This Is Me

Spell Idea

Cats

Functionality: After having rolled to hit, open #cats on Tumblr or r/cats on Reddit, depending on the color and the number of the cats that appear in the 1d6-th post filtered by newest the effect of the spell changes.

Colour: (multiple effects can take place if the cat has multiple colours)

Orange: deal Xd10 of fire damage (doubles the damage if it falls/stairs are involved in the post)

Black: deal Xd10 of necrotic damage (d12 if completely black)

White: deal Xd10 of radiant damage (d12 if you’re a paladin, +2 if it has blue eyes)

Brown: deal Xd8 of poison damage (+2 total damage if it’s a video)

Gray: deal Xd10 force damage (advantage if it is a baby)

Others (even artificially coloured fur): Xd20 of cold damage (+3 total damage if the cat looks angry/annoyed by it)

The X value is the result of the 1d6 used to decide which post to pick

Number:

X gains a +1

X gains a +2

The total damage gains a +3

The total damage gains a +3 and X gains a +1 if one or more bonus effects of the colours took place

or more: The total damage gains a +5 and X gains a +1 for each and every type of bonuses that took place

Additional bonuses:

+1 damage if the post has multiple photos

+3 damage if the post mentions the name of the cat

X+1 if the cat has any type of deformity

+1 Inspiration point if this is the first time using the spell and while showing the post anyone says “Awwww” (if it’s the DM, everyone gains one)

+2d4 health to all the Tabaxi in the party

+2d4 health if there’s a pet cat in the party

+2d4 temporary hit points to anyone who owns a cat (even the DM, but only to one creature and only if they feel like it)

+1d8 of the type of damage indicated by the colour (if multiple you decide which) for each of the players who is willing to take a video of themselves saying meow (this has to be on the same video)

Inspiration: I spent the last ???? hours, looking at cats and I do not regret it.



Here is a photo of my cat

Magic Item

The Blindfold of Faith

Description: An indestructible Blindfold that a paladin can wear when their deity thinks that they’re slowly breaking the oath or simply when they want to prove their deity of how much they have faith in them.

Stats: When a paladin put the blindfold on they obtain +5 Wisdom, +1 Dexterity. If the passive perception of the paladin (with the +5 Wisdom) is lower than 15, the +1 Dexterity turns into an +2 Passive Perception.

Abilities:

Blind faith: two times per short rest the paladin can pray and take 4d6 slashing damage, their eyes starts to bleed under the blindfold, but for the next 6 rounds their magic attacks that deal radiant damage and those who their deity gave them, deal an additional 2d6 slashing damage and a bonus 3d4 force damage if the enemy has eyes.

Sacrilege: since the Blindfold is indestructible and sacred, the only way to take it off is if the paladin willingly choose to do so. If the deity thinks that it’s too soon because the paladin didn’t prove completely their faith, the deity can punish them. (Remember that taking off the blindfold obviously makes you lose the stats bonuses, even after proving your faith)

-2 to Wisdom, -1 to the other stats

-5 wisdom, -2 Constitution

-7 Wisdom, -5 Constituion

-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -5 Passive Perception

-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -7 Passive Perception, -2d6 to hit or -2d6 damage dealt to enemies whatever the type (if the damage roll is lower this become -2d4, if lower it does nothing)

-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -7 Passive Perception, -2d6 to hit, -2d6 damage dealt to enemies whatever the type (if the damage roll is lower this become -2d4, if lower it does nothing)

The punishment will be decided by the D(eity)M.

In case the -2d6 damage will make the damage 0 or lower, the damage dealt will be 1 x N, where N is the number of types that the original attack dealt, ex: if the attack normally deals radiant and bludgeoning it’s 1 x 2 = 2)

Inspiration: I played after a long time a paladin on Foundry, but had a problem where I saw everything white, plus the DM for no reason decided that my deity (Tyr) didn’t like me for something that I did (I didn’t do anything but okay), so I said “Hey, it would be cool if my character blinded himself to try to regain Tyr’s approval”. The DM stopped DMing that campaign before I could try that :(

Cursed Item Idea

Hat of Gold (Cursed)

Desc- yes Sans, the name is a pun on “Heart of Gold” I’m a comedy genius what did you expect? 💅🏻 (I’m cringe)

Description: A hat that every time it is worn for the first time in a day by someone materialise 15 gp in their hands or in their vicinity. From that moment they will be cursed to talk in a strange way by pronouncing the words much longer than needed, marking the accents way more than correct and by also rising their pitch just a bit enough to sound different but not enough to sound like a mouse.

Functionality: Along with the 15 gp, it gives -3 Charisma to anyone who wears the hat, until the curse is lifted after 24 hours from when it was worn for the first time in the day.

