obama needs to get back to me quicker. i put in a request to have a guest appearance in my dreams months ago! i even paid extra for a quote! still haven’t gotten it tho.
I was walking through the mall and I headed into a Barnes & Noble, and Barack Obama was for some reason signing books there so I walked up, like ???? He wrote a book? Some biography?? When I got up to the desk, all the books were just lizards, and Obama replied to my inquires with a simple, “They may have no names, but there’s an identity to be acknowledged,” and he smiled as he signed another lizard and then there was something about a surprise dragon and then I woke up.
@aquietfather are you ok pal
I was visiting a friend of mine, staying over for the weekend, and realized I’d forgotten my toothpaste spoon. I asked my friend if they had a spare toothpaste spoon I could borrow, but they had no idea what a toothpaste spoon was. I tried to explain it to them, but they still didn’t understand, as they just stuck their toothbrush right into the bucket. They offered to loan me a tea spoon, but tea spoons don’t hold toothpaste the right way and aren’t as effective. It turned out their cat had a spare toothpaste spoon and I borrowed it, but it smelled slightly of sardines and made the brushing experience awkward.
we love them and will support them always but omfg look at these idiots! pHIL STOP SWALLOWING GLUE!!! omg dAniEL yOu dOnT neEd to bE iNcreDibly dEep and MeaNinGfuL alL the TiMe
love how the entire fandom collectively is like “this is dan and phil. they’re idiots, we hate them. but i have watched every single upload and will continue to do so for the rest of time.” like. ive never seen another fandom do that.
Has a silk bathrobe
Avowed bachelor
Wears a hat of someone else’s choosing
More rainbow headers!
Reblog if you use.
i really need to start reading urls. i about had a heart attack after reading “tom hiddleston is retiring from acting”
Tom Hiddleston is retiring from acting and he came to my university to lecture about Shakespeare. I jumped out of my window (I live on the fifth floor) to run to university to catch his lecture. There were zombies on the way so I Ramboed my way through them. I arrived to uni just as Tom revealed himself to be Loki and that he was also Shakespeare's real life muse.
was bored and decided to make a pjo boys misogyny scale
Reblog and put in the tags your 12 year old internet obsession
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
the point of “gender is a social construct” isn’t that gender is meaningless, it’s that we should be allowed to decide what it means