Latest Posts by seera-li - Page 4

pulling your lover into your lap, making them straddle your hips

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Smut, 18+ ONLY

A/N: Welp. This got longer than I intended it to be

[100 Kisses Masterlist] // [Main Masterlist]

The sight of your favorite redhead sitting on the couch has you grinning. “You’re home!”

Natasha looks up from her book, face turning into a smile when she sees you making your way towards her. Your girlfriend had been out on a weeklong mission and you didn’t think she was getting back until the end of next week.

“Caught all the bad guys early,” Natasha supplements before you have a chance to ask.

“I’m definitely not going to complain about that.” 

When Natasha reaches her hands towards you, you grab them, letting out a laugh when she pulls you down into her lap. Your laugh quickly turns into a gasp when you feel something hard prod at you.

“Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?”

You can feel the smirk against the side of your cheek before Natasha even says the words. “Why don’t you find out?”

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Too Important

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, a little bit of angst if you squint hard enough, fluff.

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: This was a little hard for me to write but I poured my heart and soul into it so I hope everyone loves it. :)

You met Natasha in your first mission as a SHIELD agent. It felt surreal to say the least.

You looked up to her from the very first minute because she made every move, every ability and every skill look easier than it actually was. You'd pay attention to her every move, all in adoration.

She must've noticed it, because she started passing by you in the SHIELD corridors and immediately send a sweet smile your way.

You wished you were more like her.

You quickly became acquainted to each other. You were always training together, talking, laughing, her hand would would place itself on your biceps whenever you made a bad joke, you even went as far as thinking she was flirting with you.

She became more active at the compound, in the training room at the same time you were. She'd watch your every move in adoration just like you did to her.

She'd be up at 4am everyday, and you grew a habit of waking up as early as she did so you would have breakfast together because you didn't know when you would see each other again throughout the day.

Natasha felt appreciated, you were certainly not a morning person, but you'd make an effort just to see her, and she'd kiss your cheek with a small smile and begin her chores for the day, it almost felt like nothing could defeat her.

That was until you had looked at her SHIELD files at the first opportunity you had and you found out she had a story that led up to her becoming a Black Widow.

You ended up knowing more about her hard infancy, about her mother, about the Red Room, all about her missions... you became aware of what they had done to every widow to make them more efficient, making you red, you had fumed in anger.

And you thought that maybe the only thing that could actually defeat her was her own past.

Sometimes it was hard to notice it. her eyes never stopped glowing, but if you squinted hard enough, she would let you see the tiredness in them.

One day, the only time you saw her was late at night in the showers, right after she finished training. She was in her gym clothes, sweaty and hair all over the place, you still loved the sight. She stood quietly, head staring at the wall in front of her when she thought no one was there. Her eyes held a weary look, a sigh following behind.

You had wondered: what if things had turned out differently for her, what if she had had a partner, kids, a mom and a dad, what if she wasn't a avenger, what if she didn't wish so badly to wipe the red out of her ledger... who would she really be?

Just a few moments went by and her eyes soon followed yours, her spy sense never faltering. Her look went from weary to hard at the sight of someone there, quickly realizing it was you, she dropped the façade and gave you a small smile telling you to come in. 'Hey... what're you up to?'

'Oh nothing, I was passing by and I saw you... you okay?' Worried was evident in your tone and in your eyes too. Her smile faltering just a bit and coming back just as quickly, you would've never noticed it if you weren't a spy.

'Yeah, I'm alright, just a bit tired' it was an obvious lie.

You had spent so much time with Natasha that lying to you was becoming a harder task to do, like her walls weren't as up, she was becoming more human around you and you loved it.

You placed your arms on top of her shoulders and brought her in for a hug, gently placing a sweet kiss on her forehead.

Stunned, she took a minute to hug you back, but once she did, she squeezed you in her arms and pressed a kiss to you neck making you shiver.

'Well, I'm glad everything's okay. I just worried. You're too important.'

You let her go and the look she gave you made you believe she didn't really think she was important. It was almost a melancholic sight. Eyes seemingly off in an unknown insecurity you had never seen in anyone before. You felt the need to bring her back to your arms but you held back.

She nodded and looked at you then. Kissed you on the cheek and went back to the showers taking her clothes off, a small gasp coming from you and a smirk in her lips, eyes still prominent on you as she undressed.

You were never prepared to see her naked, not when just in previous minutes her eyes held a saddest gaze you've ever seen. But she had a naughty smirk on her face and you wondered if what she was doing was one of her many Black Widow moves.

But you forgot all about it when she placed her plump limps on yours. She didn't particularly taste like anything but her mouth screamed neediness and want, even more when she placed you gently against the wall and made you touch her nude breasts that were displayed for you and you only.

It made you feel things, you knew your panties were a mess, and deep down you knew it was wrong; she was deflecting her insecurities and sadness on what she was doing to you, but all you could think about was her hands all over the place... when she lifted her leg up and placed it on your waist... how it felt when you knee came in direct contact with her womanhood, when you realized how wet she was and how turned on you were.

You made her come thrice then, before showering together and finally parting ways to your respective rooms after a chaste kiss. You knew you wanted to be with her and she knew that too. Was it a Black Widow move?

She became distant after that, much to your dismay. You had noticed the subtle bags under her eyes whenever she was up for breakfast, but you weren't brave enough to ask her what had happened, you didn't want to come off as selfish, to think that the reason she looked smaller was just because of you. Maybe life had gotten in the way, so you gave her space.

Maybe that had been the wrong move; you found out later through a co-worker that Natasha had been having a fling with another agent, someone who took her for granted and bragged to all of his friends that he had been with the "hottest, dirtiest chick in the game". It had brought tears to your eyes once you heard it but you never let them fall. You felt betrayed, thinking you and Natasha had something special. You realized all along it was only one of her Black Widow moves.

You didn't know how to approach her, how sad she looked having dinner by herself one night, you felt bad, you thought that it wasn't her fault if she had lead you on, maybe it had never been her intention.

She looked at you, tears in her eyes, but she did the opposite of what you did, she let them fall. She had been broken a long time ago, before becoming an avenger. She had been broken at birth.

She looked younger with a pout between her lips and a frown, 'Am I still too important to you?'

You sighed and this time you didn't hold back from bringing her into your arms. You had whispered she was more important than anything you've ever had. She had sobbed on your shoulder saying she was sorry.

'What are you sorry for?'

'I was scared. I never had someone care so much for me, please tell me you still do' voice as small as an ant, head now cuddled into your neck.

'I do' her arms grasped your waist tigher.

You were wrong, it has never only been a Black Widow move, Natasha Romanoff had you and you had her too.

The Blind Date - Series

gif creds: @lcufeysons

Summary: Hilarity and a whirlwind adventure ensues when your best friend Sam sets you up on a blind date.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

pulling your lover closer by the waistband

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 633

[100 Kisses Masterlist] // [Main Masterlist]

Moving out of the compound was one of the best decisions you ever made. 

Don’t get you wrong, you loved living with your friends. But after living under the same roof as seven superheroes for over five years, you were ready to rip out your hair. From interrupted date nights to the lack of personal space, all you wanted was some peace and quiet every once and a while. 

So when you and Natasha finally tied the knot last year, she brought you out to a lakeside house, surprising you with two matching sets of keys. 

Keep reading

Someone Who Answers

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: A small drabble where the Reader calls Natasha in the middle of the night.

Words: 600

You weren’t sure how long it had been since someone had answered your calls or texts.

It wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends. You had plenty. They were just busy with family, and life, and work. You were happy for them. Truly. You just wanted to talk to someone. You needed someone. And they left you with no one.

No one, except for Natasha Romanoff.

Even though you had her number in your phone, even though she said, all those years ago when she’d met you during some secret operation, that you could call her at any time, you had never done anything more than glance at the number. After all, Natasha was a very, very important woman. She had better things to do. Like save the world, or kill corrupt politicians, or clean her guns, or whatever the hell the Black Widow did in her free time.

You did everything you could to not call. You went through every possible excuse. She was working, she was saving the world, she was with a friend, she was practicing martial arts. All of them fell flat when, in the middle of the night, you found yourself aching for connection, however slight.

So, despite everything, you pulled your phone out, found the number, and pressed “Call.”

The second you pressed the button, you regretted it. Your heart felt to the pit of your stomach, your breath quickened, and your palms turned sweaty. The phone rang once. You pulled the phone away, preparing to hang up. The phone rang twice. You stared at the screen, waiting for something. You weren’t sure what for. Nothing happened, you didn’t get any signal, so you reached for the “End Call” button. But before you could press the button, a voice interrupted you:

“How did you get this number?”

You instantly brought the phone back up to your ear, a smile breaking free onto your lips. Oh, how amazing it was to hear someone speaking to you. Even if said person seemed less than enthused.

You took in a deep breath and forced the words out, “You gave it to me.”

“Oh,” Natasha said, and the harshness faded from her voice. “The humanities consultant for the Paris mission.”

“Uh, yes,” you said. You barely understood what had happened. All you could remember was that you were brought into this tiny room, sat down with Natasha, and she had you tell her about a remote, cut-off culture just East of Paris. Those twenty minutes were the highlight of your career. “Sorry I called you. It’s really late.”

“I’m in Cyprus,” Natasha said, and you hummed. It was a waste even wondering why she was on the other side of the world. You’d never learn, anyway.

“Good morning, then.”

“Thank you,” she said, then a few moments later asked, “Why did you call? Do you need something?”

“No, I’m fine,” you said. After a few breaths, you mustered up the courage to say, “I just wanted to talk.”

There was a pause on the other end. You thought she had hung up or simply couldn’t bother responding, but she ended up saying, “I’m free for the next hour. We can talk.”

And that was exactly what you did. It felt amazing. Not only to talk to someone, but to talk to someone who seemed so full of stories and complexities as Natasha was amazing. Sure, some of the stories veered on the edge of being dark or unbelievable, but that didn’t bother you. You had known what you were getting into when you started to talk to her.

notes- am I making this a wandanat fic? Who knows! I'm just having fun with the story right now but I'm always open to suggestions and requests. I hope you enjoy, happy reading! Xxx

Overview- you are a high ranking Hydra agent but you want out. What will happen when a group of heroes you have tried to take down take you under their wing. They say, love is an unpredictable force and you might just find it here.

So wrong it's right

part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five-

Bruce and Tony were rigging you up to several machines for testing whilst Steve and wanda watched on anxiously.

The fluorescent lighting of the lab mixed with all the loud chattering gave you a splitting headache. Wanda had picked up on it immediately and began to rub soothing patterns into your skin. “Your eyes are glowing” she whispered gently while you leaned into her touch.

Her warm touch and soothing words grounded you. You sighed contently and kept your eyes trained on hers, causing the blue glow to fade away. “Good” she hummed as the light diminished.

“Wanda, how did you just do that?” tony marvelled from beside a machine you were hooked up to. “I didn't do anything” wanda replied mirroring his confusion. “Y/N had enough power around her to light up half of new york and as soon as you touched her it disappeared. Meaning you either absorbed it or bootleg Elsa here can create and destroy energy as she pleases.”

“Electricity... Power.... Energy. THATS IT TONY! The powers surfaced after being exposed to the arc reactor and since we can safely assume that she was tested on in some capacity while with hydra, We can deduce that y/n was exposed to a power similar to the arc reactor which gave her the powers. This leaves us with three big questions, what was this power source? Why is her power fabricated through ice and water? And why would hydra train her as an assassin if they knew she had the power of element bending.” Bruce interjected before typing frantically on a pop-up screen.

“Well, before I froze the entire tower I had a vision of myself being pushed into a snowstorm by a scientist but that's all I saw. No technology like the arc reactor” you replied from the examination chair.

“If we can trigger another one of these visions, then we can learn more about the power” Bruce replied with determination. The whole room turned to you expectantly. “I don't know how I did it, I was just talking to nat and then next minute I'm watching myself being experimented on” you sputtered while your mind was in a spin with all the new information.

“I could try to look ?” Wanda asked calmly. Bruce and tony agreed without hesitation but she waited patiently for your response.

You nodded hesitantly, despite steve’s interjections.

Her warm hands now buzzed with power as they touched your head. She was scarily concentrated as she rummaged around your mind. Silence filled the room for several minutes before she leaned away and her power faded.

“I could only find some doctors notes, they were fuzzy and hard to read but i could make out some important pieces.

‘Subject 246

The subject is responding to experimentation well; just as hypothesised she is beginning to control electricity as well as the previously discovered water elemental magic. It seems the more energy we expose her to, the more her power progresses.

I have approved phase three of testing

Be cautious when interacting with the subject, the testing has provided her with an unprecedented amount of intelligence.

The rest was too hard to read.” she informed the group curiously

Steve made his way to you and began to pull of the wires and pads littering your body. “Thats enough. Go and rest before training” he ordered and the room erupted into loud arguing. It wasn't clear whether the argument was actually because of your predicament or if something was underlying between tony and Steve.

“She's just a kid! You're making her relive her torture, in the pursuit of what? Your own knowledge?!”

“Stay out of it rogers, this is not your war”

The shouts echoed through the corridors as you wandered out of the lab. You began to slowly make your way towards the bathroom for a much needed thoughtful shower.

There was so much for you to ponder as you stood under the rainfall of hot water. Electricity? It seemed out of the realm of possibility but so did water bending until last week. Your trip to the lab had opened so many questions, where did this all come from? What else could've had energy similar to the arc reactor?

“Youve been in there for an hour, can you get out? I need to shower before training” Natasha called from outside your bathroom. Her cries were accompanied by several knocks that were far too forceful

With a huff you turned off the shower and made your way to the door with your towel wrapped safely around u. Steam billowed into your cold room as you opened the door to reveal an impatient nat.

“don’t you have your own shower” you asked angrily. She rolled her eyes in response as if you were supposed to know why she was trying to use yours. “Yes, I have my own shower but it is broken. Obviously.” she replied shortly.

You pushed past her into your own room and allowed her access to the bathroom. “Thanks, frosty” she mocked before shutting the door of your bathroom in your face. The nickname almost felt like a dare to you, daring you to turn her shower ice cold.

The slight irritability she had sparked in you began to conjure up a small ball of icy blue tendrils that pushed their way towards the shower. You could have stopped you magic but you didn't want to. You allowed your magic to enchant the showerhead and cause the water to drop to just above freezing.

To your dismay, no reaction came from Natasha. Not a word.

Defeatedly you pulled on a combat suit Tony had provided for you and waited for Nat to finish. She was in there for barely five minutes before she came bounding out in just her underwear.

“I would've asked you to help keep me warm in there but it seems you're the reason it was cold in the first place” she accused whilst several drops of water fell from her hair. You stayed silent as you watched her muscles tense and relax as she pulled on her suit.

“Hello?!?” she called, bringing you out of your trance.

“I didn't make your shower cold” you feigned offence at her comment and did your best to cover up your staring. She grabbed your hand and held it up to your face revealing a familiar layer of frost “yes you did” she replied coldly before dropping your hand forcefully.

“Training ladies, I have a surprise I think you're going to love” Steve poked his head into the room to give a playful wink before sprinting towards the gym. Nat followed close behind him and reluctantly you pulled yourself up to follow.

Okay, I've been noticing some tension between some of us so for the next twenty-four hours we are going to be stuck with the person we have the weakest connection with. Meaning that for better or for worse the couples will be as follows: Tony and me, Thor and the big guy, vision and clint and finally wanda, nat and y/n will be in a trio”

Natasha starred daggers into Steve as he revealed we would be stuck together but wanda didn't seem even slightly phased by the instruction. You gave Tony a pleading look, hoping that he would overrule the captains instruction but instead he just laughed hysterically and clapped steves back. The three of you stood in an awkward silence for several minutes as the severity of the situation settled in.

