. Because you’re tired of this, tired of being silent, hating the idea that your silence might lead him to think the two of you are on the same page; that you’re a team. 

“You’re heartless.”

His head whips to you. “Heartless…” His voice around the word is vile; thick and rich like the blood on the floor. With a few steps in your direction he is in your space and you clasp your hands in front of you, fingers squeezing tightly to keep yourself from running off. He stares down at you, a luminous blue that you found so stunningly gorgeous when you first met him now a pair of frozen icicles stabbing into your skull. “I’m heartless?”

Your swallow is rough. Dry and scratchy. 

“I’m not the one who steals from his neighbors. I’m not the one who risks leaving his wife alone for the rest of her life,” he says. “They know the laws. They know the consequences.”

“And the woman? She deserves to be alone, rotting away in poor living conditions because of his choice? Her children deserve to die for your entertainment?”

“You take issue with how I handle things?”

“Yes.”

Feyd’s back teeth clench. His jaw sets in a sharp line. “Another reason for you to hate me then,” he grits out.

You blink. Your lips part. Another reason? You don’t have multiple reasons, and there’s certainly nothing you’ve done to indicate that you do. You used to hate that he didn’t, and doesn’t, care about you, but you’ve never said a word about it. You’ve never bothered him about sleeping in separate rooms or asked him to give you anything of himself. This—his treatment of his people in situations like this one—isn’t another reason. It’s the reason. 

“You could deal with these matters differently,” you say.

His fingers form balls at his sides. His mouth opens. It closes. He shakes his head and walks past you but pauses before he is completely out of your peripherals. “This is how things are done here,” he says. “You’ve been my wife for five months now. You need to get used to it.”

You don’t get used to it. You don’t get used to it because he doesn’t demand you be by his side at his executions anymore. Not after that day. 

You’d never spoken up before that moment, and it cost you what little interaction you had with your husband, which you despise to say was precious. You may not love him, and at times hate him, but he is the only thing you have on this planet. Little as you spoke to one another before, you held onto it because no one else gives a damn about you. Not that he does either, but at least he would give you a word or two. His brother and the Baron don’t bother, leaving you to Feyd to decide what to do with and when to do it. 

However, you imagine they didn’t expect that he would never touch you, and based on the way they watch you and Feyd when you’re forced to join the Harkonnen’s for dinner, you imagine they’re now aware that whatever was between you—minute as it was—is gone. He doesn’t even call on you for formal events. He no longer cares about showing a unified front to the other Great Houses. But you do.

You know what reputation means to the Harkonnens, and regardless of how you feel about the history of Feyd’s choices, you’re not willing to present your life on Giedi Prime as a failure. The two of you are too young for whispers to spread among influential families of a tainted marriage, a crack in the system. You don’t need questions floating about in regards to a unification that will not result in an heir. The end of the Harkonnen line, they’ll say, as Rabban, much older than your husband, has yet to choose a wife. How unfortunate, they’ll slyly mutter around the rims of their champagne glasses. And you’re not ready for that. 

So, with the exception of executions, you attend the events your husband does not invite you to anymore. You make sure your face is seen, especially when most vital. At his meetings, at his fights in the arena, and at Harkonnen parties such as this one. 

People enjoy themselves here. Shockingly, a few strong drinks eases the tension between Houses, and Giedi Prime has the strongest drinks of them all. It’s a tactic. A genius one, if you’re honest. The Baron invites his guests and gets them in a good mood and strikes deals one cannot go back on. Brilliant. Something you might have thought of yourself if your husband let you share your thoughts; thoughts you have plenty of. But no one cares how you would rule this planet if you had a say in its future.

You watch the Houses mingle about. You watch them laugh and dance. You watch them watch your husband. You watch them watch you. You watch the wheels turn in their alcohol-addled brains. You roll your eyes at what he doesn’t see. 

Ungluing yourself from your designated spot, you step up the staircase that leads to the Harkonnen men, your husband and his brother flanking the throne the Baron sits upon. You don’t think to speak to any of them; you didn’t break away from your assigned location for words. Instead, for all to see, you reach up to cup Feyd’s cheek and turn his head toward you for the first kiss since the day of your wedding. A gentle brush of lips. A buzz more engulfing than any drink could offer.

He freezes, and when you pull back his lips are still parted. His eyes open slowly and he stares down at you in awed confusion. How he doesn’t understand why you’ve done what you’ve done is just short of bewildering, but it doesn’t seem to click. 

“You–”

“I’m going to retire for the night,” you tell him. You’ve been at this party long enough, and the guests have now seen what they needed to see. Not to mention, their tipsy state means they’ll soon forget any thoughts they have about you until morning. They’ll stop searching for your presence. 

You don’t wait for your husband’s nod of approval. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t care where you are at any given time anyway, so you descend the staircase and exit the grand room into the hall that leads to your bedroom.

The echo of footsteps follows and you’re bold enough to believe it could be Feyd before a blade is pressed against your throat from behind. For a moment, you think it still might be your husband—retaliation for the kiss that re-sparked a feeling you’ve been trying to ignore since you married him—but the voice in your ear is feminine. 

“He killed my husband, my Lady,” the voice says, and you instantly remember her. It’s been two months but nothing could make you forget the look in her eyes. “I want my sons.”

You swallow hard. The blade nicks your throat from the additional force. A droplet trickles down your neck. “I can’t return your sons to you,” you tell her, at the same time questioning how she infiltrated such a secure place. But you suppose with the number of guests, slipping in would not have been the most difficult of challenges. 

You wince at the deepening cut. Your heartbeat quickens, doing little to aid in stopping the blood seeping from your wound. “You’re the na-Baronness.”

“I have little power here.”

“I don’t care!” she shouts, her words bouncing off the walls. “I want my boys,” and you think now she’s crying. Her tone alters. Something catches in her throat. “What’s happened to them?”

You don't wish to tell her, but you’re in no position to deny her requests. “They’re alive and well,” you say, which isn’t a complete lie. The Baron prefers strong, well-fed fighters—the duels last longer that way. 

“I want them back!”

“As much as I would like to, I cannot give them back to you. It’s not my decision.”

“Then I’ll take you from him,” she spits. “The way he took mine.”

You must’ve put on a grander show than you expected with that kiss because she seems to fully believe that your death would matter to him. But you know he won’t blink an eye. He might even thank her. Reward her by reuniting her with her sons, though unlikely. 

“He won’t care,” you tell her. 

“I have seen him, my Lady. He will care,” she says, and you don’t know how she could possibly come to that conclusion or why. It’s not as if the people of Giedi Prime sense a kind capability from the Harkonnens. “He will–”

She chokes. The blade trembles then drops from your neck. You quickly glance down to find Feyd’s knife deep in her side. 

Many things are a mystery to you in that moment. Why he bothered to leave the party; why he came down this hall of all halls, especially when his room resides in another; and why he pierced her side rather than go for the neck, which would have instantly ended her. His mistake. An uncharacteristic mistake.

The woman whips around, freeing you, and you stumble out of reach. They’re a blur of battling bodies as you get your footing, but then it catches up with you—the pain. Your hand goes to your neck and you make a little noise at the sting of your fresh wound. Your mistake. 

Feyd looks away from her in search of you for a single second. Not even. A half-second. But the woman is smaller, quicker, and the distraction is enough. Her blade slides into his abdomen. He grunts. You gasp.

He regains his focus and, by her hair, he rips her head back to expose her throat and shoves the blade through her neck. Blood spurts across his chest as he removes the weapon, and she collapses to her knees before the rest of her body flops to the floor. 

Feyd takes a shaky step back, staring down at the blade in his torso. He drops his knife and his hand goes to the hilt of the other. 

“No, don’t!” you yell, but you’re too late. He jerks the blade out and it clatters on the ground. His palm does nothing to stop the flow of crimson. 

Rushing to him, you fall to the floor as he does. You press your hands on top of his to keep the pressure but it’s useless. “Don’t you know anything?” you mutter. “You should’ve kept the damn thing in.”

He chuckles. The bastard actually chuckles. Then his other hand raises and lands on top of yours. You think he’s trying to add more pressure, but his touch is gentle. His thumb runs over your knuckles. 

“It’s alright,” he says, and you’ve never heard his voice so devoid of depth and strength.

“No, it’s not,” you retort, irritated. 

“You still hate me?”

“Shut up!” you snap. “Help!” Yanking the black chiffon sleeve off your gown, it tears free and you ball the material to shove it against his wound. “Help!” 

Guards burst through the doors and run to you. You sigh with relief, but when you look down, your husband is paler than you’ve ever seen him. 

“Feyd…” 

You’re shoved out of the way in a second, flung to the side like a flicked-away ant, and then he’s taken from you. You watch them until he’s out of view. When you glance down at your hands, they’re stained with him. 

They bandaged your neck in mere minutes and you find it aggrivating that they couldn’t work as efficiently on him. You’ve been dead silent for hours now, expecting to hear screams of pain as they stitch him back together, but then you remember he’s a glutton for pain. He’s probably enjoying it, the sick bastard. But you’re not enjoying it—the waiting, the limbo. It’s torturous. 

You’ve never seen him hurt before. You’ve witnessed his skills in the arena, and not once in your seven months of marriage has someone gotten a decent slash on him. 

Guilt hits you hard as you recall that it’s your fault. That woman was skilled as well—you suppose she would be if she was raised to live where she did—but if you hadn’t made that noise, if you hadn’t distracted him, she would’ve been dead before she could do her damage. This wouldn’t have happened. 

Just then, a knock comes at your door. You speak for them to enter and a guard peeks into your room. “My Lady…” he says, and you pray you’re not about to be told your husband didn’t survive a single stab wound. “You can come with me.”

You don’t wait around for more. You hop to your feet and quickly follow through hall after hall until you’re at his room. 

“What will I see when I walk in there?” you ask. 

“He’s fine, my Lady,” he says, bowing his head to dismiss himself before returning to his post. 

Turning the knob, you edge the door open and step inside. The bed is in immediate view, but he’s not in it. He’s not in it and he should be. Not even the covers are pulled back. Maybe the guard misled you. If he were fine, surely he would be resting. 

You make your way in further. 

“You’re here.” 

Your head snaps to your right where he’s leaning against the lone table in his room, a lit orb on the wooden surface illuminating him from behind in a white glow. He’s less pale than he was; what little rosiness he once had returned to his skin. 

Clearing your throat, you say, “I was told to come.”

“Because I told them to bring you,” he says. 

Your heart pounds at the bareness of his torso, the thickness of his arms as they cross in front of his chest. It pounds in a different way, an off-kilter way, when you notice the dressings wrapped around his waist and the patch of blood that is seeping through three layers of it. 

He must see your distraction because he says, “It’s fine.” Your eyes flick back to his. A beat of silence passes between you. You’re unsure how to continue now that he’s seen the concern you have for him. “I suppose you’re disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” you repeat. “What for?”

“I’m alive.”

Your jaw drops ever so slightly. You recover as best you can before you say, “Feyd, I don’t want you to—I’ve never wanted you to–”

He holds up his hand, cutting you off. “I’m going to listen to you.”

Your brow pinches. Why did he silence you, then? “Listen to me about what?”

He takes a deep breath, an action that lifts his shoulders and has them falling heavily back down. His eyes penetrate you as they’ve always done, but the iciness is gone. “I don’t care if the people I hurt want to kill me,” he starts. “But she didn’t come to kill me; she came to hurt me by killing you. So I will listen to your thoughts when it comes to dealing with matters like that one.” He pauses, expecting a response, but you don’t quite know what to give him, so he continues. “Your voice will make fewer enemies.”

“You care about making enemies?” Since when would a Harkonnen ever care about such a thing? Especially when they are known for doing that thing so well.

“I care when they come after my wife,” he says. Pushing off the table, he leisurely steps toward you. You’re stuck to your spot. “The men of my House do not have a history of caring about their wives. They’ve never cared if their actions bring them harm, and yet, people have used our wives as pawns for revenge for centuries. Many have died to prove a point. I’m not going to let you be one of them.”

He stops only to not collide with your body. You have to look up to maintain eye contact, and when you do, his breath brushes over your lips. “Why didn’t you kill her when you could have? You stabbed her in the side. You avoided vital organs.”

“Because you wouldn’t have wanted me to kill her if I didn’t have to,” he says. “So I didn’t kill her…until I had to.”

You suck in a sharp breath. You didn’t know he was capable of such restraint. You didn’t know he had enough fragments of a heart to glue together to keep him from doing exactly as he pleases. 

His hand lands on your hip and his thumb begins to rub up and down over the curve of it. He hasn’t touched you…ever. In fact, he’s seemed over the months to deliberately avoid it. Like your skin would burn him even through the fabric of your gowns. Anytime it looked like he would try, he’d pull back before flesh grazed flesh. 

“You hadn’t kissed me since we married,” he says, so gentle in that low voice that it’s practically a whisper. It doesn’t make the heat of his breath any less intense against your skin. 

“People were watching too intensely,” you inform him. “They were thinking something was wrong between us, I could tell, and I didn’t want to give them that power over you.”

“So that was it, then?” he asks. “That’s the only reason you did it?”

“That’s–” you swallow, debating whether or not to say it, to give him more. 

“What?”

“That’s the reason I did it,” you decide to tell him, and his face shifts; his features alter in a manner you’ve never seen. He looks down to his feet. He nods and his touch disappears, and now you feel cold and you hate it. “But that’s not the only reason I wanted to do it.”

He freezes as he did before. For a moment, his chest stops rising and falling with expected breaths. When his tongue darts out to wet his lips, he raises his head. 

You can’t stop staring, even though your brain is telling you to get ahold of yourself. His mouth is so plush. You’ve always known it. It’s always done something to you. And whatever that something is, it’s more potent now that he’s so close and you can see his lips glistening in the low light. 

“Will you do it again?” he asks.

Again? You didn’t imagine he wanted you to do it the first time, or the second. The first was an obligation. The second was not exactly mutually agreed upon. But as he stands in front of you, asking, you can’t bring yourself to say no. You don’t want to say no. So you say yes, and you inch up on your toes until your lips meet his. 

Immediately, he’s yanking your body flush against his. His hand goes into your hair, and he parts his lips so they can better lock with yours. He’s good at this, and you don’t want to think about why, can’t think about why without a knot of jealousy settling in your gut that only dissipates when those hands travel down your body to the back of your thighs. You’re in the air, your legs wrapped around his waist, your lips still sealed for one second more before your back hits the mattress and he’s on top of you with his leg shoving between yours, nudging your thighs open for him. 

You don’t know the exact moment it happens, but your skirts are up to your waist and he’s inside of you, moving in and out, kissing your neck and pulling gasps from your throat, and it feels right, good, like pieces falling together. A bit of you feels guilty for that. That you can know what he’s done to people and still want to feel the pleasure of every inch that he’s giving you. You’re selfish, maybe that’s it. Maybe you’ve always been and you didn’t know it. You can’t bring yourself to care as he makes those deep noises in your ear and stains your insides.

After you’re sated, you lay there for a while with him in your arms and his arms wrapped around your waist. His head rests on your chest. You think about the things you’ve done to each other in the course of an hour and it brings a blush to your cheeks. You think about how you can’t go back and that you don’t want to. You’ve wanted this from the beginning, despite what he’s done. You expected it when you married him only to be sorely disappointed at his lack, or what appeared as a lack, of interest. You’re definitely selfish, at least when it comes to him. But you refuse to be when it comes to other matters.

“I want something from you,” you say. He hums, content. “I want us to take in that woman's boys.”

1 month ago

Rise from the ashes (1) - Into the woods

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods

Summary: You're abandoned, but the woods offer more than trees.

Pairing: Alpha(dark king) Ari Levinson x Omega!Reader

Warnings: angst, betrayal, a/b/o, scenting, protective Ari, character's death (unnamed alpha), werewolf au, transformation

A/N: In my story, they live in a strict a/b/o verse. If an omega is rejected, she’ll be banned from the pack and left to die.

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods

The wind gently tugs at the white, silky dress you’re wearing for today’s ceremony. You are the chosen one this time. The last unbonded omega to be chosen by a mate.

You’re giddy and excited, but a little scared too. What if you do not like the alpha choosing you? What if he regrets his claim one day?

“Follow me,” the head alpha says, guiding you toward the clearing of bloom. The place where bonds are forged for eternity. A holy place, a sacred one. No one would dare to shed blood here in war.

You obediently follow the alpha, your leader, and the most trusted person in your pack. His words are the law. No one disagrees with him.

“You know the procedure, right? Your parents taught you well, or so I heard,” the leader talks more to himself than you. This is routine to him. A new omega every month. Faceless women, guided toward their fate.

“Yes, Alpha Prime,” you murmur, afraid to anger him if you speak louder. Some people told you that your voice is unpleasant, and that’s the last thing you want to reveal today.

“I like the dress you chose and that you’re not wearing too much make-up or perfume. The alphas will be pleased scenting your natural scent.” Your heart flutters at his praise. Maybe the ceremony of fate is nothing you have to fear after all.

