parisntexxas - Carmilla
Carmilla

When you know, you know.

144 posts

Latest Posts by parisntexxas - Page 2

3 months ago
A Belated Gift.

A belated gift.

3 months ago
3 months ago
Hi

Hi

My X (rsmary) main account X (raikovrose)

4 months ago
More Geto With Piercings

more geto with piercings

4 months ago
I Forgot To Post These Here.
I Forgot To Post These Here.
I Forgot To Post These Here.

I forgot to post these here.

4 months ago
Chess Match♟️

chess match♟️

4 months ago
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?
Isn't All That Rage So Ugly? And Isn't It Mine, Still? Good God, Isn't It Mine?

Isn't all that rage so ugly? And isn't it mine, still? Good god, isn't it mine?

this is me trying - taylor swift/unable to find orgin/unknown/cop car - mitski/grief lessons: four plays by euripides, translated by anne carson/unknown/happiness - taylor swift/venetta octavia/c.s. lewis/I know the end - phoebe bridgers/a prayer - tathève simonyan/buried - ashe vernon

5 months ago
— Arthur Miller, The Crucible

— Arthur Miller, The Crucible

5 months ago
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.
On Longing And Deep Obsession.

on longing and deep obsession.

@agenderloser

5 months ago

cw: slight dubcon, taking pictures, groping (all consensual)

obsessed!geto who loves spoiling you, taking you out on dates and buying you whatever your heart desires because he knows that you’ll let him fuck you in whatever he wants to see you in.

you want a new sweater? it’ll end up bunched around your collarbone as he tugs it up to stare at your tits.

“suguu!! stop it you perv!”, you whine as he intently stares at your mounds, reaching out to fondle them.

“calling me that only turns me on more, angel”

obsessed!geto will get you a necklace with his initial on it, a subtle display of affection. to you, it’s a piece of jewelry that you cherish. but to him, it’s his claim over you.

he watched the small initial necklace bounce against your neck and collarbone, back and forth, as he slammed his cock into you from the back.

drilling his cock into you and smiling, watching the shining metal around you neck, he leaned down to whisper in your ear

“mine, all mine”

obsessed!geto who always has his hands on you at all times, especially when you two are in public. it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing pants or shorts, he’ll have his hand on your ass. even better if you’re wearing a skirt, he’ll put his hand under your skirt and squeeze your cute butt!

if someone tries flirting with you while he’s not there, you best believe he’s coming back, running his hands over your back and wrapping around your waist.

“oh? who’s this, angel? no one? that’s what i thought”

obsessed!geto who just loves taking pictures of you when you’re vulnerable! at first it, it starts with him just taking cute photos of you but when you two start dating, he tests the waters a little, with your permission of course!

when you’re sleeping, when you’re in the shower, when you’re cooking or cleaning, he just loves anything you do!

his personal favorite is one where he snapped a picture of you when you passed out after a mind-numbing orgasm. your face was in your pillow, drooling while your nice little ass was faced up, showing how both of your holes were destroyed, gaping, and full of cum. he’s just so obsessed with you!! <3

AGH i love geto ill make a pt 2 soon

6 months ago
I'm Crying #1

I'm crying #1

6 months ago
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]
BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]

BUCK-TICK - Dress 「ドレス」 [1993]

7 months ago

"You sensed that you should be following a different path, a more ambitious one, you felt that you were destined for other things but you had no idea how to achieve them and in your misery, you began to hate everything around you."

— Dostoevsky

8 months ago

𓆩 We used to be a proper subculture 𓆪🪦

It's sad that now all goths want to look the same when goth it's supposed to be about expressing your own self.

⚰️ I also feel like this might be the end of the goth subculture as we know it.

𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
𓆩 We Used To Be A Proper Subculture 𓆪🪦
8 months ago

omg can u expand on alfreds kinks with ddlg and gmdlb like what scenarios would he like

He definitely has a thing for dominant women who have maternal tendencies (see Marianne and Anya, and to an extent Alice and Julia)

Even though in theory he's into calling men Daddy I don't feel like he trusts most of the male nations enough to be that submissive around, and the ones he would (Gilbert) he has not had a sexual relationship with. The exception might be Francis but I think that might be a once in a decade thing, or maybe less often.

