I love this more than I should
So a couple weeks back @theshitpostcalligrapher had this card that was perfect. It was something i say all the time, so i ordered one from her shop.
It arrived today.
Now i just need something to display it in.
(Credit to CollegeHumor for making this wonderful trailer)
it shows you a map of an area of your choosing in any amount of detail but every time you use it the DM plays the map song from Dora first. it plays in-game too.
SEA what i did there?
Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!
Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?
Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!
Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!
Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.
Judge: It’s 2014.
Prosecution: Yes, your honor.
Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?
Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.
Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.
Edgar Allen Poe: There’s a body under the floorboards, it’s heart beats to the sound of your guilt.
Everyone else: umm...
Edgar Allen Poe: The raven knows your name, it knocks on your window, quoting forevermore.
Everyone else: You okay, bro?
Group projects be like
I asked you to “sign me the fuck up”, not “assign me the fuck-up,”
One of, perhaps the funniest conversations I’ve ever had:
Me: *explains double incision top surgery and why nipple grafts are necessary*
My dear friend, a cis woman: So do you get to choose whose nipples they are?
Me:
My friend:
Me:
Me: No honey, they’re my nipples. I do get to keep my nipples, they just borrow them for a minute.
My friend, absolutely delighted at this news: Oh! That’s good! I think it’d be a bit weird to have someone else’s nipples!
Good luck trying to find a gold bar in this dumpster fire of a blog
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