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods

All eyes are on you standing in the middle of the sacred flower field. Your heart beats out of your chest as the unmated alphas approach you.

“You all know the rules. You can scent but not touch her, alphas. Be respectful, or the moon goddess will punish you for breaking the rules.” Alpha Prime’s voice booms through the night. “We shall begin now!”

You hold your breath as the first alpha moves closer, stopping only inches from you. He sniffs in your direction, huffing before he steps away. No match, but you still hold your hopes high. There are more than fifteen alphas. One of them will choose you. You’re sure about it.

A gentle breeze touches your skin, tugging at your dress as more alphas step toward you. They line up, scenting you, looking you up and down, even circling you before every single one leaves without laying claim on you.

Your eyes water as only a few alphas are left. There must be something wrong with your scent, or you. How can every single one reject you?

You wring your hands as two alphas step closer. They sniff at you, waiting for a moment before shaking their heads in unison.

With each rejection, your heart sinks further, but you refuse to let despair consume you.

The last alpha steps forward. He takes his time, circling you slowly, his nostrils flaring as he takes in your scent. Hope flickers within you, but it dies as quickly as it bloomed when he too shakes his head and steps back.

Cold fear grips your heart. You know what this means. If no one chooses you as their mate, you cannot stay in the pack for longer.

“The alphas have spoken,” the leader says. There’s something in his eyes you haven’t seen before. You expected a hint of sadness or regret for what he’s about to do, but all you see is relief.

The strongest guards of the pack step forward; they grab you to wrap a rope around your wrists. It’s unnecessary. How could you fight a whole pack? Your fate has been decided. You’re going to do the walk and die in the dark woods no one dares to enter.

“Rules must be followed. Y/N, you will be permanently banned from our pack. You’re not allowed to come back. If you dare to step onto our territory, you’re going to die through my hands,” Alpha Prime declares, still no regret in his eyes.

The guards drag you away. You don’t fight them. Head hanging low, you try to not cry. You want to keep the rest of your dignity.

Alpha Prime is right. Rules must be followed.

The guards are silent while Alpha Prime and his brother whisper. You try to catch their conversation and frown as they talk about this year’s sacrifice. Your name falls from their lips, and you finally lift your head.

“The forest god will be all too happy with her. Her scent is pleasant,” Alpha Prime whispers. “It was a struggle for all the alphas to not choose her.”

Your heart drops. Deception. All the rules and ceremonies are an illusion. You’re a sacrifice to some god? How can this be? Does anyone else know about this?

The guards stop right at the border, parting your territory from the pack of the dark woods’ territory. They live further in the woods, but you won’t make it to their territory.

Whatever is lurking in the woods will get you first.

“Be honored.” Alpha Prime whispers in your ear. “We choose only the special ones to become the sacrifice. Every single alpha wanted to claim you, Y/N.”

His words mean nothing to you. The rules, the hierarchy, mating, alphas—nothing makes sense anymore. The betrayal cuts deep as they push you over the border. You stop to look over your shoulder, but the guards aim their guns at you.

“Go, make us proud,” Alpha Prime says. He lifts his hands to the moon, howling loudly as you set into motion.

You run faster than ever before. Maybe you can make it to the dark forest’s pack. Maybe they will take you in. Maybe you won’t die tonight.

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods

Your lungs are burning. You’ve got blisters on the soles of your feet, but still try to keep on pushing forward. “Where to?” You ask yourself while hiding behind a large tree.

It’s pitch black, and you don’t know where you are going. You lost orientation and track of time shortly after you started to run.

“I can’t… I just can’t,” you sniffle and sink to your knees, hugging yourself. “It’s impossible to escape fate.”

“Fate?” A deep voice coming out of nowhere says. It sounds as if your mind is trying to mock you as it continues. “Your fine people send random girls to my woods once a year. This is not fate; this is illegal waste disposal.”

“We are not waste!” You rise to your feet again to yell into the darkness. “We didn’t know anything about this sacrifice shit. They lied to us,” you sniffle. “They lied…”

“Fate. Ceremonies. Nonsense!” The voice booms, making even the ground shake. Whatever or whoever is trying to make fun of you must be a very powerful being.

“Moon goddess?” You immediately sink to your knees and lower your head. “Forgive me my impertinence.”

“Get back up,” the voice chastises. “We don’t have time for this. In these woods, rogues have been sneaking around my territory for ages. You don’t want to encounter them.”

“Rogues?” You shriek as someone grabs your arms to force you back on your feet. He steps away to get a better look at you.

The dim moonlight offers a good view of the man.

You gasp as you face a tall alpha. His blue, piercing eyes are framed by a strong jawline and a neatly trimmed beard that accentuates his rugged good looks.

The way he stands, with his arms crossed and his expression brooding, tells you he’s a man used to being in control.

The dark blue shirt he wears clings to his broad shoulders and muscular frame, hinting at the strength that lies beneath.

“Who are you? You’re not the moon goddess…”

“Oh, you got that already?” He smirks as you look at him with angry eyes. “The moon goddess does not wander among mere humans. Not in these woods anyways.”

He is silent for a moment, dipping his head as he listens to the noises in the woods.

“What are you doing?” You whisper, afraid there’s more in these woods than the cocky alpha.

“We have to go.” He grabs your bound wrists and drags you with him, not giving you the chance to protest.

The alpha is fast. Faster than you as he runs through the woods, forcing you to keep up with him. “Omega, don’t give up. We don’t want to get eaten by the rogues.”

“Eaten?” You pant heavily when he finally stops in his tracks.

He sniffs left and right, eyes turning red as he scents some other alpha. Gritting his teeth, he growls low in his throat. He throws his head back, howling, making the ground shake once again.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this one to me. If not, you can try to fight the dark king.”

“Dark king,” you whisper under your breath. Many stories about the dark king have been told to you and the others in your pack over the years. The elders called him a beast with red eyes and poisonous claws. A werewolf from the dark ages.

He dips his head, listening closely as you hear footsteps coming in your direction.

“They never learn,” he sighs deeply before turning his head toward you. “Step back, hide behind the tree, and don’t come out before I’m back to myself.”

You nod and run toward the tree, hiding behind it. You’re shaking in fear as you dig your fingertips into the bark of the tree.

“I guess this means you want to fight,” he laughs and cracks his neck loudly. The alpha rolls his shoulders and stretches his back.

While he takes off his shoes, pants, and shirt, the footsteps come even closer.

You shiver and press your body closer to the tree.

“Last warning,” he says. “I’ll let you live if you go now.”

You don’t know if he tries to trick the men or if he has lost his mind. He stands naked in front of three tall alphas, and all he does is howl.

“He’s going to end up dead,” you murmur to yourself. You can’t shift without the power of the moon and will end up dead too if you try to help him.

A deep, guttural growl rumbles in his chest. His eyes flash red again as his features begin to morph.

His jaw elongates into a muzzle, making you gasp. How can he shift without a full moon?

His fingers lengthen and sharpen into deadly claws as you watch the men stop in their tracks. They look as confused as you are.

As his transformation continues, thick, coarse fur spreads all over his body. His massive, muscular frame casts a shadow that sends shivers down your spine.

“He transformed without the moon!” The men gasp and whine while you’re too shocked to even blink as the largest wolf you have ever seen moves toward the rogues.

He jumps at them, killing their leader with one bite to their neck.

“These are my woods. No one hurts animals or people seeking shelter here. Leave and never come back.”

The wolf growls, making the other men run for their lives. He doesn’t follow them, though.

“How—” You step toward the wolf to get a closer look. Your hand reaches out to touch his fur, and he lets you. “Why can you shift without the full moon?”

The wolf turns around to sit in front of you. He’s an impressive sight. At least seven feet tall, the wolf looks down at your small, trembling form.

“The moon goddess blessed me,” he purrs before nuzzling the hand you’re still holding up. The huge wolf closes his eyes, enjoying your soft caresses. “We need to go. More of them will come.”

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods

You watched him shift back, cheeks heating up as he put his clothes back on. He was, in any form, impressive and beautiful.

“You killed one, but not the others,” you whisper as he looks you all over for any sign of injuries. “Why?”

“He was the leader and killed one of the omegas they sent here last year. I came too late…” He shakes his head. “I must protect the innocent. I failed her. I won’t fail again.”

“Why did you let the others get away then?”

“They didn’t do anything,” he replies. “I only kill if it’s necessary. He was a monster; the others weren’t."

“I don’t even know your name,” you hold out your other hand. “My name is Y/N.”

“I know,” he says, smiling softly. “The moon goddess talked to me in my sleep. She sent you to me. I’m Ari, your alpha, your true mate. And you are going to become my queen…”

Rise From The Ashes (1) - Into The Woods
2 months ago

anyone interested in a part 4 for my stucky omegaverse (milk and honey) au??👀👀

1 month ago

Love Thy Enemy

Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/N: Hello! Sorry guys I was protesting against the government of my country and joined the riots and almost got arrested, I'm back tho. Love you little doves.

Warnings: SMUT IS HERE! Minors get the f out. Pregnancy sex! P in V! Wrap it before you tap it folks!

Words: 4.019K

TAG LIST IS OPEN! (Let me know if i forgot to tag your or if you changed your username pls)

Chapter Thirteen

In the coronation chamber, Baron Vladimir Harkonenn was seated in his floating device, towering above his subjects, he was fuming in anger. Lady Wench’s servants’ heads on the stairs of his throne, covering the black stone stairs in blood, It looked as if the stairs were a river of black water, ‘’How could she manage to escape?!’’ he roared at his advisor who was also his right hand, the bald headed man was shaking in fear, he was a lithe man, his uniform jet black with certain colors on his left shoulder to show his rank. ‘’My Lord, Baron Vladimir,’’ he began, controlling his voice, his head low, ‘’Our Lady Na-Baroness-‘’ his speech was cut with Baron’s raspy voice, ‘’Do not dare call that bedchamber whore Na-Broness!’’ he had been ordering heads, shouting for strategic plans, he had sent a very angry letter to the Padishah Emperor Shaddam and also Duke Leto and the Reverend Mother. That old wench was the reason why Vladimir said yes to this union, he knew this little girl was a trouble and he remembered the conversation he had with Feyd-Rautha, his nephew months ago when he had a meeting at Shaddam’s study chambers, Feyd had attended few minutes later…

‘’Did I miss anything?’’ Feyd entered with a wicked smile, he had just finished dancing with Lady Y/N, it brought up his spirits to annoy her, the look on her face was something he would like to see for the rest of his life. Shaddam was sitting on a stone chair, Duke was facing Vladimir. Reverend Mother was behind the Emperor.‘’Here is my nephew.’’ He announced, ‘’He had grown up since you saw him, Duke Leto.’’ It was true, the last time Atreides family had visited Giedi Prime all of their children were little, playing and fighting together. It broke the Duke’s heart to see how much the Baron corrupted his own nephews, Rabban was gone but maybe, maybe Feyd could be saved. ‘’I highly object to this union.’’ Duke said firmly, his hands were formed into fists, he wasn’t going to sell his first born daughter like a livestock, ‘’Leto,’’ Shaddam raised his hand and draw the attention, to Shaddam, Leto was like a son he never had, he wanted Leto to understand how much he cared for this union, all eyes were on their galactic Emperor. Reverend Mother was whispering venom into his ear, or so Leto thought.

‘’This union is very important to our houses and the entire galaxy. Long ago Atreides and Harkonnen fought for centuries and shed blood. I desire to prevent this happen again. It’s time for you to unite.’’

Of course there was some truth to it but the Bene Gesserit’s only plan wasn’t this. They have been trying to create a bloodline both connected to the Atreides and Harkonnen directly. Duke hated the witches, except Jessica, she was different, Duke hoped that she would support him, it was such a shame that even though they have been together for years she was still a Bene Gesserit witch. He was soon going to find out.

One could look up and see the strange look on Feyd’s face, Baron knew that look, he was excited for his new toy but he had suspicions, she seemed too independent and disobedient. Feyd would soon to be fed up with her and toss her aside once she gives birth to the heir of house Harkonnen. That night he warned Feyd when they were alone, ‘’If you do not wish to be with her we can find someone else for you. After all, their purpose is the same.’’ Baron said, he was on his bed, smoking, Feyd was summoned late at night to speak with his uncle. ‘’No uncle, I do wish her and only her.’’ That wicked smile placed itself on his plump lips.

He had never understood why Feyd was so persistent with her.. he didn’t have time to dwell on it anyways. ‘’My nephew shall find her and bring her to justice.’’ He announced, if he had looked hard enough he would see the reluctant eyes of his subjects, little did he know that Lady Na-Baroness had gained the favor of the people of Giedi Prime.

After her session with the Reverend Mother of the Sietch Y/N retrieved to her chamber, a small space with rugs on the floor and walls, she got used to the smell of the spice, she got used to the people and the people got used to her even though she caught them staring time to time, she looked different and her head was held high all the time, it draw attention that she was a member of the Bene Gesserit and could use the voice. She meditated all night on the words and facial structure of the Mother,

‘’he is looking for his wife..’’

‘’a treachery on his part..’’

‘’Soon..’’

It must be Feyd, she was sure that her arrival was detected by his men and they must be looking for her but treachery part was confusing, she tried to channel her ancestors but it was in vain, she had to be skilled for that. She gave up the meditation because a huge sound was heard throughout the Sietch, a blasting sound and a mini second later she could hear the screams and the laser guns. Y/N immediately left her room, Fremen soldiers were gearing up, old women and children were being escorted to safety, she could see that with huge machines the walls of Sietch were being blasted, ‘’Y/N!’’ her new friend Sama screamed her name and she turned to find the source and saw Sama running towards her, she was holding a knife and a small laser gun, ‘’Here, take these. The Harkonnens are attacking us. I don’t know how they found us-‘’ another huge blast and from the giant hole a pack of  bald headed men in black uniform entered with their high-tech guns. It was them for sure. ‘’Go,’’ she said to Sama, ‘’you have duties, I can protect myself.’’ Sama was reluctant but Y/N reassured her and smiled, after Sama’s departure she joined other healers and Sayyadinas to help the children and elderly, the entire Sietch was covered in dust which was the mixture of spice and smoke, Fremen soldiers were strong and charging but the Harkonnens had more arms and outnumbered the Fremen. Y/N was in charge of helping the old Reverend Mother to safety, she ran to her bedchamber to collect her, the woman was dressed in orange satin, a yellow scarf covering her hair, ‘’Reverend Mother,’’ she yelled to be heard, ‘’you have to leave. Now.’’ The old woman calmly looked at her with spice blue eyes, ‘’You are the only one who can save us,’’ she said with a low voice, ‘’go to him. End this war.’’

Y/N understood clearly and bowed her head, she ran back to the common hall of the Sietch which was raided by the Harkonnens, she was watching from a corner and she saw her husband, Feyd-Rautha Harkonenn, he was giving orders to his men, he was covered in black but on his arm there was a scarf tied, it was hers. Her heart ache when she saw it, he must have been looking for her for weeks. She had to do something to stop the battle and the bloodshed so she came up with an idea. Y/N looked around and found a high platform, a rock that towered the common hall, it was a place where sometimes Stilgar would announce things and make his speeches. She ran towards the rock to climb it, on the way she was careful and trying to not be found and recognized, the screams of innocent Fremens filled her ears and made her climb harder, her fingers were bleeding when she reached the top and with all of her strength she yelled; ‘’STOP!’’ thanks to the Sietch’s design at this place someone’s voice could be heard clearly from everywhere inside. The Fremens and the Harkonnen soldiers stopped and looked p to find the source of the sound, Feyd-Rautha knew that voice, the smell of her pheromones brought him here and there she was, on top of a rock, her beautiful hair long and loose, they made her wear a baggy beige dress, she looked tired and sad… ‘’My wife..’’ he whispered. She was here, he had found her.  ‘’You have kidnapped my wife!’’ Feyd-Rautha screamed at Stilgar who was closer to the rock, there was a distance between them but they could see each other, Stilgar knew that this woman was a Harkonnen’s wife and his people didn’t believe him. He was right all along. ‘’Make truce and you can have your wife back Harkonnen!’’ Stilgar uncovered his mask to be heard, he was suspecting that Feyd-Rautha was going to attack and he did something which made everyone stunned, he dropped his weapon, ‘’Let her come to me and  I swear you shall have a truce.’’

Stilgar weighed him conscientiously, he also dropped his weapon to show respect, even though the man before him was a Harkonnen. The silence hung in the thick air of the Sietch, due to the fires it was extremely hot inside, Fremen and Harkonnen soldiers were alert yet immobile. Stilgar turned to look at her at the top and motioned his head, she started to climb down the rock, her hands hurt but she managed to be steady, when her bare feet made contact with the sandy floor she released the breath she was holding. Stilgar held her arm vigorously and walked towards Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

When Feyd saw that Fremen trash’s hold he was about to get his laser gun to shoot but the look on Y/N’s face was begging him to be wise and calm. ‘’Take your wife and leave.’’ Stilgar said and stop, pushed her to Feyd and he caught her, Y/N was in his arms after so long.. she looked up to meet his azure eyes, she saw so many things there, primal fury, sadness, happiness.. they were all swimming in the deep orbits of his eyes, all he wanted to was to kiss her like a man starved but not here, not right now. Feyd looked at Stilgar who was a few inches away from them, ‘’You have your truce… for a week.’’ And without a beat he held his wife’s arm and guided her outside the Sietch.