Honestly I feel like he started calling himself Daddy as a joke, and making a bunch of memes about DD/LG and MD/LB but the more he made fun of it the less of a joke it became

Alfred gets off on feeling like he fills the provider role and that he can take care of his partner's every needs, almost to the point of insecurity. So as a Daddy, this fuels his need to take care of his partner.

For the most part he's more into the aesthetics of the kink and less into the heavy role-play

With that being said he would do almost anything a Mommy asked him to do. I feel like he was disconnected from women for most of his early life and raised in a very masculine environment so he's always been seeking out female validation

He's very obsessed with breasts, which lends itself well to the Mommy kink. He likes the idea of nursing if his partner is into that

If they were actually lactating he would lose his mind and follow them around like a golden retriever

8 months ago
American Mary (2012)
American Mary (2012)

American Mary (2012)

9 months ago
"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.

"Do not fall in love with people like me.

I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments,

And I will kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.

I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible.

And when I leave you will finally understand,

Why storms are named after people."

Caitlyn Siehl - Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short and Sexy Love Poems

"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.
"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.
"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.
"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.
"Do Not Fall In Love With People Like Me.

It'll be over soon.

Promise?

10 months ago
Drawing Genocidal Men Is Great
Drawing Genocidal Men Is Great

Drawing genocidal men is great

10 months ago
Poison Ivy And Harley Quinn By W. Scott Forbes

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn by W. Scott Forbes

10 months ago

I'm unsure if your Request are open, deeply apologizing if I disturbed you.

: Need more yandere captivated stuff, like them constantly clinging to their sweet love, locking the bedroom door at night and only giving their captivated lover permission to leave the room only if they're awake. ♡

mwa, absolutely love your writing.

Their rules - Yandere JJK

I'm Unsure If Your Request Are Open, Deeply Apologizing If I Disturbed You.

Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji

AN: the boys’ rules for you, plus them being clingy. A bit of the past and background before they kidnapped u ;3

TW: starving, slight Stockholm syndrome, manipulative

Ahhhh yess requests are open thanks for asking!! (≧∇≦)b

Gojo-

Hes unbearable. His rules are short and simple, but the man himself is insufferable.

He clings onto you, legs around your thighs, head on your chest, while you lay in bed. You try to push him off, but the man is so much bigger than you. He doesn’t move an inch, it was like trying to move a brick wall.

You remember the first time he giddily told you the rules.

“Ok ok listen-“ he said in the middle of giggles, then straightened up his back to look serious but it was obvious he was still giddy.

“Hum.. No touching the stove when I’m around, No watching tv, that’s a reward not a privilege, you can earn watching it. No ignoring me, no sleeping without giving me a kiss or cuddles.”

He hums. “there isn’t much sweet thing…I just want you to be happy.” But his smile is sickly and you know there’s more to what he’s saying.

You know there’s unspoken rules he doesn’t say, like how you need to constantly keep him in a good mood.

When you were first taken by him, you rejected his every advance. Every time he wanted kisses or cuddles or even something simple, like for you to look at him. You said no, turned away, and slumped in bed.

At first he let it go. He was patient. He was just happy that you were there. That you couldn’t talk to others, look at others, and your attention would all be to him in no time.

But you refused this little charade, and you could see him slowly start to become more agitated. It’s when he stopped coming home to make you dinner (the dinner you barely ever touched anyway), and the way you felt like he was forgetting about you.

He’d always refill the things you ran out of. The bottle of water on your-his nightstand. The sanitary items and hygiene products you use. He’d always refill the pantry with all your favorite snacks and sweets.

But he stopped. And that got scary. Your mind was already in shambles, now you were thinking, what if he’s going to leave you for dead? Stop refilling, stop visiting, until you pass away in this locked hell.

Finally, he came home tonight. Around midnight. He never came that late before- it was always around 8 pm or 9 when he was really late, he always made sure to come home early enough to make you dinner.