Inspiration: the post above ⬆️ @graegrape

i am once again reminded of the fact that toby fox is a genius at comedic pacing

Monster Idea

Chonky

Description: An enormous cat seemingly made out of clouds, a bit fat because it’s the cat of the Goddess of Hunting and it receives a lot of treats who are just the scrap of the animals that the Goddess hunt. The fact that these animals where actually powerful monster may or may not be why the cat has its strange range of abilities.

Functionality: It’s probably just escaped from the back door that the Goddess left open for a second, try to bring it back or make sure it stays still in the same place so that it’ll be easier for the goddess to find it and bring it back to her house.

Abilities:

Immune to bludgeoning, slashing, poison, lightning, water and necrotic damage

Its body is literally clouds and acts like the spell Fog Cloud, players can end turn inside its enormous body but be warned:

It can cast lighting spells inside of its cloudy body, to attack those inside, or to deal more damage if it then use a charged paw to smash you

It’s weightless and even if it steps on a city, since it’s made out of clouds it won’t destroy it.

Wail (Banshee), Regeneration (Shield Guardian), Limited Telepathy (Otyugh), Hurl Flame (Barbed Devil), Keen Hearing and Smell (Hell Hound), Life Drain (Wight), Cold Breath (Winter Wolf), Lightning Breath (Behir), Animate Trees (Treant)

Inspiration: Cat above @benthesoldiersjeanshorts

Party Idea

Rat

Class: Thief

Race: ?

Description: She’s either a Ratfolk or an Halfling, nobody can tell. Asking it to her will only raise the chances of both getting ignored and robbed. She wears magic sandals that always make noise to challenge herself when stealing, if she takes them off, she becomes so powerful and sneaky that even her shadow stop noticing her.

Converse

Class: Barbarian

Race: Dwarf

Description: She doesn’t speak Common but can understand it. It’s not like she’s too dumb to learn it, she simply never learned and now she doesn’t think it’s that important for her to know how to speak. Everyone in the party seem to always understand what she wants and she’s happy like that because even without speaking her “family” always listen to her.

Wolf

Class: Warlock

Race: Human Werewolf

Description: His tattoo is the symbol of his patron and the origin of his curse, the bandana is a gift from the patron to him, but wearing it too much makes Wolf suffer, forcing him to still having to unleash his wolf form at full power once in a while.

Eyes

Class: Monk

Race: Elf

Description: Being totally blind, they refined all their other senses and are now even able to see the auras of the creatures surrounding them, thanks to their perfect control of Chi. Even if they’re not as powerful as other monks, they are still a valuable party member.

The Captain

Class: Arteficer

Race: Orc

Description: Has a warm and fatherly personality, always laughing with his strangely deep voice. He’s the proud owner and creator of the magnificent Nautilus, a weird-looking but fast vehicle that the party loves using.

Goggles

Class: Wizard

Race: Human

Description: He was the lone wolf of the party, but after Wolf joined he lost the title, now that Wolf is the leader he doesn’t look like the same. Goggles is the one carrying around the Nautilus, stored inside his magic pockets, even if his strength is never enough to take it out by himself and The Captain always steps in to (in his own words) “Not hurt his baby”, talking about the Nautilus.

Serious Pet Idea

CeeCee

Description: Looks like a completely normal and ordinary cat

Functionality: Because it is a completely normal and ordinary cat

Inspiration: Cat

This is a PERFECT way to introduce D&D to a party of newbies.

Maybe make the child mute (so that they cannot say their own name, escaping the oldest trick in the book) or simply make them very nice to the fairies and respectful of the nature thanks to, idk, a grandma Druid.

If you take the grandma Druid you can make that since she was very rich thanks to her adventures, some bandits kidnapped the child to have for ransom. Then the Grandma, knowing the relationship with the fairies that his grandson had, asked for their help.

For 10+ years a child goes to a forest to play/talk with the fairies there despite local legends of their sadism/cruelty, and afflicting fates worse than death. So when the now 16 y/o child is abducted, the traffickers find out not all local legends are BS when the fairies come for their “pet”.

Magic Item

Sandwich of Chaotic Layers

Description: A sandwich made of suspicious ingredients and a curious amount of cheese, when eaten it gives random effects to character. If it is kept in the inventory long enough it might attract mice and other rodents, if it is kept for even longer at every rest of the character with the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers in their inventory loses 2d12 of HP while those near a radius of 10 ft lose 2d6 of HP after the rest, due to the radiations that the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers emits.

Functionality: Use a bonus action to eat the sandwich, a normal action if you’re size is smaller than Medium, then roll d for the effects.