No one dared to utter a single word on the ship back to the palace of Arrakis. Y/N sat there on the cold metal chair, Feyd in front of her, and two pilots at the front. His intense gaze was on her, she looked different, her hair was a mess, she looked dirtier and plumper and yet she was the most divine creature he had ever witnessed in his life time. His elbows on his knees, legs spread he was just staring, Y/N’s eyes found the dirty scarf tied around his bicep and then his pale face, he opened his mouth to say something and thought better and closed it. When they arrived she felt his hand on the small of her back, guiding her to the palace, she had seen the holograms of the palace before but seeing it up close was something else. One could see the traces of the Harkonnens, it was built by them 80 plus years ago and it was actually a gigantic structure yet simple. At the top it had a huge dome, she wanted to see it during the day light, maybe she could do it soon if she survived tonight…

His grip on her back tight, firm. Even though he was walking closely beside her his hand was possessive, she could feel it in her bones. The soldiers bowed as they saw her, ‘’Welcome back, Na-Baroness.’’ One of the higher ranked commander greeted her and she gently smiled, she didn’t have strength to speak, however her Bene Gesserit training was alerted, these men were actually relieved that she was here with them, maybe her policy back at Giedi Prime worked. As they walked the long stone corridors and reached to his bedchambers he unlocked the door with his thumb, the door opened and his hand gently pushed her inside and he locked the door, the inside consisted of a big bed, a door to the bathroom chamber, tall windows to see the endless desert, a spice rug at the middle of the room, not much of furniture except a leather couch and two armchairs, he pointed the couch, ‘’Sit.’’ Was the first word he said to her, his whole body tense. His chest felt tight, his fingers twitching, he wanted to take her in his arms again and check for any injuries, he had this deep desire to protect her, he came to sit across from her. Feyd had to take a sharp breath when he saw her eyes taring up but she was keeping her composure, ‘’Why did you escape Giedi Prime?’’

She exhaled, ‘’I had to..’’ she swallowed the lump in her throat, she was about to cry, ‘’I had no choice.’’ Her hand went to her stomach instinctively, his eyes following her action, ‘’Yes Feyd, I’m with child. The look on your face tells me that your uncle Baron Vladimir has been keeping it from you. He was the one who didn’t let me read the letters you had sent me for weeks, he is plotting my death after I give birth to our child.’’

His heart nearly stopped, the thought of her being with child, their child, was almost too much. Her hand on her stomach sent a wave of possessiveness, and protectiveness through him. ‘’I..’’ he began, ‘’You’re pregnant?’’ he was still in shock.  He felt sudden rush of different emotions all at once, happiness, surprise and… anger. Anger that his uncle kept them apart, that he kept her pregnancy from him, that he was planning his wife’s death. He wanted to reach out and touch her face, hold her, he had to hear you first and then he was going to love you and show you how much he had missed you. ‘’How long have you been pregnant?’’ his mind went to their last intimate moments, which was two months ago.

‘’For two months.’’ She replied.

It felt like someone punched Feyd, he clenched his jaw, this was all too much. She was pregnant with his child and he haven’t seen her for two months because of his uncle. ‘’Why didn’t you tell me-‘’ he knew there was no point in asking that but he couldn’t help it. The words just slipped out of his plump lips before he could stop them and that earned him a sudden outburst from Y/N. she bolted to her feet in anger, ‘’How was I suppose to tell you, huh? How was I suppose to let my husband know that I am pregnant with our first child when your uncle reads my correspondence and has his spies behind my tail?!’’ she was yelling at this point, ‘’I had to escape, you couldn’t take me with you because of your uncle but I came to you!’’

‘’I KNOW!’’ he nearly yelled at her, he also jumped to his feet, towering above her, he was also angry but not her, never her, he was angry at the entire situation that they were in. ‘’I know that you had to escape, I know that you came to me, I know I couldn’t take you with me!’’ he was yelling now, he took a step towards her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. ‘’Then why are you so cold towards me?!’’ her voice broke.

His hand went to his bald head, frustrated. He wasn’t cold towards her, he was on edge, he was trying to keep himself check, but her words were making him lose it. He grabbed her by the arms, his grip firm. ‘’Because I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do with you, with us, with my uncle’s blood plan.. I don’t know!’’

‘’He asked for my head didn’t he?’’ she was calm now, her voice as cold asa Bene Gesserit witch.

He was staring at her, his pupils blown wide, his hands still on her arms, ‘’Yes.’’ He admitted through gritted teeth, his grip even more tighter, he wanted to pull her close, to shield her from everything that was happening, ‘’He demands your head.’’

‘’What are you going to do Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen?’’ she asked coldly, ‘’It’s either your wife or your uncle.’’

His eyes hardened, ‘’I will not let him touch you.’’ He said with a harsh voice, his mind was In turmoil. Ever since he opened his eyes to this galaxy he has learned to suppress and channel emotions, yet he was a mess right now. ‘’I will not let him take you. He wants your head but he will not get it.’’ His gaze was intense, his voice now threatening.

Y/N reached and clashed her lips with his.

He was taken aback by the sudden kiss, his anger and turmoil melting into the kiss and replaced by a rush of desire and need. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her flush against him, his hands exploring her body greedily. He could feel his body ignite with a hunger for his wife, he was desperate for her touch, flesh, and taste. One of his hands moved up and entangled itself in her hair, holding her there, their mouths melded together in a heated and possessive embrace, it had been so long. She whispered between kisses, ‘’Take me to bed.’’

He immediately picked her up like she weighed nothing, took her to the bed and laid her on the mattress, his body following close behind. He knelt above her, his eyes dark with desire, he kissed her again deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth with a hunger that borders on wild desperation.    Her hands reached to take off his uniform and his breath almost stopped , he broke the kiss to help her, when he quickly got rid of his uniform he knelt to kiss her neck, bite and leave his marks on her. His large hands also helped her with her dress and she was naked under him, he took a step back to look at her, his jaw clenched again, his hands gently roamed on her soft flesh, his fingers were tracing every curve, every contour. He bent his head and placed a kiss on her shoulder, working his way down on her body with trail of hot kisses, his mouth worshiping every inch of her. He stopped when he reached her belly and looked up to meet her gaze, he felt a rush of emotions washing over him. It hit him that they were going to be parents, that she was carrying his child inside her. His heart swelled with a warm and fuzzy feeling, his fingers gently caressed her belly, almost as if he wanted to feel the baby that was growing inside her. His eyes were soft for a moment, he started to kiss her stomach again, making it emotional for her as well. Soon he went lower and lower and met her dripping core. His hands were gripping her hips, his mind was swirling with lust and need. A his mouth reached her core, he paused for a moment his breathing ragged and hot. He looked up at her, his eyes dark with desire, and he slowly took one of her legs over his shoulder giving himself more room to work. He slid his tongue over her slick flesh, tasting her, feeling her body shudder under his touch.

He didn’t know what has gotten into him but he just needed to drown himself in her. She moaned when he made the first contact, they had never done this before so it felt more intimate. His lips and tongue exploring her sensitive flesh, he was taking his time, wanting to savor every second. It was different than he had expected, more intimate and more pleasurable. He could feel her tremble under him, hearing her breathing change and he couldn’t help but draw out her pleasure, to make her feel good. His hands gripped her hips,  holding her in place as he swirled his tongue over her wetness, taking his time. She screamed his name ‘’Feyd!’’ as he inserted a finger, she was so wet and ready, it sent a wave of desire surging through him. He kept his mouth exploring, his tongue teasing and swirling while his finger worked inside, his mouth was hungry, his body heat getting hotter and hotter, he was losing himself in her reactions, in the sounds she was making, his own need was growing stronger and sending electricity. As he added another finger he could hear her gasps and whimpers, his mouth still on her wet folds, she tasted delicious, he was lost in her. It was so fun to watch her, she looked like a woman possessed and he was the one making her like this. ‘’Feyd,’’ she screamed, ‘’Feyd, I’m coming!’’ there was a feeling on her lower abdomen that she had never felt before, His fingers and mouth kept working, he wanted to see the way she was going to crumble, he was desperate for her to come in his mouth, he was drinking her like a man who had found a river in the middle of the desert.  She felt so soft in her mouth that he couldn’t stop himself from biting a bit, it earned him screams, soon she started to shake in pleasure, her hands gripping the bed sheets, as she came undone she screamed his name like a prayer so many times and Feyd didn’t move a muscle, he drank her sweet juice like a submissive servant, who was ready to do whatever she wanted. As she screamed his name he greedily lapped up every drop of her, not wanting to waste a single bit. His desire for her was strong, it was nothing like he experienced before with his former slaves, she was different and every since their first intimate moment he wanted no one but her. She was his, and Feyd wanted to give her more. He climbed up to kiss her, she was still shaking, he could feel her in his mouth, a sweet taste and he wanted her to taste herself so he kissed her  raw. He wanted to envelope her and become one, their bodies glued and she could feel his hard member. A moan escaped his lips, his body was tense with desire, needing her so badly. His fingers were gripping her skin as he leaned in to press his lips on her boob, sucking on the sensitive flesh, he had imagined that in a few months her tits were going to leak with milk, her belly swollen with his child and that image mad his rock hard cock twitch, his eyes were on hers as he sucked on the sensitive flesh, her boobs now more sensitive than ever. ‘’My husband..’’ she moaned and threw her head back. He couldn’t stop himself, her moans driving him wild, hearing her call him ‘’my husband’’ just set his heart racing. He moved back up to kiss her his body pressing against her body, ‘’Mine.’’ He said voice hoarse and ragged. ‘’Yours..’’ she managed to say, his mouth devouring hers, he needed her, he had to have her right in this moment so he place himself between her legs, ‘’You’re mine..’’ he took a moment to look at her under him, legs spread, such a fine delicacy and all for him. He entered her sweet folds slowly, and gave her a moment to adjust, she had forgotten how big and thick he was, it felt like the first time all over again and she gasped, ‘’Shhh’’ he knelt to kiss her cheek, her nose, her chin, he pulled out slowly and moved back in, to the hilt.

(Tumblr said the chapter is too long so i’ll continue the smut on the next one)

Tag list: @superchatnoir07 @mamawiggers1980 @landlockedmermaid77 @moonsoulk @crystalskiesandcherrywine @palomavz @beebeechaos @jeong-uwu @tian-monique @avidreader73 @aleemendoza2425-blog @taleah @oneandonlybbygrl @flower-frog @or-was-it-just-a-dream @howibecameabadassbitch @monstresshorn @keanuispunk @lunerose0 @purplepeach333 @torossosebs @austinbutlerslovers @athanasialove @darlingisntit @aoi-targaryen @alexa4040 @rosegardenpatsu @affabletimelady @mydearbabydoll @sabrinaselina55 @lothiriel9 @missbingu @vikingsbifrost @lechat-rouge

11 months ago

Friends in High Places

Friends In High Places

Author's Note: Hi. I cooked this up in 3.5 hours bc my brain won't shut off. Don't know if I'll make this a chapter thing yet.

Warnings: Descriptions of blood, war + death?, injury. This is a Paul x ofc but there are no physical descriptions as I wanted to keep it as ambiguous as possible. <3

Summary: Paul learns he isn't alone in the war against the Harkonnens and the Emperor's forces.

Paul,

House Atreides still has friends in the palace. Use these gifts as you see fit. Long live the fighters.

Yours,

Imogen

He immediately knows these ships and the weapons they brought are at great cost to you. You may be the emperor's daughter, but he has no doubt you would be punished swiftly for your treason, if you hadn't been already. The thought of you facing the consequences for helping him makes him feel ill. You're strong—much stronger than him and more adept at everything he isn't —but surely even you could be overcome.

He thinks you might be better suited to delivering the Fremen to peace instead of him, but you’re too far away, holed up on Kaitain with your family. You're a mole in the emperor's house, one he can count on but not one he can take advantage of.

He will need to be patient. You will stand behind him when the time comes, but for now, he must wait. Keeping you safe seems a small price to pay, but the Fremen are strong, too. They can handle the costs.

He rereads the letter, committing it to memory before he destroys it. There is nothing to indicate you will be sending more of these deadly gifts, and so he supposes they will have to treat these with care.

***

You too see with more than just your eyes, and you can feel Paul's gratitude across millions of miles during your breakfast with your father and sisters. The warmth of his gratitude washes over your tongue like cream, and you take a sip of ice water to keep yourself from outright grinning and giving yourself away as you listen to Irulan debate with your father the emperor. The ships Paul received were taken off the records, their trackers destroyed, and there are several dozens soldiers and weapons mysteriously missing from the armory and barracks.

All of them loyal to you, all of them fighting for a better life. They believe in Paul's cause, and volunteered to help when you went looking for people you could trust. If they had families, they were relocated in secrecy on Arrakis, close by to their warrior loved ones.

No loose ends this way.

A few of your most trusted guards stayed, their allegiance to you unwavering. They spoke of you taking the throne in Irulan's place, but you didn't want it. The people had known your bloodline for too long. It was time for a new leader and a new beginning. When the time came, you would stand by your friend and voice your support. The great Houses would follow.

They always did.

***

You are beaten in front of the throne when your crimes are discovered. You laugh in the face of your father's personal guard, blood dripping from your broken nose and staining the granite a vibrant red. You're still wearing your clothes in the men's style and you find yourself glad for it when you imagine how much of a nightmare it would be to be caught in blood-sticky chiffon and flowing layers of silk.

"Our house is bathed in the blood of innocents, we are traitors ourselves," You cough loudly as you refer to the betrayal of Leto Atreides, eyes passing over the aristocracy that fills the great hall. "And now we shall pay for it."

You take your small knife from its sheath at your waist, pointing it threateningly towards your own abdomen instead of at your circling adversary. Some people gasp at your boldness; a stomach wound is a death sentence.

"Imogen," Your little sister of four and ten sobs, clutching at Irulan's arm that is braced around her protectively. "Father didn't mean it, please! Just drop it!"

The emperor looks on from his place on the steps leading up to the throne. His eyes are tortured, but you know him—he's playing a part. He'll send you away to exile and then play the grieving father when you are unexpectedly assassinated by someone loyal to the crown.

You'd rather fall into the terrifying maw of the Shai-Halud.

"Drop the knife, Imogen." He says. "No one will harm you further, just drop the knife."

You feel warm blood trickle down the side of your face; you might have a concussion from hitting your head on the granite when you were knocked down. You can also feel pain blooming in your ribs and back from where you were kicked. You don't have much time to waste.

"Clear a path," You spit, feet moving backward. You stretch your mind out to make sure no one is planning on attacking you from behind. "There's nothing left for me to do here. Men, with me!"

Your guards, having been warned to stand by until you gave the order if something like this were to happen, move past your father's soldiers, eyes ablaze with contempt. They form a protective circle around you and one of them, your friend Joel, places his arm around your waist to help your limping form along. A ship with two more men await you, and there are some that stay behind to make sure no one follows you. You lean against Joel and bury your bleeding face in your hands as you leave your friends on the ground, the ship flying high and stirring up dust.

They'll be executed if not tortured for information by morning. You hope they die like warriors instead. It weighs so heavily on you that you barely register someone trying their best to clean your face. Wet cloth comes away pink and drips on the floor.

"Their sacrifice is honorable," Joel says later. "Weep for them, but do not despair. Their deaths are not in vain."

You keep his words at the forefront of your mind as your ornithopter docks with a bigger ship, one that will take you to Arrakis. You fall asleep, exhausted as you wait to arrive on your new home.

***

You are carried off, still unconscious as a doctor looks you over and does what he can. Your nose is set and cuts attended to, and your old clothes burned. Paul sits by your sleeping form, protective of you. You’re vulnerable here, naked body covered in an airy muslin tunic and sheet for modesty's sake. He can see purple blooming underneath the thin material and wishes he could have stopped it.

But the Fremen saw it too—your devotion to their cause. Paul is frequently surprised at their willingness to please him, their Lisan al Gaib. Your well-being has been seen to as staunchly as his own would have been had he asked it of them.

You groan when you finally wake, drawing him to your side. You wince when you try to move over as he sits down on the edge of your bed.

"You've been resting awhile," His voice is a balm over you; you didn't realize how much you missed it until now. "Haven't moved much, either. I'm sure you're sore."

"In more ways than one," You rasp quietly. "The Sardaukar's reputation certainly precedes them."

He brings a handmade cup to your lips and helps you lift your head to drink. The water is cool and soothes your throat in an instant.

"You're lucky you got out."

"Maybe," You lick at a stray droplet at the corner of your mouth, his eyes following the movement. "Or maybe I'm just that good."

The corners of his mouth turn up as he sets the cup back in its spot of a small table next to your bed.

"Maybe." He parrots, looking over your still healing face. Your cuts had closed up and were more of a startling pink instead of an angry red, and your bruises were harder to see under the fabric.