“So, what now ?” You asked awkwardly. Natasha whirled towards you in response and punched you square in the face. “Combat” she chuckled as you stumbled backwards into wanda.

It took you a few moments to compose yourself before your flipped towards her and kicked hard into her side. She yanked your leg up from her waist, with an ironclad grip. You used your other leg to propel yourself onto her shoulder. With your thighs wrapped around her neck you flipped and slammed the both of you into the padded floor below. You both hit the floor with a hard thud, leaving you winded and bruised.

Natasha didn't give up though she forced herself up through ragged breath and pounced on your injured body. You winced in pain as she pinned you into the floor, grabbing both of your arms as she went.

“That was for ruining my shower” she growled into the closing space between your faces.

Your free legs kicked forward bringing both of you up from the floor. Natasha’s thighs were still gripped around your waist as you landed but she immeadiatly flipped backwards creating a small distance between you.

Almost instantly, Natasha came barrelling towards you and kicked into your stomach with both feet. You flew into the wall behind you sending a horrifying symphony of cracking throughout the room. The pain of the impact caused you to slump lifelessly on the floor and clutch your wounds.

A slow clap began to ring from behind the both of you. Wanda leaned against the wall behind Natasha with a devilish smirk. “Impressive Natasha but you should ask before breaking what's mine”

You and Nat both shared the same look of worry as wandas hands began to glow with her Scarlett power.

Nats face flew away from yours as she was slammed into the roof of the training room. A shower of plaster fell down on you and you watched nat squirm under the force of wandas power. Tight ropes of the crimson magic were holding her precariously up above you.

Looking back at wanda, she was now enthralled in her own magic and you couldn’t help but stare in awe as her hands moved so addictively. She met your eyes with a seductive grin for a split second before flicking her magic away.

Natasha came falling down from the ceiling.

Instinctively you threw your hands up and a pressurised stream of water spilt out of your palm. It cushioned around Natasha instantly and held her in the air a few metres from your face.

Everyone watched in awe as the stream of water held her effortlessly. As you realised what you had done you began to drop the pressure and let Natasha reach the ground gently.

Both you and Natasha were drenched in your own water while wanda wiped a few droplets from her brow. The training room shared a similar fate as water pooled on the padded ground below.

You rushed to nat to make sure she was okay after the fall but she just brushed you off coldly and made her way towards wanda. You thought she was going to do something to wanda but instead she just pushed right past her causing Wanda to smirk triumphantly.

You summoned a strong gust of wind that swept all the water away with it, leaving the training room as if nothing had ever happened.

“I think thats enough training for today” Steve commented in utter shock as he looked between the two of you.

When you and wanda turned to see where Natasha had gone the entire group stared back at you in shock and awe.

Hours after the training room altercation, you were enjoying some much needed time in starks workshop. You were trying to do some calculations to hopefully find some sort of power source like the arc reactor but of course none of them could compare.

“Hey kid, you okay?” Tony asked kindly as he stepped into the workshop. You continued to tap away at the hologram in front of you “yea, trying to find a lead on the stuff banner was talking about” you replied absently. Stark began to roam over your many calculations with concern. Lines of information, diagrams and calculations decorated the entire workshop yet none seemed to have the answers you were looking for.

He pulled you away from the screen you were working on and began to close many of the other screens crowding his workshop. As the glow.from the screens left the room, the bright moonlight began to filter in. Without even realising you had worked right into the night.

“Bruce and I will figure this out I promise” he smiled kindly before pulling up a new screen for you which showed a model of you. “If you want to stay here then you can begin designing your suit but no more calculations!” he said cheerfully.

You complied, not wanting to leave the serenity of the workshop. The suit designing was far more enjoyable than the calculations and you found yourself genuinely enjoying it.

Your model was now in a tight navy blue suit and you began to start some calculations that would determine whether or not you needed the arc reactors power. Stark however closed your pop up screen with the calculations in an almost fatherly manner. “I’ll do the math, you just design” he scolded lightly.

“I thought I'd find you two in here. Cap wants you both back upstairs immediately” Nat ordered coldly as she leaned in the doorway.

“Romanoff! We're working, so unfortunately we cannot join your boyfriend's little rendezvous upstairs “ stark quipped back.

“Y/N is playing dress-up and you are masturbating over your own technology. Upstairs now!” she ordered again before sauntering out.

“Always a delight” stark mumbled jokingly and you both headed upstairs.

Flipping A Story (Avengers X Teen!Fem!Reader) *PLATONIC

Characters: Avengers X Teen!Fem!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: Bullying, fighting, violence, bit of swearing

Request: Part I: Hey! How about a avengers x reader where Reader has “mass mind control” power where she work it like a computer. She can copy, paste, cut memories from one to another. Basically control people, and make herself look like a complete victim if she wants to. She’s a teen, usually reserved and kind . She sees the Avengers as her family and friends. She had developed a thick skin to bullies and hate, just ignore them. But one day it gets out of hand in school. Part 2: They talk shit about the Avengers. And she was pissed. She decided to have fun, made him and his friend fight each other. Laugh at it. And before the principle comes, she was already fake crying. The kids ended up with slight skull fracture, broken jaw, losing teeth and some bruises. But well, she was crying so it wasn’t her fault anyways. But peter manged to record the whole thing and gave to the avengers. They were horrified and impressed at her power and acting skill.

You had a tough skin, an armour you had built up over the years through exposure to being treated differently and badly by peers and strangers alike. You’d taught yourself to be reserved, to be quiet, be kind, and be patient, because at the end of the day, you were aware you had a power that could cause a lot of damage if you so desired. It was through your caution and level head, that you found yourself close friends with people who actually understood you. The Avengers. 

Keep reading

Summary: Facing the threat of deportation to her home country Russia, book editor Natasha Romanoff comes to an agreement with her assistant to get married. With that, comes a visit to the assistants hometown and meeting all of her family. Can they fool everyone that they’re in love? Will they have to pretend for the rest of their lives?

Tags: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Natasha Romanoff Fic, Natasha Romanoff Fanfic, Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow Fic, Movie Fic, The Proposal (2009), Reader has Daddy Issues, Natasha is Readers Boss, Fake Marriage, Fake Dating, Meeting Family,

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Sex, Marriage?, Daddy Issues, Boss x Assistant,

Word Count: 3.4K

Taglist: @timmyslover (please ask to join through asks or message me!) Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series :)

A/N: this fic is based on the 2009 movie The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. some of the events have been changed to fit Natasha and to make it easier for me lol. please please leave comments or come scream at me about it :)) i’m actually estatic about this fic istg. also i’m seeing spider-man for the first time today wish me luck. just got my booster shot so i’ll exercise my arm while wiping tears

The Proposal Chapter One

Working for Natasha Romanoff is hard on a normal day. On a day like today, it’s absolute hell. You woke up later because the power in the building went out sometime in the night. Which leaves you where you are now, rushing around your apartment, looking for anything you can put on. There’s one clean dress shirt hanging in the closet, and you find the slacks you wore yesterday on the floor. They look clean enough, so you put them on, hopping around on one foot frantically while putting on one shoe.

You practically run to the Starbucks that’s close to where you work. Kate, the barista, already has your drinks made.

“You’re a lifesaver, Kate.”

“Don’t forget it,” she calls back with a smile.

You go as fast as you think you can with hot coffee, yelling apologies behind you at the people you bump into.

The elevator doors shut behind you just as you make it into them.

“Just in time,” you say to yourself, casting glances and awkward smiles at the people next to you. As soon as you hear the ding for your floor, you get again start hauling ass to Natasha’s office. Unfortunately, because that’s how today is going to be apparently, you crash into someone, spilling coffee down the front of your shirt.

A string of curses falls from your lips as you help the man up. Your shirt has dark stains all down the front. You’re pretty sure it’s not something Natasha will accept in her office.

You walk down the row of desk and stop in from of the first person you see that’s wearing something you can match with and not look like you picked a random shirt.

“I’ll give you company seats to the New York Avengers if you give me your shirt. You have five seconds to agree.” You start counting, and they run to the bathroom to change. You follow, thanking them profoundly along the way.

You rush to Natasha’s office, getting there right before she does. When Natasha walks in, you’re waiting by her desk, coffee in hand. She curtly thanks you and sits down at her desk, going through her paperwork.

She’s wearing a dark blue dress with a matching belt. Her hair is pinned back in the illusion of a simple bun, but you know how long she probably spent doing it. You’ve never seen her hair down. You know better than to ask.

“Your immigration lawyer called,” you say quickly, wanting to get this part of the day out of the way and go back to your desk.

“Cancel the appointment. And add open up my schedule on that weekend in September we talked about. Fury has decided to do Oprah.”

“Fury decided or you worked your persuasive magic on him and made the decision for him?”

“They’re the same thing,” she dismisses.

“Right. You have a conference call with Steve Rogers in 37 minutes and a staff meeting at 9:00. Also, someone called about the winter release for-“

“Tell then it is what it is and that if they think I can change time they should pay me more.”

“I’ll tell them politely no.”

“Waste of time,” she mutters. You’re about to leave when you remember that you have one more think to ask about.

“Did you have the chance to read the manuscript I sent you?” you ask, standing on the opposite side of Natasha’s desk.

“I started it, but I lost interest fairly quickly. Nothing really impressive about it.”

You start to exit the room and relax a little bit at your desk, but Natasha calls you back.

“Wait. Who is Kate and why does she want me to call her?”

You turn around slowly, meeting Natasha’s uninterested gaze. “That was mine. Yours spilled.”

“You drink a lavender latte with almond milk and foam?”

“Yes,” you say convincingly. “It tastes like summertime in my mouth,” you end lamely, your statement sounding much more like a question.

“Hm. It’s strange, because that’s my exact drink order. You wouldn’t possibly be ordering my drink for yourself in case you spill one of them because you’re scared shitless of what would happen. No, that would make you very much pathetic.”

That’s actually exactly what you do. She knows it. You know it. You should admit it. But what comes out of your mouth instead is: “Of course not. I just really like lavender coffee.”

“Mhm. The phones are ringing. Go do your job and answer it.”

“You got it.”

Again, before you leave she calls out to you. “Oh, one more thing. There’s a book fair this weekend that I need you to go to with me.”

“This weekend?” you ask.

“Yep,” she says, popping the p loudly. “Is that a problem?” Yes.

“No.”

You spend a while at your desk, taking calls and filing through the manuscripts that Natasha thinks are worth her time. You make sure to check the simple things like format and grammar, outlining them in red pen so she doesn’t have to do it.

Being an editor has always been your dream job. Growing up, books had been your form of escape from the overwhelming weight of your family. They led you through good times and bad, and gave you something to look forward to during the worst. Being Natasha’s assistant gives you an amazing opportunity to be just that, if you can make it.

You’re interrupted from a thrilling story when the phone rings.

“Ms. Romanoff’s office, how can I help you?“

“There’s my baby,” a familiar voice says.”

“Hi, Mom. I’m at work, is everything okay?”

“You sound stressed? Is that devil woman working you too hard again?” she frets. You can hear her frown.

“When is she not? Look, mom, I needed to talk to you anyway. I can’t come to Grammy’s birthday this weekend.”

“What?” You have to hold the phone away from your ear, wincing at the sudden volume of her voice. “You already bought tickets. You promised you would be here.”

“Yeah, well plans changed. It was nothing I could control.”

“Put your boss on the phone. I have a few choice words for her.”

“If only I could”- you look up to see Natasha walking over to your desk-“offer you a better deal, but unfortunately our prices are set. Goodbye.” You hang up the phone and turn to Natasha.

“Was that your mom?” she asks, walking down the aisle.

“Yep.”

“Did she want to kill me like usual?”

“Yep. She’s mad you’re making me miss Gammy’s 90th birthday.”

“Good. Consistency is key.” She stops at the door marked for D. Dreykov, knocking and pushing the glass door open.

“Ms. Romanoff, it’s good to see you,” acknowledges Dreykov, putting down his drink. With a vague sense of puzzlement you notice that it’s whiskey.

“It’s fucking eight thirty in the morning,” you murmer, low enough so Dreykov doesn’t hear. You’re pretty sure Natasha does, but she hides her smile by turning away. Even if she wasn’t, you’re going to pretend she does just to annoy her.

“You as well. How are you?” she ventures, looking pointedly at his glass.

“The same. You?“

“I can’t complain,” says Natasha, turning to a huge wooden armoire in the corner of the room.

“Is it new?” she inquires, tracing it with her fingers.

“It’s an eighteenth century piece,” he brags. “But to my office, yes it is new. You can't come here to talk about furniture, Ms. Romanoff. How can I help you?” You brace for what comes next. Knowing Dreykov, this isn’t going to go well.

“You’re fired,” Natasha says bluntly, no look of sympathy on her face. It’s a face you never hope to see looking at you.

“You better be joking,” laughs Dreykov.

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“You’re overreacting. You got Fury to do the show anyway.”

“Am I? You have two months to find yourself a new job. Everyone will be told that you resigned.” With that, Natasha walks out, you right behind her.

“What’s the update? How’s he looking?” she asks, questioning you about Dreykov’s reaction. You look back and see Dreykov pacing around the room.

“Fuming. Trying to decide if he’s going to come over here.”

“Shit. Don’t do it, Dreykov. It’s the wrong move.”

“He’s doing it.”

“Damn it.” Natasha turns around to see Dreykov coming towards her.

“You bitch,” he seethes. “You fired me because you thought I was better than you! You’re threatened by me, so you took me out. This has nothing to do with the Fury interview.” His voice raises volume, attracting interested stares from the people in the office. The same people who are quick to look away whenever Natasha starts speaking.

Calmly, she explains. “You’re right. I didn’t fire you because of Fury. That would be pointless and putting my own neck on the line. I fired you because, not only are you lazy and an asshole, you treat everyone in this office, including me, your boss, like they owe you something just for being in your presence. You show up late, drink all day, and turn in shitty work. And, frankly, I just don’t like you. So there you go. That’s why you got fired. If I hear another word I’m going to have my assistant over there call security to escort you out. Looks like you won’t be resigning after all.”

He starts to speak, but Natasha cus him off. “Not another word.” Her eyebrows raise, almost challenging him to speak again. He doesn’t. Instead, he storms off to his room like a child.

“Upstairs called my office directly. I’ll have to go up there in”-Natasha checks her watch-“five minutes. After ten in the room, I want you to make up an excuse and come get me. We have to much to do.”

“Sure thing.” Natasha heads the opposite direction while you go back to your desk. The office relaxes significantly as she leaves, people starting to talk about what just happened. You almost hear a sigh of relief sweep across the office when she’s gone.

You wait ten minutes, answering one call and sitting there the rest of the time. Then, you take the elevator to the next floor, deemed by everyone “the upstairs.” At the end of the hallway is a large office with huge windows.

You pop your head into the door of the office and are met with an immediate call to get out. Such polite people.

“Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen. Natasha, I have Sam Wilson on the phone for you. I told him to call back later, but he insists that it’s important and cannot wait.” You expect her to come with you like she always does when she tells you to do this, but she doesn’t move. She just stares at you, then looks back at her bosses, then back at you.

She mouths something to you that you can’t decipher. She does it again, and motions for you to go stand next to her.

