Someone Way Way Way Back In The Day, Probably Slapped Their Buddy's Arm And Was Like, "I Bet You Three

I keep getting inboxes like these. It's a spam bot with the same name over and over (3rd time I've gotten this same message) . Make sure to keep an eye out for scams.

Baby Fever pt. 2

New dad!König x new mom!Reader.

Fluff, post-pregnancy, post-birth, mentions of premature birth. Y'know, a sprinkle of angst. Bit it's all happy domestic stuff. Enjoy.

Your eyes fluttered open and you realize the baby wasn't crying. When you checked your phone, it was 2 in the morning. It was feeding time, so you turned over and climbed out of bed, not realizing it was empty on the other side. You hummed and went to grab one of the bottles out of the warmers, already filled with the formula but found there was no bottle.

You hum, exhausted mind turning over trying to think why you didn't prepare a bottle beforehand. And why your alarm didn't go off. You walk to the baby room and pause, seeing a dim light on, as well as hearing soft muttering. Walking slowly, you peak into the room...

König was standing in the middle of the room, your baby girl cradled in one arm, rather, one hand. His other hand held the bottle up for her. He was rocking and turning, talking to her. He had on his pajama pants, and slippers but no shirt on.

"Mommy's friends didn't like me. I think they were just jealous of her." He smiled down at her, taking the bottle away and setting it down. He throws the towel over his shoulder like you showed him and gently placed the newborn girl up, supporting her head. "C'mon, get those nasty burps out." He rubs her back then gently taps.

"Your mommy challenged me to a game of pool. I've played it a few times but I said yes. And she won, but don't tell mommy, I let her win." He chuckled. "Then she let me buy her a drink or two- ehm, they were soda drinks." He cleared his throat. Then smiled again. There was a soft muffled burp and she spit up. König laughed again and carefully maneuvered the baby and the towel to wipe her mouth clean. "That was a good one. Almost as loud as daddy's eh?"

You stayed leaning against the doorway, listening to König's stories.

"The doctors said you were born too early, and very weak. But I think that just proved those silly doctors wrong. Look at you, burping like a sailor! Oh don't cry meine Blume, I've got you. See?" He cooed softly and you heard the baby whine a little. König hummed softly and you heard him tapping her back, and then he laughed softly. "Did you poop on me? A fart. I knew you'd be more trouble than your mommy."

You couldn't help smile. You heard him go over to the changing table and carefully remove her diaper. You watched from the door as König winced. "You did a number in there. I wouldn't be surprised if you woke mommy up with that stench." He said as he cleaned her bottom. He threw the dirty diaper away and placed a new one on. He throws some powder into the diaper.

"When you came out, and the doctors told us you were a girl, I was so thrilled." He put the pajamas back on, carefully snapping the bottoms closed. "But they said you and mommy needed to stay in the hospital for a little longer. I got so scared for both of you, both of my girls. I ran out and bought your mommy a ring. I know, I should have married her before you came out...I was scared. But when you were born I was even more scared! What could daddy do except wait?" He sighed heavily and placed the baby girl against his chest.

"I didn't know babies could come out so small...you were tiny. They kept you in a little glass machine, I don't remember exactly why but, they said it helped you breathe. Ah but I knew better. They just had to keep you contained because you were a fighter. Ready to knock out the next doctor who told you otherwise." He pressed his lips to against her head and smiled. "And they said momma couldn't breastfeed you. She was sad, she thought she did something wrong but everything turned out just right huh? We're all here." He turned and smiled when he saw you standing at the door. "Ah. You did wake momma with your stinky bottom."

You sighed, some tears in your eyes as you walked over to him. With your daughter in one hand, he used his free hand to cradle your head to his chest. "Oh I'm sorry meine libeling, I didn't mean to make you sad." You shake your head and look up at him.

"No, not sad. Just happy. Happy sad." You shrug and sniffle. He gently ran his fingers through your hair and you spoke again. "How many times are you gonna tell her the hospital stories?"

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your head. "Until she learns to talk and tells me to stop. But maybe I'll tell her before she goes to her first day of school, or her first prom, or when she leaves for college." He takes a deep breath and slowly let it out. You could tell he was trying not to cry. "I wonder how close the colleges are here." You laughed and wiped your eyes.

"Stop talking about her leaving. You're making me more sad." You gently take the baby in your arms and kiss her head, rocking slowly. You felt König's arms encircle your body and his head on top of yours.

"I'm sorry. C'mon, let's get you both back to bed. My girls." His voice was soft, but tired. You nodded in agreement and gently set the girl down into the crib. You made sure she wouldn't fuss, then turned to König. Who then picked you up and carried you to the bedroom. He laid you down, kicked his slippers off and crawled into bed with you. You laid your head against his chest and you felt his hands finding their resting spot against against your thigh and back.

After a second, you mumbled against him. "Don't lie to our baby girl. You lost that pool game because you kept staring at my ass."