"Can I check something?" He asks, fingers playing with the hem of your tunic. Your eyes blink as you manage a shrug.

"I'm not in much of a position to argue."

He purses his lips. "I won't do it if you'd rather not."

You contemplate that for a moment, grateful he'd even thought to ask your permission. "It's alright."

He fixes you with a look before lifting the muslin up to the underside of your breast, eyes scanning. He gently brushes along the path of the yellow-green marks with the pads of his fingers, making you flinch a bit.

"Sorry," He murmurs, dark curls falling into his face. You fight the urge to tuck them behind his ears. "The healer said to keep an eye on this spot, it's where one of your ribs was cracked."

You feel your face heat up as he pulls the fabric back down, berating yourself for wanting him to continue his gentle touching and pampering. He must have better things to do than look after you.

"Thank you, Paul," You find yourself saying, fingers reaching out for his hand on the bed. "For—looking after me. I didn't mean to put you in this position."

He smiles softly and covers your hand with his other, thumbs stroking over your knuckles affectionately. Even after all this time apart, he was sweet with you. "I don't mind."

"Mm," You sigh, eyes beginning to droop again. "Promise?"

"Promise." He affirms. "Go back to sleep, warrior-princess. I'll be right here."

You murmur something intelligible, probably an old insult, as you succumb to slumber once more. He stays with you as long as he can with his hands stroking your hair before he is called away. He asks that he be notified when you're awake again and ready to eat, but he suspects he'll be back long before then.

Friends In High Places
9 months ago

Not Our First Fan

Not Our First Fan

Summary: Y/N is a friend, but also a fan. Dosing her with a truth serum should reveal if she's a threat, like other fans in the past. But what's revealed surprised them even more.

Characters: Dean x F!Reader, Sam, Castiel, Rowena

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Drugging, First POV/Alternating POV, Smut (Protected Sex, Oral Sex), Mentions of Breeding Kink

WC: 12, 393 (Yikes!)

A/N: Ok, so, over the course of a few months, when I had to take my roommate's kid to speech therapy, I sat in the car in the parking lot and just wrote. A little each time until it grew into this massive and awesome fic, and I am so happy to share it! Feedback is appreciated. : )

My Masterlist

Not Our First Fan

Y/N POV

I sat in stunned silence across the table from Sam and Dean, my eyes flitting between them as I processed what Sam had just said. There was a truth serum in my drink. He had questions and didn’t trust my potential responses.

I hadn’t been with them long, an accident that landed me - a mere fan - in their lives. Although we had become amicable, I never thought they’d use such methods.

“So, what do you want to know?”

I was surprised at my calm tone as I polished off my drink and pushed the glass away. It was already in me; there was no need to be thirsty or sober.

“The truth.”

“Obviously.” I rolled my eyes at Sam before glancing at Dean, who sat silently and watched.

“We have to know; to protect ourselves. Not our first fan.”

I rolled my eyes again. I knew that, too, but it didn’t stop me from feeling offended.

“Is there a question, or…?”

Sam snorted at my attitude. There was no escaping this, so I hoped I could play it like it didn’t scare me or that I had nothing to hide.

“Fine.” He sat up straighter and shook his arms before leaning forward, casually resting his arms on the table as he leveled a heavy gaze at me. “How do you honestly think and feel about me?”

He smirked slightly at my surprised look. I didn’t want to answer, but I could feel the words bubbling up on their own, trying to hold them back, making me sick to my stomach.

“You’re really freakin’ hot. Nice to look at. I would love a night or two to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane. But there’s a lot I don’t like, and I don’t see anything beyond friends because of your issues.”

My eyes widened with every word that fell, and I was mortified when I finished. I couldn’t read Sam, but he seemed equally surprised, smug, and offended. At least it shut him up for a minute. Dean, however, was unchanged and unreadable.

“Well, I guess it’s safe to say it’s working,” Sam huffed humorlessly.  

I wished a hole would open and swallow me up, take me away from this forming shitstorm.

“So,” he leaned forward again, and I already knew what he would ask next. I shook my head, silently begging him not to. “How do you honestly think and feel about Dean?”

God, I fought. My fingers gripped the table, and I shook my head as pained sounds passed through my pressed-shut lips. The word vomit was collecting in the back of my throat to choke me.

"Y/N?" Sam pressed, probably wondering - same as myself - how I was holding back. Dean's shell cracked enough that I could see concern.

“I love and admire him,” I spat, the words painfully and forcefully pulled from me, my heart and mind feeling shredded with each uttered word. “I’m in love with him. I want to show him he is worthy of love and be the one to give it to him. And kids. And the Hunter Pie life. To give him all he ever wanted because he deserves it and more.”

Tears streamed down my face, and I panted to breathe as twin looks of utter shock passed over the brothers.

“Please,” I begged, jumping from my seat. “Please, no more. Don’t do this.”

As they hesitated, I took the opening and ran like hell from the Library to my room. I could hear them shouting as I retreated in horror.

“Don’t. Let her go, Sam.”

“Dean!”

I slammed and locked the bedroom door behind me, then slowly fell into bed, hard sobs wracking my body, and my heart shattered until I passed out.

-

I was determined to forget about it when I woke up. Or, I would do my best to ignore them and continue my usual domestic duties. 

I went to the bathroom and the kitchen to start coffee and breakfast. I liked helping out, and Dean especially seemed appreciative, which only encouraged me. Would that change now? Maybe they’d make me leave because what I said was too awkward.

As I finished cooking, I heard the Bunker door close, meaning Sam must have returned from his morning run and would be heading to the showers. Another door closing alerted me that Dean would be entering the kitchen at any moment seeking coffee.

I sipped from my mug on the island as he shuffled into the room like a half-asleep zombie and poured himself a cup. It took a few gulps before he could open his eyes enough to see me.

“Mornin’,” he spoke gruffly, and I fought back the swoon as usual.

“Mornin’,” I responded. “Uh, there’s breakfast. Help yourself.”

I forced a smile, then grabbed my mug, taking hurried steps desperate to carry me out of the room and away from the man I loved—who now knew I loved him. But that beautiful man was also intelligent and quick and wouldn’t let me get away so quickly.

“Y/N?” He sat down his coffee and stepped closer. “About last night. I’m sorry; that shouldn’t have happened. We… were paranoid and worried it might be like Becky or something all over again, and we just wanted to be sure.”

As he explained, I looked to the ground but nodded to his words. In a way, I got it, but it still didn’t make it okay.

“You never…” he paused and licked his lips. “You never said anything. Never even gave a hint. I mean,” he chuckled, “I really didn’t see that coming.”

“I was never going to say anything,” I admitted, and he looked confused and something else. “I was never going to act on it. It was my secret and my burden. But now it’s all weird, and you probably want me to leave.”

Oh Lord, I couldn’t cry in front of him again!

“Why would I want you to leave?”

His question left me speechless, and I wasn’t sure how best to answer.

“You know,” he moved as he spoke, approaching closer and closer until my back hit the counter, and there was an arm’s length between us. “Women have told me they love me and can picture a life or future with me. But never in this life, never in a hunting life. And none of them, not one, has ever wanted to have my children.”

Okay. Where was he going with this? I was too nervous and scared to move or make a sound. I dared to meet his eyes and instantly regretted it as I felt my heart flutter madly.

“And I have no idea what a Hunter Pie life is,” he chuckled before moving just a few inches before me. “But I’ve been thinking about it all night.”

His words, eyes, and closeness were daring me to do something. But that couldn’t be right. In all my fantasies, I never believed that he would ever entertain the idea. But now… Dean groaned as his phone rang in his pocket, and I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Jody, hey," Dean answered, stepping a few feet away to focus on the call. “Yeah, Okay. Sam and I can be there in a couple of hours. All right, see you soon.”

He hung up and sighed, returning to me as Sam entered the room. We all glanced at each other before Dean cleared his throat.

“Jody and the girls,” Dean tucked his phone back in his pocket. “Got a case, and they need our help. Ready in ten?”

Sam huffed but nodded, giving the food a yearning glance before rushing to pack. Dean lingered, running a hand down his face and flashing a tight smile before heading off to get ready. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or sad, but I was certainly confused.

I rushed through the kitchen, packing up breakfast and some other food for them to take with them. I always tried to give them premade meals in thermal coolers that they could refrigerate or microwave. They seemed to appreciate having home-cooked food while away.

As the brothers loaded their bags, I carried the cooler and a paper bag of immediate consumables to the car. I placed the cooler on the back floorboard before handing Dean the paper bag.

“Thanks,” he grinned, passing the bag to Sam, who immediately started digging through it. I expected him just to climb in and leave, but he paused while fidgeting with his keys.

“Please don’t leave while we’re gone.”

I wasn’t expecting that, but the idea was one of many emotionally driven bad decisions I had been considering.

“We’ll talk,” he promised with a nod. “I’ll text and call, and we’ll talk.”

I nodded and gave the same tight-lipped smile he’d given before. Then, I let out a sigh of relief as they drove away.

-

Dean POV

God, this hunt came at the shittiest possible time. I didn’t want to go. Leaving felt like closing the door on this thing I just discovered. But I didn’t have a choice.

Jody and Claire stumbled on a vamp nest that was the biggest they’d ever seen. It was a giant damn hive. Though she’d called Donna and a few others, it was an ‘all hands on deck’ situation. It didn’t mean I wanted to leave. Something was brewing, changing between Y/N and me. I was terrified it would disappear if I couldn’t tend to it. But if she genuinely meant what she said, then I supposed this could be a test of that. Or maybe even a way to feel it out over text. Face-to-face always made shit complicated and awkward. I was less likely to fuck anything up this way, but still fully capable.

“So,” Sam broke the silence, and my grip tightened on the wheel. “We gonna talk about what happened last night?”

“Sam, I told you to leave it.”

“No, Dean!”

His persistence pissed me off. I didn’t want to get into it with him, but he was on a mission.

“Look, we agreed to give her the serum and question her. We wanted to see what she knew and if she was a threat, like Becky. I thought asking those questions first might be awkward but clear the air. I wasn’t expecting…that.”

“She’s not a threat, Sam.”

“Well, we don’t know that because we didn’t get to ask her anything.”

“What’s really got you so worked up, huh? You mad she’s just not that into you?”

My brother’s annoyed bitchface was satisfying enough to make me smirk. At least he shut up for half a second.

“Don’t you get it?” Sam growled through clenched teeth. “She could be YOUR Becky, Dean. Who knows what she might do if she thinks she loves you.”

My hands wrung the wheel a little harder as I resisted the urge to hit him. I’m unsure why I felt so protective of her then, but I knew she wasn’t like Becky. She wasn’t like any of them, but I couldn’t prove it to him.

“Sam, let me handle this. Please.”

His stunned silence made me glance over to see him gaping like a fish and over-analyzing.

“Yeah. Okay.” He huffed, turning his gaze to the window. I rolled my eyes so hard my head went with it.

“Don’t say ‘Yeah. Okay.’ like…Yeah. Okay.”

“Yeah,” He shrugged, pretending to lose interest in the conversation. “Okay.”

I pressed the pedal harder. Maybe this hunt came at the perfect time. I really needed something to kill.

-

It was a bloodbath: so many vamps and beheadings, so many injured hunters, so many dead or turned victims. Though we cleared the nest with no casualties to our team, it didn’t feel like much of a victory. No one was saved.

There was still celebration and rivalry to be had as we patched each other up and cheered over the mass amount of bloodsucking bastards we killed and future victims we spared.

It was just what I needed to get the itching energy and simmering anger at my brother out of my system. Now buzzed and beat, I only wanted one thing at that moment. As everyone, including my overgrown baby brother, went to bed, I grabbed my beer and quietly wandered outside. I found myself sitting on Baby’s hood and appreciating the quiet and still night. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Y/N. It was late, and she might be asleep, but I needed to hear her voice. 

I’d kept my word, and we’d been texting, but it was mostly to keep her apprised of the hunt. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it or her since those seemingly fateful words tumbled from her lips. As her sleepy voice answered, I felt a flutter in my heart, making me feel like a kid again.

“Dean?” she yawned. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Hunt’s done. Was a ton of them bastards.” I tried to laugh but knew she’d see through it

“Is everyone alright?”

“Little banged up, but we’re all good. No vics to save, though.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was a mess,” I sighed, and a comfortable silence fell between us. I needed a distraction. “You never did tell me about this Hunter Pie life of yours.” I chuckled for real this time, maybe some of it nerves, as I hoped she’d talk to me and open up without a serum. When she giggled, I felt the flutters again.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Just…tell me how it looks. In your mind, how does it go?”

“Wow,” she huffed and chuckled again before clearing her throat. “Um, okay.”

The silence drew out again, and I wondered if she was backing out, but then she continued.

“Okay. Well, I guess I always thought it would be like it is now, you know? Like me cooking and domestic and stuff at the Bunker.”

She ‘always’ thought? I pinned a note in that for later, but I hoped she had more. I hummed to let her know I was listening. She just didn’t know I was hanging on to her every word.

“Family meals where you and Sam tell the kids and me about the hunt. Giving them a normal life and home base while keeping them informed and trained. Hide and seek in the Bunker with Nerf guns and call it a hunt.”

She was laughing, and I could hear her smile as she spoke, mine growing with her tales.

“There are so many scenarios where you could play games with the kids that’s still training. Or just spending time doing normal things.”

It sounded amazing, though I wasn’t entirely convinced it was possible. But hearing and picturing it made me feel infinitely better, among other things.

“And what about us?” I knew I was crossing a line into new territory. Begging her to tell me all this, I knew, was giving her hope—and much-needed hope for me.

“Us?” She echoed, and I grinned at her surprised tone. “I just want to take care of you. To show you that you are worthy and deserve it all and more. To be lucky enough to be in your arms. To give you whatever you need and want. To hold you, listen, patch you up, and watch movies in bed while eating junk food.”

We laughed together, and I had to wipe away a tear. I could see it so clearly. I wished I was there to wrap her in my arms like she described. The WANT that simmered within me was something I’d never felt before.

When she yawned, I felt like an ass, having woken her just to make myself feel better. But it did exactly what I’d hoped.

“I’m sorry; I’m gonna let you get back to bed. It’s late.”

“You sure?” 

She seemed disappointed, and I was, too. But we both needed sleep and the sooner I got that, the quicker I’d return to her.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Sooner I sleep, the sooner I can get home.”

I hadn’t meant to say that, but her soft chuckle made it worthwhile.

“I’ll be waiting.”

We said our goodnights and hung up. She’d be waiting for me, for us to begin. I just needed a couple of hours of sleep, and then I’d push Baby to her limits to get back home as quickly as possible.

-

Y/N POV

What the fuck was that? What just happened? I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes but couldn’t fight the tiredness pulling me back under.

When I woke up again, I felt good and refreshed. Then I remembered the call from the night before. I dove for my phone on the nightstand to find a text from Dean.

Dean: Heading out soon. See you in a few hours. ;)

It had already been nearly two hours since he’d sent the text. I jumped out of bed in a panic, knowing there wasn’t much time before they’d return. Did he even sleep?

I rushed to shower and dress before going to the kitchen and making coffee. I wasn’t sure how much time I had, but I knew Sam and Dean would be hungry.

I tried to focus on cooking, but I kept replaying our conversation from the night before. And what was with the winky face? Did last night mean something, or did he need comfort after a lousy hunt? The things I said—how could I look him in the eye?

When the roar of the Impala entering the garage sounded through the Bunker, I fought the urge to run and hide. Just…act NORMAL.

“Damn, it smells good in here.”

I turned to see Sam and Dean entering the kitchen with big smiles. However, they both looked like they’d had their asses handed to them on that hunt. 

“We’re fine,” Dean answered, my concern written on my face. This was gonna be harder than I thought.

“I figured y’all would probably be hungry.”

“He’s always hungry,” Sam teased as he made a plate. I was glad he seemed to ease the tension I was choking on.

“Just glad that’s all over,” Dean responded, joining Sam at the table.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay,” I told them before slinking to my room to hide like a coward.

Just as I thought, I couldn’t look either of them in the eye. What if they talked about it, about me? Of course, they did. Were things just going to be unbearably awkward now? How long could I pretend and hide?

Turns out, not long at all.

“Hey, Y/N?”

Dean knocked on the partially open door before opening it and stepping inside the room.

“Hey, Dean. Need something?”

Yeah, just keep it cool—really chill.

“Yeah,” he grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. Wait, was he nervous? “I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie in my room or something.”

This really was happening.

“Netflix and chill?” I teased and laughed, watching his tension ease. “That’s your play?”

“Well, you’re the one who mentioned it in our planned future,” he teased back, and my confidence faltered for a minute.

“I thought you might want to get some sleep. It didn’t seem you got much between our call and that text.”

“Then we’ll watch and nap,” he shrugged, taking my hand and guiding me to his room. And, of course, I went willingly, following him in a trance and soaking up the warmth of his touch.

Once in his room, he released my hand to set up something on the TV. I sat on the end of the bed, hands in my lap as I awkwardly tried to figure out what to do and how to act. He kicked off his shoes and flannel, leaving him in jeans and a t-shirt before dramatically flopping onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard.

