;)

Discuss.

Our trumpet section isnt nearly that close, but damn, I wish it was. But either way. Fight me, I dare you.

Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

*Lightning on the feild*

Literally Everybody: We're human lightning rods!!!!

Literally Everybody: *Sticks instruments and flags into the air as high as they possibly can*

Marching Quotes #1

"Do you think if I just stood in the road a car would hit me?"

"Why is there a frog on your head"

"We look like a cult."

"We are a cult."

"Could you please take the frog off of your head its distracting everyone."

"Its suns out guns out bois."

"Ooh you looking extra thicc today"

"JOIN THE ARMY"

"I was twirling and your locker was in my way!"

"Wow that sounds like jazz band!"

"Your trumpet is a dad."

"I hate my section almost as much as I hate myself."

"That's not funky fresh. It's the opposite of funky fresh... not funky fresh."

"Let's switch trumpets"

"IS THAT A PHONE?"

"I definitely played all of those notes correctly."

Marching Quotes #3

"You guys sound like a wet, soggy potato chip."

"Why are the sousas all twerking with their sousas around their waists?"

"You all like soggy potato chips?"

"I like soup!"

"Is squad zero people the people who dont have their instruments?"

"You're going to eggplant arent you."

"I want a peach."

"Hold me back, sir."

"I'm moist."

"Look out for the puddle of suffering."

"mY sOcKs aRe dAMp"

"I RAN AND IT WAS A MISTAKE."

"The puddle is suffering, death is going inside and still walking in water because it's in your shoes."

"I want to kermit go home."

"(Trumpet) LOOKS LIKE AN ANTELOPE"

"We must discuss those two's removal from the trumpet party."

"You have to be a big tittie"

"WE NEED TO GO TO W A R"

"WhY are you a bIRd?"

1. Steal some trumpet player's trumpet (or just get one, either works)

2. Find someone willing to teach you!! (A trumpet player might seem odd, but most actually want to teach somebody - probably to feel validated, but hey it works - and if none of them say yeah, then the director will help!)

3. be loUD or be disgraced by the section :)

I wanna learn trumpet but I don’t know how to go about learning it help

I feel like now would be a good time to inform you all that I do not speak bass clef

Theres a version where I squeezed drumline into their box. We all knew where they went already tho, so...

Discuss.

Serious question. What is the best instrument?

As a trumpet player I feel obligated to make this post because I haven’t seen anyone make one for trumpet yet so...

Apple

A very nice start! He is very shiny. He seems to be missing the first slide saddle and also some spit valves. His bell is rather large a trumpet his size, but overall, a very beautiful boy! 8/10

Google

Where are his slides? A trumpet is not just buttons, mind you. His tubing has disappeared. 2/10

Microsoft

His valves do not go anywhere??? There are still no slides, as well. The black outline gives it a bulkier look and it does not suit him well. -2/10

Samsung

Ok slightly back on track here. His tubing is better than the last two, yet still no slides. His bell is oversized again, but this seems to be becoming a trend. 4/10

WhatsApp

And we’ve fallen behind again. At least his bell is normal size. The tubing and slides have fallen victim to the emoji norms. 0/10

Twitter

aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA    -328050982/10

Facebook

Wow, he has a ring! It is an oversized ring to match his oversized bell, but a ring nonetheless. His tubing is gone, but his mouthpiece looks relatively normal. 3/10

JoyPixels

He looks like a trumpet! His bell is flat, but he has slides!!!! And tubing!!! 8/10

emojidex

That’s a trumpet! His bell is a bit round, but his tubing and slides are on point! He even has spit valves! 9/10

Messenger

Just when we were getting on track. His bell is obviously dented in some way if you can see the other side of it. He has no tubing, either, but his mouthpiece looks okay. 1/10

LG

I’ve never seen this instrument before, what’s it called? -3589053425092346587/10

HTC

I have been told that standing a trumpet on it’s bell damages it. His tubing is nonexistent, and his mouthpiece looks like a mushroom. 0/10

Mozilla

His tubing is thicc. Where is his mouthpiece? And slides? 2/10

SoftBank

That is a good looking boi! He has no slides, but he looks better than the last few and, frankly, I was excited to see a good-ish one. 4/10

Docomo

Uh, it’s trumpet line art, but okay then. He has no slides tho. 3/10

Well this has taken some time and my files are now cluttered with gross trumpet emojis. Have a nice day, frens!