He Has No Idea What To Do, Because He's Not Trans, But Also That's So Sweet?!?? And Like?!? His Goons

We can totally do something with this

Deadman is basically a ghost that no one can see unless he's possessing someone's body. Except Damian. Damian can see Deadman even when he's in ghostmode. Which is a delightfully wild character trait to drop in. Can he see other ghosts and supernatural shit? Does he have any other weird death traits or powers?

From Knight Terrors #3

Well this solves the issue of Damian feeling that he's supposed to inherit WE even though tim is ceo

My boy has such a big heart, he simply can't help himself

nobody will ever speak ill of my son ever again he volunteers at the HOSPITAL bless him

also one step closer to dr damian wayne bc i think there’s beautiful writing in ra’s going from a doctor to an assassin raising his grandchild to be an assassin but damian wants to be a healer 😔

that or a vet just put that boy in med school

Oh no,,,

They hurt the baby yeti. It's his first day on earth and they insult him? Disregard his advice? Fire him because they are small minded humans who thinks that they know everything?

Phantom is going to chew them out for this

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

John had finally sucked it up and asked the big bad bat for permission to enter the city. He was expecting a lot of things, curses, demons, the feeling of someone walking over your grave, but what he was entirely unprepared for was the feeling of giddy happiness that washed over him when he entered the city limits.

He walked everywhere, from the rich mansions in Bristol, to the dingy streets of a place literally called crime alley, and no one even gave him a threatening glare!

This was deeper then he thought. This wasn't a demon harnessing curses, this was the spirit of the city itself shouting out in glee.

He had two options now; he could call in Deadman and try to talk to Gotham, or he could brace himself for the inevitable fallout whenever this temporary mood left, and batman tried to take on the force of who knows how many suppressed curses all by himself.

You know, hell is pretty nice this time of year.

DPxDC idea that has been floating around my head for a few months now:

Gotham, given its whole... thing with Lazurus Pools and general bad vibes, has a ghostly representative. Lady Gotham, when she bothers to be coporeal, looks like an influential lady from the 1920s, straight art deco elegance. A real classy girl.

Jazz is touring college campuses around the US. She has full ride offers from Gotham University, Metroplis College, and Star City State, to name a few. Danny, upon hearing that his sister is going to GOTHAM of all cities, decides he is going on this trip with her. He might be only 15, but his big sister isn't getting mugged while he has half an afterlife left to live!

Lady Gotham is all a flutter! Why the last ghost king was so frumpy! King Phantom is so handsome and powerful, and he is coming to her city. She absolutely has to show off her best side! She feels like a teenaged girl getting her home ready before a new beau comes to visit. She's flustered, she's nervous.

Meanwhile, John Constatine wakes up with cosmic alarm bells going off because something really, really bad is happening. He investigates to dicsover that for the past three days Gotham has not had a single crime.

No murders, muggings, hell not even a single jay walker!

Gotham the most cursed place on the North Or South American continent is suddenly more squeaky clean than whatever small farm town Superman grew up in.

No crimes, no smog in the air. Crime Lords seemingly gone in a puff of smoke, Assassins asleep in their beds.

Its so freaky. Even Batman is spooked and he is never spooked by anything.

Constantine is certain some demon or other nefarious being is harnessing Gothams cursed energy for some evil plot. Gathering the power to use it like a nuclear blast. Batman is concerned about mass mind control.

Lady Gotham is doing the metaphysical equivalent of hiding all of your stuff in a closet before a guest comes over because you dont have time to actually clean. She had to shoulder the thing closed! She just knows that when the lock fails there will be a huge mess.

Jazz and her family are just surprised about how nice Gotham U's campus is. She'd heard it was so dark and dangerous, but everyone is smiling and pleasant to her! Danny is just happy Jazz is safe from various villains.

So we have Batman investigating his rogues gallery for mind control plots, Constatine hunting for demons, Jazz and her family taking a walking tour of Gotham U, and Lady Gotham using every bit of her ghostly powers to make sure her damned, cursed city doesnt embarrass her in front of her crush!

Man, this is interesting! DC has so many characters it's hard to know all of them

Do my DPxDC brothers know about Phantom Girl????