“I understand the situation that I’m currently in, that’s why I think it’s important that you know…”

She puts her arm around your shoulders awkwardly and announces: “We’re getting married.”

“Who is?” you question, a fake smile on your lips.

“Us. Me and you. The lovebirds of the office,”she says through her teeth.

“Uh, right,” you turn to her bosses and smile at them, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

“You know, she’s just so…” Natasha trails off, looking at you.

“I feel like it shouldn’t take that long to think of an adjective,” you mutter.

“Honest,” bites Natasha sweetly. “She’s honest to me. It was all those late nights together and early mornings, you really see the worst of each other. But that couldn’t stop us, could it sugarbear?” Sugarbear? Really? You send an unamused look at Natasha, who smiles pointedly back at you.

“Sure, honeycomb,” you grimace at the endearment, hoping it doesn’t sound half as ridiculous as you think it does. “We just couldn’t help ourselves from the attractive pull.”

“Something simply happened between us that I can’t explain,” concludes Natasha.

“Something definitely happened. And there’s definitely no logical explanation,” you agree.

“Is this-this is what you want, right? This is good?” Natasha motions between the two of

you, looking at the two men in front of you. They’re both wearing business smiles.

“Just make it official,” one says, pointing to his ring finger.

“That’s hot,” says the other. You want to punch him. You don’t think your fiancé (?) would appreciate that, though.

“Great. We’ll go to the immigration office right now and get this all sorted out. Thank you, gentlemen.”

“Of course. Ms. Romanoff, Ms…” the man at the desk trails off, giving up on remembering you name. He shrugs and goes back to his work.

“Ouch,” you murmur. You walk the rest of the way in silence, trying to figure out what’s going on. Natasha looks completely calm and in control.

Once you make it to you office, you shut the door, expecting some sort of explanation. Instead, Natasha sits down and starts working.

“What is it?” she asks.

“Do you want to tell me what that was about? Because last time I checked we aren’t engaged and very much aren’t in love.”

“I was going to be deported to Russia and fired. This makes it where that doesn’t have to happen,” she states simply.

“And why would I comply with this? No offense, but I don’t need you to have a career here,” you inquire.

“Because if you don't, do think you’re going to be fired.” You raise your eyebrows at her, and she continues. “Dreykov, who we just fired, is going to take my place. You think he’s going to keep you around? I can answer that for you. No. He’s not. So if you want to be an editor, you’ll do this.”

“Jesus fucking shit.”

“That’s quite a swear,” notes Natasha mildly. “Don’t stress about it. We’ll get married, wait for me to get my green-card, and then get a quick divorce. Easy.”

“Easy,” you repeat, not convinced. Natasha tells you to clear her schedule for today and get all the papers ready to go to the immigration office. By the time you’re done, she’s waiting at your desk for you. “Let’s get this over with. Did you make an appointment?”

“I don’t think you know how this works.”

You’re proved correct when she skips the line, cutting in front of tons of people.

“You can’t just do that,” you protest.

“I just did.” You sigh and follow her, apologizing to the people you just cut in front of.

“I need this to file for a fiancé visa, please,” she says. She slides the papers across the desk, and a man approaches.

“Ms. Romanoff?” he asks.

“Yes?” Natasha answers, looking up from her phone.

“I need you to follow me.”

She turns to you. “See, I know how to do this.” The man leads you to a small room with a table and three chairs. He sits in one and the two of you sit across from him.

“I’m Mr. Smith. And you just be her fiancé?” he asks, looking at you.

“Yes. That’s me. Natasha’s fiancé,” you say smoothly. Natasha kicks you under the table.

“We appreciate you seeing us on such short notice. It all just happened so quickly,” thanks Natasha.

“That it did,” you agree. She kicks you again.

“I just have one question to ask you, and then you can be on your way.” He turns to face you. “Are you marrying Ms. Romanoff to save her from being deported to Russia, therefore committing fraud which has a penalty of five years in prison?” You stare at him with his mouth open like an idiot. Natasha tries to speak up, but he stops her.

“Because that’s what we think you happen to be doing, let me explain the steps that you will have to go through.”

“First, we ask around. Friends and coworkers will be asked if they know anything about you. Then, we ask families. After that, we check phone records and sightings. Lastly, there’s an interview. You will be asked everything about each other. If there’s even a slight difference in your answers, Romanoff will be deported and you will be put into jail for at least five years under the charges of fraud.”

“Unfortunately, your scare tactics won’t work because I’m totally and completely in love with this woman,” says Natasha, startlingly convincingly.

“What she said,” you second, trying not to sound miserable.

“If you’re not going to cooperate, things are going to get worse.”

“Ms. Romanoff, have you told your family about the engagement?” he asks blandly.

“My birth mother is dead and even she didn’t know who my father was. My adoptive father just got out of prison in Russia and my mother is on a farm with no way to contact her,” states Natasha matter-of-factly.

“It says here that you have a sister, Yelena Belova.”

“I haven’t seen her in years.”

“Are you currently in contact with her?“

“Yes, but we don’t talk about our dating lives,” Natasha says.

“What about you, ma’am? Have you told your family?”

You try to stutter out an answer, but nothing of substance comes out. You look at Natasha, hoping for a lifeline.

She rolls her eyes at you. “We were going to tell her family this weekend. It’s Grammy’s birthday.”

“How old is she turning?”

“90. Right, baby?” Natasha asks you. You nod.

“That’s a big one. She can’t come here. Where does Grammy live?”

You’re completely positive that Natasha doesn’t know this. “Why am I answering all the questions? It’s her family,” laughs Natasha effortlessly.

“My family is from Sitka. Everyone but me lives there.”

“Fine. Friends? Do any of them know? Or does anyone at your work know?”

“We couldn’t tell them because…” Natasha looks at you for help.

“Because of my big promotion. I was going to be promoted to editor next year, which was a decision made before we started dating, and we didn’t want people to think-“

“Right,” he cuts you off. Mr. Smith sighs and tells you that you can go. “I’m warning you, though. I’ll make sure that this is real.”

“God forbid the book editors start taking over America,” mutters Natasha. “Thank you for your cooperation,” she calls back at Mr. Smith, flipping him off.

You walk quickly out of the building, Natasha right on your heels.

“We’re going to have to push back all of our meetings for this weekend. Can you call Steve and tell him? And we need to get a first class plane for today to Sitka. And get me the vegan meal, last time I had this terrible chicken salad,” says Natasha.

“I’m sorry, were you not in the same meeting as me? I could go to jail for doing this, and the only reason I am is so I probably don’t get fired,” you exclaim, halting your walking.

“Well, what do you want?” she asks impatiently.

“I want to be an editor.”

“I’m not promoting you to editor,” she laughs.

“Then I’m not doing this. Being your assistant for the next few years isn’t worth the possibility of jail. Have fun in Russia.”

“Fuck,” she groans. “Fine. Welcome to the fucking team.”

“And I want my manuscript published.”

“Ten thousand copies,” she agrees.

“And if I’m going to do this, you’re going to have to ask me nicely.”

“Fine. Marry me,” she says flatly.

“You can do better than that. Come on, get down on a knee and ask me to marry you.”

“I’m not doing that,” she hisses.

“Have fun in Russia, Natasha,” you reply cheerily, starting to walk away.

“Jesus. Okay, okay! I’ll do it.” Muttering insults under her breath, she slowly gets down on her knees. “Dearest love, will you marry me? Nothing would make me happier.”

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but I accept,” you say.

“You don’t really have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice,” you say lightly.

“Is it really a choice when one of the options is absolutely shitty?” she questions, still on the ground.

“Sure it is. I’ll see you at the airport.”

“You’re not going back to work?” she stands up clumsily, her skirt getting caught on her heel. It’s one of the only times you’ve seen her not the epitome of perfection. It’s almost endearing. It would be more so if she wasn’t asking you about work, but you’ll take baby steps.

“Fuck no. I’ve earned the day off. Bye sugarbear.”

“Piss off, homeycomb.”

HI HAPPY NEW YEAR- mediocre nat and r having a night out and r saying goodbye after nat drops her off but not saying she loves her and nat is like ?? hello??

hello thats very cute and in character but i am so tired ive been ready to collapse for like over a day so whatever tf im writing after this is what ur getting

This Friday date night goes a lot better than Nat's McDonald's fuckery from last week. You take her to that bar she likes near work, paying for the french fries you shared and the first two rounds. There was some game playing on the TV that you don't really follow but Nat clearly does because she laughs every time one of the teams fails. You don't think she really has a sports team she roots for and she admits she just picks the one with nicer uniforms to care about anytime sports comes on the TV.

When her team of the night wins, she plants a kiss on you that has someone at the bar hollering. You wince when she pulls away to glower at the man.

After that, you'd looped your arm around hers and you'd had a nice walk through the park. Skipped rocks in the pond. She had done a better job. In character, of course, but annoying nonetheless.

Tomorrow, she leaves for a mission, so she has to head to the tower tonight to pack up her gear and you've got an empty house for the foreseeable future.

It's sad.

You spend the car ride to your house gripping her hand and staring at the streetlights. Nat turns up the radio and taps the steering wheel to the beat of the song.

Nat leaps out of the car the moment she pulls into your driveway while you twist around to grab your tote bag from the backseat. When Nat comes and opens your door for you, you smile and take her hand.

Still, there's a sense of melancholy falling over you already. You sigh for the fifteenth time tonight and Nat just squeezes your fingers.

"I'll be back before you know it," she says into your shoulder while you fish your keys out of your bag.

"Now I have to take the bus to work," you say, sullenly.

"Tony would probably get you a car service if you asked."

You huff. Sometimes, you can't tell if she's fucking with you or if she's really that dense. One of the downsides of how casual the two of you are with each other, how often you poke fun at each other.

"What?" she huffs when you stomp to the living room to throw your bag on the couch.

"Now I have to fuck myself if I get horny." You spin quickly to glower at her. "And don't even say anything about Tony. We both know you'd probably commit some sort of atrocity if I ever did that just because you're emotionally constipated."

Nat scowls too. "Pot kettle black much."

The both of you squint at each other for a few long moments before you give in--always you first--and cross the distance to where she's leaning in your doorway.

Nat watches, impassive, as you pick up her hands. Lets you tug her closer to your body. "You know I own a cellphone, right?"

"Phone sex?" you mumble into her shoulder. "On the job?"

You can basically hear her eye roll. "No. You are so not getting off while I'm gone. But you don't have to act like I've got a terminal illness just because I'm going on a business trip."

Business trip. As if her business trip isn't some life-endangering superspy mission in god-knows-where, Europe, involving superhumans and, like, missiles.

"Come on," she says, pulling back so she can bump your chin up with your linked hands. "Send me pictures of your meals or whatever the hell normal people do."

"You'd just leave me on read," you grumble.

"I'll send you pictures of MREs so you can ignore me too." She's aiming for levity.

You are too down in the dumps to do anything but force a tiny smile and lean in for a quick kiss. She has to go soon. Too soon.

Nat tilts her head to catch your eyes. There's a hint of concern on her face. "Back before you know it."

"Don't break into my house again," you say, hoping your smile is more convincing this time. She's a superhero. No need to worry about a clingy girlfriend.

"No promises." She presses in for another kiss before stepping back, releasing your hands. "Bye, baby."

"Okay," you say with a heaving sigh, leaning on your door. Usually, you would watch her get in her car, wave at her through the window, and then disappear down the street.

Today, Nat does not move an inch. Looks at you expectantly.

She raises her eyebrows. "...bye."

You frown. "Bye?" you say slowly.

Still, she waits.

"Don't die," you offer. No movement. "...I would be sad."

Nope.

"I might even cry."

"Jesus," Nat growls out, spinning on her heel and storming off your porch. She's actually mad. You can tell.

You fumble with the door, making sure it's unlocked, before chasing after Nat. She's already at the wheel by the time you're knocking on her window.

She gives the wheel a look so searing, you're surprised it still has the gall to exist. Then, she rubs at her eye with an aggravated fist. Then, the window rolls down and she looks over at you with a tired look.

"What did I do?" you ask immediately, hands curling over the car door.

"Nothing."

You reach out to touch her cheek, something inside your chest aching something fierce when she flinches. "Nat," you say softly, voice thin from how much this hurts. Unexpected hurt, really. Pot kettle black, indeed. "Come on."

"I," she starts, stops to wince, continues with more gusto: "I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too," you reply quickly, hand tilting her face to look more fully at you. "If you died, I think I would never recover."

"I won't die," she murmurs into your palm, eyes pinned on you now.

"Promise?"

Nat smiles, a small roll to her eyes. "Sure, I promise."

"Okay." You nod, tipping onto your toes and tugging her face in to meet you in a chaste kiss. "I love you, okay? If you break your promise, I'll kill you."

Nat looks at you like you've hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Disguised, of course, by a wry shake of the head. "Haven't broken a promise to you yet. Won't start now. But also that made no sense."

"Get off my property, truther."

Nat grins, then, yanks you in for another hard kiss before letting you back up a few steps.

Her taillights disappear around the bend. Your heart feels heavy in your chest. She'll be back before you know it.

this is for the lgbt

yo dark nat. kind of domestic, not very serious, kind of dumb, but it’s borne of a thought i had. unedited because i’m lazy and thought you all deserved smth lolll

Keep reading

Feeling So Tired; Falling Apart

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: You don’t think you could ever be loved again, until Natasha comes into your life and refuses to be pushed out.

Word Count: 1,051

Warnings: Severe depression, self-hate, loneliness, isolation, heavy mental health issues and discussions, angst, and cursing.

A/N: This is just a vent fic that I wrote for myself because I’m not ok lol and I cope with fictional characters. Again- this is a vent fic, and please proceed with caution. Title is inspired by My Kind Of Woman by Mac DeMarco because I cry to his music.

You didn’t know when you realized that you were unlovable.

Maybe it was when you noticed how during your entire childhood the kids from school wouldn’t talk to you or invite you over to their birthday parties, or when you would hear their laughter in the hallways when you walked past them.

Maybe it was when everyone talked about their best friends and their plans for the weekend, but you had just decided to take on an extra shift at work to ignore the loneliness you were drowning in.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was when you were finally fucking old enough to stop being so goddamn stupid, and realize that everyone who told you that they cared or loved you was lying.

The only person who maybe could sometimes make you feel loved was Natasha.

Natasha.

She was the one person who was there for you. And you loved her for it. God, you fucking loved her so much.

But even with her support, you couldn’t drive away your depression and your isolation.

Because, unlike you, Natasha had other people. She was reunited with Yelena and spent a lot of time with her. Wanda was her best friend, and you could almost always catch them together. Even though she was your girlfriend, it didn’t feel like Natasha thought of you as her favorite person.

Because, quite frankly, no one ever did. And no one ever will. And fuck, it was the loneliest feeling in the world.

A feeling that even Natasha couldn’t and wouldn’t understand. No matter how hard she tried.

“Please baby, please. You can’t just push everyone away like this.” Natasha’s voice broke, but you couldn’t even hear it. You were huddled under your blankets, tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t listen to her.

You took a breath in when you felt the bed dip and arms wrap around your waist. “Natasha, please go away.” You whispered. You reached out for your phone and huffed in annoyance when the redhead grabbed it out of your hands.

“You’re not doing this again. I will not watch you spiral, Y/N. We all love you and support you and care. I cannot stand by and watch the love of my life do this to themself. Please, just let us-”

You felt rage bubble in your stomach, and you threw her arms off of you. “Who’s us, Nat? No really, who’s fucking us? Because as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have anyone, Natasha! I’m fucking alone, and you can never fucking understand it!”

