Do Not Take Any Medication From Doctor Hannibal Lecter. This Is A Warning Adam.

I don’t know what feelings it would stir in Will. I have never met him.

But if someone saw a younger version of themselves, would they recognize it as themselves..or as someone else entirely?

It's very weird, having a patient with the same face as my Will.

I have received questions, but I am unable to answer some of them.

I am not sure why. If you have sent something and do not see a response, it is likely due to a technical issue rather than intentional avoidance.

I don’t think love should have to be a fight.

If it is, maybe it’s not love, it’s just war with different rules.

But I think some things stay even when you stop fighting. Probably not everything, but the important things. Thats how I see this. Maybe one day you feel that you won’t have to fight anymore.

Good evening Nigel,

I was at the National art gallery with Beth this afternoon. I saw Botticelli’s ‘Venus and Mars’ there, it is an absolute study in paradox!. About forces that should collide yet instead settle into something resembling harmony. It reminded me of space in that way. Mars, the god of war, lies unconscious, unarmed, seemingly at peace. Venus, the goddess of love, seems watchful but unaffected, an island of serenity beside him. She has not conquered him. She has not subdued him. And yet, in her presence, he is still.

Many people would assume that love triumphs over war, that beauty tames violence. But I think Botticelli offers something more intricate. Venus does not demand change. She does not impose softness upon Mars. She simply exists, and in doing so, creates the conditions for stillness. Mars, so accustomed to unrest, is given a rare and unfamiliar gift—the absence of conflict. And he does not resist it.

The tension here is not one of struggle, but of transformation. Venus has not altered Mars, she has only revealed what he is capable of being. I imagine this as love at its most potent—not forceful, not possessive, but a quiet invitation to become. There is no battle between them, no need for submission or control. Instead, they are two opposing forces that, for a moment, find equilibrium. Together.

This is the paradox I was speaking of : not that one must destroy the other, but that they can coexist. In Metamorphoses, Ovid describes their relationship as both passionate and volatile, yet Botticelli captures something…subtler. Venus does not try to change Mars, nor does she fear him. She understands him. And understanding, more than any weapon, has the power to disarm.

I remember Beth asking ‘Why does Venus choose Mars? Her husband Vulcan presents as a more fitting counterpart, someone more aligned with her nature’. I answered that, perhaps love is not drawn to reflections of itself, but to contrast. To the possibility of transformation. Venus does not force Mars to lay down his weapons. He does so on his own, because in her presence, he does not need them.

There is power in that, in my opinion. A kind of power that does not shout, does not demand, but simply is. Not dominance, but invitation. Not submission, but balance.

And it reminded me of you.

Well, shit… you’ve really got me here, don’t you? Never thought I’d be sitting here, having someone talk to me about love like that, beautiful. It’s funny though. Mars? Peaceful? Never thought I’d see the day.

An invitation, huh? Not a fight, not a conquest, not a struggle to win someone over. Just... being. That’s a new one for me. Love makes me do some fucking crazy things, but never like that.

If I’m being real, I don’t know if I believe in that kind of love. The kind that just fucking is. Hell, I’m not sure I’ve ever let someone just exist if I really loved them, or that I've ever felt like I can let myself relax that way, or if I even can. I’ve always thought that if you don’t fight and keep fighting to keep what you have, you end up losing everything.

Maybe you’ve got a point, Adam. No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.

I’m glad you thought of me.

Hi Adam! I hope you're having a good day. I have a NASA shirt and a bracelet with planets n it that remind me of you.

Have you heard about the two astronauts that recently came back from space after being up in the ISS for a long time? What are your thoughts on that?

- 🧷 anon

Good evening!,

That is kind of nice to hear, actually. About the bracelet and the shirt.

And yes, I did read about the two. Spending that long in microgravity changes your body in ways we still don’t fully understand. It’s incredible what the human body can adapt to—but also, what it can’t. Your muscles atrophy, bone density drops, your cardiovascular system shifts. Even your eyesight can change. Some astronauts develop something called SANS—spaceflight-associated neuro-ocular syndrome. And then there’s the radiation exposure. Being up there for months is like being slowly rearranged by space. I think there must be something quietly haunting about coming back to Earth after so long..

I saw a guy today wearing sunglasses indoors. The sun wasn’t out.

Neither was common sense, apparently.

hi adam :3 opinion on raccoons

My opinion on raccoons? I like them.

They have highly dexterous front paws with five fingers, which allow them to open latches and even solve simple puzzles. Their problem-solving skills are comparable to primates.

I also think that they look cute.

Really? How?.

If you met an alien, what would you tell and/or ask them?

Okay. First off: how do you breathe? Do you breathe? What kind of atmosphere are you used to? Is oxygen poisonous to you? Do you metabolize something else entirely? And your gravity, how strong is it? Do you walk upright? Do you even need to walk? What’s your skeletal structure like? Do you even have bones?

What’s your biology based on? Is there a version of DNA where you’re from? Or is it something entirely foreign to us? What’s your body temperature? Do you even need to regulate it? Do you get cold?

Do you perceive time linearly? Do you dream? Have you categorized your stars yet? What are your units of measurement? Do you know what we are? Have you been watching us the way we’ve imagined you?

And I think… after all that..I’d probably just say:

I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. Not you specifically, maybe. But the possibility of you. And now I have about a million more questions.

The Rosette and OO-1 Nebulae © astrofalls

Everyone keeps telling me to sell my house. I won’t. No matter what happens. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to lose something else again.

Hey Adam! How are you doing today?

Hello,

I did not manage to answer you in time. I do not remember how I felt on May 2nd.

But if I apply your question to today, I’d say I feel desolation and a sense of culpability regarding my emotional state.As for what I’m doing; I’m packing boxes.

I’ve been trying to organize them methodically, much to Beth’s frustration. We argued about it yesterday. It makes my skin itch to watch her throw everything together without care.

Tonight, I’m going to the park to watch the raccoons. I hope it’ll settle my thoughts. I know it won’t, there’s no magic in distraction. But maybe if I keep myself occupied long enough, I can crowd out what’s pressing on me.

After all i understand that my routines aren’t efficient for moving. So, I’ll dissociate as much as I can.