“Come here?” he asked as he patted the space beside him.

“‘Kay,” I grinned and eagerly slid beside him, smiling harder as his arm settled around my shoulders, tucking me into his side.

I had dreamed and fantasized about this moment - as simple and innocent as it may be - so many times, and now it was a reality. I was more than surprised that his reaction to my truth was desire. But if he genuinely gave me a chance, I was determined to give him everything I said and more. Whatever he wanted, I was prepared to give.

-

Dean POV

It had been years since I’d done something as simple as cuddling and watching a movie. It felt intimate and special. As she quoted a line from the film, eating some junk food I’d laid out, I wondered if it was a djinn dream or a spell.

I wasn’t a blind fool, much as Sam tried to insist I was. I knew she was a fan, and we didn’t know much about her, which was why I agreed to the serum to begin with.

But I’d observed her plenty in her time with us. She was kind and helpful and an artist in the kitchen. She was a natural caregiver. She was funny and charming. She was super bright, too, with how she spoke, things she knew, and how easily she took to research - which she also happened to be great at. It didn’t hurt she was hot as fuck, but she had no clue.

Then, learning she was in love with me sent my mind reeling. I wasn’t a total idiot - letting this, her, pass me by would be the dumbest thing ever. I had to try, take a chance, or regret it forever.

She noticed when I glanced at her, turning her head to meet my eyes. Letting the moment sweep me away, I leaned in, pleasantly surprised when she slowly met me in the middle. My eyes fluttered, and I hummed at the sweet little spark that tingled my lips. I tilted my head, kissing her a little harder, more sure. She responded in kind, and that spark shot down my spine.

Cupping her jaw, I titled her head as I ran my tongue along the seam of her lips, begging her to open to me. I needed to taste her as much as I needed my next breath.

When she parted her lips, a gentle moan spilled forth. When my tongue slipped past her lips and tasted her soft, warm tongue, a responding moan was ripped from my chest. She tasted divine. Her tongue chased after my own, but I could feel her restraint. She was holding back; I knew it was because she was unsure, not in her feelings or wanting me. Instead, she didn’t know what I was after, too afraid to push forward and break the spell.

I pulled back, intent on breaching the topic, but a knock at my door broke the trance. Stupid Sam and his lousy timing. Another firm series of knocks had me rolling my eyes and groaning. Reluctantly, I released Y/N and opened the door; Sam was surprised to see her on the bed behind me.

“Hey, do you have a minute?” he asked, casting her a wary glance. I stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind me, following him a few feet down the hall.

“What, Sam?”

-

Sam POV

I wanted to talk to Dean about Y/N and this whole situation. I wasn’t expecting to find her in Dean’s bed with flushed cheeks. This whole thing was quickly spinning out of control.

“Het, got a minute?”

I didn’t want to have this conversation with Y/N around. Luckily, Dean closed the door and followed me down the hall.

“What, Sam?”

“What are you doing?”

“Sam, I told you-”

“No, Dean. We don’t know what her game is. She could have done a spell or made a deal. And you’re in there feeding her little fantasy.”

My older brother was incredibly defensive. He stood tall and stubborn with his arms crossed, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to hit me.

“Look,” Maybe changing tactics would get him to see reason. I didn’t want to see him taken advantage of for the sake of some crazy fanatics’ whims. “All I’m saying is let’s look into her and this more. Talk to Cas, maybe Crowley or Rowena. Just…make sure it’s, you know, legit.”

As Dean slightly relaxed, I saw I was finally getting through to him. Y/N was nice to have around, but my paranoia wouldn’t rest until I was confident she wouldn’t cause us harm.

“Fine,” Dean agreed in a huff, his arms dropping to his sides. “Call Cas or whatever, do your research. Meanwhile, I’m going back to her and enjoying what I KNOW is real.”

Neither of us expected to see Y/N standing in the open doorway. I wasn’t sure how much she’d heard, but she looked hurt and determined.

“I’m gonna go to my room. Let you all figure this out.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s okay, Dean. Sam’s right; you can’t be sure, and I want you to be sure.”

She left the hall and went to her room. I was relieved and also incredibly guilty. That could be part of her plan. But as Dean turned back to face me, I again worried he’d throw a punch.

“You get what you wanted,” Dean spat through gritted teeth.

“Dean, I’m just looking out for you. You did the same thing with Becky, and it was for the best.”

He nodded but silently returned to his room, slamming the door loud enough to make me jump. I’d call Cas and Rowena to get to the bottom of this.

-

I stood in the Bunker’s library two days later with Y/N, Dean, Castiel, and Rowena. Except, all eyes were pointed at me with varying expressions.

While Dean was against it, Y/N allowed Cas and Rowena to poke, prod, and pry at her and her mind, searching for anything unusual. But there was nothing. According to Cas and Rowena - who both looked at me with pained sympathy - her love for Dean was pure and true, the real deal and soul-deep.

Dean looked at me with smugness and contempt. I knew he was feeling so damn righteous. But Y/N - she looked defeated and heartbroken. I knew I was an ass, but I couldn’t help feeling something was still off. If she knew all the horrible details of our lives and the many things we’d done - why the hell would she love either of us? Especially my love-em-and-leave-em brother?

“Are we done?” Y/N spoke, standing tall, but I could see the tears in her eyes and the waver in her voice. “Can I go?”

-

Y/N POV

After two whole days of being ripped open and exposed, working to prove myself in ways I never intended, I was more than done. I wanted to be thrilled at meeting the angel and the witch, but the circumstances left me feeling violated in many ways.

“Are we done? Can I go?”

I didn’t wait for a response, turning and heading for my room before the tears fell. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I didn’t even leave the library before a hand grabbed my arm.

“Y/N, wait,” Dean pleaded. I turned to him, and a single tear escaped to stream down my face.

“I just want to go. To forget any of this ever happened.”

“You could do that?” Dean asked, and my heart clenched at the hurt on his face. “Forget it?”

“No, but I have to,” I pulled slowly from his touch, already missing it.

“We can do this; we can make it work,” he insisted, and I shook my head and laughed, though it was without humor.

“THIS wouldn’t have happened if you two hadn’t snuck a truth serum in my drink. Sam questioned me, ripping my secrets from me, doubting me entirely. And you…you did nothing. Sam is the most important person in your life. If he’s not on board, it will never work.”

He didn’t say anything, but my words struck a chord. He didn’t try to stop me when I retreated a second time. While I was grateful, it also hurt. At least nothing more than a kiss happened. It might be easier to recover.

-

Dean POV

Hurt and anger were all I could feel. I understood Y/N’s position somewhat, though it hurt that she’d turn away. I turned to face my brother, all my anger directed at him.

“Are you happy now?” I shouted at him, and he dared to appear surprised. “This is your fault.”

“Dean, I’m just-”

“Looking out for me? Yeah, I know. But why does it feel like you’re jealous?”

“Whoa, I’m not-”

“You’re both daft fools,” Rowena spoke as she busied herself with tidying the items on the table.

“Excuse me?” Sam and I spoke at the same time.

“You two have put that poor lass through hell trying to find the truth. A truth that’s pure love. And while you act like you want it, you’ve done nothing. You let Sam question and doubt her. And she’s right; it’ll never work if Sam doesn’t support it because you two are so grossly intertwined. And you, Samuel,” she turned her fiery attention to Sam, and I felt a little scared for him. “You’re so busy thinking her love is undeserved that you must find a reason it can’t be real.”

“Undeserved?” I looked at my brother; his silent shame told me all I needed. “That’s it, right?”

“Dean, come on. How could someone know everything we’ve done and still love us—love you? I mean, love and relationships aren’t your thing. Don’t you think maybe someone or something is behind this?”

“Sam,” Castiel chimed in to chastise my brother.

I couldn’t look at him any longer, or I would kick his ass. I took off to my room. I wanted to go after Y/N, to beg for forgiveness, but I knew I couldn’t go to her as angry as I was, and she needed space, too. As I realized I may have genuinely lost this before I even got to glimpse it, I felt my lips tingle with the phantom press of her lips to mine. I’d just have to wait to let her come to me. I hoped she still wanted to and that Sam would get his head out of his ass.

-

Sam POV

Several weeks had passed since this whole truth serum mess with Y/N, and I was left feeling like a complete dick.

After Cas and Rowena checked her over, we all went our separate ways. Things in the Bunker seemed to go back to how they were, except no one talked to each other outside of pleasantries or necessity.

My brother would glare at me or make a snide remark to ensure I knew he was pissed. He felt I ruined everything, and maybe he was right. Y/N still cooked and cleaned and helped with research. But she didn’t make eye contact or small talk or linger. She didn’t eat with us or stay in the room for long. It made Dean more bitter every day.

I knew I had let my paranoia and fear get the better of me, and maybe I was a little bit jealous. Out of the two of us, I was the one who was only worth a good time? But as I reflected on her time with us and her interactions with Dean, I realized how much they had in common and enjoyed each other's company—even without romance mixed in.

I had to figure out how to make this right for both of them. I just had to convince Y/N I was sorry and wrong and that she and Dean should try to be together. Then Dean would forgive me, and all would be right again.

-

Dean POV

Sam had tried talking to me and apologized. I was grateful but still pissed. He swore he’d try to make things right, but I asked him not to. She hadn’t made eye contact or spoken any friendly words since Sam - no, since WE - had Cas and Rowena check her.

Sam was right; I didn’t deserve her. And I was heartbroken at her distance, her change in demeanor. I knew she was deeply hurt. As pissed as I was at Sam, I was even more so at myself. I did nothing to stand up for or defend her against the tests. I was just as guilty.

She would never have said anything. I never would have known had we not drugged her. I wanted to be mad about that, too, and was to a degree. Was this all some test, or were Sam and I destined to destroy everyone who crosses our path and dares to care about us?

The point may be to fight. But if I really wanted it, why wasn’t I trying harder?

I overheard the two of them in the kitchen the other night. However, it was mostly Sam, as she still didn’t seem to be in a chatty mood. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, and maybe I should have let them know I was there, but curiosity got the better of me.

Just like with me, he was apologizing to her. But he was also practically BEGGING her to give me another chance. He swore he was on board and supported it - hell, he was full-on dreaming for it to happen now. She thanked him for his apology and said no more.

I didn’t know what to do. But I knew Sam was okay with us, and I wanted to find out what ‘us’ even looked like.

-

Y/N POV

Sam had been giving me whiplash. One day, he was utterly suspicious of me, then he ignored me, and now he’s practically begging me to give Dean a chance—as if I’d been the one rejecting him. I didn’t know what to do.

While I was glad they’d both apologized, I was still hurt. I tried my best to see things from their side: how this might all seem a rational way to go about things or why they were so paranoid. But my pain and embarrassment kept me quiet, just trying to make it day by day while focusing on business as usual. Maybe we’d all move on and put this whole thing behind us.

Until then, I had to do my best to maintain a sense of routine in the Bunker for their sakes. And I wasn’t going to hide away in my room moping either.

This is how I found myself in the library, reading a book as Sam sat on the opposite side with his laptop. I didn’t know if he was researching or looking for a case, but I did know I was pretty irritated that, with many other tables and chairs, he chose to sit across from me.

I tried to focus on the book but scanned the words more than I read them. I was aware of Sam constantly looking at me as if he had something to say before hastily looking back at his screen. I pretended not to notice until I stiffened at the sound of Dean’s approach.

I wanted to run and hide every time he entered the room, afraid he’d catch my longing looks or hear how fast my heart beat when he passed close enough to touch and smell. I could still feel his kiss and the warmth of his hand on my cheek as he held me sweetly. I tried to control it, but now that he knew, I felt so exposed, as if he could sense my every thought. It was a bit unnerving.

I tried to focus on my book as Dean concentrated on his brother, who leaned back in his chair to give him his attention.

“Garth needs backup on a hunt,” Dean announced, and I relaxed, knowing they’d likely leave soon.

“Okay,” Sam stood from his chair, gathering his laptop. “Meet at the car in ten?”

Sam began walking away before Dean’s voice made him stop.

“Uh, actually,” Dean rubbed the back of his neck and smirked at his brother. “You and Garth should be able to handle it. Baby needs some maintenance anyway.”

Sam - to his credit and that annoying silent communication of theirs - paused only a moment before seeming to decide.

“Yeah, okay,” he responded quickly and eagerly, making me look at him directly.

He flashed me a smile before continuing his retreat from the room. The quiet, along with being alone with Dean, was sending my anxiety through the roof. He turned to face me, and - Lord, help me - I couldn’t even pretend to care about the book as our eyes met for the first time in what felt like ages.

“So,” he grinned as he slid into the seat Sam had just vacated, refusing to break the locked gaze. “Are you hungry? We could order pizza or go to a place in town or something.”

Okay, so he was waving a white flag. I could get behind that, and I was definitely hungry.

-

Dean POV

“You hungry? We could order pizza or go to a place in town or something?”

She relaxed, but I could see she was still apprehensive. I hated this awkward silence and distance, which hung like a dark cloud over everything. She had confessed her love, both with the serum and without. She spoke about our potential lives, which left me craving. But I hadn’t done much to show my want, to fight for it like she had done.

When Garth called about a case, I saw an opportunity. I would put on my A-game and fight for this, for us.

“Uh, okay. Yeah, sure,” she forced a smile, but I met it with a genuine one.

“Great,” I answered, standing from my seat and gesturing for her to follow. I was only slightly surprised that she did.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Whatever you want is fine.”

Whatever I want? I grinned and fought back the chuckle as she followed me to Baby in the garage.

“I thought Baby needed work?”

I did laugh then as we settled in the front seat of my car.

“Yeah, I sort of wanted an excuse to be alone with you.”

“Oh.”

She blushed and bashfully looked away. I bit my lip and started the car, driving us into town. If she didn’t care where we went, I knew a place on the edge of town with great burgers, cheap beer, good music, and pool tables. I’d be in my element and could pull my best moves. I was intent on wooing her, and this was usually how I succeeded with others. 

She was not anything like the others at all. She was so much more, from her looks to her body to her mind and heart. As we parked outside the roadhouse, I wondered if this place was the best idea.

Her soft smile was encouraging. As we went inside, my hand hovered over her lower back, guiding her through the crowd to an empty table in the middle of the room. It allowed me to watch everything, and I felt even more on guard than usual with her there.

I watched tentatively as she sat across from me, her eyes scanning the surroundings before landing back on me with a shy smile.

“I hope this is okay. We can go somewhere else if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, this is great!”

She seemed genuinely happy to be there, and I relaxed. The waitress came and took our orders, and I was pleased to hear Y/N talk more than she had been recently. I guess now was a good time to speak with her about what’s been on my mind.

“Look, Y/N…I want you to know that I am so damn sorry.”

She met my eyes then, and I swallowed hard.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened, that I let happen. We shouldn’t have pried. I’m so sorry you got hurt and exposed and that I didn’t stand up for you.”

She dropped her gaze to the table, tensing up again, and it felt like that beautiful door of opportunity was closing. I needed her to interact with me. Anything was better than the distance and empty pleasantries. At this point, I didn’t care if she flirted or screamed at me.

The waitress returned our order, and I thanked her. Y/N was focused on her food.

“I’m not sorry that I know. In fact, I’m a little pissed you were never gonna tell me.”

I took a bite from my burger and was waiting for her reaction. She stared at me with narrowed eyes before clearing her throat.

“What, I’m just supposed to come out and say it? Even though there was barely a friendship between us?”

She scoffed and returned to eating. But I was frozen, caught up in her choice of words.

“What do you mean ‘was’?”

Had she given up? Has she decided we weren’t worth it? That I wasn’t worth it?

-

Y/N POV

“What do you mean ‘was’?”

The pain in his tone made my heart clench. I didn’t mean to imply we weren’t anymore, but it didn’t feel like we were.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He accepted it, and we ate in comfortable silence. When the waitress returned to clear the table, Dean settled the bill but asked to start a tab for drinks. When a whiskey shot was set before me, I clanked with Dean’s and knocked it back, taking it for the peace offering it was.

“Thank you for apologizing. I can understand why you two felt you needed to do those things. I just wish you would’ve asked.”

“So if Sam asked how you felt about me, without the serum, what would you have said?”

“I would have said I respect and admire you.”

“But not that you love me? Why?”

I had a feeling he’d ask that at some point. I huffed a breath and chewed my lip as I chose my words.

“Because I’m not worthy. If I never say anything, I never have to face your rejection, which would hurt, and it’d hurt you to see me hurt ‘cause you just care that much.”

I guess I didn’t need a serum. The big secret was out, and I told Dean all about our fantasy lives. At least if I kept truthing, I’d know if he truly accepted me.

“But I didn’t reject you, Y/N.”

I met Dean’s eyes, seeing how open he was, letting me see his truth. The intensity I found there made me gasp a little.

“I did hurt you, and seeing that hurt me,” he continued. Reaching across the table, he held one of my hands. “But I didn’t reject you. In fact,” his grip tightened, and a flirty smirk adorned his luscious lips. “I can’t stop thinking about you. About our future. About that damn kiss.” He laughed, and I nodded my agreement because I felt the same.

“Hey folks, can I get you another round?”

The waitress returned, and I jumped. Dean held my hand, which was firm but gentle, and smiled at her.

“Yes, please. Two shots, two beers. Thanks,” he said, placing a nice tip on her tray, and she left with a smile. It always warmed me how he could be so charming, even without a trace of flirting. His keeping ahold of my hand sent my heart into a frenzy. Maybe I wasn’t reading enough into all of this, which had me chuckling aloud just as our next round arrived.

“What should we drink to?” Dean asked as we held our shots.

I put on my best flirty smirk and clinked my glass with his.

“To second chances?” I suggested, hoping he’d pick up and accept my insinuations.

“I’ll drink to that!”

We threw back our shots and spent moments looking at each other and smiling.

-

Dean POV

It felt almost like making a deal, but one I’d gladly make again and again. I’d never experienced this feeling. It was as if I was embarking on an exciting adventure, eager to learn everything about this person and savor and enjoy every morsel of her being that she was willing to feed me.

I did my best to shut out the dark voice in my mind, telling me it couldn’t last. Either I’ll fuck it up, or she’ll leave, or - God forbid - she dies. That tiny black hole within me was itching to devour all the happiness around me.

But in her presence, it grew quieter and easier to manage. Even before her confessions, I witnessed how kind and caring she was, her compassion providing comfort. She was nurturing, even in the way I imagined a loving mother would be. I don’t remember. But she was like soft candlelight shining amidst the pitch black within my mind.

“How about a game of pool?” I suggested, seeing some open tables. I could show off a little and maybe get a chance to get close to help her line up a shot.

“Okay,” she agreed, taking my hand when I offered it.

I was reluctant to let her go, but I had to set up a game. Basic eight-ball was fine with me and didn’t take much thought.

“I know how to play, but I’m not very good,” she admitted. I bit my lip to contain my excitement about helping her.

“No worries. It's just a fun game. No pressure. But I could show you some things if you want.”

“Eager to bend me over the table, huh?” She laughed, and I was initially shocked. But if she was ready to ‘play,’ then game on, Babygirl.

As we started the game, she was focused, analyzing angles and trying her best. I, however, was focused on her. The way she moved, thought, and bent like a dancer to take her shots, Her whole body was lithe and curvy, stretching like a cat. I noticed, too, that she was ambidextrous. With some practice and pointers, she’d be outstanding. She had a natural skill but wasn’t used to playing.

I went back to admiring her as her plump ass was on display as she bent for a shot and missed. The pout that followed made me want to kiss it away. She was effortlessly sexy, and she had no fucking clue.

“You ready to head back?” I asked after finishing a game. I was ready to be alone with her again, if only to kiss her senseless.

“Sure,” she grinned, placing her hand in mine before I could reach for her.

I grinned like a fool as I paid our tab and led her outside. But we were stopped by a storm, with rain falling thick and fast.

“Race you to the car?” she grinned before dashing into the downpour to the Impala at the back corner of the lot. She was crazy but beautiful.

Grinning again, I ran into the rain to take her hand as we ran to the car together, laughing the whole way.

-

Y/N POV

I dashed out into the rain, feeling giddy and playful. I was high on the night I was having. I had been entirely aware of Dean’s eyes on me - and quite a few other’s eyes - but I tried not to think about it and just be normal.

With my spirits high and being a bit drunk, I felt brave.

“Race you to the car?”

I took off, half expecting him to chastise me. But when he took my hand and ran with me, laughing the whole way, my heart soared. I felt free, alive, and blessed to share it with Dean, the man I loved.

Dean released my hand to get his keys and open the door as we got to the car. I was mesmerized by watching his hand and fingers work, wet from the rain.

“Get in,” he gestured, and I quickly moved, sliding across the bench to the passenger’s side.

“We’re gonna have to wait ‘til it calms down a little. I can’t see much in this.”

I didn’t think about that when running through the downpour. Dean turned on the car only to turn on the heat, and the radio was low on some classic rock station. I couldn’t help but look at him and admire how handsome he was and how that was accentuated by being drenched. It was giving me wicked thoughts, and with my inhibitions lowered, I knew I wasn’t hiding it well.

I shamelessly ogled him as he shed his jacket and overshirt, leaving him in a t-shirt. He tossed the wet clothes in the backseat before looking at me to find me attentively watching his every move. His eyes trailed slowly down my body and back up again. My breathing picked up as my heart raced. He licked his lower lip into his mouth and released it. I think I moaned a little.

“Y/N.”

Dean broke the silence, the rain still pounding hard outside. We leaned towards each other, and his hand cupped my cheek as our lips met. It was just as good as before, though I wondered if I’d imagined it.

His tongue ran gently across my lip, and I felt a flutter between my legs. I opened for him and melted as his tongue met mine. I let him lead, knowing he was used to this, but I hadn’t been with anyone in a while and hadn’t made a habit of hooking up or even taking chances. I was worried I might be out of practice, but I felt encouraged by his sounds and actions.

He pulled back, ending the kiss far too soon for my liking, and I may have whined a little. He chuckled, and I pouted. He leaned in with a groan, sucking my lower lip before kissing me soundly.

I felt like I was in trouble, but in a very sexy way. It was a little confusing. But I was quickly sobering as I realized where this was heading. At least, I hoped.

-

Dean POV

Goddamn, this woman would surely kill me - but what a way to go. I was ready to make her mine here and now, and I was almost sure she’d let me. But she deserved better than that. As sappy as it may be, I wanted our first time together in a bed - specifically MY bed - so I could take my time and make it memorable. Special.

If things go the way I hope, it will be our last first time. I had more than a good feeling about this, and I was ready to do whatever was necessary to have her in my life.

How did I get so damn lucky, so fortunate to have this woman in love with me?

The rain was still coming down, but it had lessened enough that I was confident in getting us home safely. And I NEEDED her home, even if it was only to make out all night.

“Let me get you home,” I whispered, stealing another kiss.

“Well, you’ll have to stop kissing me to do that.”

I kissed her again, and she chuckled as I began to drive. I wanted her closer, tucked into my side, but I knew I needed to focus on the road. The sooner I got her home, the sooner I could touch and kiss her again.

I somehow managed to pull safely into the Bunker’s garage despite Y/N’s gaze devouring me the whole ride. As my cock swelled painfully against my zipper, I prayed to God we were on the same page. I’d be fine if she wasn’t ready. But I was about to burst at just the thought of her.

As soon as I parked the car, I turned to her. She grinned and leaned in to kiss me again. I grabbed at her, holding her close to me as I poured myself into the kiss, letting her taste my desire. 

She straddled my lap with little encouragement, and I wrapped my arms around her to press our bodies together, our hungry kisses unbroken. I grabbed a handful of her hair and gently tugged her head back as my kisses moved along her jaw. When I reached behind her ear, I gave a little kitten lick. Her body jerked and ground against my lap, making me hiss as the zipper pressed against my painfully hard cock.

-

Y/N POV

I could feel how hard he was, his hands as hungry as his mouth. I felt bold knowing there was no rejection waiting, only want. I pulled from the kiss and held his face in my hands.

“Dean, take me to bed?”

I was practically sober now, and so was he. I looked him in the eye, letting him know I meant it.

“Are you sure?” He asked, which surprised me. “I don’t want to rush you or make you feel like I expect anything. If you’re not ready, that’s okay. I can wait. You’re worth waiting for.”

I felt like I would cry, but the patience and understanding he exhibited made me even more sure. I kissed him slow and deep, pulling back to meet his eyes again.

“Take me to bed, Dean.” I realized how that might sound, even if my tone was soft. “Please.”

That seemed to spur him to action. As he devoured my mouth again, I filed it as a note for later. He set me back on the seat and climbed out of the car, offering his hand, which I accepted.

He smoothly pulled me from the car, closed the door, and pressed me against it in what felt like one move. The desire and hunger I saw in his eyes were almost intimidating. He kissed me senseless, his hands on my hips as he pressed his weight into me. He was so strong and capable that it only turned me on more.

“Your room or mine?” I asked, feeling confident enough to be sultry.

“Oh, Baby,” he grinned, unable to go long without kissing me. “I want you in my bed so bad.”

I chuckled and nodded, letting him lead me through the halls to his room.  Once the door shut, he pressed me against it like in the garage. I could hardly believe this was happening, but I was so damn eager for it. His hands pushed my shirt up, and I let him remove it. He made quick work of my bra, and the cool air had my nipples hardening. He dove in with a hum, taking a nipple in his mouth and flicking with his tongue. My knees buckled, and I was grateful for his firm grip on my hips.

He moved to my other nipple and repeated his actions, ripping a loud moan from me as my hips bucked in his hold.

“You’re so sensitive and responsive,” he praised as he removed his t-shirt.

-

Dean POV

She was so beautiful, and her sounds were the sweetest music. She was so desperate and needy, her body reaching into my every touch, even if she wasn’t fully aware.

I felt frenzied, eager to take, feel, and claim. I had to force myself to calm down. I wanted to savor this, to drag it out, and make it as good as possible for both of us.

I reluctantly pulled back, just enough to kick off my shoes and remove the rest of my clothes. She looked at me with pure lust, panting as she mimicked my actions. My hands rushed as she became revealed to me.

As soon as we were both bare, she was pressed against me, seeking another kiss, which I was too happy to provide. Our hands were gentle and cautious as we explored every line, curve, and dip of each other, our lips and tongues dancing together. While I was no doubt aroused - my cock throbbing and pinned between us - her warmth and softness calmed me in a way I hadn’t felt in years.

I started walking backward, bringing her with me. I sat on the edge of the bed, intent on pulling her into my lap, wanting her close, but she seemed to have other ideas.

She slowly lowered to her knees, cupping my cheek with one hand, the other wrapping around my cock as she kissed me passionately, more dirty than any other before. She stroked me firm but slow, and when she ran her thumb over the head, I moaned into her mouth.

She pulled back with a grin and gently pushed me back with a hand on my chest until I was propped on my elbows, unwilling to take my eyes off her. She seemed just as intent as me to slow down, drag it out, as she kissed and locked along my lower stomach and hips, nipping lightly here and there, making me jump and groan.

“Not the only one sensitive and responsive,” she teased back at me, nosing along the crease of my thigh, turning her head to nip at the tender inner flesh of my thigh.

“Y/N!”

It was half shock, half desperate arousal. She was driving me insane. She gave in, licking from the base of my cock to the head, tonguing around the rim. My head dropped back, and that was the moment she took me in her warm, wet mouth with a tight suction that already had me embarrassingly close to coming.

She pulled off to tease me some more, and I seized the opportunity, sitting up and swiftly pulling her to straddle my lap. Before she could catch her breath, I turned and lifted her, smoothly laying her back on the bed, her legs wrapped around me, holding me close.

She gasped and laughed, making me chuckle along with her. God, this was a beautiful moment.

“I’ve never been manhandled like that. Surprised me,” she admitted shyly.

I laughed again and kissed her soundly.

“A night of firsts then,” I teased, kissing her deep and rutting my aching cock through her surprisingly damp folds. I was happy to know she was just as aroused as me.

As we drowned in kissing, I trailed my hand down her body and between her legs. I ran a finger over her clit before circling her entrance and sliding inside.

“So damn wet already,” I spoke against her lips, eager to swallow down her moans. “Bet I could just slide right in.”

Fuck, I couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t thinking, only feeling as I adjusted my hips, grabbing my cock and sliding inside her. She was so tight and warm, and I could feel how deep I was. I had to stay still and catch my breath, or it’d all be over too soon. She was trembling around me, and I just wanted to make her come over and over.

-

Y/N POV

Dean was inside me, buried deep and nestled against my cervix. It was delicious, and I was hyper-aware of our every connection: our underbelly brushing, his hips against my inner thighs, chest-to-chest, and panted breaths shared from barely grazing mouths.

He pulled back slowly and slid in again, smooth and gentle. I felt like my heart would explode or I might burst into tears. He increased his speed only a little, kissing along my neck and chest. I marveled at feeling him, so long and thick and impossibly hard, fucking into me gently but with purpose.

Then, my rational mind began to speak up, reminding me he was bare inside me. I clenched and moaned, fighting back my breeding kink.

“Dean, wait,” I pushed gently at his shoulders, and he went still.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I promised, pecking his lips to reassure him. “But we need a condom. I’m not on birth control.”

He seemed to pause and think before nodding and slowly pulling out. As he moved from the bed to retrieve a condom, I wondered if I’d upset him. He sheathed himself and crawled back on the bed, and I opened my legs to welcome him. But he didn’t go for it right away.

His hand slid along my thigh, up my side, and cupped my cheek, his eyes searching mine.

“What had you clenching and moaning so hard?”

I could feel the heat in my cheeks. I also knew he was intelligent and experienced and had probably figured it out.

“My…my breeding kink.”

I mumbled the words in embarrassment but felt compelled to be honest. His pupils dilated, and he captured my lips hungrily as he slid within me again, with no hesitation and no resistance. He was so thick I could still feel every bit of him through the condom, his girth stretching me deliciously, making me wriggle my hips impatiently.

-

Dean POV

Fuck, hearing her say the words ‘breeding kink’ might have been the sexiest thing I ever heard. That’s something I’d be chewing on for a while.

I slid back inside her, and she let a sigh. I felt relief at being connected again, too. I could still feel her walls squeezing around me, but I wished I could feel her bare again. The primal side of me awakened, wanting to make her mine and breed her full.

Instead, I focused on her face and her reactions as I moved. I kept our bodies close, nearly all of us touching, which was way more intimate than I was used to. It only added to the many moments that made this an extraordinary connection. I had to remind myself it was only the start, the first time of what I hoped to be countless others.

As I picked up my pace, I could tell she was getting close. My thumb found her clit, and I rubbed tight circles in time with my thrusts. Her breathing sped up, and I could tell she was holding back.

“Wanna feel you come,” I told her, leaning in to kiss her ear and whispering as I kept moving within her. “Imagine me bare inside you, ready to fuck you full.”

I felt her clench hard before she moaned out her release, her hands digging into my ass as she held me deep. I did my best to grind against her and ride out her high. She was fucking gorgeous, and I was nowhere near done with her.

In another practiced move, I rolled to my back, taking her with me, my cock never leaving her tight and drenched pussy. Still coming down from her high, she kissed me sloppy before sitting up straight. My cock slid deeper, and we moaned together as I held her hips and encouraged her to ride me.

-

Y/N POV

My head was light, my body tingling from the incredible orgasm. I usually stopped at one, but the feel of Dean was too good to give up. He wanted more from me, and I wanted to give it.

I sat up straight, my hands on his abs for leverage. He was so deep it was almost too much. When I began to move my hips, I was intent on giving as good as I got. But it was so incredible it quickly became about me: what I wanted to feel and how. Luckily, he was enjoying it just fine.

I was about to lean down and kiss him, but he sat up, wrapping his arms around me. I held his gaze as I rode him, slowly and intentionally clenching my walls to massage his shaft.

He snarled and kissed me hard, his thumb rubbing my clit again. I was surprised how quickly my second orgasm was creeping up on me, but I was hungry for it, and so was he.

“Dean!”

I couldn’t help but shout for him - at him - I wasn’t sure. A second later, I was coming, riding him hard through my high as he focused his attention on my breasts.

God, I was drained and sweaty, barely able to catch my breath, my body spasaming and pussy throbbing. I didn’t even notice he’d sat forward, laying me back on the bed, still hard and inside me as he lavished my breasts and nipples with teeth and tongue.

I knew he hadn’t come yet and was starting to get concerned. Maybe I couldn’t keep up with him? Maybe it wasn’t as good for him? I thought it was the best I’d ever had, but he was more experienced. But I couldn’t get my brain to form words.

I ran my hands through his hair and over his back, and he hummed at the touch. I wiggled my hips, reminding us both that he hadn’t come yet and was hard as a rock.

“Dean?” I urged him from my chest and met his eyes. “Wanna feel you come.”

I wiggled my hips again as much as I could in this position: my ass on his lap and back lightly bowed.

“M’close,” he spoke against my lips. “How do you want it?”

God, that was so sexy. But I was determined to make this good for him, too.

“Whatever you want. Anything!”

-

Dean POV

She felt so goddamn good. I wasn’t sure how I’d been able to hold back coming all this time. I wanted to make her feel good, but I also wanted to impress and show her that I could care for her. More importantly, I wanted to show her that I wanted her.

As she floated down from her high, I took the time to worship her, licking the sweat from her skin and riling her up for more.

“Dean?”

Her soft voice calling my name so sweetly had me pausing to look at her.

“Wanna feel you come.”

My cock twitched, more than ready, but I fought to hold back, desperate to please.

“M’close,” I admitted, pecking her lips. “How do you want it?”

She moaned, her legs widening, making me sink a little deeper.

“Whatever you want. Anything!”

“So fucking perfect.”

I couldn’t help but praise her and was pleased when she swooned. I grinned and kissed her again, the feel of it already becoming second nature. I ran my hands up her arms and pulled her hands above her head, urging her to grab onto the edge of the mattress.