You were starving, and you peeked from the hallway to see him stumble in, then throw himself on the sofa and then the tv on.

You weren’t really allowed to watch tv. You wonder if you could earn it. You watched him slump over, eyes heavy with a glare. He never really looked like this, honestly he always looked giddy and happy. Happy to come home to you. But now he just looked angry, upset, pissed. But it never seemed like it was to you.

He never showed you he hates you, he just stopped trying- stopped talking to you.

But why did that seem scarier than just straight up punishing you?

You slowly took a few steps out of your peeking spot, to be in his eyesight. Normally he’d be delighted, thinking you came to ask him for something or you wanted to talk, anything really. But this time he didn’t even look up from the tv. As if you weren’t there, as if he didn’t notice you.

That just added to your nervousness.

So you decided to do something incredibly stupid.

You hated his giddy happy side, but for some reason, you missed it know. At least before, the aura of the home stayed light and happy. Even if you weren’t happy. But now, the tension is fucking palpable. It’s heavy, and disgusting. You feel scared to even walk a few steps that’s how heavy the air feels right now.

Slowly you walk over to him. He doesn’t budge. His arms are spread at the top of the sofa as his body slumps back onto the sofa. His legs are up on the coffee table, eyes directed solely to the tv.

You sit next to him carefully. Slowly, you start to scoot over to him, slowly. So that his arm over the sofa would carefully be put over you.

Finally you scooted close enough that your thighs touched, and that your head slightly leaned onto his shoulder.

You were scared he’d hit you, scream at you, hurt you. He’d never done that before but what was stopping him from doing it now? Yes he was gonna hurt you for being stubborn for ignoring him, he’s gonna-

“I missed you.” He said with a sigh, eyes tired that bore into you, his voice was almost shaky, it was obvious he wasn’t feeling well. The arm laying on the top of the couch fell onto your shoulders, pulling you in. Cradling your body.

“You hungry?”

Yes, fuck yes. You’ve barely eaten in the last few days, solely relying on your pantry of snacks and sweets alone to quench your hungry, since he stopped making meals for you.

You nodded quickly and he smiled softly and ruffled your hair.

“Alright- too tired to cook. Let’s just order in ok?”

You nod immediately, digging yourself in more into his body. He smiles at this. You know you shouldn’t be touching him, listening to his dumb rules and letting him control you like this.

But you couldn’t help it. Things were just so much easier when he was happy. You got to eat, watch tv, and sure, you hated touching him, but he was just so warm.

That’s why, fast forward to now, you let him cling onto you in bed. Whining bout his day and how he doesn’t have enough time with you. How if he could just open your rib cage and snuggle inside, stay warm and with you forever he would. You think he’s crazy, weird, gross, but you don’t comment on it. You let him think your okay with all this, you let him nibble on your collarbone and let him whisper how he’s never gonna let you go, how your his for life and how he loves you like none before.

He’s warm. You notice. You notice his heartbeat, his breath on your collarbone, his eyes full of hearts and swelling with love. The way he huffs every time you slightly move away.

“H-hey umm I need to use the toilet can you move-“

“Can I come?”

Oh god.

Geto-

His rules were unknown honestly. He didn’t outright say any, he wanted you to think you had freedom. Like you weren’t being held hostage in his home. As if you were just his lover living with him. Like you had free rein.

As if he didn’t lock the bedroom door every night, thinking you were fast asleep. Like he didn’t keep track of every time you used the restroom, the shower, did your skincare and ate. As if he didn’t have those times and dates and stamps of every time you did so, so he could keep track of every little thing you did.

He wanted you to be happy and free in your home, he called it. After it all, he built it on all your necessities, all the things you use and like, so it is your home. It was made for you.

But there are the unspoken rules.

He hates when you get up from bed in the night, to go use the restroom. He wakes up in a jump, eyes wide and exploring the room, his hands roughly shoving the blankets off the bed to see your not there.