Natasha shook her head, “Baby, please listen to me. I hear you, and I understand you-”

“Fuck!” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheek as you stood up from your bed. “No, no you don’t! You have people who love you! Yelena’s your sister, and you talk to her! Wanda’s there and-”

“Y/N, listen to me,” Natasha said firmly, grabbing onto your arms and forcing you back down onto the bed. “Do you think in the Red Room that I never felt alone?”

You went silent, unable to respond.

“I was alone my entire childhood. Actually, I don’t even think what happened to me counts as a childhood. So please fucking believe me when I tell you that I know what’s it’s like to be so fucking alone. But guess what?”

You looked up at her.

“I found a family. The Avengers. I thought I’d be doomed forever too. It’s hard to get out of that mindset, I know. But you will find people who love you, honey. I love you. Yelena loves you. Wanda loves you.”

You shook your head and tried to ignore the sobs that were rising. “No, that’s different. You were made to be lovable because you’re… you’re a good person. You’re enough, you’re worthy. And I’m not.” You couldn’t hold back your sobs anymore.

You could practically feel the redhead’s heart break from your words as she pulled you into her arms, and refused to let you out of them. “You’re so worthy. So beautiful.” Natasha whispered in your ear, gently rocking you.

“No, I’m not. I’m so alone. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t-” Natasha shushed you and turned over, spooning you close to her. “Everyone says they love me but they never really do. I’m no one’s favorite person, no one’s top priority, I just-”

Natasha shook her head once again, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “But you’re my favorite person, honey. You’re my top priority, the light of my life. I need you, okay? I care about you so, so much. And other people do, even if you can’t feel it.”

“That’s not true. So many people say that and they’re lying- you’re fucking lying!” You couldn’t contain all the pent-up emotions from the years hiding anymore. You tried to escape the redhead’s grasp but she simply held you tighter and peppered kisses on your face.

“I’m not lying. Baby, I love you so much. It breaks me to see you hurting like this, it really does. I know the other team feels the same way. We all want you to be okay, we want you to feel happy. Because if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

You finally stopped fighting and let yourself cry. Natasha traced patterns on your back and whispered affirmations in your ear, unwilling to leave you alone, even for a moment.

“Go to sleep. I know you’re tired baby.” Natasha said in a soft tone, helping you get back under the blankets. “And when you wake up, I’ll get you some food, okay? Just rest for now, love.”

“I’m sorry, I just-”

“No. I don’t want any apologies to be spoken, okay? You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you and I’m not leaving you. No matter what you go through, I will be here. My love is unconditional, and I’m not going anywhere.”

With blurry eyes you looked up at her, “Do you promise? You promise you won’t leave me?” Your voice broke, and Natasha nodded.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And with the redhead by your side you realized that with Natasha, you maybe had a chance.

You had a chance to feel better. To be better. Because unlike everything else in your life, Natasha stayed.

Main Taglist: @catasha @romanoffs-wallflower @wandanatvoid @marvelwomen-simp @freesloppy @alotofpockets @thewidowsghost @didujustcallmedumb @dawnoftime22 @deadcvpid @romanoffscottage @millieistheunofficialsimp @heartoreadallthequeerthingz @avengerswriter4eva @multifandomlesbianic @romanottsmaximoff @chiyongberry

Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @milfloverslut @ghostlybailiffathletestatesman @madamevirgo @proudmorning @fanfictioniseverything

Hurt/Comfort Taglist: N/A

Her Or Me?

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: You find yourself in a situation you never would have imagined, and Natasha has to make a choice- will she save you or her sister?

Word Count: 1,844

Warnings: Heavy angst, angst without a happy ending, guns, descriptions of torture, descriptions murder, death, major character death, blood, stabbing, broken bones, grief, depression, self-blame, and cursing.

A/N: Here you go anon! I made this like super angsty, I guessed you might have wanted that? Sorry if this was too angsty though! This was something that was so painful to write but also I was invested in it. I would say enjoy but… read the warnings, man.

Natasha never would have thought that she would have to choose between her sister and the love of her life. You supposed she would have laughed and scoffed. This was mainly because of how smoothly her life had been going- she left the Avengers to live out her life with you, and was fitting into a society surprisingly well.

The idea that someone could simply come by and snatch up the two people she cared most for and threaten her with it- well, she couldn’t even think about it without tearing up.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened. And there was nothing Natasha could do anymore.

Your day started relatively normal. You had woken up a bit late and barely made it to work on time, but you quickly found yourself working through your workday routine. There were meetings here and there, and you worked on responding to emails.

You looked over at the clock and yawned, getting ready to pack up for the day and head home. It was roughly 5:30 PM when you started driving back to your apartment but quickly noticed a van following behind you.

At first glance, it didn’t worry you that much. You were an average person, so the idea anyone would have it out for you didn’t make much sense.

But when you went around the block to your apartment building and the car still followed you into the parking lot, you got panicky. You stopped the car and locked all the doors before reaching for your phone and dialing Natasha’s number.

“Hey, baby what’s up?” You heard the redhead ask from the other line.

You took a deep breath, “Someone’s following me, Nat. Someone in a van- they’re sitting in the parking lot and they haven’t come out yet, but I’m scared.”

Natasha paused, “Okay, don’t panic. Just drive back to the cafe, I’m about a three minute walk from there. We’ll meet up. Just drive there- Yelena works there so you should be safe.”

“No, there’s a man in a dark hoodie walking towards me, I don’t-”

The call ended.

You panicked, looking for every weapon you could possibly use when you heard a fist banging on the window. You silently prayed that Natasha would drive over and assume that you were in danger- which you most certainly were.

You screamed when the man ripped your car door completely off and grabbed your neck and arm. You tried to yell for help, but his grip was too tight, and you were quickly losing oxygen.

Your only thoughts were on Natasha- how you missed her. How it wasn’t your time to die yet. How you weren’t ready.

But then, all you felt was a sharp stinging sensation poked into your neck by a needle, and everything went black.

When you woke up, all you felt was extreme pain. Your arms hung up high by a metal chain, and you quickly noticed blood running down your wrist from how tightly the chains were. You saw a dull light and tried to figure out where you were.

As your eyes adjusted, you concluded that you were in fact in the middle of a warehouse. Deep breathes. Just think, what would Natasha do? You thought to yourself, before checking all your pockets for your phone.

No such luck. All of your personal belongings had been taken away from you.

You attempted once again to scan the room, and gasped in shock at what you saw- Yelena, in the same chains and position as you with a gag in her mouth and desperately fighting the metal that restrained her.

You fought back your urge to scream- you had to help her, and you had to help her now. You lowered your voice and whispered, “Yelena, it’s me. It’s Y/N. You have to calm down, okay?”

You could see the blonde’s eyes widen as she tried to get a good look at you. You noticed her trying to get rid of the gag with her tongue, and eventually, it fell out of her mouth. “They took us. They want to get to Natasha- they want her. They’ll kill us if we don’t-”

Yelena never got the opportunity to finish her sentence when a tall, brunette woman slapped her across the face and put the gag back in her mouth.

You felt sick just seeing the woman’s disgusting, evil smirk at the pain you both were in. “It’s nice to finally have you both here. Truly, I am. Now, I know you’re both very smart people. And I think the two of you know exactly what I want. Hm?”

You paused but nodded, “I know who you want. You want Natasha- you’ll never get her. She’s too smart- she’ll come with the Avengers and you’ll never see the light of day again!” You hissed at her- and your rage only grew when the woman simply chuckled in response.

“That’s adorable. But your little girlfriend is already on the way, my dear. When I told her that she had two hours to come here and choose who to save-”

You cut the woman off, “Choose to save? No, don’t you want her dead- you want to murder her! You’re using us as bait, why would you-”

“Listen! You do not know what happened in my past. I don’t wish to see Romanoff die. Now, that would be much too cruel. I want to see her suffer- I want to see the pain in her eyes realizing that she will be the reason one of you won’t walk out of here alive. I want her to be tortured by her guilt every day she walks on this planet.” The brunette growled at you, and you almost felt nauseous as you saw a sick smile tilt her lips.

Yelena’s face dropped, and you could hear the broken sobs racking her chest through the cloth in her mouth. You on the other hand felt painfully numb. A type of numbness feeling you’d never experienced before- it was so strong that you felt you couldn’t live with it.

“Three… two… one.”

There was a crash and Natasha came rushing in, a gun pointed straight at the woman’s head. “Let them go! They have nothing to do with us, Widow. Allow them to leave here safely and I’ll replace them.”

The woman, or Widow you supposed, just chuckled quietly and shook her head, “No Romanoff. You’re not calling the shots here anymore. You don’t get to choose- well, actually, maybe you do.” Her head tilted before she called out, “Boys! It’s ready!”

Natasha tried to rush over to Yelena, but the Widow simply pushed her right back.

You saw two men wearing all black walk into the room, and you felt the cool metal of a gun pressed firmly against your temple and a strong, muscular arm wrapped around your neck. You glanced over at Yelena, who was in the same situation as you.

“You see Romanoff, I’m not here to kill you. I’m only here to kill one of your loves here- which is up to you of course.” Widow replied, looking at her nails, seeming completely unbothered by the events that were occurring.

Natasha’s face streamed with tears and she said in a broken voice, “You can’t expect me to choose. I can’t choose between them- I love them both. I can’t-” She was cut off but Yelena’s scream when the man took a knife and firmly stabbed her thigh.

Natasha was quick to run over but Widow was faster, holding her back, “Now, now your lovely sister will be fine, Romanoff. But I have noticed you care for her, yes? I suppose Y/N can be the one to go then?”

You let out a choke when the arm around your neck tightened, and you felt your airway close. “No, leave them alone! Fucking stop, get off of me you bitch! Stop, stop!” Natasha yelled, thrashing in Widow’s arms.

You could see Natasha's eyes go back and forth, watching life slowly drain out of both of you. You had stab wounds in both of your legs, and you were choking while Yelena had both of her wrists broken.

“Stop it! Please goddamnit, stop it! I can’t, you have to stop! Kill me instead, please! Don’t make me watch them die, just fucking please!” Natasha begged in a hoarse voice, cries of agony ripping through her.

Widow tutted, “Oh you poor thing. Don’t you understand? They don’t both have to die. You can save one of them- why let them both die? Choose Romanoff. Their time will come soon.”

“No, no-” Yelena screamed with a sob when the man stabbed her in her upper right arm- “You leave my sister alone, stop!”

“Nat… please.” You begged her, your oxygen slowly running out. You saw the redhead look at you with watery eyes, and looked away, almost too ashamed to see you. “We have everything planned out… we have a future.”

“I’m sorry baby.” She let out another sob, tears violently running down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I love you so much. I’ll love you forever, baby. I’ll never forget you.”

“NO, PLEASE-”

“Yelena.” Natasha whispered quietly to Widow, and she gave a short nod of approval for the man to finally end your suffering

“You can’t, Nat, NO-”

The click of the gun went off, and the bullet ran through your skull. Natasha cried out as blood ran down your temples, and your eyes had no emotion in them.

“It’s okay, Romanoff. We can’t save them all, hm?” Widow said with a sadistic grin before looking towards the man, who still had a grip on Yelena. “It’s okay. Let Belova go with her sister.”

Yelena was quickly removed from her chains and Natasha wasted no time running over to her and grasping her in her arms.

“They’re gone- because of me! I did this, I’m a murderer- I’m a killer-” Yelena shushed her and slowly rocked her.

“No Nat. You’re not a killer, far from it. Widow didn’t give you a choice, okay? You’re a good person, Nat. Y/N understood- they loved you. They would never blame you.” Yelena grunted in pain, falling over.

Natasha gasped and helped the blonde stand, “We have to get you to a hospital, come on. Let’s go.” The redhead promptly scooped up her sister and ran to the nearest door before running into the daylight.

“It’s going to be okay, Nat. Y/N loved you. Please, understand that they will always love you.” Natasha slowly shook her head, tears forming once again in her eyes,

“I heard their voice, and it wasn’t one of forgiveness. They loved me with all their heart and I threw it away- I’ll never be able to live without them, Lena. I cannot feel happy anymore.”

“That’s not true, you don’t know-”

“It is. Without them, I’m nothing. Just an empty shell. And for what I’ve done, it’s what I deserve. I deserve this guilt, this suffering. I truly do.”

Main Taglist: @catasha @romanoffs-wallflower @wandanatvoid @marvelwomen-simp @freesloppy @alotofpockets @thewidowsghost @didujustcallmedumb @dawnoftime22 @deadcvpid @romanoffscottage @millieistheunofficialsimp @heartoreadallthequeerthingz @avengerswriter4eva @multifandomlesbianic @romanottsmaximoff @chiyongberry

Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @milfloverslut @ghostlybailiffathletestatesman @madamevirgo @proudmorning @fanfictioniseverything

Angst Taglist: N/A

the holidays with older!nat

it’s you i’m thinking of

you spend your first christmas away from your girlfriend, and the older woman has a bad habit of teasing the fuck outta you

warnings: older!nat x younger!shy!innocent!reader, age gap relationships, phone sex, guided masturbation, and not proofreading.

merry christmas and happy holidays everyone! 🎄

With the phone against your ear, you attempted to keep your focus situated on the movie that was playing on your TV. Home Alone, the movie playing, a sort of homage to you and your girlfriend’s favourite movie and the redhead’s current holiday situation.

Through the speaker, your phone rang once, twice, then thrice before Natasha picked up. With her voice soft and gentle, you couldn’t help but smile at the sound of it. Your whole face aching with glee as you listened to your girlfriend greet you in tow.

“Hey, baby.”

You bit your lip in suppressing a smirk. Instead, you dawned your focus as you twirled the strings of your sweatpants around a finger.

“Hi, Tasha, how are you?”

“Good. I just woke up from a nap.” She hummed in content, slumber evident in her tone as she sounded every bit sultry and rough.

You frowned at the revelation. “Oh, I hope I didn’t wake you up. I’m sorry, Natty...”

Almost as if you could visualize it, the shake of her head as she sat up straight against her bed, you heard the creaking noise as Natasha rose up.

“You didn’t, baby. You’re okay. I’ve been napping for like three hours now. You were perfect timing.” You could hear the grin on her lips by her tone and in tow, it had you smiling to yourself like a nearly sane person.

But when the echo of your TV made the loneliness all too real, a frown lined your lips in return. You couldn’t help but sigh audibly against the phone, your guilt and shame wrecking through you despite Natasha’s words.

“I wish I could be there with you. Christmas isn’t the same without you here, Tasha.”

“I know, baby,” the redhead shared the same disappointment present in your tone, and while the situation was way out of your control, your feelings of misery was still ever present for the both of you. “I wish I was beside you right now. I’ve been stuck with Stark and his annoying ass family. I just want to hear your voice.”

You nodded at her words, smiling to yourself as you unconsciously watched the movie play on. Your lips widened at the thought and you almost couldn’t wait to tell Natasha about your day.

“I thought about you today, Natty.”

“Mmh, yeah? What about?”

The implication was present in her tone and the way your girlfriend’s voice fell like sweet, frozen honey made your legs clench together and body shiver in need.

You licked your lips just as you did, trying to pursue the facade you had, resisting Natasha and her lustful advances, but however much you did, the older woman was a hot redhead that everyone coveted.

With striking silken red hair, and creamy pale skin that reached over the miles of her legs, she was the catch everyone wanted. Both men and women, you were somehow lucky enough to have the older woman all to yourself.

