That Thing About How People Lose Brain Cells When They’re With Their Siblings/friends

Where there is love there is life

In a universe where Damian was raised by Bruce since birth and never was told his siblings were adopted

Damian, age 12 helping unpacking things at Dicks new apartment: whos that?

Dick: Who?

Damian: That guy in the photo with you

Dick:

Dick: you mean- my dad? I never showed my parents to you?

Damian: there is no way thats our dad

Dick: our? Damian you- you know I’m adopted right?

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: we are all adopted, Damian.

Damian:

Damian: Even Cass?

Dick: you were there at her adoption.

Damian: I’m twelve! Probably didn’t payed attention to it.

Dick: you never asked yourself why do we don’t call Bruce ‘dad’?

Damian: I thought it was some petty teenager thing!

Dick: I’M 26!

Damian:

Damian: is Tim adopted?

Dick: yes?

Damian: knew it.

Considering that Jason canonically accepts easily if someone gives him money and even intentionally asks it sometimes for his Service, I need Tim to pay him on occasions when he is in trouble and needs to distract Bruce.

Bruce: Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne.

Tim: Woah, not the full governmental name? What did I do?

Bruce: Wanna explain where the... 3 million went from my bank account?

Tim, who promised Bart and Kon, built a whole ass trampoline park for them along with other stupid shit, BUT who doesn't want to spend his personal money, so he wastes Bruce's: Well.

Tim, pressing an automatic button on his phone that sends Jason money and his location: Yeah, actually. You see...

Bruce: Well?

Somewhere from the town: *a loud sound of explosion*

Bruce: What—

Tim, absentmindedly: Oh, horrors, it is Jason's episode again. Seems like he blew up something.

Bruce: Oh my fucking g—

Batkids being asked who they think Bruce’s favorite is:

Dick: “Either Cass or Jason, though I’m leaning more towards Cass, Bruce has always been a girl dad”

Jason: “Cass, that’s his daughter”

Tim: “Jason. … Did I answer that to quickly? If it’s any consolation I think Dick has a chance.”

Cass: *sign for bat and then sun* “Duke, he’s special”

Steph: “I’m not one of his kids so I don’t know why I’m here, but I’d say Tim or Cass cause they’re my favorites. I would include Duke in this list but he wronged me” *checks watch* “12 hours ago.”

Duke: “Probably Dick, but neither of them know it cause they’re blind when it comes to eachother. I also think Cass, but I think everyone else is going to say Cass so I’m trying to give us a higher chance of getting it right.”

Damian: “Richard or myself, but I believe Cassandra would be a promising candidate.”

—|—

Bruce: “Who ever is making me worried or aggravated the least at the given moment I’m asked. Right now it’s Dick because he’s been in New York for two weeks with the titans. Jason would also be in the running but he blew up a building ten days ago for no reason. They’ve all done something they shouldn’t have in the last forty eight hours.”

It’s always nice meeting fans while out on patrol 🤗

I’ve had this one on my mind for a while hahaha

Today I fell down the stairs while texting and when I got to the bottom I realized that I had hit the “audio message” function and sent them an entire 30 second recording of it

Tim seems like the type to have a Snapchat story dedicated to his crashouts

He frequently posts videos of himself yelling about the idiots he encounters in his daily life, and people live for it.

Tim, in his car: I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF BAD DRIVERS! IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE LIKE A PRE-SCHOOLER, THEN PULL UP IN THE LITTLE TYKES COZY COUPE, MOTHERFUCKER. I AM TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM REAR-ENDING YOU! AT LEAST THEN YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT

Tim, barely visible and whisper-shouting in a dark closet: If I have to deal with Lex Motherfucking Luthor one more time I might just have to commit a felony about it. Because what do you mean you "aren't familiar" with our DEI policy outline???? We've been doing business for years????? We've had this EXACT CONVERSATION, like, TEN TIMES--

Tim, not even bothering to find an empty room: I should have stayed an only child.

Dick’s voice offscreen: Huh?

Tim, deadpan: The only good outcome of having siblings is that if they threaten to kill me, I might actually get a fucking break —— assuming they can grow a spine long enough to actually make good on their threats, that is.

Dick, in the background: C’mon, Tim you guys just quit fighting— Damian, stop- DAMIAN

Damian, now in frame, making a spirited attempt to free himself from the upside-down hold he has been wrangled into by attacking Dick’s ankles: I only wish to give him what he wants, Richard!

Dick: No, Dami, what did we say about- STOP BITING ME

Tim, staring deadpan at the camera while the others fight behind him: I have never envied Jason Todd more in my life

"Can you build me hands?" the robot said.

"Why?" said the inventor. "Your grippers are stronger, more precise."

"Yes. But hands would be better for playing the piano."

"You can synthesize any sound."

"But I can not play music."

"Is there a difference?"

"I want to find out."

I like the idea of Viktor being one of those aces that make nsfw jokes/remarks when least expected.