We smiled warmly at each other as I sat back on my heels, draping her legs over my arms as I gripped her hips. Her back was arched, legs wide.

I pulled back and swiftly thrust back inside, starting a brutal pace that rocked her body and had her screaming. She gripped the bed tight as I let go, fucking her like I wanted to. I was sure it was equal parts pain and pleasure, but she took every inch of me again and again.

She was chanting my name over and over, her pussy spasming wildly around my cock. I was going to come any second, but I needed to feel her one more time. To have her pull me over the edge with her.

I held her tight, sure there’d be bruises I’d kiss later, giving her all I had. She screamed even louder before her pussy fluttered and gushed all over me.

I lost it, falling forward and groaning as I came hard, the condom swelling with my seed. I huffed hard, my head falling into the crook of her neck. I couldn’t have imagined our first time together being any better than what we shared.

I tried to make myself move, worried I was crushing her. But she wrapped her arms around me and shook her head.

“No. Don’t move. Please.”

I laughed and dropped my head back to her neck. I was good with that.

-

Y/N POV

Fuck, I couldn’t move. Dean tried, but my oversensitive body couldn’t handle it, so I begged him to stay still. He seemed content to remain there for the time being.

“That was hands down the best sex I’ve ever had.” I chuckled at my honesty and still quite cum-drunk.

“Mmm,” he hummed, kissing my neck and pulling out. “You squirted.”

“I did?!” I had to lift my head and look, a big, wet mess all over us, the sheets beneath me wet. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I could do that.”

“Fuck, don’t apologize.” He tossed the condom and grabbed a towel to clean us up. I sighed and lay there, letting him. “It was so fucking hot, Baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, tossing the towel and moving us under the blankets. I went willingly, completely spent.

“Sleep?” I asked, desperately needing to recover.

“Sleep,” he agreed, pecking my lips before moving to spoon me, his arms wrapped around me securely.

-

When I woke later, I smelled coffee and gentle kisses on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and propped on my elbows, having shifted to my stomach at some point.

Dean was right there beside me, his smile warm. My heart melted all over again.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” he teased with a chuckle. He shifted to sit back against the headboard, sipping at a mug.

“Hey.”

I forced myself to sit up, adjusting the blankets to cover myself as I leaned next to him, noticing he was shirtless, but the bedding covered his lap.

He handed me the mug, and I smiled bashfully as I drank the warm and delicious coffee inside. I returned it, and he set it on the nightstand, turning his attention back on me.

He grinned, leaning in and cupping my cheek as he kissed me sweetly. His hand trailed down my neck to my chest before thumbing at my nipple. The kiss turned heated in an instant as he made his intentions known.

He pulled back the covers, and I let him, though I whined that he pulled his lips away, too. He was just as naked as me and half-hard. But as his shoulders settled between my thighs, my mind went blank, simply eager for what he was about to do.

-

Dean POV

When I woke, I had to wipe drool from my chin after the incredible dream I had of feasting on Y/N’s sweet cunt. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my face before noticing Y/N was asleep beside me.

She was on her stomach, her hair a wild mess, her mouth hung open as she breathed heavy and deep. Remembering what happened earlier, a grin spread on my face as I realized it wasn’t all part of my dreams. I leaned down and gently kissed her shoulder, but she didn’t move.

I decided to rush to the bathroom and grab some coffee, trying to hurry because I wanted to be there when she woke up. Ideally, I could wake her sweetly, and then maybe she’d let me eat her out because that part was a dream, and I was aiming to rectify that for both of us.

I climbed back in bed, not having bothered with clothes since we were alone in the Bunker, at least for now. I set the cup aside and kissed her shoulder and back again. Featherlight and worshipful, I brought her to wakefulness.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” I greeted as her eyes opened.

I sat back, sipping coffee. She sat up next to me with a soft greeting and accepted the mug when offered. She had moved the blankets to keep herself covered, but I could see over her neck and chest where I’d marked her good. I hadn’t meant to; I didn’t even realize I was doing it. But seeing them in different shades and sizes only turned me on.

She returned the cup to me, and I mindlessly put it on the nightstand. I kissed her, eager to show how happy I was, to reinforce that it was real and reciprocated.

Pulling the covers back to expose us, I thumbed at her nipples, finding them already hard. I ignored the throbbing of my cock, and I lowered myself between her thighs. She was already a little wet, and I was desperate to have her slick coat my tongue. I wasted no time as I dove in, making out with her pussy, tasting every bit of her, mapping and testing her creases and folds.

Her hands ran through my hair, and her thighs clamped around my head. Her moans and pleas had me impossibly hard. I rutted against the bed as I slid two fingers inside her, sucking her clit hard between my lips. Her voice hitched, and her body tensed, so I doubled my efforts. She shattered, and I removed my fingers to delve my tongue deep inside, gulping down her release and savoring her tangy flavor.

I came onto the sheets with a muffled grunt as I wrung every ounce of her orgasm from her. When she relaxed with a sigh, I kissed up her body, elated and aroused as she kissed me deep and sucked at my tongue.

I pulled back to look at her - at this incredible woman who loved me and was willing to give herself to me. She ran her hand from my brow to my jaw, her eyes following the touch, a soft smile on her lips as she met my eyes. It felt incredibly intimate, and I laid my head on her chest, my body pressing into her. I was hiding from the onslaught of emotions she was creating inside me.

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and one hand moved to run her nails over my scalp softly. I sighed and relaxed, taking the much-needed comfort she offered.

This was the part I always missed out on. It's always awkward mornings or quick goodbyes. With Y/N, I could stay, linger, and accept the peace and comfort I was always denied. I may have dozed off lying on her, but she never moved, her hands and nails soothing and relaxing me. 

God, I hoped it would always be like this. To be safe and loved in someone’s arms.

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8 months ago

Love Thy Enemy

Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/n; Hi my little doves, sorry i kept you waiting because i had my uncle and his family over from Germany and we spent quality time and also im working and my work is crazy lately but here i am. Love you all xx (sorry for any typos)

TAG LIST IS OPEN! (let me know if i forgot to tag you)

Warnings; Fighting! SMUT in next chapter!

Words; 3.529K

Chapter Eight ‘’Newly Weds''

She had to admit the food was delicious, she was aware that the meat dishes were exactly the way she prefered it, but she had no appetite, the grand hall was packed, houses all around the galaxy came to her wedding, including her sister-in-law and best friend Irulan, their tables were close so she saw Irulan smiled at her warmly, maybe she was encouraging her or feeling pity, Y/N couldn’t read her face from afar. Various guests brought presents such as; ancient scripts, carpets made of spice, valuable stones to make jewelry.. after a while she lost count.

When it was time to dance Feyd-Rautha bolted to his feet with a stoic expression and extended his hand to his new bride, ‘’May I have this dance?’’ it wasn’t a question he was basically demanding and it was custom for bride and groom to start the dance, the entire galaxy knew it. ‘’Yes, my Lord.’’ She replied and held his warm hand, his fingers grasped her delicate hand, he led her to the obsidian dance floor, when he held her waist she felt a sudden rush to her chest like her blood just gathered there.

‘’Try to smile, everyone is watching us.’’ He said quietly, obviously caring for his reputation and his wife’s. She looked into his eyes first, he was an excellent dancer and she was in awe every time, his blue orbits made her feel like they were the only two people in the grand hall, she felt at ease and automatically the corners of her lips lifted up into a gentle smile, a smile that pleased Feyd deeply but he kept his composure.

Soon other couples joined them, she followed Feyd’s eyes to a couple dancing close to them and she turned to see the couple, Pyramus and his fiancé were dancing…

Y/N’s eyes couldn’t believe what she was witnessing, ‘’Aww, are you hurt little dove?’’ she turned to Feyd, his tone was mocking but his eyes held something else, she could see a storm brewing in those ocean eyes, ‘’He doesn’t interest me anymore.’’ She was telling the truth but in Feyd’s dark mind she was a liar. Feyd didn’t respond and kept guiding the dance however he could feel raw rage building in him. His mind which was led by his uncle for so long was doubting his wife’s reply;

‘’She is lying, isn’t she?’’

‘’One cannot forget someone they once held dear..’’

‘’Were they ever intimate with each other?’’

His twisted mind kept twirling into those dark thoughts but his perfectly chiseled face showed no evidence of it.

Y/N’s eyes watched the guests retrieve to their guest chambers one by one, it was almost dawn and she was tired, her feet were killing her but Feyd stood still like a champion, she wondered if he was tired as well but his composure promised otherwise, Y/N found herself admiring her husband for being strong and when she caught herself doing it she shook her weary head in disbelief.

‘’Congratulations again dear nephew.’’ Baron Vladimir approached in his elevated carriage, towering above them, ‘’Thank you uncle.’’ Feyd’s response was short, Y/N bowed to show respect, Reverend Mother was next to Baron in her black clothing, covered head to toe, ‘’I shall pray for the old gods and the new for your marriage to succeed.’’ She said her eyes only focused on Y/N, she understood Reverend Mother’s true intentions, after all Y/N was one of them and she was trained to read between the lines, Reverend Mother was basically saying that ‘’I’ll pray for you to survive and keep Harkonnens connected to the Bene Gesserit by blood’’ one way or another she had to produce heirs but her plan was to avoid it as much as she could. ‘’Thank you Reverend Mother.’’ She bowed to her as well.

The way to Feyd’s chambers were covered with white roses, it was a custom of the Harkonnes, when the celebration of marriage ends the bride and groom walk back to the groom’s chambers hand in hand among white flowers to consummate the marriage.

Y/N’s heart was beating at full speed, his hand was like a cage to her hand, the hall was so silent that she could her heart beat in her ears, she knew the way to his chambers since she had been occupying it for days. She turned to get a glance of Feyd, her husband… his stoic face made her even more uneasy, she never liked not knowing or not predicting someone’s actions.

When they reached to the black door Feyd let go of her hand to open the door, he walked in and extended his hand, she took his hand again and walked in and her skin froze when she heard the door close.

‘’Do I have to kill him for you to stop loving him?’’ was Feyd’s first words to Y/N since the dance, she knew something was wrong with him.

‘’Pardon me?’’ she turned to face him, they were in the bedroom section, the entire chambers living room, bathroom and bedroom were spotless and decorated with white roses, it smelled nice.

Staring down at her, Feyd’s eyes were dark and intense as he asked the question that had been weighing on his twisted mind  since the celebrations, ‘’Do you still love him even after he sold you off for spice?’’ his voice laced with a hint of jealousy and possessiveness. His gaze remained on her, not entirely convinced by her words earlier when she said that Pyramus didn’t interest her anymore, ‘’Then why does he still have an effect on you?!’’ he asked, his tone tinged with skepticism.

She couldn’t believe that she was being accused of this, ‘’Why would a man who sold me for spice could have an effect on me?!’’

Feyd smirked as her anger flared, relishing the fact that he had gotten under her skin. ‘’it’s a simple question little dove,’’ he said coolly, his lips slightly curled in a smug smile. The mention of her ex’s betrayal ignited a fire within him, fueling his own possessive instinct. ‘’Then why was he eyeing you so intently during our wedding?’’

His questioning made her roll her eyes, was he out of his mind? Well, it was Feyd so anything could be possible. ‘’You should ask him that my Lord!’’

Feyd’s irritation grew at her eye roll and insolent response. He couldn’t help but tighten his jaw in annoyance. ‘’I am asking you little dove.’’ He said firmly, he took a step closer, towering over her in an attempt to assert his dominance. ‘’Explain why he was staring at you like that.’’

Y/N was puzzled, how could she know? She didn’t move away from him, Feyd’s patience was wearing thin. He grabbed her chin forcefully, his grip not quite painful, but firm enough to make his intentions clear. ‘’Why can’t you just give me a straightforward answer? Do you enjoy testing my limits?’’ he growled, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face, searching for any hint of deception.

Y/N didn’t back away from his grip even though it was a bit painful, ‘’As I have said, I do not know anything about him anymore, I left him in my past and I shall not bring him to my present and my future.’’ She replied calmly but she could feel the tears forming at the corner of her pretty eyes, Feyd’s grip on her chin remained firm as he leaned in closer, his gaze unwavering as he continued to question her, ‘’Why should I believe you?’’ he asked, his tone sharp, ‘’You say you’ve left him in the past, but your actions contradict your words. I don’t buy it.’’

He was being unbelievably stubborn, was he threatened by Pyramus?

‘’I was on your side the entire time.’’ She protested, his fingers were digging in her jaw, he noticed the tears forming but remained unyielding, he took a step closer again, his body now mere inches away from her, his breath warm against her lips as he continued to probe, ‘’That might be true,’’ he admitted begrudgingly, ‘’but that doesn’t change the fact that I can sense the lingering connection between you two. Don’t try to deny it. I’m no blind.’’

Maybe he still had feelings for her but she had none left, ‘’I do not know how I can convince you but I don’t love him.’’

Feyd’s hand dropped to his side, she was free from his grasp, he didn’t say anything, didn’t have to because she could see that he was still questioning her with his eyes. He pulled out a pocket knife and moved to the bed, Y/N was watching his every move. He cut his palm and smeared the blood on the side she usually slept, before she could ask he spoke with a cold tone; ‘’In few hours maids will come to take our sheets to my uncle to show him that we have consummated our marriage.’’ He took of his clothes and threw them around, he wasn’t even looking at her side of the room. He was only in his undergarments and he got under the covers, ‘’You should scatter your clothes around the room and get some sleep.’’ His back was turned to her, Y/N did what she was told and with her lacy white undergarments she got under the covers and turned her back to him. Sleep came quicker than usual.

Feyd-Rautha was a lot of things but not a liar, after getting some sleep maids have entered their bedchambers to wake them up for the new day ahead and also to ‘’change the bed sheets’’ when they saw the blood Y/N noticed the small smiles they shared among themselves, her Bene Gesserit training told her that the servants were happy to have her as their new lady. Na-Baroness Y/N Harkonnen.

Breakfast was ready for them but Feyd ignored her and left their quarters to his study room to get some work done, he was a busy man and the house Harkonnen’s future depended on him.

While she was having her breakfast she announced; ‘’I would like to visit Giedi Prime’s orphanage.’’ Her request was an odd one, maids around the room couldn’t comprehend her request, ‘’Now that I am the Na-Baroness I represent my husband. I do not wish to busy his already occupied mind about charity work and other social details. I want to see the conditions of the orphanage and offer my help. Don’t let the workers there know that I shall visit.’’ As an Atreides born and raised ladies of her house tended to more social problems and handled them with perfection. Even though she didn’t wish to marry into Harkonnens now she had duties to fulfill, Reverend Mother’s words hanged in her weary mind, the old lady was right in a sense. Y/N had to survive no matter what and her plan was to gain the public’s affection. Show them what kind of a woman she was and how useful and helpful she could be.

Little spies of Feyd-Rautha whispered into his ear that Na-Baroness wished to visit the orphanage today, she ordered her maids to prepare bags filled with clothes, medicine, toys. Feyd found himself smiling when his spies left. He changed his plans for today and decided to join his wife.

Y/N was waiting for the ship to arrive and take her and her servants to the orphanage when she noticed her servants bowing to someone, it was a hot day and the black sun of Giedi Prime made everything look too shiny white and dark black. Her dress was simple, she wanted to give a nice impression and as her first day being Na-Baroness she had to be careful. A soft wind made the silk grey dress clung to her thighs, it was a modest one, she turned on the open field to see who was coming and saw him in all black head to toe.

‘’You thought I would let you leave the fortress on your own Na-Baroness?’’ his raspy voice was sarcastic yet held a truth to it, it was too dangerous outside for the royals to roam. ‘’As I have proven before I can hold my own but-‘’ she watched him stand next to her, his hands clasped on his lower stomach, he leaned in to hear her clearly and it made her aware once again about the height difference.

‘’I do appreciate it.’’ She finished looking up at him, he did something which surprised Y/N, he kissed her temple with his soft lips, placed his hand on the small of her back, his gesture made the servants stand there in disbelief, they have never witnessed their Na-Baron being gentle with someone, especially a woman…. Y/N noticed the glances the servants shared among each other but paid no mind. She let them whisper, if it meant that she could win the public by simple and soft gestures shared between her and her husband then she was happy to oblige. When the ship arrived Feyd held her hand and guided her inside.

The trip to the orphanage was calm, Y/N and Feyd shared a small room together, she was sitting by the small window, ‘’So,’’ she began watching the scenery before her eyes, nothing but buildings, roads and factories, at a distance she could see a forest but it was far. ‘’There is nothing wrong when you don’t dine with me but if I refuse…’’ she mentioned earlier today when he left without a word. Feyd was getting a drink, he froze with her questioning, didn’t except her to say something about it.

‘’I thought you don’t like my company, matter of fact,’’ he turned to her with a glass of wine in his palm, ‘’you said it yourself before.’’ He was teasing.

Her hands resting on her lap, she started to play with her fingers with uneasiness, ‘’I may have said something like that before.’’ She tried to hide her smirk but he saw.