He panics. And he knows he shouldn’t. There are alarms everywhere, he has a tracker on you, he knows when you leave and when you stay and where you are at all times. He gets up quickly however, feet scampering to the bathroom door where he knocks on it slightly, asking you to come out.

He’s always been an okay-amount of clingy. But he panics a lot. He doesn’t show it- but he does. He thinks you’ll leave, you’ll die- or something. Maybe someone else will snatch you- a “monkey” or some curse. He’s seen the real world he knows how dangerous the average person can be so could you imagine blood thirsty curses? Ready to swipe your small body at any second and have you for a second dinner?

He’d never let that happen.

And he wants you to reassure him. He won’t ask for it but he needs it. Desperately. Tell him you won’t leave, you won’t die, that your safe- that he’s safe. That you’ll be together forever.

But you don’t. Because you hate him.

You use to, when you two were actually friends- no, best friends. You’d tell him all the time that he was safe with you, that your his best friend and you’d make sure that the both of you live a long and healthy life- together.

And that’s what stayed in his mind. Why’d you break your promise? Why’d you have to stop telling him these sweet things? Is it not true anymore? Are we not safe? Are you gonna leave- be taken away? Don’t leave.

He wakes from a bitter nightmare that same night. A treacherous feeling crawling his spine, panic in his eyes and his body thrashing. He looks at you. His sweet Angel. You could never do him wrong. But he needs your comfort, your reassurance.

“Angel? Angel wake up, please.”

You refused to, ignoring his please. The truth is, his panicking in his sleep woke you long ago, but you didn’t want to wake him up from his little nightmare. You perhaps wanted him to suffer just a little longer.

“Angel? P-please just..”

You rolled your eyes, body facing away from him on your side, still faking your sleep. He could deal with this on his own. You know one of his huge rules was to comfort him and nurse him like you used to- one of his unspoken rules. You know this because just a day after he kidnapped you, he came home with what he called “monkey blood” all over him.

He wanted you to clean him. Tell him to stop calling humans monkeys. He wanted you to bring him back, to keep him from the evil that plastered his mind. Because you were the only one who kept him a clear head, that kept him sane and on earth. Otherwise, who knows what he’d be now?

That day, when you didn’t comfort him, the day after he kidnapped you, he became desperate. Begging you almost, but then he stopped. Like a cloud of indifference and anger covered his eyes and he grabbed you by the arm, pulling you into a closet and locking you in.

You screamed, yelled, begged him to let you out. You went through all stages of grief basically, angrily screaming, then begging, tearing up, then calming down and crawling into a little ball in the corner of the closet. It was dark, cold, miserable. Dust got in your hair and eyes, you tried to dust it away with your hands but you felt so dirty. You just hoped he’d let you out soon.

He only left you for an hour or two- you don’t really remember. He didn’t wanna be too harsh on your first punishment. He still loved you after all, you were just being a brat. But then he dragged you out and sat you down at the dinner table. He acted like nothing was wrong, smiling at you and picking up a spoon of the food he made. He put it to your mouth, trying to feed you. You shook and trembled. You knew you couldn’t say no, or who knows how long he’d keep you in that damn closet? At least you’re free now right? You ate the food off his spoon, and let him feed you for the rest of dinner.

He was so incredibly happy that you were obeying him so early in the “relationship”, that he didn’t put you back into the closet, but instead let you watch tv. Of course, not without him sitting under the couch, while you sat on the sofa with your legs dangling on his shoulders, brushing his hair and braiding it like you did when you two were best friends. Before things changed.

“Angel please, I need you.” He almost whimpered.

You sighed, and got up, turning your body to him. “What was the dream bout this time?”

He’s always had nightmares, about different things. When you were best friends, he refrained from telling you them. Just wanted you to tell him it was okay, he just wanted to hear your voice and be lulled back to sleep.

Now he won’t shut up about them. Shameless, you think.

“Oh Angel.” He pulls you into his chest, a very much unwanted hug, one hand on your head and the other wrapped around your waist, he pulls the covers back on top of the both of you.

“It was terrible. You were hurt, my dear. Don’t you see why I have to keep you? You hurt- that would destroy me, my love.”

His words disgust you, but what really disgusts you is the way you know he isn’t lying. You can hear the genuine concern in his voice, that he genuinely thinks this is helping you, not just for his own selfish desire.

“Oh Angel, if you left- I wouldn’t know what to do.”

And that scares you. That scares you because he knows damn well you can’t leave. The cameras, the security, the alarms and the tracker. The way he tightly holds you as if your going to disappear into thin air. The way your almost out of oxygen with the tight hold, your chest and ribs being smushed against his. You could feel his heart beat, you could feel it trying to pounce out his rib cage.

“I won’t leave.”

What you meant to say is that you can’t leave, there’s no way for you to anyway, but you glance up at him and see that what you said was the right thing to say, a smile adoring his lips as he kissed your head softly.

“My sweet Angel. You always know what to say.”

Or you just know what he wants to hear.

Nanami-

Nanami had so many rules, regulations, all these things you had to remember.

“You need to ask me permission for certain things. Entertainment is a privilege you’ll be rewarded with. I have books and art supplies you’ll be using before screen time. Healthy snacks only- with the exception of dessert after dinner. You don’t get dessert if you’re being bad.”

He sits on the coffee table in front of you, wearing his work clothes, a nice suit and some goggles in his hands. You sit on the sofa in front of him, arms crossed in your chest out of anger but you listen anyway.

“The better you are the more freedom you have, my dear. I’d never want to take away the things that make you happy, but I can’t stop myself if your being bad. I want you in bed by midnight, or you sleep when I do. If I’m late from work and can’t make dinner I’ll send some- you’re not allowed in the kitchen until you get the privilege of it. You have a pantry full of snacks and healthy foods, and a water dispenser until I can come home and make dinner. I will make breakfast every morning.”

His damn rules and regulations go on forever, but at least you know what will make him upset and what won’t.

“Once you can prove your a good girl/boy, I’ll provide you with more electronics for your own entertainment, but screen time will be limited. I expect you to keep up with your hygiene and get enough sleep, eat well and continue your hobbies. I’d like you to greet me in the morning before I leave and at night when I come home- obviously this rule varies on the circumstances of the day.”

You sigh, further sinking into the sofa as he talks you down further.

“In the future, I expect goodbye kisses and greetings. If you ever need anything you just need to ask me. If you’re thinking on picking up a new hobby, you want new clothes, different snacks- I expect you to tell me. And lastly, you are never allowed to go to sleep angry. I know this situation isn’t ideal, but I never want to argue before bed, and sleep angry with each other. We need to hash things out everytime, I don’t think it’s fair to each other, otherwise.”

You just nod, half the things going over your head but you know you should agree.

“Alright I’ll be home early today, okay? Goodbye my dear.” He gets up and stands near the door, waiting.

You look up at him from the sofa, then realize what he’s waiting for.

“Just leave.” You say upset, curling up into the sofa. He frowns, but leaves anyway, waving goodbye.

He had just kidnapped you. What was it the second day? He abducted you last night. Let you in on all the fun rules today.

Great.

Honestly, you’re still freaking out in your head a bit about all this. At first you thought it was some curse disguised as him, but you could sense his cursed energy was all him. No trickery, no fakes, it was him. He fought so hard but you were no match for him.

You definitely could have been, and that makes you laugh. You really could have. But he’s been watching you since high school. Watching your techniques, your moves, the way your body sways in fight and the way you dodge. The way you attack, everything. You’ve fought him plenty of times to train and for fun. You never thought- you never once thought he’d use it against you.

That he memorized your every move, adapted, the way he knew exactly what way you’d fight back, what way you’d dodge what way you’d try and escape.

How could he?

You were so upset, so betrayed. It hurt so much. You curled into yourself, upset, thinking bout the way he basically took advantage of you as friends. You thought you were fighting beside him, were you really just fighting him all along?

That day he came home, and saw you laid out on the couch, dried tears on your cute pink cheeks, your body curled to protect yourself, fast asleep.

He smiles at you, but it’s a soft sentimental one, one that has a hint of sadness.