“I-Um... It was a silly idea. I don’t think it’s appropriate.” You shook your head at the reminded thought. The idea motivated by lust, and in the evident unfulfilled needs from your girlfriend.

And now, the older woman had your cheeks warm in embarrassment and legs pressed together as attempted to coax the thought from you.

“Nothing is inappropriate when it comes to me. Cmon, tell me. I’m curious to what little naughty thoughts go on in that pretty head of yours, baby.”

You huffed, eyes up to the ceiling of your childhood bedroom before you were hesitant to speak your truth.

“I don’t know, I thought it would be a good idea. I thought I looked good today—”

“Oh, I bet you did, sweetheart.”

“Tasha...”

Natasha laughed across the phone, her chuckle loud as she found pleasure in teasing you on and on without remorse. “I’m sorry, baby. Continue.”

“I thought I looked good today. So, I don’t know, I wanted to send you an inappropriate photo.”

Natasha grinned at your words, but the game of teasing you has been so fun, she just couldn’t let it go. She was hoping your cheeks were just firing up the way it did when she teased you.

“A what photo?”

She heard you sigh through the phone, evidently embarrassed and quite obvious to what Natasha was asking.

“You know, those kinds of photo.”

Natasha hummed in faux query, feigning oblivion to your implications of photos.

“Oh, I’m not quite sure what those enquire, my love.”

A groan vibrated through the call, your frustrations evident as you spoke. “You know what I mean, Natty. You know? Nudes. Pictures of me... naked, I think.”

“You think?”

Your eyes shut close, the embarrassment rushing through your veins as you silently kick your feet against your bed.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve never sent pictures of myself like that before, I guess. It was just me topless. Nothing special.”

Natasha laughs at your words, the innocence and timidity of your tone. She’s ever wondered how you even found your way through such harsh world. The older woman ever nearly feels bad for her own seniority over you.

A woman like her, nearing late thirties, she shook her head of the thoughts and smiled at your coyness. She didn’t need that negativity mixed with all the frustration present in both of your lives.

Instead, Natasha called your name softly and caught your attention. “Did you send it, sweetheart?”

You shook your head at her question, only for the realization to settle in that she wasn’t able to see you at all.

“No, I thought it would’ve distracted you at work.”

The redhead chuckled once again and it had your cheeks firing up in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sure that your tiny little body would’ve been a distraction.” Natasha paused for a moment as she settled into the silence. “Can I see the photo?”

Your eyes widened and lips parted at her question, surprised that she actually wanted to see it. Granted, your girlfriend hasn’t had much sex with you ever since the holidays and now that the both of you were away from each other for the first time, your needs grew and so did the older woman’s.

“I deleted it, Natty. I’m sorry, I didn’t think you would actually want—”

“Don’t apologize, my love.” You smiled at her words and fell deeper into your pillow. “Can you turn on your camera for me?”

You scrambled to hold your phone properly, with Natasha on speaker, you attempted to find the button to switch it to FaceTime. When you did and the screen loaded, you were greeted by the face of your lovely lover.

“There you are, baby.” Natasha’s smile was still ever so vibrant despite the din lighting of her bedroom. Only a part of her face was slightly illuminated, you guessed that she had a lamp on, ever so faint and dim, you could still see every freckle on her pale face.

“Hi, Natty. I’ve missed you.”

You grinned giddily at your girlfriend, bottom lip rolled between teeth, while you practically bat your lashes at her.

“You look pretty like this, sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes at her compliment. Natasha had always been your number one supporter no matter what. You suppose that’s what you adored about her, her presence, and her wonderful elegance even when she drew the spotlight onto you.

“You can’t even see me properly.”

She hummed in disagreement. “I think your fairy lights are doing a great job of illuminating your face.”

With a giggle, you buried your face into your duvet. Natasha on the other end was grinning from ear to ear as she watched the whole thing play, her chest beating out of her chest at the sight of you.

“What’re you doing right now, baby?”

You watched her adjust herself on her bed, then reach for something out of frame. When she returned, there was a glass in front of her as she took a generous sip of red wine.

“Just layin in bed. Y’know, talking to you.”

“Alone, I hope?”

You bit your lip in tow to her question. The implication present in your girlfriend’s tone making your cheeks heat up. But softly, you spoke.

“Everyone’s asleep.”

You heard her set the glass of wine down. The sound of rustling echoing through your earbuds as Natasha moves against her bedsheets.

“That’s good, baby,” you watched as her tongue made an appearance and lick her lips, her green eyes were so oddly prominent you couldn’t help but be intimidated. “Can you do me a favour? Just for tonight? You can say no if you don’t want to.”

“Anything, Natty.”

Her smile widened and you watched in anticipation for her next request.

“Can you touch yourself for me tonight?”

You froze in your bed, eyes wide and cheeks hot and fiery to the touch. It was so undeniably silent that even Natasha froze in doubt.

When you swallowed your shame and found the voice to speak, you looked at your girlfriend through your phone in embarrassment.

“You know I always touch myself because of you.”

Natasha’s smile was evident and almost laughable when she realize that you weren’t understanding what she had been asking.

The redhead bit her cherry stained lips and shook her head with a chuckle. “Can you touch yourself for me through the phone? Thinking of me just as always?”

“Natty...”

She saw the embarrassment on your face and she shook her head in disagreement. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, sweetheart. I can always wait for when you get back from the holidays.”

“No, it’s just that,” you turned away from the phone with a pursed lip, “I— I’ve never done anything... like that before.”

“That’s okay, baby,” Natasha smile encouragingly at you and your features softened at her face, “You want me to help you?”

You nodded meekly, shy and filled with guilt.

Natasha hummed, her lips wide with a grin as she moved around her bed to her comfortable. You were already aching in need and Natasha could tell with the way you nervously bit your lip in anticipation for her response.

“Can you put your hand under your shorts?”

“Okay...”

Nervously, you parted your legs, just as Natasha watched through the screen, you sighed a shaky breath when you felt yourself soaking through your panties.

“Do you feel yourself, baby?”

You nodded with your bottom lip stuck between teeth. “It’s sticky down there.”

Natasha couldn’t help but blush at your response. Despite being older and being experienced, your shy response has the older woman blushing with excitement. The idea that you’re greatly starved has her core shaking and aching for relief.

“You’re wet, baby.” She hummed softly, “Do I make you wet, honey?”

You nodded.

“I need you here so bad, Natty. I miss you.”

“Oh, baby,” the older woman threw her head back with a frown, with her neck exposed to the camera, you hissed at the sight and whined with lust, “I miss you so much more. God, those videos of you aren’t enough anymore.”

Breathless, you spoke with a grin. “I suppose we can always make more?”

“Fuck me,” Natasha clicked her tongue when she shook her head. Her eyes went dark and you giggled at her reaction. “You’re going to get me in so much trouble with this phone bill, aren’t you?”

Playfully, you frowned. “I supposed you don’t want to see me like this anymore?” Natasha watched as you sat the phone up against a pillow, her view is now of that between your legs with your hand buried deep into your shorts.

With the straps of your tiny camisole and despite the shitty fairy lights that illuminated your room, she could see the way your perked nipples pressed against the cotton top.

“Goddamnit, baby.” The redhead shook her head with a sigh, while you licked your lip as your hand sawed back and forth under your shorts.

You could tell Natasha was getting inpatient with the way a scowl presented itself on her face and she made sure to voice it as she adjusted herself once more on her bed.

“Take your shorts off, princess. I want to see this sweet pussy.”

Your cheeks flush warm at her words, considering your girlfriend has never been this vocal about such sexual behaviour as she knew your lack of experience and such shyness, the word fell like curses.

Nevertheless, you followed her demands and lifted your bottoms off the bed just enough to slip the shorts off. Teasingly, you left yourself in your panties and kept your legs parted so your girlfriend could see the prominent wet spot on where you touched yourself.

“I said take it off, baby.”

You gave your girlfriend a frown. “I’m shy, Natty.”

“Don’t make me ask again.”

With a whine, you followed her demands. Your slender fingers hooked itself underneath the band of your underwear before you tugged them off gently from your legs.

But you kept your legs closed in embarrassment, ever so prominent in the way you fluttered and batted your lashes.

“My shy little girl,” you smiled at Natasha’s words. “Look how wet you are, baby, and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”

With a nod, you sighed and threw your head in pure lust. To say you missed your girlfriend was an understatement. You craved her so much that the simple thought of her kissing you, holding your hand, or merely pecking your cheek had your head in a daze.

“All for you, Natty...”

Subconsciously, your own hand travelled between your legs, and as it did, your body danced to its own accord and parted your legs in tow for your wandering hand.

Natasha’s hum vibrated against the phone when she watched you slip your delicate fingers between sodden lips. Your cunt deliciously parted with it wetting the length of your finger, and you felt the wetness of it just under the pads of your finger.

Just as softly, you circled your clit, that swollen little thing, right under your fingertips as you swirled your hand with a sigh.

The room was undeniably quiet and you knew that Natasha was touching herself just as much as you were. While tipsy on the red wine she was drinking, you knew your absence was affecting her much more.

Her whimper flooded your ears and it challenged you to quicken your own pace. You watched as Natasha settled her phone on her nightstand, and as she did, you were now able to see the upper half of her body laid against her bed. Her tank top pushed up just enough that you could see the curves of her breasts and the tone muscles of her abs, all the while she had her own hand buried under her shorts.

“Natty...”

Even out of the frame, you knew she had that gentle smile on her lips as she spoke back to your call.

“I’m here, baby,” you sighed at her voice, “keep touching your pussy for mommy, keep going, hon.”

You fastened your pace and as you did, a whiny moan left your lips. Your sawing hand was sloppy and careless and even despite it all, Natasha was enjoying the view of you rubbing yourself for her.

She merely imagine it was her hand that was doing the job, the only thing is, she would’ve probably shoved her fingers inside of your drooling cunt minutes before. She was an impatient thing and as she called for your name in the heat of the moment, she knew what she wanted from you next.

“Shove your fingers inside, baby.”

You froze in place and your legs clenched on instinct. You even looked at the camera as if she could see you. “What?”

“Pretend it’s my fingers. Just think of me.”

A giggle fell from you as you shook your head.

“It’s always you I’m thinking of.”

She hummed. “Cmon, darling. I wanna see you fill your cunt. Stretch it out for me before I come back, yeah?”

“Okay...”

Both cautiously and hesitantly, with a lip between teeth, your fingers dropped and travelled south. Between your wetness and your arousal, you teased your entrance for show for your girlfriend.

The sight made her groan as her hand worked faster. You whimper when you slipped that first finger inside, despite delicate and thin fingers, you were tight just the way your girlfriend liked it.

“Natty,” your desperate call for your girlfriend let her know you were close, and with the way Natasha knew you, she was more than well aware just she mimicked your actions.

“I know, baby,” her chest heaved in tow, “I want you to come for me, okay? Fuck yourself harder, cmon.”

You threw your head back and with a quickened pace, you reached your high with a squeal leaving your lips. Natasha’s end was any better, the woman was heaving in response, and as the two of you finished in sync, the both of you moaned for each other’s presence.

“Natty, it’s too much.”

Just as Natasha’s hand slowed down to a stop, she sighed when she pulled her hand and sodden fingers out from her shorts. She knew you were watching and when she neared the camera and licked her saturated finger, she heard your whimper.

“You did so well for me, baby.” She took the phone back into her hand and laid comfortably against the headboard. “‘S alright now, baby. You can relax.”

When you did, all the while laid on your bed naked, you smiled rather lazily when you took back the phone. Your lover was looking back at you with reddened cheeks and the embarrassment settled in to your bones when you realized what you had just done.

“We just did that...”

Natasha grinned.

“Mmh, and you were so good for me, baby.”

“Natty... Don’t say things like that.”

The redhead shrugged. “I’m just stating facts. Although, I will need to see the live action version when I do come back.”

“You’re insatiable, Natty.”

“Only for you, my love.”

“I must be special then.”

Natasha nodded. “Oh, yes. Very.”

You both shared a grin which yours softly became a smile. The silence was comforting as the two of you stared at each other until someone broke the ice.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

Your eyes twinkled when you looked up and saw the clock on your wall strike the twelve. You turned back to Natasha with a glimmer in your gaze. Even despite the time difference and that it had been Christmas for her three hours ago, you were in awe at how your girlfriend made you all goey.

“Merry Christmas, Natty,” you sunk your head down into your pillow and purred her name, “I love you.”

Natasha’s lip twitched. “I love you most.”

Peacefully, your eyes carefully fluttered closed. Natasha then knew it was time for her to give you your rest, no matter how much longer she wanted to speak to you, the sight of you sleeping wonderfully set her heart ablaze.

“See you soon, baby.”

Like A River

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 3.9K

A/N: This is part of a lovely prompt challenge I’m doing with @quietlyimplode. A bit of angst and a bit of fluff, contains some heavier themes.

There were two of you. You knew that from the start. You did not ask about her.

You were in love. You wanted to be.

Keep reading

Holy shit. Just saw Shang-Chi and it is IT. Before getting into the Chinese cultural parts of it, I'd like to note that it had a solid plot and wonderfully developed characters. The worldbuilding and CGI and the relationship building was absolutely phenomenal and I was absolutely hooked. The fight choreography was THE best choreography I've ever seen in the entirety of the MCU and the cinematography is amazing.

Now, onto the Chinese cultural references.

My god. I've never felt so seen. As a Chinese woman living in a western diaspora I've genuinely never seen something that so genuinely felt right and that truly felt like it connected to me personally. There were so many little details that I could connect to that made me feel emotional because I've never had any media that connected to me this way. It was so well done and it was so obviously done by people who lived through it.

(minor) Spoilers ahead! Just small details about the Chinese Diaspora experience in the movie.

Some little details that stood out to me included:

The food! All the food shown on screen was Chinese food - be it homemade food or dim sum platters - and those were exactly the types of plates that I grew up eating.

When Shang-Chi took off his shoes to go into Katy's house and she was wearing slippers inside the house

When he was walking through the little Chinatown area and there were the fruit cardboard boxes outside the Chinese groceries and the white sketchy dim sum sign with English on top of the Chinese

Katy struggling with her Chinese as a diaspora kid because she's only a heritage speaker and her first language is english

When Katy was struggling to pronounce Shang-Chi's Chinese name asldhhdjskala I felt that

Katy sticking to her English name despite also having a Chinese name bc she's a diaspora kid and is used to using the English name

Every single one of the magical creatures inside Ta Lo were inspired by Chinese mythology.

THE DRAGON IS A PROPER CHINESE DRAGON

Katy's parents comparing her to others and asking her to "get a better job" with her H. B. from Berkeley (I felt that)

The whole thing about familial expectations and relationships in Chinese families?? Bro. I felt that. Holy shit.

So. Much. Mandarin. I can't explain how happy I am to hear that language. Many western movies have a tendency to mainly use English with an accent but this movie used a LOT of (accurate!) mando and it makes me so happy

The architecture?? The art?? Phenomenal. Amazing. So accurate.

The shrine to the mother and the other deceased looks EXACTLY like every single Chinese cemetery I've been to, down to the photos and the incense and the fruits and all the people paying tribute to it.

The martial arts?? Oh my god. So good. I recognize it. Having trained in it and having watched multiple family members practice varying Chinese martial arts over the years I can't express how fucking happy I was to see arts such as Tai Chi and Wing Chun and Wushu on screen. I could recognize it. The forms, the movements - I can't explain how, but it felt right. It felt familiar. It felt so wonderfully connected to me.