Just wanted to check in with my DP x DC homies and make sure ya’ll know there’s a hero called Phantom Girl in Dc comics whose powers are all about intangibility and blowing shit up with “Negative zone” energy……

Now I’m just saying I think her and Danny would be friends and or they would beef over who has to go and change their names. She’s also an alien girl who was tragically stranded in another dimension for several decades who has aged strangely and no longer fits into the hierarchy of her home planet! So like you know if ur into space Danny vibes.

Anyway just wanted to make sure ya’ll knew, have a good day!

(art at the top done by me, art at da bottom done by Dc comics artist)

No but like, this is great, because Cass can help him get legal protections for being a meta, help him get bat gear, and all sorts of stuff when she finds out about phantom, they could be a hero duo! Black bat and phantom would be the perfect combination of scary and charming

Danny was forced to flee from his home universe due to the actions of the Guys in White.

At first, his new universe of choice seemed amazing! Sure the crime rate seemed higher than back home, but superpowers a known thing! If his powers are discovered, he’ll have actual legal protections! And better yet, they have actual living aliens!!

But then as he tried to integrate himself into a normal life, he found the catch.

Apparently, pheromones and associated “pack” instincts are an integral aspect of social interactions in this universe. And since he’s from a different one, he has neither.

It’s like being an outcast at Casper High all over again.

Without the pheromones, he comes off as uncannily flat to basically everyone he meets—never mind how he’s constantly missing context about the people around him. And even if someone does try to connect with him, it seems like his lack of pack instincts might make him come across as dismissive anyway.

He already struggled with social cues sometimes before, but this made things a million times worse.

Luckily, he’s already found a light in the darkness.

Cass.

He’s not quite sure how he befriended the quiet girl, but she’s the best. Even without having pheromones, she seems to just get him. Plus, she’s been indispensable in helping him learn how to understand and navigate social situations properly.

As far as he’s concerned, she’s basically an angel.

He gets the sense she was an outsider like him too once, though he hasn’t tried to pry into her backstory. The last thing he wants is to damage their friendship.

Which is also why he’s trying to keep his growing crush on the down-low too. He doubts she feels the same way, so there’s no reason to rock the boat.

Scones can and will judge your fashion sense

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

Bruce comes over and he brings Jason (he only agreed because Roy was going to be there) and Danny is like hooooo boy you are covered in ecto, what is with these billionaires and being ecto contaminated seriously, this is getting bizzare

Jason immediately falls in love with Danny's addicting ecto infused cooking, because his soul is starving, and now Roy's being ordered to bring food for the outlaws anytime they get together

Danny is pretty excited to make food for another not quite living person, because even though Oliver doesn't seem to notice, if too much ecto gets into the food it can change the taste, which non liminals don't tend to like

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

Excellent work, go give it a read, link is in the comments

the batfamily getting pulled over and Alfred telling the officer that there’s guns in the car and Jason immediately thinking everyone is narc-ing on him instead of Alfred just being strapped (legally) to high and holy heaven is still SO funny to me (and it’s my fic lmao)

How dare you- Kon is going to have so much trauma from his little brother dying- IN THEIR FAMILY LAB NO LESS- and he's gonna go to Tim and be like "what do you do when your family member dies??" And tims gonna be like "I got you dude, give me ten minutes and I'll break the time stream" "no- no Tim don't break anything-"

After Kon came back from being slightly dead, he didn't actually have a place to stay. Until he did.

He had fallen asleep in a park in some town in Illinois, dressed in his civvies, and was woken up by a lady and a man wearing hazmat suits.

At first he'd thought he was gonna be, like, experimented on and stuff, but they were actually really chill and practically dragged him along into their house.

They gave him a room, told him what time dinner was, and told him to stay as long as he needed to.

He met the couple's kids, Danny and Jazz, and kind of...got unofficially adopted. But it's cool! He's totally Big Brother material, and helping to wrangle a six and eight year old is something a Super can definitely do!

Years and years down the line, he gets a phonecall from a frantic fourteen year old Danny, saying just one phrase.

"Kon I think I fucked up. I think I'm dead."