He didn’t want to hurt you. Genuinely. But he couldn’t help it. Every year, being thrown into a friendzone, every year his obsession for you grew, he wanted you as his wife not best friend, every year he saw himself grow older- and was scared. What if he grew too old to get married? To have a family? Each year you showed the same care you should your friends, nothing grew into sweet love for him, and that scared him. In high school, he waited. Hoping that you’d mature and grow to love him. He stayed by your side hoping he wouldn’t have to do anything drastic.

But the time passes anyway.

And you didn’t seem to change.

And he carries you to your bed, their bed. The bed you share. When he places you down he caresses your head and hair, you kick him away in your sleep and that hurts him so deeply. He locks the door, sits on your bed and watches you. He had to do this. Don’t you see?

The way you would smile at him, laugh with him, love his seriousness and fight beside him. He loved that all about you. You two were meant for more then a measly friendship right?

He pulls you to him in your sleep, cuddling your unconscious body, snuggling his face into your nape and softly pecking your collarbone. He smiles at the way you whine in your sleep, trying to push him away and stop being smothered.

But he loves to smother you- he won’t stop. He lays almost on top of you, head in your nape, as he softly caressed your waist and hips, pecking your collarbone, smiling dazedly, almost drunk, off the cute sleeping sounds that leave your mouth, the breaths that leave your nose, the soft heaving of your chest.

He loves how domestic this is. His wife/hubby, his adorable lover and partner. His equal and forever. He believes that you two have always been together, that you’ve always cared for him as much as he cared for you- you just don’t realize it.

He eyes become heavy. Being in your arms (not that you were trying to keep him there), reminds him how relaxed he feels in them, that they make him drowsy and almost high off the feeling. His body almost slumps over, un-tensing. He had a long day of work. It was nice to come home to his loved one, to be in your arms, to be held and to hold.

If he could stay like this forever, the time not continuing, just you and him in a warp of space where time doesn’t exist, where you could be one. Where he could cherish you and spoil you forever and ever- reliving the lovely memories from when you were young.

A smile softly sets on his face as he falls asleep snuggled to you, he thinks, that he doesn’t need to live in the past. You two can make new memories, better ones. Memories, where you actually love him, not just as a friend, but as a lover.

His lover.

Toji-

He didn’t really have rules for you. He didn’t care too much about physical affection, sure he liked the average kiss on the cheek before he left to assassin some idiot. He wanted your attention obviously, but he didn’t mind you being a brat and never giving it to him.

“Alright I’m going to work.” He’s waiting for you. He’s waiting for you to run up to him and kiss his cheeks, tell him you love him, at least wish him goodbye. He felt desperate. Sad. He wanted you to just- why are you being so bratty?

“I’m going to work.”

He’s at the door, hand on the handle. You’re sitting on the couch. He lets you watch tv, sometimes he’s happy when you accidentally come across the news channel and see all the disgusting shit on the news, all those disgusting heinous crimes. Maybe someday you’ll see those and understand. Know that he did this all for you, it’s all for your own good. As cliche as that sounds.

“Im going-“ “Ok I get it!” You basically yelled.

He seemed startled. That’s when he starts to wonder if he was giving you too much freedom. You yelled at him. How could you? You want him gone, you want him to leave.

Alright he’ll give you what you want.

That day he came home, and cleared out the pantries and locked up the fridge. He left the next morning, telling you he had some mission that’ll last a few days. You just shrugged at him like normal, pretty happy you’d get a break from him.

But you didn’t realize his plan. His stupid crazy fucking smart plan. You opened the pantry. Nothing, just a few things you can’t really eat. Like a half full jar of peanut butter, uncooked pasta, some can of tuna. You opened the other drawers and cabinets. Condiments only basically. Salts and spices. But where was the food? Ok, it’s fine. You’ll cook something, grab some things in the fridge- wait what? Why was there.. a lock? Why’s it locked? It was never locked- oh. He did this. This is your punishment.