There's probably more but it's late at night so more to come later, maybe. I'm going to just bask in the fact that this was a fantastic movie for chinese representation and I felt so seen. I went to see it with several other Chinese friends and. We came away so happy. We felt seen. We felt heard. I can't express how much this meant to us.

Representation matters.

CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019) + Letterboxd, as requested by anonymous (insp.)

Mom Nat and Dad Bucky notice their daughter is very stressed from school and they take it upon themselves to relax her and make her feel good :)

warnings: INCEST, mom!nat x dad!bucky x daughter!reader, slight cuckholding, and oral sex.

DO NOT READ if this triggers you. Your media consumption is your responsibility.

With his head between her legs, the redhead threw her own back in pleasure as the super soldier gave her cunt a languid lick. She was nearing to her finish just as both Natasha and Bucky heard their front door slam shut in surprise.

Bucky pulled away from his wife and shared a look, their heads both turning to the sound before they stood up and pulled down Natasha’s dress.

“Honey?” Natasha peaked her head into the room, worry evident in her tone just as she saw you laid stomach flat against your king size bed.

“Babydoll, you alright?” Bucky’s deep voice boomed through and just to respond, you kicked your legs in town with a cry erupting from your lips against your pillow.

The two rushed to your bed and sat on the edge, both opposite to each other as Natasha held a hand to your back and rubbed it softly.

Still in your uniform, your skirt rode up as you kicked your legs, screaming and groaning in frustration. Both your father and mother caught sight of the white undies you sported and Natasha couldn’t help but even blush at the sight.

“Is it school, bunny?”

You nodded in tow and the two Russians looked at each other with sorrow, the guilt present on their faces just as Bucky sighed.

“I have so many things to do,” you sat up properly this time and was met by your parent’s concerned faces. “Papers, reports, extracurricular. It’s too much...”

They frowned at your concern, worried for your health, both physically and mentally. Natasha shook her head at your words and inched towards you onto the bed. With a hand tilting your head up, she leaned close and closed the gap between the two of you.

“Natalia—” Bucky was shushed with a finger from his wife and as much as he adored the image in front of him, he zipped his mouth closed.

Your eyes went wide in surprise at the touch and taste of your mother’s tongue. While her kiss was soft and gentle, it was firm and driven as her hand drew your head closer.

She only pulled for a moment to breathe, a grin present on her face when she turned to her husband.

“Well? Don’t just stand there with your dick hard. Help me out.”

Missing in Action

Natasha x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 700

Notes: Last drabble of the night in the NEB universe.

You’re not sure what has you more stressed the crying baby in front of you or the fact that your wife is not home yet. You’ve called Natasha twice now to see when she’d be home from her mission and she hasn’t picked up either time. You should be used to it by now. You know how it goes. She’s home when she can be. She’s stopped taking longer missions after you had Ryan but this was a pressing matter. An alien attack of some sort. She’s in another country - last you heard Norway. She told you on her last phone call a week ago. She talked your ear off about how much you should visit and how much she misses you. She promised she wouldn’t miss Ryan’s first Christmas for the world. She wants to be there when he opens his presents. She wants to see the snow with you. Just like she does every year.

She promises to be home until she can’t be. It’s the procedure. She’s gone ghost as you like to call it. No calls, no texts, and certainly no emails. It’s a part of her job. It’s important to her. Sometimes you think more important than you.

No. You shake your head free of those intrusive thoughts. They’re frequent these days. The negative thoughts. Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you. Telling you you’re not worthy of Natasha’s love. You’re not worthy of anyone’s love. Some days you can’t get out of bed only opting to feed Ryan and play with him for as long as you can stand it. You feel like you’re drowning and the only person to talk to is unreachable. The only person that can drive away those dark thoughts and insecurities isn’t here. It hurts, even more, to think about.

Ryan is crying again for what seems like the fifth hour in a row. He just won’t stop. He’s teething. You know he’s in pain but nothing you do works. Not cold compresses, not Orajel on his gums, none of the remedies you read online. It seems the only thing that even remotely calms him is being in your arms and you can’t get anything done with him screaming in your ear. It’s a frustrating feeling as a first-time mom. He’s sitting across from you, clean, dry, seemingly tired but unwilling to fall asleep. You sit looking at him with your phone in one hand and a teething ring in the other. Your back is pressed against the couch, your knees are drawn to your chest, as you simply watch him. His face is angry and red. He wants your comfort but you can’t give it to him.

For a moment, you zone out. Life before marriage, before the baby, before everything was simpler. There was no one depending on you. There wasn’t that feeling of emptiness deep inside you. Natasha didn’t believe you when you told her. She told you sometimes these things take time. When would that be? You didn’t feel a connection to the baby boy sitting there. You didn’t feel that instant love like she did. You never wanted to admit it but sometimes you wondered how you did it. You’re supposed to love him. You do love him. Why didn’t it feel the same? Every time you looked at him you felt that resentment boil inside of you. Babies were supposed to be happy things. You had been so thrilled to find out you were pregnant. Why didn’t any of this feel right?

Postpartum depression. You’ve researched it well enough to think you have the symptoms but you can’t right now. Thinking about it makes it real and you don’t want it to be real. It’s a sign of weakness and you won’t show it. Now when all he has right now is you. Your feelings didn’t matter. You crawl the few feet across the floor to place Ryan on your lap. He rubs his face across your shirt as he sobs even louder. He’s in pain and you can’t even do anything to make it better.

You wish Natasha were here. She always knows what to do. She knows how to make him feel better. She is a better mother than you could ever be and you both know it.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” You whisper to the top of his head as you finally let the tears you’ve been holding fall.

Period Pains

Natasha x Reader

Notes: Made this because I'm in bed wishing I had a girlfriend to come cuddle me

Word Count: 1k

You can feel the disappointment settled deeply in your bones the moment you wake up. The unsettling feeling low in your abdomen causes you to sigh. It’s a frustrating feeling and you should be used to it by now. Yet it never seems to stop bothering you. You reach across the bed to feel for Natasha only to be met with nothing. She must be out training. You sit up slowly, hoping to ease the pain in your belly, as you try to wake up enough to go to the bathroom. Another month. Another week of pain. You plant your feet on the ground, hands pressed against the bed, as you push yourself to a standing position. You shuffle the few feet across the room to reach the bathroom. You reach under the bathroom sink to find a sanitary napkin before dropping down onto the toilet seat. You swipe at the tears in your eyes at the sight of blood in your panties. It shouldn’t feel like this. It shouldn't be this way. Deciding that you feel icky, a shower is the only way to get you feeling decent enough.

You stand again, flushing the toilet behind you before walking over to the shower. You turn it to the hottest setting you can stand before tossing the panties and your sleep shorts into the nearby hamper. You wait for the water to heat up before stepping under the shower. You can barely stand and everything feels unstable. Your head hurts, your breasts are tender, your legs feel shaky beneath you. You make quick work of cleaning yourself, hoping to alleviate some of the pain in your lower back as the water rains down on you.

Natasha will be home soon. Then she can come and lay with you. All you want is Tasha.

You step out of the shower to wrap yourself in a towel rushing to your bedroom to put on a pair of panties and the sanitary napkin. You’re not even going to try tampons. No matter how many times people recommend it having something inside of you seems to hurt. So you stick to pads. It’s a simple step and you toss the wrapper in the trash. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. Everything hurts. You try not to think too hard as you reach inside of the medicine cabinet for extra strength Midol. The only thing that makes periods bearable for you. You pop open the packaging, pushing the pills into your mouth, before turning on the sink. You cup your hands under the running water to sip the water. It’s enough for you to swallow and you do so with a frown.

Giving one final glance to the bathroom to make sure it’s clean, you rush back into your bedroom. You dig through Natasha’s drawer for one of her oversized t-shirts. It used to be Clint’s but now it’s hers. It smells like her laundry detergent and it brings you comfort while you wait for her. You stretch it over your head straightening it down your body. You don’t care about pants right now. It would only annoy you to have the fabric over your sensitive skin right now. You crawl into the middle of the bed pulling the covers over your head. You just want to sleep.

You don’t realize that you actually do fall asleep until Natasha is brushing her fingers along your face. She whispers for you to wake up and you do with a whimper. The pain comes back at you full force as you blink your eyes open.

“Hey, J.A.R.V.I.S. informed me you weren’t feeling well,” She speaks in a hushed tone. Her brows knit with concern and she gestures to the tea and hot water bottle sitting on the nightstand. “I brought reinforcements.” She says.

“Yeah,” You whimper again tears shining in your eyes now. “Hold me?” You ask. You don’t care how you look. You’re in pain and you want her. Natasha doesn’t hesitate to crawl into bed. You lift, waiting expectantly for her to find a good position, and that’s when you notice what she’s wearing. A simple black tank top, no bra, and biker shorts. She must have showered when she got here. She pulls you into her arms as she lies against the pillows. She reaches with her left hand to grab the hot water bottle pressing it against your back. You flinch slightly before sighing in relief at your aching muscles fighting against the heat.

“You got your period?” She guesses and you nod against her collarbone. She kisses the top of your head. She knows the first few days of your period leave you practically bedridden. She rubs her thumb soothingly against your bare arm under the sleeve of your shirt. You listen to her breathing for a few seconds finding the constant beating almost lullaby-like.

“I’m sorry, Tasha.” You say suddenly. “It’s not fair.” You press your face further into her body clutching her shirt between your fingers as another wave of cramps hits you. She knows what you mean.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” She soothes. “We can try again.” She promises. “If you want. Only if you want.” She says. She’s so understanding. She’s always so understanding with you. You close your eyes, trusting her to keep you safe, as you try to relax.

Natasha’s hand that had been rubbing your arm travels down your body and under your t-shirt. She reaches just slightly under the waistband of your panties, pausing her fingers when you tense under her. You’re sensitive but you nod against her to continue. She presses just slightly on the skin there. Right, where you feel the most pain. She massages gently and you whine. Her touches are gentle and caring as she tries to alleviate some of the pain you’re feeling. It seems to be working as you feel the muscles under her fingers relax just slightly.

“I love you,” You whisper to her.

“I love you too,” She whispers back.

It's okay 😭 anyways ive been feeling a little sick recently which sucks because it's almost christmas

That must feel terrible, at least we're suffering together I guess lmao sore throat vibes🥲 looking forward to christmas? :)

Steve *talking to the team*: Since we’re talking physical capabilities, on a scale of 1-10, how flexible are you?

Bucky: Why do you need to know that?

Steve: To measure how well you can bend out of the way of projectiles.

Wanda: *Does the back bend*

Natasha: *Does some impossible ballet poses*

Y/N: Does it count When Natasha bends me ove-

Steve: NO!

Jealousy, Jealousy

Summary: Y/N gets a little bit jealous that Natasha doesn't see the way that she feels about her- so why not see if she can make her a little jealous with her best friend. Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader Theme: Smut Word Count: 3.6k Warning(s): 18+ | Smut | Fingering | Oral | Cursing | Mommy Kink Author's Note: I uh- don't have much to say about this. But who doesn't love a jealous/possessive girlfriend. (Healthy, of course.)

There was never a point in time that you could recall not knowing that Natasha Romanoff was the only woman you wanted to call yours.

Her smile was one of the first things you had always noticed about her. Teeth flashing with each eager grin, a faint indentation of dimples and accented cheekbones, as she would slip past a laugh or a shoulder nudge with the expression. She was never generally one to get mad towards you, in fact, you can’t generally recall a time when she ever raised her voice towards you.

Certainly, she never held back from anyone else on the team, especially Rogers or Stark when they chewed at her nerves. You could remember a point in time where Steve had gotten on your case about failing to subdue an enemy quickly enough, and the redhead was quick to act in your stead. You’d never seen the super soldier sulk back further than when Romanoff was in his personal space. She was never afraid to break past his comfort-zone as she snapped back at him in defense for you. Most of the time you couldn’t hide the incredulous smile at watching Rogers tuck his tail while Natasha would gather herself and drag you away from the situation.

Your eyes darted to the familiar pull of her laugh echoing across the room, leaning against the bartop as Bruce Banner chuckled along with her. She stood slightly bent forward, propping herself up against her forearms as you watched her eyes glint with amusement. A swell of jealousy pooled in the pit of your stomach when you noticed Banner’s eyes default to the subtle view of her breasts that were exposed under the low-cut V of her t-shirt. Of course, you couldn’t generally blame him, she was beautiful. It wasn’t just the infatuation of her body to you though, which maybe was far more dangerous.

“You’re practically as green as him,” Wanda’s voice chimed as she slumped beside you on the couch against the opposite arm, throwing her legs up to lay across your lap.

The only response you offered her at first was a dramatic roll of your eyes, scoffing at the words before turning away from the sight of Banner’s hopeless flirting. She wasn’t necessarily wrong, you were green with envy, and the ability of telepathy that Wanda held made it pointless to fire back any denial. Instead, you only casted your glance down, observing your best friend’s legs that were strewn across your lap. “You can be such a brat.”

A laugh bubbled out of Wanda’s chest as she shot you an uneasy grin, leaning up slightly. Her back bent forward as you felt your breath hitch at close proximity she’d soon found beside you. The warmth of her breath ghosted across your ear, swearing for a moment you could nearly feel her lips against the cartilage. There was no doubt about it in your mind that Wanda Maximoff was beautiful, but you were so invested in your feelings for Natasha you didn’t see her as much more than your best friend.

“We could…” a faint pause caused you to match Wanda’s gaze out of the corner of your eye, “make her jealous?”

The sensation of Wanda’s fingertips tracing up your forearm ignited a fire in your stomach you didn’t know could be lit by the touch. An array of goosebumps flourished across your skin as your head involuntarily lolled to the side to listen closer to the brunette’s words, and to faintly admire the way her breath washed across your skin. Even your best friend couldn’t ignore the flutter of butterflies in her abdomen at the way you gave into her. You were so infected by any touch right now, your body was falling into any little skin to skin contact. She continued the motion, and you couldn’t help yourself but to test a glance towards Natasha.

“Don’t,” Wanda scolded harshly, nearly making you wince at the roughness of the witch’s thumb and finger twisting your chin to look back towards her, “we’ve barely even started.” She wasn’t bluffing, her chin dipped to let her lips brush upwards along your neck, drawing a scratchy moan from the back of your throat. The sound took you both by surprise, and you felt her nails slightly press into the faint muscle of your bicep. A faint string brewed in the spot, but it was jaded by the way Wanda took the skin at your pulse between her teeth. You could feel the smirk pulling on her lips against your skin, she was enjoying this. And you felt yourself questioning whether it was because of the reaction you were giving her, or if Natasha had taken notice and begun to brew.

You wanted to look in her direction, to see if the woman you longed for was turning just as green, but Wanda had you amply distracted. She was sucking softly on the tissue, not enough to leave a mark, but enough to draw out a moan beneath your breath once again. A wave of embarrassment rocked through you, hoping no one else heard the slip- except maybe Natasha.

‘She’s watching,’ the brunette’s words drifted through your mind, and you scowled at the fact she was communicating telepathically. You hated it when she did it, but right now, it was probably less obvious than outright saying it to you in the chance the assassin saw or heard it. The impatience in you briefly won out, and as Wanda was busy working her lips along your neck, legs still across your lap, you chanced a glance towards the redhead.