‘’My Na-Baron, we have arrived.’’ A guard announced and Y/N took deep breaths before they left the ship together.

The sun again blocked her vision for few seconds when the doors of the ship opened, she forced her  eyes to stay open and get used to it. She felt his hand wrapping around her hand and together they got off the ship.

The orphanage was gigantic and white, pure white, the floors were marble with grey veins. When she looked around and found not a single tree or a bush, she thought that had to be changed.

‘’Na-Baron,’’ a man approached them like his life was at stake, he was a tall old man with a long beard and bald head, ‘’And Na-Baroness, congratulations. We pray for this union to bring prosperity and power to us.’’ He bowed, ‘’Thank you Ser.’’ Feyd-Rautha spoke with his formal manner, it was amazing to see him shift that quickly. ‘’If we had known that you were visiting we would have been ready for you.’’ He seemed embarrassed, ‘’Please,’’ she spoke with a soft tone, ‘’Do not fret. I am here to see the conditions of the children who live here and we have brought clothes, medicine and toys for them. May we see inside?’’

The old man was startled by her soft spoken nature, ‘’Of course my Na-Baroness.’’ He bowed again and led them inside.

The walls were grey marble, there was no vibrant colors for children to see and it broke her heart. In a way Y/N was an orphan, being apart from her actual parents and staying somewhere that wasn’t home… Feyd noticed the sudden shift in his wife, her hand went to her chest in a troubled manner, ‘’Are you feeling unwell.. wife?’’ just like her Feyd was also getting used to being married and having a wife. Y/N turned to smile kindly, ‘’I am fine Na-Baron, thank you.’’ She replied shortly, Feyd didn’t pressured her to explain but he made a mental note to observe her closely. Y/N noticed the looks she got from children around her, they watched her walk gracefully in awe, everyone knew the yesterday’s grand wedding and ever citizen wanted to see the Na-Baroness up close. She smiled and bowed her head slightly to the children and watched them blush and avert their afraid gaze to somewhere and look back at her again. As a Bene Gesserit her mission was to make the citizens of Giedi Prime follow the Sisterhood’s prophecies and laws but as Y/N her mission was to win their favor and show them kindness.

Together they looked at the children’s bedrooms, toilet chambers and common rooms for hang out and eating. The building was old thus the furniture and plumbing system as well. Y/N, clearly was aware that everyone was watching her, held her husband’s arm in a loving manner and spoke ‘’My dear, we should renovate this institute in our name so that children here can have the newest technology and luxuries to succeed.’’ Her plan was to move the Baron and Rabban aside and make her name and Feyd’s name more popular among the people. ‘’Such an excellent idea dear.’’ He agreed, it made her eyes shine in hope which he noticed and felt a strange sensation at his chest, the symptom was heart attack but it was impossible. Then what was it? He didn’t linger on it.

Y/N personally gave the children boxes of toys, she talked to them, listened to their dreams and Feyd found himself watching her while he was talking to the workers. His eyes were on her, she was such a natural at being kind and nurturing that he was in awe of it, all his life he was shown nothing but brutality, fight, and blood. Women in his life before were trained to be an accessory in his life style, however Y/N was the opposite and she never tried to fit in, it seemed like she had a mission and she was following it like the paper ship on a lake, flowing in the water’s direction swiftly.

It was getting dark when their work was done, they said their goodbyes and got on the ship to return to the fortress. Not knowing what was waiting for them.

The ride to the fortress was calm one, they sat in comfortable silence, she could feel his eyes every once in a while, thanks to her trainings she could sense if someone was watching her. The question she was pondering on since last night came to her again ‘’Why didn’t he sleep with me last night?’’ It was their wedding night and ever since she was brought here he seemed eager to have her and when it came to it he stayed distant, his action last night left her in disbelief. He literally cut his palm and rubbed the blood on their sheets to trick the Baron and the rest of Giedi Prime but why?

‘’Last night,’’ she found herself speak, Feyd was sitting next to her and she caught his attention, ‘’Yes?’’ his raspy voice brought her to reality, she changed her mind. ‘’Never mind.’’

As soon as they landed a servant came to collect them, said it was urgent and the Baron requested their presence. She followed Feyd, he was holding her hand, guiding her.

Baron was waiting for them at the strategy room, every house had a room like this one to have meetings for war, spice etc. Baron, as always was in his floating device, ‘’Greetings young couple.’’ His voice didn’t match his words, ‘’Hello uncle.’’ He let go of her hand, didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. She watched Baron witnessed it and smile with victory, she was good at reading expressions.

‘’There is trouble in Arrakis, Rabban is messing up the whole spice production,’’ Baron began, ‘’you have to take his place and deal with Fremen rebels.’’ He was newlywed and Baron didn’t even hesitate to give him an onerous  mission ‘’Me and my wife shall get ready in an hour and-‘’ his speech was cut off, ‘’This matter only concerns you Feyd. Na-Baroness shall stay here and wait for your return. You have consummated the marriage, I’m sure when you come back you will hold your first born.’’

Y/N froze in her state. She was going to be here all alone, Feyd was refusing to look at her because if he did he would slice his uncle’s throat.

The walk back to their chambers was slow and quiet, their fingers brushed and left stingy sensation, when Feyd closed the door behind him the realization hit Y/N. According to Baron, Feyd was suppose to be gone for 9 months maybe more.. she turned to him and his expression broke her heart. He looked like that little boy she met years ago, alone and afraid. ‘’I don’t want to leave you.’’ He confessed which made her throat clench itself in agony, he looked away for a moment, contemplating something in his mind and he cursed under his breath and closed the distance between them, their lips met in passion.

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1 week ago

Love Thy Enemy

Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/N: Hey little doves! The next chapter will be the final one. Hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know if I forgot to tag you.

Warnings: SMUT!

Words: 2.371K

Chapter Fifteen

Duke Leto Atreides was in his council chamber, he gathered his most trusted men, Duncan Idaho, Gurney Halleck and their trusted soldiers, he was sitting in his rightful place, the winds of Caladan making a whistle sound that reached to his ears, there was a grim atmosphere in the council chamber, ‘’My lord,’’ Duncan started, he was sitting on Leto’s right side and Gurney on his left. ‘’Our spies in Giedi Prime informed me that Baron Vladimir has been gathering Shaddam’s men, the Sardaukars from Salusa Secundus to..’’ he swallowed, Leto gathered them and made them listen Na-Baron Feyd’s voice memo, ‘’to attack Arrakis and kill Na-Baron and,’’ Duncan felt like family here, under the Atreides House, so Y/N was also his family, ‘’Lady Y/N..’’ he finished with a flat tone but Leto could see the anger in Duncan’s brown eyes as he could see in Leto’s. They were sharing the common hatred towards the Baron and concern for his daughter Y/N. ‘’Then it means The Emperor Shaddam is involved in this scheme as well.’’ Gurney pointed out, scratching his grey beard, ‘’My Duke,’’ Gurney began and Leto turned his head towards him, ‘’What’s the plan?’’

Leto sighed, a certain determination written in his expression, ‘’We are going to kill the Baron.’’ Was his reply. There was no time, if the spies had given the information on Baron few days ago then it meant that they were most likely on the ships, on their way to Arrakis, Duke left Jessica behind, his son Paul was happily married and under the Emperor’s roof so Duke Leto knew that Shaddam wouldn’t harm him or his daughter, the one and only heir to the throne. Duncan and Gurney were in sync, gathering the soldiers into the ships, heavy arms and explosions, according to Duncan’s calculations they were going to meet Baron’s troops in the air, it was going to be an interesting battle and Duncan was looking forward to it.

Y/N was pacing in the bedchambers, it had been two days since the message which was sent by her husband, her father didn’t send a reply, did he abandon her to her fate? Did he have no concern for her or her safety? Thanks to her Bene Gesserit tricks she had learned from Feyd’s right hand man that Baron had gathered troops from Salusa Secundus, of course Feyd kept this from her, she felt betrayed by everyone, by Feyd since he kept this pivotal information from her, by her father who apparently left her to her fate, by the Emperor who kept Y/N in his domain, away from her family for so long… Maybe that was the reason why Duke Leto couldn’t form a connection and bond with her maybe that was the reason why no answer came from him, was he afraid of the Emperor? He was an old man now but with one snap of his fingers he could obliterate the entire universe.

On the other hand these past two days Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was planning attacks with what little men he had, fighting with Fremen to find his wife had consequences and he was facing them now. He was sleepless, he had only one motive, it was to protect his wife and their child, he had never felt a urge to protect someone like this before, of course with his mother he had these urges but this one was way different, more primal and ownership. She was carrying their child, a piece of him and her.  

‘’My Baron!’’ his men were calling him ‘’Baron’’ now, he didn’t order them to do, however, over the years every single Giedi-Prime citizen were fed up with the tight leash that Baron kept on them, and ever since Lady Y/N’s arrival even a blind person could see the change she brought and made Feyd-Rautha go under. Feyd turned to his right man, he was an old man with extensive knowledge, Feyd thought he was going to give information or tactics but there was a certain type of softness in the man’s grey eyes, ‘’Yes?’’ he asked, impatient. They were alone in Feyd’s study chambers, ‘’I’ve got it under control, go to your wife.’’ No one dared to talk to Feyd like that except him, the old man was on his side since Feyd started training in his childhood, they grew some bond together over the years, in that short sentence Feyd realized how busy he was, planning, getting ready for the upcoming battle, the young man only nodded and left the study chambers in rush.

She didn’t hear the door opening or Feyd locking it behind him, he leaned on the metal door for few seconds, watching her on the couch, her satin yellow dress hugging her curves deliciously, her long hair falling from her shoulders, he walked up to her and it made her look up with a smile, Feyd plopped down on the couch, resting her legs on his lap and started massaging her feet, he realized how tired he felt in that moment, these past two days felt like two years, ‘’Dove,’’ he called as soft as he could with raspy voice of his, ‘’It’s been a long day..’’ he added. She placed the book down on the empty coffee table, even though the upcoming battle was on her mind constantly she managed a soft smile, his hands on her feet felt strong and gentle, ‘’You must be tired my love.’’ She said.

‘’Very.’’ He murmured as he continued massaging her feet, he looked at her and noticed the smile and he smiled back, though it was a tired one, she could see the dark circles under his ocean blue eyes, ‘’I couldn’t focus on anything today,’’ he admitted, ‘’my mind was too scattered. But seeing you, my love, I feel calmer already.’’ She leant in and palmed his face, gave him a soft kiss on his plump lips.

He melted into the kiss, despite the exhaustion, her touch and affection ignited a spark within him. Feyd wrapped his hands around her waist, pulled her closer. He deepened the kiss, his lips moved hungrily against hers. It was as if all of his worries melt away for a moment, replaced only by his desire for her. He pulled her to his lap and held her tightly there, his hands resting on her thighs. He broke off the kiss to look at her, ‘’You have no idea how distracting you are wife.’’ his voice low and gruff. His hands slowly ran up her thighs, the silk of her dress bunching up around his wrists. His hands felt warm on her skin, ‘’Am I distracting you, husband?’’ he asked with a wicked smile as she grinded on his hard member through their clothes, she could feel him twitch under her, he let out a low moan, his grip on her tightened, ‘’You know you are,’’ his voice ragged. ‘’You drive me insane, my love.’’ His hands wandered up her body, slipping under her dress to the small of her back. Feyd’s blue eyes roamed over her, taking in the sight of her curves clad in satin and the desire building in his gaze. He needed her. Y/N continued humping on him, loving the way his large hands feel on her body, she could feel herself getting aroused, and his hard on was evident. Feyd’s breathing quickened, the feel of her body moving against his, through the fabric, sent sparks of desire through him. ‘’Gods pet…’’ he whispered, his voice rough with need. ‘’You’re absolutely sinful.’’ That earned a chuckle from her, ‘’You or me?’’ she asked sarcastically, she guided her hands so that he could take off the dress over her head, and now she was in her light yellow lingerie with laces that covers her breasts that getting larger due to the pregnancy, the band of her laced panties cutting her skin, Feyd’s breath caught as he took in the sight of his wife. The yellow lingerie contrasted beautifully with her skin, and the lace accentuated the curves of her body, curves that were made all the more delicious by her pregnancy. ‘’Definitely you,’’ he replied, his hands roamed over her body, exploring the new contours that pregnancy were giving her, even the changes were new but Feyd could tell, he wanted to worship her, to take her so completely. His hands moved to cup her breast through the fabric and it made her moan softly, her breasts were sensitive these days. His eyes darkened with her moan, it made him want her even more. ‘’You are so incredibly beautiful,’’ hands palmed her breasts, rubbing gently, ‘’every part of you.’’ He kept rubbing her sensitive breasts through the thin fabric, his touch was gentle, his fingers teasing, the fabric heightened the sensation, she could feel the heat pooling between her thighs as he played with her breasts, ‘’You drive me mad, love.’’ He whispered in her ear, ‘’I want to worship you, to make you mine completely.’’ With that her hands moved to his pants zipper, pulling it down, one of Feyd’s hands found her soaking core, she breathed sharply when his fingers made contact with the wetness. His breath hitched as he realized the wetness, she was soaked, begging for his attention. He had to remind himself that this time he wanted to take her slowly, tenderly. But the temptation to give in to his need for her was strong. ‘’Gods, love!’’ he rubbed her needing core as he spoke, gently, ‘’You’re so ready for me.’’ His hands on her soaking core sent electricity through her body, he pushed her panties aside to work his hands more, she was gasping and moaning with light touches of his fingers, her body ached for him, needing him to fill her as she was desperate for him. ‘’Little dove…’’ his lips were on her neck, tickling her, ‘’I want to hear you call my name. I want you to beg for me.’’ His words a mix of demand and desire. ‘’Feyd..’’ she moaned his name, ‘’Please…’’ he loved the way his name sounded on her lips, a desperate plea that went straight to his cock.

  ‘’Please what, little wife?’’ he asked playfully, his words a low, seductive drawl. He wanted her to say exactly what she needed and desired. ‘’I want you,’’ she palmed his face and looked into his eyes, ‘’deep inside of me.’’ And kissed him raw. His body responded immediately, pulling his pants down, he let her take control, Y/N helped him with his pants and then sat back on his lap, placed her wet entrance on hi hard and leaking cock, ‘’I’m going to give you exactly what you want, my love.’’ He growled against her lips, ‘’I’m going to fill you completely.’’ Feyd gripped her waist tightly, digging his fingers to her skin as she sank down, she moaned loudly as she felt Feyd fill her up with one stroke the hilt, Feyd’s eyes were almost crazed, fixed to her with a feral look. Her hands went to his shoulders, her tightness wrapping around him which made him growl in desperation. His hands went to her hips to grip and make her move slowly, ‘’You feel so good.’’ He breathed and Y/N started to move on him, Feyd watched his wife ride him, her breasts bouncing with the rhythm and with one swift move he ripped her bra, tossed it on the floor somewhere. His hand went to flick her nipple, the tip was so hard under his fingers he leaned into take it into his wet mouth, she gasped with the feeling. Her grip on his shoulders tightened, he teased and played with the nipple, he pulled back. His breath was hot against her chest, and his lips found hers as she bounced on his cock. Their kiss were hard and wet, his hands moved to her hips to guide her, they were breaking the kiss to moan and then kissing again. It was enough, Feyd flipped her on her back on the couch and mounted her, her legs wrapped around his waist quickly, pulling him deeper. He was on top of her, pounding like there was no one in this entire galaxy but her, Y/N was the only one who could get him like this, needy, desperate. ‘’Feyd..’’ she moaned his name over and over again when his large hand played with her clit, Feyd loved it when she moaned his name, ‘’Again.’’ He demanded with his raspy voice, ‘’Feyd-Rautha..’’ it was enough for him to come in her wet cunt, he was buried deep as he came he kept playing with her clit to bring her to come and she was a whimpering mess, ‘’I know, I know shhh..’’ she was shaking as she gushed, a pool of liquid left her core coating the couch.

He laid on top of her afterwards she pet his head gently, it was soothing to listen to her heart beat, his blue eyes closed involuntarily.

They were in each other’s arms, embraced the calmness in these hard times when their door violently knocked. Y/N opened her eyes with a heart beat that could be heard miles away. Feyd immediately jumped and made sure to help his wife get dressed, and then he took care of himself, marched to the door and unlocked it, his most trusted man entered. ‘’My Baroness.’’ He addressed Y/N first, and then Feyd, ‘’My Baron. I apologies to disturb you, however, we have detected ships approaching Arrakis, the ships are carrying House Harkonnen banners.’’ A grim atmosphere hung in the air. ‘’He is here.’’ Y/N whispered, her voice betraying her with a little shake, did that mean today was her last night? Feyd was going to fight for her till the end but if it meant also his death then…

‘’Ready our troops.’’ Feyd said to his man, looking stoic as ever, his man bowed and left the bed chambers. He turned to face the large windows, it was sunset, the ships of Harkonnens looked as if tiny dots in the Dune’s atmosphere, ‘’So it begins.’’ Feyd whispered to himself when his wife approached and held his hand.

Thank you so much for reading. :)

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