No, you’ll take it. If he wants to be an ass- you’ll just be even pettier and go with it. Then he’ll know not to test you right? He’ll essentially get worried that your not eating, then go buy more food and unlock the fridge.

Boom. Great plan right? Wrong.

Your stomach growled. It was what, the third day in to not eating? You thought you had more resistance then that- that you could hold back for longer. But no, your stomach was in pain and you felt yourself growing weaker.

You felt yourself getting desperate.

You decided to emergency call Toji. He had one attached to the security, where you could only call him, if ever an emergency while he wasn’t home.

You went up to the little screen on the wall next to the door, an iPad connected to all the security, well only he could access that part. What you could access, is the emergency call. But before you pressed the button to call you stopped yourself. Fuck you were hungry, but you couldn’t give in. Plus you knew he was angry. He wouldn’t just give in.

You needed to sweeten him up. You knew that he won’t just give in if you ask for food.

You slightly press the button, hearing it ring for a second before he picked ul and answered.

“What?”

Normally, he’d be asking if your okay, if you needed him, what’s the emergency. You know, all that. When he was actually worried. You gulped.

“O-oh! Yeah I called because I umm.. I miss you?” Yeah, not so convincing.

“Yeah, doll?”

“..yeah. When you coming home?”

“I don’t know.”

… He’d never answer like that before. He was being so dry? What was his plan? But then, the hunger, the dizziness, the weakness in your bones- you started to overthink. You started to think that perhaps he wasn’t coming home. He was going to leave you forever in this locked cage, alone, to die. And then you thought, what if his mission is going bad? And that’s why he isn’t being clear? What if he really doesn’t know when he’s coming home because where he is, is so dangerous he isn’t sure if he even will come home?

But if he dies, you die. If he dies, you die. If he dies you die if he dies you-

“TOJI please! Please please come home I can’t- I can’t be here alone anymore- I need you. Please Toji don’t die-“

“Die? Doll? What’s wrong?”

You start to sniffle, thinking about your own death. Thinking about different ways you’d die out, and all leads to one- alone. You didn’t wanna starve to death alone. You couldn’t.

“P-please? Come home? Miss you..” the genuine upsetness in your voice seriously surprised him.

“Ok doll. I think I can get home by tonight ok?”

“Toji?” You ask softly, sniffling.

“Yeah doll?”

“I feel so sick.” You whine, clearing your throat.

It’s like you could feel him smile from the other end. “Alright doll, don’t worry, m’ coming home soon. I’ll bring you some things on my way back. Kay?”

You nod, even though you know he can’t see you nod, he chuckled over the line as if he did.

This time, when he comes home, grocery bags in hand, you run up to him to greet him. Never like you used to.

It’s funny, you almost jumped on the man, you almost hugged him, you stopped yourself before you could, your mind reminding you that he’s your captor. That you hate him, that he tricked you and he’s evil and- oh but he’s so warm. You haven’t felt physical affection for so long. And he’s just so big like a cuddly bear. And you just- you can’t have him leave again okay? This isn’t fault. You’re not about to hug him because you want to, okay? It’s just.. you don’t want him to starve you again ok? Really it’s not because you.. you think he’s so cuddly. You think he’s so warm and inviting. And you could smell the food wafting from the bags he held- did he buy takeout? Oh my god- and from your favorite fucking place-

You softly put your hands around his waist, head on his chest, just holding him gently, scared that perhaps that wasn’t him but some figment of your imagination.

“Oh sweeeheart, you missed me that much, hm?”

You just nod, feeling disgusted but oh so satisfied. You don’t wanna look at him, you know you’ll be met with some smug smirk, that smirk showing that he knows he won, that now, you won’t exactly take him for granted.

“I brought take out cmon.”