He laughed, making your head bounce. "I'm not telling our girl that."

"Then you can tell her you lost fair and square because you were so in love with me." You pressed a kiss to his neck. He leaned down and stole a kiss from you, then laid his head down.

"Maybe. But, maybe I did let you win." He was smiling and you grumbled in disagreement. "Sleep meine libeling. We'll settle this on our next pool game, drinks on me."

"Soda drinks."

A/n.: I'm sad, trapped in a stinky hotel. So I brainstormed this mess while watching Jurassic Park. I made it kinda sad but it's still all fluff. No more baby fever fic after this.

And, I thought about mentioning how reader can't breastfeed because my mom told me she couldn't for me. (For different reasons) But she said some trashy religious people told her if she couldn't breastfeed then she wasn't cut out to be a mom. And I know that today, there are still some people who find that using formula is 'unnatural' or 'cheating'. But I'm here to tell you, some people are literally just gonna try making you feel bad about everything. Do what you feel is the best thing, whether it's for yourself, for your child, for your pet, everything.

That was long. Sorry. Felt like ranting.

Here is my hoard

Works compiled:

RecomMiles x FemReader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Invisible Man x FemReader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

König x Fem!Reader

Part 1 Part 2

Baby Fever König

<3𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒<3 <3Part Two<3

Vampire!König x Human!Reader

Part 1 Part 2

A Fly on the Wall (Ghoap x reader)

Part 1

Murderer! Simon x Fem!Reader (Soulmate AU)

Idea Post

Soon to come...

Random Simon Stuff

Texting

Simon x college reader fluff

Simon x college reader fluff (reversed)

College Student Simon x Tutor! Reader(smut)

Simon the bully (your bf)

Oneshots:

Monster!König x Vet!Reader: Pt.1 , Pt.2 , Pt. 3, Pt. 4

Let me know if the links are too small to click, I checked to make sure they all worked though! Don't be afraid to like and comment! I love y'alls feedback<3 (The colors don't mean anything.)

Text message between you and Simon:

You: MY ROOMMATES CAT JUST HISSED AT ME AFTER PETTING THEM 😭💔😭

You: I THOUGHT THEY LOVED ME

Simon: cats are jerks, yeah.

You: Cats don't ever hiss at me! Am I bad??? Did the cat sense evil in me??

Simon: you're overreacting.

You: Would you hiss at me if you were a cat??

Simon: that's a weird question love.

You: ...would you?🥺

Simon: ...

You: ....

Simon: nah. I'd just leave hair all over ya like you do in my shower.

Monster!König x Reader pt.2

You guys liked the first one so I'll keep going.

Warnings: tentacles, curse words. Mate mention

M!König: Who left a bundle of fish wrapped in seaweed for you one day in front of the veterinarian building. Which the desk workers stumbled upon first, with no note. So they were disgusted by it and threw it away before you could see it. And König was pissed.

M!König: Who had to catch more fish but this time, he hand delivered it to you. He made his way into the vet once again and glared down at the desk worker, specifically the one who threw away that perfectly good batch of fish.

M!König: Who, when he saw you, presented the fish once again. It was dripping on the floor, the seaweed bundle. You smiled wearily and took the fish, looking over the different kinds. You thanked him and promised you'd eat all of them, even mentioning you favored one fish species that was caught in the bundle. "I know some good recipes for these."

M!König: Who... couldn't stop staring at you. Something was clicking in his head, something he really liked. He felt his tentacles beneath his hood stir and his eyes widened a bit at the realization. When it became quiet in the lobby, you asked quietly if you could look him over to see if he was healing properly. He nodded and followed you to your office once again. Once you two were alone and he lifted his hood, you put your gloves on and reached up, moving some of the tentacles aside.

M!König: Who was deeply embarrassed when his tentacles wrapped around your hands, more than last time. He said nothing. You commented that he was healing amazingly. Without muttering a word he pulled his hood back down and left the vet. You watched, confused and missing a glove because his tentacles wouldn't let go.

M!König: Who just fucked himself over by x10. It was only meant as a thank you, but when you happily took the bundle, stating you liked the fish?? He swallowed thickly and covered his eyes. He had to ignore this, the urge to take you as his mate. You were a human, he was not, this wouldn't work. Not that he knows for sure. But the urge to give you more, to provide and show you that he could be a good mate..it's not going away.