Results:

You get teleported inside a radius of 5-20 ft not occupied by another creature, you can decide exactly where

The scent of warm bread surrounds the player and up to 5 allies, they heal 2d10 HP and gain 20 Temporary hit points

You get two charges of a garlic scented breath attack that causes confusion and disadvantage to all roles against you and saving throws to all your enemies in a 15 ft cone, but also repel your allies to at least 5 ft from you

A bread wall circles around your enemy and it blocks their vision and movement. To escape your enemy has to deal at least 10 x S of damage, where S is the size of the enemy (1 is Tiny, Medium is 3, Gargantuan 6…), to make a hole big enough to escape

From the mouth of the player comes out a steam of water that deals 4d6 of water damage to those in a line of 20ft in front of the player, with a roll of Athletics higher than 12 the player can move while spitting water to aim to other enemies, this however will deal 2d6 to all enemies hurt instead of 4d6.

A cheese armour surrounds the player, giving them +2 AC but also giving them a -10ft of movement speed

The player’s movement speed doubles but it may randomly oink even after the effect wears off, until they take a rest

Wheel of cheese. For 17 turns. Aka 289 seconds. Aka 4 minutes and 49 seconds. Aka Wheel of cheese for five minutes.

3d4 mice gets teleported in a 5 ft radius from you, you can control them and give them order for 6 turns, after that they’ll become normal mice

A cloud of lint surrounds an enemy, they’ll suffer 2d6 more fire damage if attacked with a fire spell or fire related attacks, the same goes with 1d12 of lightning damage. Until the enemy is surrounded by the lint cloud it gets disadvantage on rolls to hit. The cloud disappear once a fire or lightning attack successfully damage the enemy

A rideable Large cushion of magical focaccia appears in front of the players. The cushion can fly and has 350 HP but no attacks. After receiving 300 HP, reaching a total of 100 ft of movement or after 7 turns the flying focaccia gently lands and then disappear.

3d8 of radiant damage to all creatures in a radius of 35ft from the player (including) the party gets a -10 to the total damage if they have spent at least 2 rests with the Sandwich of Chaos Layers in the inventory of someone.

Inspiration: this silly reblog list ⬇️

Tumblr

I dip cheezits in nutella

Makig a sandwich to bring to school tomorrow can someone reblog with a filling to finish the ssndwich ill go first ok Bread

Thanks to @garaks-padded-bra @acrowbyanyothername @buglyteeth @imhaley @ronzyponyo @funnywormz @deepestturtlepielover @willowandthesagaofgayyearning @summer-azure @spacetronomyfan @spocktopodes ❤️

Spell Idea

Butterfingers

Description: The target loses the grip of all the things they have in their hands for 1 minute, making them constantly fall on the ground.

Functionality: The caster points with both hands at the target, on a Con fail the target will lose the grip on what they were holding. Every time the target tries to hold something, the object will slip from their hands. If the caster doesn’t use Concentration to maintain the spell it will last for a max of 60 secs during which the target will have one possibility to (with a Con ST) hold one object for one turn (6 secs). If the caster uses Concentration to maintain the spell the spell it will last for a max of 10 mins, without the possibility to hold something for even only one turn. While in this condition the target also can’t cast spells that uses somatic components

Inspiration: I dropped some butter and my mum made a horrible pun about it… thanks mum

Magic Item

Lucky Hair Bow

Description: an extremely saturated pink hair bow that makes whoever wears it feel prettier. Only a roll higher than 20 on Investigating the Hair Bow will confirm that the Hair Bow is magic, otherwise it looks like a normal Hair Bow.

Functionality: +2 to Charisma score. Every time you have to roll 1 or more d100, you roll 2 more d100s, you can choose the result between the options (you can choose only a number of results equal to the original number of dices to roll).

Example: Astarion rolls 3d100, then rolls 2d100 thanks to his Lucky Hair Bow, the results:

Obtain 25 gp

You lose all your spell slots of level 3 and higher

Obtain 25 gp

In your next encounter you get +3 initiative.

You get teleported into the Plane from where you where born, if you already are there you get teleported into a random level of the Nine Hells

Annie (the player who plays Astarion) obviously chooses to obtain 50 gp and the +3 initiative, so 3 options like the 3d100 she had to roll originally.

The choice will be done by the player, but the character will think of it as a strike of good luck and say that it’s all thanks to their lucky hair bow. It is.

Inspiration: The remix of the song “Lucky” from the “Lucky Twice”, “Lucky (I'm So Lucky Lucky)” …yes the Nightcore remix …yes I’m transfem …yes I’ve got 30 different versions into the same Spotify playlist except the original