Tehe I’d let them take me 😋 anyway, thank you sm for the ask! Requests are open yall! Also feel free to give me commentary! I don’t rlly write so 😭

11 months ago
,,my One And Only"

,,my one and only"

11 months ago
My First And Last

my first and last

11 months ago
"Monachopsis // n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach-lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you'd be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home."
Film still from "Jujutsu Kaisen" season two.
Suguru sits on a bench in front of a distant window. He looks down at the floor below. He has long, black hair and bangs that fall into his face. Suguru has a somber expression and dark eye bags.
"There is a lump in my throat the size of a cherry pit and I haven't been able to swallow it since I was thirteen. I remember childhood like a play where my role was to always stand in the back. Nobody put me there I just ended up exiting behind all the lights and loudness. There was a heaviness to be good. To hold my breath because I would knock the house down if I wasn't careful. The ice was thin and I was terrified of breaking it."
"Life must go on; / I forget just why."
Cropped image from the Jujutsu Kaisen manga. Suguru sits on a black chair on top of a rooftop ,flipping through a book that he holds in his lap. Various buildings are visible in the background. There is a white towel draped over his shoulders. He smiles contently.
Nanako stands behind him as she cuts Suguru's hair. She is a young girl with blonde hair, wearing a school uniform. Her hair has been tied into a bun. 
Beside the chair, Mimiko sits with her knees to her chest. She is a young girl who wears a school uniform. She has black hair cut into a short bob. She holds a small plush to her chest.
"I am almost completely soulless. / I am incapable of being human / I am incapable of being human / I am living uncontrollably"
"Do we simply stare at what's horrible and forgive it?"
Film still from "Jujutsu Kaisen" season two.
Suguru stands on a brown, bricked floor, looking down at Riko. His hair has been tied into a bun. He wears a black school uniform. 
In front of him, Riko lays on the ground, dead. Blood has spilled from her head wound. She wears a white and navy blue school uniform.
"Who made you a monster? / Who made you a monster? / We're all afraid of you / We're all afraid of you"
"You stay quiet, while a war happens within you."
"I have survived everything but I fear that I cannot survive myself."
[Question] "Does he keep track of each and every cursed spirit he's ever ingested?"
[Answer] "Akutami: He does."
Manga panel page from "Jujutsu Kaisen."
The first panel is of Suguru. His head is tilted backwards adn his eyes are closed. He frowns as he swallows a curse. 
The second panel has white text on a black box. It reads: "The taste of a cursed spirit that no-one else knows..."
The third panel is a more up-close drawing of Suguru. His eyes have opened widely. The veins of his eyes are visible. 
The fourth panel has white text on a black box. It reads: "Like swallowing whole a cloth that was used to wipe up vomit..."
The fifth panel has white text on a black box. It reads: "Exorcised"
The sixth panel has white text on a black box. It reads: "Ingested"
"I was given a body that is falling apart"
"More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone."

"AT LEAST CURSE ME A LITTLE AT THE VERY END" // GETO SUGURU

pinterest // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen (2020-) dir. Shota Goshozono // pinterest // Edna St. Vincent Millay Second April // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen cr. Gege Akutami // Car Seat Headrest Beach Life-In-Death // Richard Siken Snow And Dirty Rain // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen (2020-) dir. Shota Goshozono // HAEL Who Made You A Monster? // pinterest // Cynthia Chapman // Gege Akutami 呪術廻戦公式ファンブック Jujutsu Kaisen Official Fanbook // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen cr. Gege Akutami // Car Seat Headrest The Ballad of the Costa Concordia // James Frey A Million Little Pieces

11 months ago
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.
YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.

YOURS, JUST THE WORD AND I WILL BE THERE.

1. letters to felice, frank kafka | 2. strangers, ethel cain | 3. overture (1992), helen frankenthaler | 4. desperation sits heavy on my tongue, a.m | 5. against the loveless world: a novel, susan abulhawa | 6. a green thought in a green scale (1981), helen frankenthaler | 7. wife, mitski | 8. ruth 1:16 | 9. lush spring (1975), helen frankenthaler | 10. no exit, jean-paul sartre

11 months ago

Fem SatoSugu🤍🖤 my beloved🌹✨

Fem SatoSugu🤍🖤 My Beloved🌹✨
11 months ago
— In The Arms Of Death, So Easily, Fatima Ameer Bilal.

— in the arms of death, so easily, fatima ameer bilal.

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