M!König: Who felt the funny glove taste in his mouth still and pulled the glove out from his tentacles. He stared at the blue piece of latex, thoughts bubbling in his mind, but he ultimately threw the glove away, his face red.

~~~

Vet!Reader: Who washed all the fish and wrapped them in something more sanitary to bring them home later. You'd be spending the slow parts of the day looking up other recipes for the other fish.

Vet!Reader: Who got playfully teased because the 'scary fisherman' was trying to court them. You'd only grin, looking away and typing on your phone. You then got curious and began to do some broad research on tentacle face people. And frowned when something called The Call of Cthulhu popped up, but you saved it to read for later. Maybe it could tell you more about your friend König.

Monster!König x Vet!Reader pt. 3

Did I hit 100 followers? I'm actually literally buzzing I'm so excited lol

A/n: I made a familiar character the bad guy, and I started color coding people except König. If I colored König he'll be green but for now he'll stay colorless.

Warnings!: Dog attack, rivalry, dog bite, violence(towards animal)

M!König: Who made another bundle of fish just for you. He made sure to catch more of the ones you stated you had liked. The lake he lives in was huge, and a river connected it to various other lakes so it was always stocked up. He knew he needed to stop this, so he promised himself that this would be the last gift. Then he'll have to leave, move to a different lake. Even though he didn't want to.

M!König: Who, when he arrives at your vet clinic, sees you speaking to an older gentleman who has a leashed dog at his side and a bundle of flowers in his other hand. You seemed frustrated and shook your head up at the man, who in response had shifted impatiently. Enter, Hunter!Simon, who was trying to convince you that one drink with him will be good for you.

M!König: Who walked up to the both of you, holding the bundle of fish and glaring down at the man. He has blonde hair, scars across his pale skin and grey cold eyes. But König's eyes could be colder. You looked between the two men, sensing some kind of conflict arising internally. Clearing your throat, you told Simon he should leave, and that you declined his offer.

Hunter!Simon: Who was staring up at König with a menacing look. Something was off about this guy. Was this the bloke that you were seeing? And why did he wear a hood over his face. He noticed the bundle of fish and snorted a little. "Tha' all you can catch? If you're tryin t' impress her, that ain't gonna do it." He stared up at König but the mans face never changed. Riley, his dog, growled lowly as König stood there and looked down at them.

M!König: Who glared down at the dog next. Then answered coldly, "What use would she have for flowers? At least I catch her food, while you lazily pluck her weeds." He nearly snarled. Simon threw the flowers down while his dog growled louder, crouching in an attack position. Simon was close to raising his voice, both in heated anger and because Riley was barking louder. You stepped in, pushing the both of them back which caused Riley to jump up to attack, but König was pulling you out of the way before it registered to either one of them.

M!König: Who took the full on harsh bite of the K-9, kicking the dog away while Simon angrily yelled at him. But you were telling at Simon to leave or else you'd call the police. König watched as you threatened the blonde man while using your body to shield the much larger man. It made his heart swell despite the bleeding bite wound.

Vet!Reader: Who watched Simon and Riley walk back to his truck and drive away. You were quick to help König inside and treat his wounds. You had some healing ointment and rabies shots lined up but König was quick to stop you, explaining this was nothing. You knew König was different, so... You trusted him on this. Then when König was standing up, you wrapped your arms around him in a hug. "You didn't have to do that...but thank you."

M!König: Who was blushing like crazy. His tentacles were more actively shifting beneath his hood but he hugged back stiffly. He cleared his throat. "I'm used to dog bites... And hunters." he shrugged. He watched you pull away and then your hand reached up to his tentacles, and some eagerly wrapped around your finger to which you smiled happily. He was a big blushing mess now but he wouldn't pull away.

M!König: Who was surprised when you offered to cook food for him. It's been a very long time since he ate cooked(human) food. But with you? He eagerly agreed. When you asked what he could eat, König proudly announced anything, except the funny tasting bottle drinks. You held back your giggles and he noticed.

A/n: Damn, this is sounding like a retelling of Beauty and the Beast🤦 Also ! If y'all don't want me to use Simon as bad guy I can change that. But I had a little background on Hunter!Simon.

Basically, after the war and he retired, he moved to this unnamed small town and took up hunting. Kind of a bad ending Simon cause it more or less makes him feel alive when he hunts. So instead of hunting for food, he hunts for fun. (Which, veterinarian you hates.) Hunting for fun and not food is a big no no where I live so I thought why not sprinkle conflict-

Like I said before, I can change his character so that it's not Simon but instead it's some random NPC with a shit name. Y'alls call.

I posted part 4 of the Recom Miles x reader...can nobody see it? I'm not sure 😕

Bruh my most popular post as of rn is the text messages between reader and Simon Riley.

Me after I wrote that whole story of tutor reader x Simon, and my most popular one rn is a few couple of lines.

So I thought I'd share this picture I drew of König at the beach where a bunch of kids keep asking him to throw them in the water because the man is huge. And I got this idea from a tiktok video but I cannot find them. It was basically if the whole 141 plus other COD characters had a beach day and how they'd act, and I think the first slides was about Soap finding seaweed and whipping people with it.

I drew this photo but the original idea is not mine. Please don't steal my drawing, I'm super proud of it.

So, to anyone who doesn't know. I live in the south. And guess what happened tonight??

It's been snowing! And never ever this much! So I've been playing in the snow like an idiot. Or like a big child. We may get up to 12 inches!! So enjoy the video below.