Your best friend was right, Natasha’s jaw was locked in place, paying no heed further to whatever Bruce was spewing as emerald irises were even more darkened in the dim lighting of the event hall. You couldn’t help the wash of enjoyment that grew when you watched her meet your gaze. With an unexpected grin, taunting the older women, you parted your lips to draw out an exaggerated groan of pleasure as you tipped your head back, eyes closing to let Wanda continue with you.

The feeling of her lips against you was undoubtedly making you squirm slightly, after all, who wouldn’t appreciate a beautiful woman having her way with you if even for a taunt? If you weren’t so distracted, you wouldn’t have mistaken the sharp grasp around your other forearm to be Maximoff’s, but the velocity in which you were pulled out from underneath the witch’s legs made you gasp as you stood face to face with Natasha. Her eyes were even more unforgiving up close, flicking back and forth between you and Wanda, who still wore a shit-eatting grin.

“Nat, is there something I-”

“What are you doing, Y/N?” She snapped firmly, keeping her fingers still wound snug around your arm as she stood intoxicatingly close to you. You could smell the faint floral aroma of her perfume that wafted past your nose, trying to keep your focus matched to hers despite the fact her body was nearly flush to you. Wanda had already left you in a state of slight desperation, and now that you were under Natasha Romanoff’s grip you could physically feel the pooling arousal between your thighs. You didn’t even notice the dismissive glance that the redhead sent towards your best friend that had her chuckling and removing herself from the situation.

A toothy smirk sprawled across your lips, trying her patience as you spoke, “You were busy with Bruce.”

The realization dawned on her almost immediately, her brows pulling together as she cocked her head, “You were jealous, weren’t you, sweetheart?”

You nearly felt your demeanor crumble at the way she now had the upper ground over you, throwing in the pet name only solidified that. You could just deny it, shake your head and roll your eyes at the accusation, but you knew she wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. Especially given the fact you’d whimpered at the way her grip didn’t relent around your arm when you tried to pull back.

“Don’t worry,” she mused, stepping towards you to a point where you had to bite back another sound of imprudence at the feeling of breasts pressing to your own, “I’ll show you how much of yours I am.” The grin on her lips never faltered as you sent her a bewildered glance, the look enticing a lowly chuckle from her, “I think you’ve been pining after me long enough, Y/N.”

This time it was your turn to pinch your brows together at the words. She’d known this entire time the evolving crush you’d had for her like a young child, and she’d toyed with that knowledge. You wanted to dispute that, or at least criticize her for taunting you this long when she knew damn well how you felt. Instead, you yelped at the way she tugged you along her path, dragging you back towards the elevator. You couldn’t deny yourself the luxury of casting Banner a short glance, looking like a wounded puppy which almost made you feel guilty.

“Where- where are we going?” You tried, struggling to keep up briefly behind her long and quick strides. A breath left your lungs as you finally drew in air once she stopped with you at the entrance to the elevator, impatiently tapping the button before looking over her shoulder at you.

“I told you, I’m going to prove how much of me is yours,” this time her tone was serious, unwavering, and her lips were pressed into a straight line. You might’ve fallen into a trance under her gaze if it hadn’t been for the sound of the elevator chiming to announce it’s arrival. There was no moment of hesitation as the older woman tugged you into the elevator, not even giving you time to glance back to the befuddled expressions on the rest of the team before the doors slid shut.

“But, where are we-”

Natasha’s body stepped around you quickly, cutting you off as her hand immediately pressed the emergency stop on the panel. A look of confusion met her as she stepped back in front of you, again leaving you no chance of a rebuttal before her hands were cupping your jaw and her lips were slamming against yours with velocity. Your balance wavered slightly, but the hold she had on your jaw practically kept you upright as you whined into the kiss. A faint taste of blood drifted over your tongue, but instead of inciting pain, it only made the drive of pleasure in you increase.

With your face firmly in her grasp, she began to step backwards, leading you along with her. Your feet struggled briefly, momentarily forgetting how to walk adequately before you were able to move along with her. You briefly took control, ushering her further back even when she tried to stop in the middle, not stopping until her back crashed against the back wall of the elevator. A gasp leapt from her lungs which you took advantage of eagerly by thrusting your tongue between her lips. The action rewarded you with a moan from the assassin that fell muffled into your mouth as your tongue swiped across hers. You wanted to repeat the sentiment when her taste rolled across your tastebuds, but you restrained yourself.

Your hand snaked down between you both, reaching vicariously for the bottom hem of her t-shirt. A laugh reverberated in Natasha’s chest, falling into your lips as she dropped her hands from your jaw to help you. She pulled the shirt off quickly, discarding the clothing item carelessly into the corner, hungrily cupping your face between her palms once again. The satisfaction of you in her grasp didn’t last though, pulling back to break the kiss as your lips ghosted down the side of her neck. A slow breath receded between Natasha’s lips, somewhere between a moan and a sigh, as you continued to trail your lips lower down and over her collarbones towards her breasts.

“Y/N-” the purr of your name falling across her tongue, and the feeling of her stare dropping down to watch you, only made your stomach churn in impatience. Your fingers worked to pull down the thin lace of her bra, silently appreciating the fact it was so easy to pull to the side. Her fingers forfeited to tangle back in your y/h/c strands as you took her nipple between your lips, earning a low groan of satisfaction from the older woman. You sucked back sporadically, gingerly using your teeth to scrape along the soft tissue and grinning at the involuntary jerk of Natasha pushing her chest closer against your mouth.

“Fuck…” the curse rolled off of her tongue as she pressed her head back against the wall of the elevator. Your tongue wrapped around the hardened bud, dropping your hand to now push under the waistband of her slacks. There was something particularly alluring about Natasha being in business casual wear, and right now, you were ever so appreciative of it. Your fingers dauntingly moved further down, clenching your jaw sharply at the realization that she wasn’t wearing any panties. A wicked grin crept across Natasha’s lips at knowing of the discovery you’d made, but as she moved to speak, your fingers ghosted along her slit, a moan ripping free from her throat at the touch.

Your fingers continued along her, gliding with ease at the thick coating of her slick. Any suspicions you had of Natasha being attracted to you in this moment were gone, feeling her practically dripping without even having touched her in the way she truly desired. Your lips abandoned her breast briefly, brushing your lips against the warmth of tanned skin as you spoke, “God- you’re soaked, mommy.”

The name caught you both abruptly off guard, your cheeks flushing in warmth as a shade of red sprawled across them. Natasha’s focus snapped down to scan over you, and at first you thought she was going to pull back, but when you felt her hips roll down to grind against your palm, any worry was sated. Her teeth hooked over her bottom lip, pupils nearly blown out in lust as a smug grin grew on her face. “Mommy, hm?”

You nodded shallowly, completely enthralled by the older woman who was helplessly grinding along your palm for any helpful friction. A whimper sounded in your chest when her hand clamped around your wrist, removing it from her pants and gently pushing it back in your direction. Your eyes watched her cautiously, thinking maybe she’d had enough, but as her fingers worked at the zipper on her slacks, you only felt the heat between your legs grow.

“You’re going to make mommy come then... okay sweetheart?” Her tone was coarse, deeper than it usually came across as she shimmied out of the slacks, letting them fall around her ankles before kicking them back to where her discarded shirt sat in the corner. Seeing her nearly nude in front of you, minus her bra, was sending you into a spiral. It was one thing to drool over Natasha Romanoff in her Black Widow garb, but seeing her completely exposed in front of you was a whole different ball game.

“Yes...” you quipped, nodding almost too enthusiastically as she returned her grip to sink through your hair with an approving chuckle. A slight pull against your hair brought you to your knees, and back towards her hot centre, feeling the heat practically radiating against your lips. You involuntarily whined as you felt her hook one of her legs over your shoulder, pressing her heel to the small of your back to keep you locked in place.

Whatever hesitancy you had left was void now, leaning in to let your lips traverse upwards along the inside of her thighs. As you continued upwards, you slowed the kisses at the crook of her thigh, just shy of where she wanted you most. Occasionally as you kiss along the spot, your nose would brush along her slit, causing her to pull you closer towards her, growling in a soft warning, “Stop teasing, детка [baby].”

You cast a final glance upwards, meeting Natasha’s glare that’s locked to you, and although there was a dominance in it, there was a softness behind her eyes as well. That was enough an answer for you to continue. Without notice, you rolled the flat of your tongue upwards, pressing deeply through her folds. You couldn’t stifle the groan at the mixture of a salty and sweet taste that filled your mouth from her slick. Natasha’s heel dug faintly into your back as her head fell back again, a moan rising from her chest that bounced off the metallic walls.

The grip she held in your hair tightened, anchoring you deeper against her cunt as she ground down onto your tongue. Her moans continued to decorate the elevator space, trying your best to find your breath against her. One of your arms lifted, looping around the thigh she had lifted over your shoulder, keeping her in place, while the other used the thumb of your freehand to press a circle against her clit.

Natasha’s strength faltered, but thankful to you, the support of her being draped over your shoulder kept her in place. The feeling of her nails scratching against your scalp made you groan against her, sending a vibration through her that made another gasp of pleasure break. Your tongue pressed down further, finding her entrance and slipping in without any resistance. Her walls promptly clamped around you, trying desperately to pull your tongue deeper. She was barely ushering sounds at this point, most falling trapped in her throat between the breaths she was trying to draw in. Your eyes lingered upwards to watch her, her mouth agape to silent sounds of pleasure as her head stayed tipped back against the wall. In all your time with the team, months and months of flirting and sly retorts, you never thought you’d get to this point with Natasha Romanoff. But here she was, riding your tongue, and falling apart under your touch in the confines of a stilled elevator.

“Come on, pretty girl, more,” there was still a slight hostility of a warning behind the plea, but regardless you weren’t going to test your limits. You were far too thankful for the fact that you’d gotten to taste her at this point, that you’d do anything she wanted you to do. The hand that you had previously working at her clit dropped down, simultaneously withdrawing your tongue from her core. An unexpected groan from the emptiness played from Natasha, teasing two of your fingers along her entrance before thrusting fully into the cling of her walls, bottoming out at your knuckles.

A scream of pleasure burst from the older woman, her back faintly arching off the wall to newly adjust around your digits. You withdrew slowly, helping dwindle the sting before thrusting sharply back into her and being rewarded with a gasp as her fingers tangled into your hair.

“Right... there,” she moaned between her lips, barely giving herself a chance to breathe before more followed as you began to pump gradually in and out of her soaked cunt. “Don’t..fucking...stop,” she slurred out between broken pants and sloppy moans. The sound of fucking you with her fingers sent you into a frenzy, wanting more and more as you began to already feel her walls flutter around you.

The coil in her stomach had begun to tighten, the thigh rested on your shoulder noticeably trembling as she grew closer to the edge. Your fingers continued to vigorously thrust into her, curling deeply to strike her g-spot with intention each time. The appeal of her chasing her orgasm made you want to keep her like this, but at the same time all you wanted to do was please the redhead. You leaned back in, running the tip of your tongue in quick circles along her bundle of nerves. That was all it took to send Natasha spiraling over the edge of climax.

Her thighs immediately tightened around your head, her leg wrapped around you following suit to keep your mouth in place against her. Your fingers continued to draw in and out of, ignoring the continuous clench of her walls fluttering as she came undone around them. A smile undeniably danced across your lips, your eyes watching her up through your brows. Her orgasm spilled along your knuckles, running partially down your wrist as she writhed against you. You never thought anyone could ever look so beautiful through an orgasm, cliché or not, but Natasha had you swooning entirely as she finally began to come down from the high.

“Sh-shit…” she breathed out in a light laugh, her chin finally dipping back down to match your gaze. Her leg fell off of your shoulder, and you took the time to remove your fingers from her cunt, bringing them to your lips to clean her orgasm off of you. Your own breathing was sporadic, caught by surprise when Natasha pulled you back up by your chin to clash her lips against yours. A gentle whine emitted against her lips, giving her a chance to slip her tongue between your lips and hum at the essence of her own taste in your mouth. You both stayed like that for a few minutes, your hands trailing random shapes on her abdomen as her hands cupped your jaw in their grasp, before you both drew back.

“See, sweetheart, no need to be jealous,” Natasha mocked gently, holding your stare as her thumb swept across the corner of your jaw, “leave the turning green to Bruce.” You couldn’t contain the faint chuckle that escaped at hearing her words, a smile spreading across your lips before you found them pressed back against her own.

Sometimes- jealousy can pay off.

Moon Song ➺ N. R.

Summary: It’s hard not to feel like Nat hates you – maybe it’s because you’re not good enough.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Gn!Reader

Word Count: 696

Warnings: Self-doubt, swearing, angst with a happy ending :)

A/N: This fic was inspired by “Moon Song,” by Phoebe Bridgers.

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it was neither 😔 im sorry i meant that genuinely

OH lmao my bad I'm doing okay, how are you? :)

sera , my love! how are you?

I can't tell if this is a porn bot or sarcasm lmao

Fleeting

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 561 words

A/N: Have forgotten how to write because I have the mind of a fish. trying to get back into it. Fluff.

You notice one day that Natasha is insecure.

 It’s almost funny to you, the concept is so surreal.

Her confidence is why you started talking.

She’s driving you home and she glances over.

Her smile is nervous and you don’t understand why.

Before she pulls up outside your building, she tells you thank you.

Her voice is hoarse and you’re surprised.

You give her a gentle smile back.

Your eyes meet. 

Understanding settles between you.

Natasha kisses you.

Your voice is hoarse when you murmur thank you too.

Natasha stays over that night.

Your lives starts tangling together.

It feels good.

She taps your waist when she walks around you. 

The gesture is light as air, it makes you feel settled.

Natasha sings when she cooks.

You ask her if it makes the food taste better. She sticks her tongue out and offers you a forkful.

Natasha tells you that you’re shit at video games. 

Her voice is so pitying that you feel like you’ve been diagnosed with ineptitude.

She plays Mario Kart with you every single night.

She teases you about your driving, but her smile is excited.

She keeps asking you to play again.

She straddles you on the sofa and tells you that you’re a danger behind the wheel.

You are her friend. 

You are more than that too.

But, being her friend feels special.

You want to celebrate every part of loving her.

She trusts you.

You don’t realise at first.

She starts telling you about the missions she goes on.

At first, she only tells you vague locations.

Then, she starts to debrief little fragments. 

One day, you find her caught in a silent storm of tears.

She lets you hold her.

Things are different then.

She invites you to sleep over more and more. 

You start splitting your time between apartments.

One afternoon, you arrive earlier than expected.

Natasha glances guiltily at the sofa when she lets you in. 

You see your usual pillow lying there.

You realise that she holds it when you’re not here.

That night you tell her that you love her.

Her smile is wide. 

Her eyes fill with relieved tears.

She was waiting for you.

Natasha starts holding your hand when you walk together. 

She asks your opinion about everything.

She starts playing your favourite music.

Natasha gives you her favourite book. 

The pages are worn and you feel like she’s written on every page.

You borrow her laptop and learn that she’s looking at new apartments.

You think she’s moving away. 

Natasha finds you crying.

She starts crying too.

You’ve never seen her so scared.

Her words are disjointed when she tries to tell you about family.

About what she’s never really had.

About what you mean to her.

Natasha tries to tell you that she wants to live with you.

She can’t meet your eyes.

Her fingers are tapping, and the sound slips from rhythmic to compulsive.

You wonder if she’s counting out your last seconds together.

You watch her wait for you to leave.

Things slide into place.

Your voice is careful, but it’s also certain.

You ask if you can be her family now.

Natasha cries harder.

You touch her tapping fingers and they stop moving abruptly.

