Uuh Three Sentences MIGHT Turn Into Three Chapters, Fair Warning.

@roach-master idk why but i would get you this

shrimp friend. 🦐🥤

uhh . . . 1?

I have pet rats

I only know one language

I’ve almost gone to jail

uhh idk who to ping other then @drh3nryj3kyll

Two truths and one lie! Tag someone else to play!

1. I have a fake eye

2. I have a calico cat

3. I have killed 47 people!

@yippe3allthedamnnamesrtaken @number-2-hero-hawks

its funny cause people have actually written (satire) fanfiction about me

open tags idk

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this:

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz (How Fandom Would See You If You Were A Fictional Character)

Thank you for the tag @machiavellli !

STOP I SIMPLY FOLLOWED ONE TAG AND NOW MY TUMBKR FEED IS FULL OF THAT TAG

As a technum who knows very little about how technology actually works, I feel like those straight men who know nothing about the female body

i have way too many names 💔💔

Pluto- inspired off the God since i have a lingering hyperfixtation on him AND the planet since its my fav

Valentino- literally just Valentino from Hazbin Hotel. thats all

Bug- i kin maggots and like bugs in general

Myers- no idea where this one came from actually

Violet- just my birthname that i kept since it makes me seem like the pretty boy i am🔥🔥

open tags cause idk who to tag

Why is your name that?

Mine is this because when I first started tumblr I was hyperfixating on an OC called Oscar who got kidnapped by an evil doctor/ringmaster. (He was called Valentine which was ironic because Saint Valentine was a doctor who was a beloved figure and all of the people Dr. Valentine kidnapped to be in his show hated him. But also because he’s aroace and loves all his victims like pets but he’s namesakes with a holiday about non platonic love.) Valentine would do a thing where- You know how some taxidermists will make mythical creatures out of several different animal species’ parts? He would do that with living things. He would use surgeries and chemicals to combine living creatures together to make monsters for his show. There was also a carnival that he also owned that traveled with the circus/was part of it. And in that carnival was a “zoo” thing for artificial monsters who refused to perform. Like Oscar. So Valentine turned Oscar into a have snake. (Like the shape a mermaid is, but with a snake instead of a fish.) Valentine has chemicals that can make things grow more than they should to fit whatever creatures they’re supposed to be attached to. So he did that with the snake and mixed up it’s organs so that it’s brain could go in in its back somewhere and be connected up to Oscar’s brain so that they could communicate mentally. Now Valentine put the snake’s fangs, tongue, and vocal cords into Oscar’s mouth and throat (so now he can’t talk and he’s venomous.) But you understand. It’s still the snake’s brain controlling all the snake parts. And the snake would have conflict with Oscar at first. But then they would slowly meld into one consciousness because they can both feel each other’s physical sensations and emotions and they’re aware of all of each other’s thoughts, so like. Intuitively, I felt like they would stop being able to tell the difference eventually and just become different facets of the same person.

Anyway, Oscar really, really likes plants. He’s a gardener professionally and on his own because he grows a lot of his own food. (Made his own rain catching irrigation system.) So Valentine offered him a bunch of options for a new name. “Oscar” simply isn’t exotic or snakelike enough. And while Oscar wasn’t going to respond to anything other than his real name, Valentine was going to name tag him with whatever he chose, so it did actually matter. There was one single option for a new name that was anything related to a plant. He decided he would choose that one out of. I guess it was some sort of tie to what he used to do? The name was Basil. Oscar thinks of it as the snake’s name.

So Basil the snaking thing. Now I think I would rename myself “Parsley the Crow” since that’s more accurate to me, but everyone knows me as this and I have friends and branding to keep up with.

(Oscar eventually managed to grow a bunch of plants in his cage as an act of rebellion. Mostly ferns.)

okay, first of all, that lore is FIRE. second, branding is very important so good on you for maintaining your brand.

now, regarding myself, I am, as has been proven, a nerd. I am such a nerd, in fact, that my favourite band of all time is 2CELLOS, a cello duo comprised of Luka Šulić and Stjepan Hauser that has since broken up. I grew up OBSESSED with their music (I used to beg my mother to watch their music videos every day). they basically designed my pop culture taste. I got into AC/DC because 2CELLOS covered Thunderstruck. they covered the Pirates of the Caribbean theme, so I watched the films. I became interested in time travel (now a dear obsession) because one of their music videos involved them doing rocking cello solos in the Georgian era, and I began hc-ing that they travelled back in time to do it (this was when I was maybe nine). I loved them SO MUCH (still do, but now I also have other interests music-wise and pop culture-wise).

when I was around twelve or thirteen years old, I finally got the chance to go to one of their concerts; my grandparents were in town for my birthday, and as a gift, they bought me tickets to the 2CELLOS tour. at that point, I had just gotten into the internet and didn’t really have a brand or a consistent url, and I didn’t know what I wanted it to be. and then, at the concert (which was AMAZING), Luka played the cello so hard his bow broke. the coolest thing my tiny child self had ever seen.

that was the moment I forever became Luka’s Broken Bow.

funnily enough, for my birthday this year, I got tickets to go see Luka solo in concert in April. who knows, maybe he’ll break his bow again.

trans voxcest

BATTLE OF THE VOXES

just realized i haven’t been posting

hi guys

one of the worst things about being a writer is when you have to sit on your hands about a REALLY COOL SPOILER. and you just want everyone to know about the really cool spoiler you want them to know so so so badly but the best way for them to learn it would be to experience it and you also want them to do THAT so you’re just sitting on your hands vibrating and making a low whine while your dog looks at you with concern. and then your friends go “what’s wrong”. and you go PLEASE I NEED TO TELL YOU. and they go “oh okay so tell me”. and you go NO,

"HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HA-GURLGURGGU💦LGERGGU💦💦GERGUR💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦"