He Wants That Cookie So Effing Bad

He Wants That Cookie So Effing Bad

he wants that cookie so effing bad

More Posts from Queerjarreadyforwar and Others

2 weeks ago

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

2 weeks ago

Okay, so I try hard to cover global queer history, and this isn't marking a stop to that, but I am aware that most of my audience is American, and I want to address them very directly right now.

Google Removed Pride Month From Its Calendar App, and Stonewall National Monument's "LGBTQ" status was changed to "LGB" on the government website. This is the beginning of the erasure of queer history, not the end. I don't know what the future of the United States looks like, as someone who studies queer history and has done so for many years, I want to share some tools with you.

Now is a good time to prioritize local queer history, Making Gay History is a great project, so is the Digital Transgender Archive, but also check your city and see what resources there are.

Read and buy books about queer history. I have an affiliate list with some of the books I personally recommend.

If you use Google Calendar, repopulate that resource with so much queer history with a free queer history calendar plug-in, it has names from queer history that you can also learn more about for free when they come up. As the author of these articles, feel free to save them, print them off, whatever makes them freely accessible as suppression get's worse.

Use your local library. Email the board about book bans, request banned books, request queer books, and make your voice heard.

Make queer art. Share queer art. Protect queer art. Here is some public-domain queer art to use as you wish.

Keep up with queer news, THEM is a great resource.

All of these tools are currently freely accessible with an internet connection. Queer history is a community responsibility, do your part.

2 weeks ago
This Hurt My Brain

This hurt my brain

1 week ago
He Does Not Dislike Fun Park

He does not dislike fun park

2 weeks ago

Quotes

These are my quotes from my quote list

“my father is literally like a worm” -Adelle

“thou bearded one, grant us with thy wisdom” -luke to mr warren

“was your skin white when you were younger?” -Grayson

“walmart is a lawless place” -Mckenna

“i don’t want to die or be your minion, i want to be a good man!” -Grayson

“dude is our grandma gay?” -Asher

"I miss the og Germans, the ones in the 1930-40s" - luke

“iM a LiFeGuArD” -Grayson

“we’ll have to call the lifeguard, the emt’s, foster care…….” -Luca

(in a depressed manner) “welcome to choo choo charles train ride, made of magic and fun” -Grayson

“i want you guys to be safe, calm, and responsible” (in a material girl voice) -Grayson

"I'm not a mother" - luke  (a mother)

“do you like the feeling of my toes on your body?” -Emery

“if this was minecraft, i could drop anvils on you” -Mckenna

“He’s invincible, you dunk him and he comes back up and goes ‘mEoW’” -Asher

“HE PULLED ME OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE WITHOUT A LIFE VEST AND PROCEEDED TO PULL ME UNDER AND CHOKE ME FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES STRAIGHT” -Mckenna

 “If you can’t handle the bait, how will you handle the fish?” -Mckenna

“Asher: how do worms get down the stairs?

Mckenna: Barrel roll barrel roll barrel roll barrel roll barrel roll barrel roll-“

“(on a kayak paddle in the middle of the lake) WE WILL RIDE OUR BROOMS TO MEHICO! EHEHEHEHEHE” -Grayson

“Who’s the better pole dancer?” -Asher

“My butt juices are on the pole, watch out” -Grayson

“I was left in the middle of the lake with a giant Glizzy!” -Mckenna

“isn’t this unicorn abuse?” -Grayson

“so you want to f—- a boy worm” -mason

“i can’t, im locked in a crate” -EJ

“sir, the mexicans are no longer accepting our commands.” -misheard movie (ultraman)

 "I'm spreading my cream" -Mason

“Luca: (serious) I had a dream

Grayson: (singing) ThAt i wOuLd fLy aWaY”

(the sound of my sister yelling and things falling) “i hear them squabbling up there” -Grayson

“I’m using the buildings at ur camp to recreate 9/11” -Luke

“our new state is gentapeide (gent-a-peed)” -Grayson

“i don’t want to get lightning striked by zeus” -Grayson

“fee fi fo fe zeus is a stowaway” -Grayson

“But ur phone case looks rlly edible” -Luke

“kenna, I’m going to smack you across america” -Grayson

“I’ve come up with a good way to get children” -Luke

“when you put it in your mouth it gets really hard” -Luca

“If you don’t stop talking about the pee-nine-ale shaft, imma kill you” -Grayson

“i love him though, no matter how many times he smacks me aggressively and with vigor” -Mckenna

“Dad, what happens when the devil takes over your body? ask siri.” -Grayson

“U could probably get an employee discount at red lobster” -Luke

“Mckenna:Dad, why is Luca taking the same pill as me?

Emery: Because you have the same disease.”

“Are you cheating on me with hitler?” -Mckenna

"I haven't stuck my wiener in the virgins... yet" 

- Mason

 "Guys, the lights are off, let's love ourselves" -Mason

“The bloodthirsty centipedes are back for my toes” -Mckenna

"QUIT STICKING THAT PENCIL UP MY ASS"

Quinten 

Why are your hands covered in cream??? 

-Mason 

If my homie sends a dick pic I already know he's gay - Mason 

“grayson: What does jaundice mean?

Mckenna: babies can get it and it’s when their skin is yellow.

Grayson: Emery, you were a tellatubby?”

“i’m doing deliciously well my friend”

-Ciesil

“Maybe the real rockbridge was the friends we made along the way” -Luke

“I don’t understand womaneese” -Luke

“it’s rlly fun when u cram seven people into one bed, u have to fight to sleep next to ur pookie” -Mckenna

“Hank just plays dead until it’s his time to shine” -Luke

“It’s probably hard to know that your people are going to betray you” -Brynley 

“Mckenna: love is a four letter word.

Luca: so is Luca.

Mckenna: yeah but it’s ironic since nobody loves you.” 

“IM NOT MICROWAVE SAFE THO”

-Mckenna

“I can do it but i can’t use my full force in public” -Grayson

“I can’t be with you anymore. I’m allergic to ugly” -Ryder

“Would you spread your legs and run” -Jamie

“Patience is a virgin”

-Colette

“Isn’t Kentucky in canada? like right under mon tana?” 

-Garret

“im a former crank-ist”

-Mckenna

“If u want the rush then come to my house 😏”

-Luke

“All I remember was me beating a buncha prisoners with a plastic shovel and then drop kicking a raccoon “

-Luke

“Grayson: that was scary, i almost blew up the entire church.

Mckenna: What….

Grayson: yea with my sprite.”

“ما هو علاج حب 🧡 شباب البشرة و الحبوب و الحبوب” 

-Mckenna

“Oh yea my gfs having her 8th child. How old is she? 14. Are they my children? No they just spawn in or smth”

-Luke

“I just killed a guy with a bunch of chairs”

-Luke

“I killed Perry the platypus and now he’s prowling for revenge”

-Luke

“Dude I fucking love tentacles”

-Laurel

“i didn’t even break a tear” 

-Grayson

“The people who have my children are texting me” 

-Magistra Koon

“Good morning Kenna, you were in my nightmare”

-Emery

“Y do the turkeys go gobble gobble but it’s always them who end up being gobble gobbled ):”

-Luke

“when you die, your soul goes into a spaceship and you blast off into space and into heaven, everybody knows that, dUh”

-Grayson

“do you know the gums inside your teeth? like in your mouth? God put guns in your mouth and shot the holes and put your teeth there”

-Grayson

“Luca: you know what would be fun?-

Emery: snapping your neck open and eating all your insides and outsides?”

“can we go to popeyes?” 

-Grayson

“can we go to holiday inn?”

-Grayson

“Father: Kenna? are you going to come up and find some dinner?

Mckenna: are we hunting?”

“Mckenna: if you are lacking proper nutrition, eat your children.

Father: i don’t think so tim.”

“we were standing at the enolla gay, the plane that dropped the bomb at hiroshima. in the cockpit was a fan, and i said it probably gets hot in there. emery said “i wish i had a fan, im on fire right now” and i proceeded to say “you know what else was on fire?” but then i stopped my self and slowly looked at my dad and he gave me a look.”

-Mckenna

“this plane reminds me of you, dad. cus you’re THAT THICK” 

-Emery

“i think i’ve been possessed by amelia airheart”

-Mckenna

“see how many people are in their dumpsters, that’ll answer your question”

-Mckenna

“whip out your meat in the middle of homecoming” 

-Kade

“You’re built like a lincoln log”

-Mckenna

“the hustle and bustle builds the muscle, y’know? cus fighting off warlords is hard”

-Mckenna

“yea, my organs are guns”

-Grayson

“i don’t know about you guys, but im trying to stick my middle finger up with my toes”

-Grayson

“he’s got to open up them hips for childbirth”

-Mckenna

"I swear to god if you pull a satellite out of your back pocket."

-Mckenna

"BITCH U ARE GETO DID U FORGET WHO U ARE???"

-Mckenna

"Why tf do I keep making these weird gulping noises???"

-Laurel

"Yes, I've been going through extreme mood swings lately. Why? JEFFERY DAHMER! Bro is SO FINE, if I was a man, i would go he could take me home with him any day!"

-Mckenna and Laurel

“mannequin rizz”

-Mckenna

“we’re having bondage”

-Laurel

“it’s the beads…… they choke me….”

-Laurel 

"That's not my man that's a pedophile!"

-Mckenna

“Ya’ll better fix the wifi before i commit genocide”

-Mckenna

“i pulled a grandma”

-Mckenna

“Get rid of his hair and he looks like angry birds”

-Mckenna

“Who the heck is covid?”

-Garret

“Benny, i will castrate you”

-Luke

“i turned sixty a few years ago”

-Grayson

“if it’s flammable, you can light it”

-Coach Lacy

“it’s loud and then quiet, that’s how introverts roll. you never know about it because you never experience introvert-ing”

-Grayson

“His brain is the DVD logo and he forms a single thought when it hits the corner”

-Kade

“i feel like a forklift”

-Ezra

“i’m saving up to buy a unicorn”

-Jesse

“i’ve seen people in the streets”

Grayson

"Merry Christmas you FILTHY fucking ANIMAL"

Laurel

“i was born in jeminary”

-Liv

“you’ll be fine, grow up”

-Father 

“AW SON OF A BITCH”

-popo

“what did the little bastard get into now?”

-popo

“Their team just bitch slapped yall”

-Popo

“a ring? oh my gosh, she is marrying her dad”

-Emery

“quotes from popo? oh gosh nothing racist.”

-Mother

“my money said i have to buy a tropical aquarium”

-Grayson

“My skin’s coming off”

-Grayson

“Well I never knew strokes could be so fun”

-Laurel

“i’d like to be a cookie”

-Brynley

“the answer is jesus, because God”

-Lizzy

“Father: who’s the boss?

Grayson: A goat”

“Guys I love spiders you don’t understand”

-Kade

“you’re so lucky you have hair”

-Grayson

“checkers is the most easiest chess game ever”

-Grayson

“like a flesh vest?”

-Kenna

“this looks like a bootlegged big bird”

-Grayson

“Mom: i’ll scratch out your paper.

Emery: why don’t we scratch out his penis”

“mom: what is the longest bone in the human body?

Grayson: your penis”

“can we bring him home to work as our servant”

-Grayson

“(holding knife to my throat) kitty doesn’t need to live anymore”

-Grayson

“middle finger in the privates”

-Grayson

“you should see me in my predator form”

-Grayson

“i think they call me the bomber”

-Grayson

“that’s a bird, not an animal”

-Grayson

“tom riddle, tom shittle”

-Grayson

“THEY’RE IN LOVEEEE- nope never mind that’s a child….”

-Mckenna

“(get hit on the butt) OW MY CHIN”

-Grayson

“my gyatt is cold…. I need somebody to warm them up.”

-Mckenna

“well space is not real”

-grayson

“LIQUIDDD DEATHHHHH!!!!! old people in a CANNNN”

-Mckenna

“That’s not the surgery i asked for”

-Colette

“like, could u not poop your pants and wipe it on me?”

-Grayson

“i want a dead kenna for christmasssss”

-Grayson

“Maddie: Can you confirm that her parents are dead?

Luke: *running his hands into each other and making car crash sounds with a straight face*”

“we don’t need air”

-Grayson

“it’s like if Luca was dating a baby”

-Mother

“They’re old people, all they need is butterscotch and death”

-Grayson

“Mother: What position do you play in baseball?

Grayson: uh… A”

“my body does whatever it wants”

-Grayson

“i cannot be contained within the confines of a cage constructed of only peer pressure and societal built standards created to make us feel like we belong somewhere. 🤷🏻‍♀️”

-Kenna

“CATEGORY FOUR?!! That’s like one below category five!!”

-Grayson

“tall people are infertile”

-Kenna

“Mac and cheese and dumplings are not a breakfast”

-Father

“I’ve seen a deer eat a child”

-Will

“if i am ever in the bathroom when an actual intruder is here, i wont hide, ill just let it rip and scare them away”

-Kenna

“you cough like an ipad kid”

-Tracci

“they had butter in the trenches”

-Garret

“the sea hampsters have shells”

-Garret

“okay, be careful you don’t get it in your nuts”

-Grayson

“one time i had my older brother sit on my face and fart”

-Daiman

“Hahahoho I love hitting people”

-Jamie 

“*watches silently as a giant hotdog eating, soulless lepercon does a victory jig on top of thousands of mustard smothered dead disabled kids*”

-Kenna on a chat

Ryder: “we saw bumblebees reproducting”

Jamie: “did you really? That’s.. that’s science”

Kaden: ”in the air is crazy”

“you’re not basketball”

-Kenna

“i have a bad taste of smell”

-luca

“i don’t control the balls”

-Liv

“Me: Rizz

Father: i’ve got no rizz

Me: then how’d you pull her (points to mother)

Father: Jesus”

“my armpits are lubricating”

-Kenna


Tags
2 weeks ago

this is helpful.

queerjarreadyforwar - "My Grandma" Jokes ✨
1 week ago

better question, why you both butt naked…..

/j

Death Note + Dmcb Crossover Bc I’m Evil

death note + dmcb crossover bc i’m evil

1 week ago
Justdavina From San Francisco Is 100% 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈

justdavina from San Francisco is 100% 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈

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queerjarreadyforwar - "My Grandma" Jokes ✨
"My Grandma" Jokes ✨

i am a (i hope) kind christian, Ace, Genderflux (They/She) i come equipped with much lore. true crime is my life. italian jokes are what im made of. and stupid people make me laugh. i'm also 15. (a minor for the few who don't get the memo) i have an OC for each of the following: PJO, Divergent, KNY, Death Note, Creepypastas, COD, JJK, The Outsiders

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