You kiss her knuckles.

Natasha is not a time or place.

Natasha is not fleeting.

Natasha is your family.

𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐧. 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟

a/n: because @twilight-99-tm and I couldn't get needy top beefy!Natasha out of our heads.. really that's all, hope y'all like porn! Technically a part of my Kinktober, but it's not a request, I just wanted to write this really badly

warnings: 18+, minors DNI; smut; strap-on sex {r receiving}; sex from behind; kinda restraint just because Nat is really strong, but all consensual obviously; denial/teasing {Nat receiving}; dirty talk {mutual}; a little overstim at the end if you squint; pet names {Natasha calls R baby}

summary: When Natasha comes back one night, she needs to alleviate an ache which just so happens to manifest itself in the form of making sure you're taken care of

words: 1.1K

kinktober event. || kinktober masterlist. || main masterlist.

“Please?”

Her words were so soft, way too whiny to be considered anywhere domineering. But her arms.. they kept you pinned in place, cheek pressed tight into the pillows below as your girlfriend practically rut against your backside. “I don’t know.. why should I?”

It was a cruel game you were playing, knowing she’d never do anything you said no to— but currently you were only saying no to torture Natasha. The thick length of her strap dragged back and forth between your folds, legs kept spread by the redhead’s strong thighs. “I know you want it as badly as I do… don’t be stubborn, malyshka.” Two groans rang in unison as the tip of her piece nudged against your clit, the devious part of the toy buried inside Natasha hitting a surprisingly sensitive spot. “I’ll fuck you until you’re begging me to stop. It’ll be so good, I promise, just— please.”

You hated denying her, especially when she was begging so sweetly in your ear, offering anything your heart desired if you’d just let her have this one thing, “But Natty…” Sleep was so close to claiming you when she’d come in, stealthily as ever. It was a mistake to think Natasha had come to bed so early just to cuddle with you, but you’d settled in her embrace easily, breathing in her sweet scent. When her slightly calloused hands began roaming your body, tugging at your flimsy sleep shorts, you knew you were done for. Something about your girlfriend coming to you so needy, so insistent that she couldn’t wait, drenched you in an instant and when you felt the telltale bulge of her favorite strap on press against the curve of your ass, it took everything in you not to cum on the spot. You’d managed though and theorized that you couldn’t not take advantage of her neediness.

So rarely was she in the mood to show you outwardly how much she yearned for you and so often, you gave in right away, letting her escape the need to beg. Not this time. “I know, I know you’re tired, but you don’t have to do anything. Just let me take care of you?” Ultimately, it was the fact that, amorous as she was, Natasha still only wanted to make you feel good that broke you. You’d never hear it aloud, but watching you come undone as many times as you could for her, crying out until your voice was hoarse and your only thoughts were her and how perfectly she was fucking you— that was better than chasing her own high.

The knowledge that you needed her as much as she needed you fueled her very soul, you knew it did. Every time Natasha’s pupils dilated just a tad bit wider when you asked for her and only her, when you sought her out amongst a crowd of people, when you were the one pleading for her to alleviate the ache between your legs; she adored tending to any need you brought to her. “Go on, fuck me. Fill me up how only you can.”

Exactly what she wanted to hear, Natasha pulled back just enough to align your bodies, one hand gripping your hip hard as if she was scared you’d twist away and deny her again. She sank in with little problem, your body accommodating the stretch and welcoming sting easily, “So ready for me and I hadn’t even touched you… did you get off on making me ask you to open up for me?” Her movements were slow and steady, drawing out each push and pull so you could truly feel every inch of her.

Natasha only let you move a little, just enough for her to know you wanted more, but not enough freedom to take what you needed. Needy as she was, Natasha was in control; she determined what you needed when. “Natasha… harder, go harder,” Like clockwork, her hips sped up, driving you almost painfully into the mattress.

“Like that, baby? You want me to fuck me so hard you’re walking crooked for the rest of the week?” You nodded, teeth biting down on your poor pillow as your fist balled the edge of your girlfriend’s shirt in a death grip. A rough hand met the swell of your ass with a sharp slap that left you crying out; Natasha wanted to hear you. “Words. Use them.”

When her words got clipped, it only meant one thing: she was close. “Fuck— fuck me, hard as you can.. ruin me.” Natasha’s pace quickened with your admission, frantic as she neared the onset of what she’d been waiting so long for. Holding back wasn’t an option for either of you, unabashed in using each other for your own pleasure. “Like that.. please, Natasha..!”

“You’re taking me so well, so deep,” Self-indulgent as she was tonight, Natasha knew if she wanted you to come with her, she needed that final push. “Does your needy little clit need some attention?” The only answer you could manage was a weak ‘yes,’ mindlessly trying to gain any friction, but Natasha still held you in place for her perfect angle. Sometimes you resented the fact that the woman never skipped an arm day.

She sacrificed one hand to find yours, guiding them down to where you were obviously dripping under her brutal fucking. Her fingers covered yours as they finally met your sensitive bud, circling and pinching perfectly in time with the silicone toy stretching you open. “N-Nat, I’m gonna.. can I cum? I need it so bad.”

Natasha practically growled, sinking her teeth into your shoulder as she desperately fought off her orgasm before you got yours. “Cum for me, do it now. Be a good girl and cum around my cock.” You came with an echoing cry, your fingers soaked with your own wetness as Natasha gave one final thrust, grinding your hips together until her walls were clenching around the bit inside her. She shuddered heavily, her body falling onto yours as you both came down from your highs.

You fell boneless onto the bed and the redhead followed suit, her front melding against your sweat-sheened back with ease. If you were tired before, you were exhausted now, the force of your activities threatening to drag you into unconsciousness. “Sleepy..”

Your girlfriend only hummed, peppering kisses along the back of your neck, over your shoulder blades, “You did so well for me, baby, I love you.” Her hands smoothed over your arms and hips; the massage should’ve been simple enough, but then the touches turned more suggestive again and stupidly, you tried wiggling away. Of course you didn’t budge and, tired as you were, when Natasha’s fingertips found your weeping entrance again, you pushed into her touch. “Think you can give me one more? I just missed you so much.”

Your head was nodding instantly, whimpering when you felt two fingers enter you to the hilt. The answer was always yes when it was Natasha. “Let me watch you cum again, just want to see you… that’s a good girl.”

These Hands of Yours Pt. 2

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, talks of therapy and allat, bruises, anxiety and whatnot

Summary: Can you forgive Natasha after she attacks you in her sleep?

A/N: again, a very rushed ending bc I literally never know how to end anything. even essays, corny ass ending.

Part 1

The sun shining through your window was what woke you up the next morning. When you opened your eyes you were met with Natasha’s green eyes that were a little puffy from last night. Her hand was still tightly intertwined with yours, her thumb rubbing you softly.

“Hi.” She whispered out quietly. You could finally see her features perfectly with the sunlight now covering the whole room instead of the moonlight. You watched as her gaze traveled down to your neck, and the events of last night flooded through your brain. You tensed up, and Natasha noticed.

“Good morning.” You replied in the same tone. You looked at everything but her, knowing that you would break down if you continued to look at her. Tears were unwilling pooling in your eyes, and you felt Natasha squeeze your hand.

“Baby,” she said in a pleading voice. “It’s okay. You can let it out now, Y/n.” You closed your eyes and shook your head, unable to speak any words due to the lump forming in your throat. “Can you look at me, please?”

A sob escaped from your lips at her comforting tone. Her voice soft and reassuring which is exactly what you needed to finally let go.

“I was s- so scared, Nat.” She pulled you into her chest, holding you closely as you cried and vented. “I- I thought t-that you were upset with me about earlier,” She closed her eyes as more tears formed in them, guilt flooding through her body.

“A-and then when I realized you weren’t yourself I was even m-more scared. You weren’t responding and I tried so hard to- I didn’t know what to do.” With all of the talking and crying you were gasping for air at this point, and Natasha sat the both of you up.

“I- couldn’t… I didn’t, Nat.” You were still crying and hyperventilating. She held your face in her hands, forcing you to look at her.

“Y/n. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, detka, but I need you to try and breathe, okay?” Natasha grabbed your hands and placed them on her chest, hers going back to hold your head in place. “Follow my breathing, detka. You can do it.”

You copied Natasha. Breathing in when she did, and out. It took a few minutes for you to finally calm down enough, being reduced to whimpers and sniffles. You were still breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath when you spoke up again.

“I didn’t know what to do, well I couldn’t do anything.” Your eyes drifted down to the bed sheets. “One of your hands was holding both of mine down until I slipped one out.” Natasha closed her eyes and brought you closer to her, kissing your forehead before resting it against hers.

“I am so, so sorry I put you through that, detka. I’m so sorry.” Tears were streaming down your face as you nodded at her. “I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you, okay?”

You shook your head and opened your mouth to tell Natasha that she didn’t need to do that, but she cut you off before you could speak.

“It wasn’t up for debate, Y/n.” You looked at her and only saw love mixed with guilt in her eyes, her hands hovering over you as if she was scared to break you. The ever so caring Natasha Romanoff here in front of you would never intentionally hurt you, and you knew that.

“I uh… I’m still a bit shaken up.” You mumbled out.

“Talk to me.” She demanded gently. By now you were both sitting face to face with your legs crossed on the bed. Her hands were on your knees while you played with yours in your lap.

“Well,” you gestured to your neck and shook your head, Natasha nodded in understanding. She knew when to push you to talk, and when to wait patiently for you to open up. For now she would do the latter.

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments before your stomach grumbled. You groaned out of embarrassment and put your face in your hands. Natasha laughed lightly.

“I’ll go make breakfast. Is that okay?.” Natasha said while patting your legs. You nodded at her and smiled softly. She kissed your forehead and she hovered over your lips before pulling away. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” You answered her by pulling her back towards you, your lips connecting with hers in a soft kiss. She smiled when the kiss ended.

“I’ll be back. I love you.”

“Love you too.” You watched as she walked out of the bedroom, and the tension released from your body. You went to the bathroom to clean yourself up and your chest tightened at the sight of your neck. A dark red and purple mark where Natasha’s hand pressed against you was present, and you knew there was no way you could hide it from anyone.

You sighed and got ready for the day.

In the kitchen, Natasha was leaning on the counter with her head in her hands. She was beating herself up for allowing the stress to consume her to the point where she hurt you. In more ways than one. She thought back to how she snapped at you, and let you fall asleep alone. Natasha thought back to how scared and small you looked when you backed away from her after she had choked you. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to suppress her sobs.

“Nat?” She straightened up her posture at the sound of your voice and busied herself with grabbing food out of the fridge. She turned around when she heard your footsteps get louder, and she melted at the sight of you in her hoodie and sweats. They were both a bit big on you, but neither of you minded.

“Yes, detka?” She asked as she set the food on the counter. She started to get bowls and pans out as you sat down on a stool at the counter.

“You need any help with anything? I can make the eggs while you do the pancakes?” You asked hopefully, but hesitantly. Your anxiety was telling you that you didn’t want to upset her again. You watched as she sighed and your heart dropped. Her demeanor the same as last night when she snapped at you while working.

“Are you sure you’re okay to be around me?” All of your worries washed away after hearing her small voice. You realized she wasn’t mad at you, but at herself. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, and clenched your fist to stop your hands from shaking.

“I- Yes. Natasha I’m okay to be around you.” She just shook her head.

“I can read you like a book you know?” She crossed her arms and looked at you softly. “I can see how on edge you are right now, and I don’t want you to feel like that around me.” You stayed silent. “Y/n, if you need space then I think you should take it.”

You fiddled with your hands and stared at your lap. You knew she was right. The whole situation was making your anxiety go crazy, and you didn’t want to feel like that around her either. Of course, deep down you know that she would never intentionally harm you, but your mind wasn’t letting it go so easily.

“I think…” You started and kept your gaze low. “I think you’re right, but I don’t want to break up.” You could see her move closer in the corner of your eye, and you looked up at her when she was in front of you.

“We’re not breaking up, baby.” She whispered out. Your eyes locked with hers as she cupped your cheeks with her cold hands. You leaned into her touch, the heat from your cheeks sending a wave of comfort through Natasha. “I just want you to be able to sleep with out having to worry about me. Maybe I can go stay at the compound for a bit.”

Tears were building in your eyes now, and she wiped them away. “What about the spare bedroom here?” You asked meekly.

“If that’s what you’re comfortable with.” She smiled when you nodded, and you found yourself doing the same. She leaned down and pressed her lips against yours softly but passionately. She pulled away and your eyes fluttered open when she cleared her throat. “I really am sorry about yesterday.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Natty, you were having a nightmare.” You frowned at her.

“No, not about that. Well, yes about that but no. I’m sorry for snapping at you. This mission is just bringing up a lot for me, and you were right I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” You were still sitting on the stool looking up at her, and you could tell she was about to cry again so you wrapped your arms around her and nuzzled your head into her stomach.

“I forgive you, just please talk to me instead next time. Or…” You trailed off not knowing how she was going to react with your next words.

“Or what?” She asked, her hands running through your hair and keeping your head on her.

“Or you could try therapy?” You felt her hands stop their actions. “I know you said you’ve went before, but if the job is pushing you to the point where you’re acting out in your sleep then maybe it’s time to go back.” She sighed and continued to flow her hands through your hair.

“You’re right. I’ll call Pepper to see if she knows any good ones, okay?” She felt you smile and nod against her stomach, your arms squeezing her a little tighter. “Now let’s get some food into your stomach before you go all Hangry Hulk on me.” You gasped and playfully shoved her away.

“You swore you would stop calling me Hangry Hulk!” You glared at the smirk on her face and crossed your arms. “Not funny.”

“That cute little angry face of yours is just proving my point, detka.” Your face burned and she laughed as she started on the food.

After Natasha called Pepper she told you that her therapy sessions with a Dr. Raynor starts next week. She told you that Dr. Raynor has helped Bucky and still does, so Pepper is sure that she can help Natasha as well. You told her how proud of her you were for trying, and that you were still there if she needed you to be.

The next three weeks were spent with Natasha sleeping in the guest room. She’s been meeting Dr. Raynor twice a week, and Natasha could physically feel the weight leaving her shoulders after ever session.

The fourth week you finally caved and snuck into the guest room when Natasha was asleep. You woke her up and asked her to hold you, and she did so without a second thought. Your mind and heart were finally on the same page about Natasha, your anxieties no longer consuming your every thought when you were around her.

The trust you had for Natasha was never gone, but it only wavered after that night. Now though, after weeks of reassuring, comforting, and chasing away each other’s fears, the two of you were better than ever.

And you still trusted her more than anything.

Imagine This  - Sink

You x Leigh Shaw (Sorry For Your Loss - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Anonymous asked:

TW!

Would you be able to write a Leigh Shaw x reader where the reader struggles to eat and Leigh comforts them?

It’s totally fine if that goes too far and you feel uncomfortable writing this

You are married to Leigh Shaw and life has been pretty good but everyone has bad days luckily you are not alone and Leigh is the most supportive caring wife.  

TW: Eating Disorder, Struggling to eat, mental illness, depression, anxiety

Here is the title song: Suffocate by James Quick & Lauren Sanderson

Specifically “Can I justify the days I barely eat, If I starve until my cheeks can’t help but sink? How deep can I go ‘till it’s too deep? If you hear me start to choke, please reach for me.”

Read On Ao3

AN: I loved writing this thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it. I tried not to make it too triggering to folks who struggle to eat but please read with your own mental health in mind.

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