I. What. I. No. There’s No Way He. I. What. That Couldn’t Have. No. What. What. What. What.

You know when a bastard shows up in a Brandon Sanderson book he’s about to be the single coolest man in the entire series. There’s something about the concept of a man torn between two worlds that inspires Sanderson to absolutely cook.

Something fascinating about Words of Radiance in comparison to Way of Kings is… everyone is so much angrier??? Kaladin and Shallan are like- mostly just pitiful the entire first book, but now that their situations are improved the both of them just go off the rails.

SHE DIDN’T GO INSANE SHE JUST FELL IN LOVE

KILL ME

Shadows of Self Spoilers

She’s wearing Lessie’s face… and knew in intricate detail how she “died”. She was either Bloody Tan… or Lessie herself. I am. I am confident Lessie was a Kandra the whole time. It fits her hatred of being manipulated by Harmony… maybe she actually loved him? Maybe she didn’t want to lose the life they lived at the time. Maybe she was forced to go along with Sazed’s plans and lost her favorite face… and that broke her. Fuck, please if I’m right I’m going to be irreparable.

MeLaan is absolutely incredible and I love her so much. She and Wayne are a phenomenal pair. Every dynamic in this book is amazing. I honestly haven’t even met a single character I’ve disliked or even found boring yet.

(Also you guys better send me MeLaan x Wayne art in the reblogs, I’m begging. They’re perfect. If anyone can pull a shapeshifting, immortal demigod it’s Wayne.)

Well hey there lookie. I was fucking right. I’m always right. Another God. I’ve been reading too much Cosmere I’m beginning to see the lines.

Mistborn Era 2/Stormlight spoilers

Just gonna go out on a limb here, but I think the big bad organization Wax’s uncle is working with is preparing for some sort of Cosmic war thing. The things they are doing are utterly reprehensible and the only way I can fathom them doing it with a good conscience is believing it’s for the “greater good”. So with the knowledge that the government is… well, made of these men, and Harmony isn’t corrupt, the only thing big enough to make this make sense (obviously to a demented, immoral mind) would be an out-of-world threat like Odium or another Shard.

I imagine their justification is something like “You see what you did to that building, Wax? With these children we can selectively breed allomancers and feruchemists of whichever type we want, then combine their powers with Hemalurgy to create impossibly powerful soldiers. Imagine an army of 100 Miles Hundredlives! We’d be unstoppable.” With knowledge of hemalurgy and compounding and all that, I imagine they’d independently arrive at the concept of making another Lord Ruler, which like… would be extremely difficult to deal with for anyone we’ve seen in the Cosmere. But yeah, they’d feel they were doing the right thing, “making the hard choice for the greater good”

Then Wax would be all like “but the cost in lives is ridiculous! This is not worth it, man, can’t you see that?” Blahblahblah blah. This is a stretch, so I’d not be surprised if it’s something totally unrelated, but a lot of Rhythm of War is spent ranting about an impending God War, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable.

I love Shallan and Kaladin so much I love the way they bicker so much they’re the most clever stupid people I’ve ever seen

“Why don’t you use my bridges?” Says Sadius. “Why don’t you strand yourself on a plateau with my men serving as the only means of escape?” Says Sadius. “Why don’t you hand me the knife while removing the armor from your back?” Says Sadius

This upcoming betrayal weighs on me. But it does highlight something interesting. Brandon Sanderson does an excellent job of introducing concepts, then having them pay off in the other narratives. (See: Shallan’s “lesson” on human morality followed immediately by the Kaladin flashback where he realizes bravery does not always mean fighting) This chunk of narrative - the betrayal of Dalinar - brings to mind the words of Kaladin earlier in the book when someone mentions how a betrayer amongst the Bridgemen could utterly ruin them all. He says they simply cannot worry about it, for if they did, nothing would get done… and he’s right. Dalinar’s trust is his downfall, but it causes change. Dalinar, in making the choice to trust Sadius, has allowed the world and the war to shift in a way that would not be possible otherwise.

It’s a bit fascinating

Ooohhhhhh my God the One of Husks not believing Kaladin could have possibly not used any Stormlight. This is so good.

Would These Cosmere Characters Survive Email?

There was a post I saw talking about how Achilles of Iliad fame would not survive sending one polite email, despite being good at, you know, war and stuff. It got me wondering: Would Cosmere characters succeed if they had to Send Email?

1. Steris: Yes

Steris is a master of email. She's cutting down her enemies with "per my last email" and "just to make sure we're all on the same page" and she knows how to use both CC and BCC.

2. Vin: No

Vin is leaping out the window at the first sign of email.

3. Kelsier: In a way

Kelsier signs off every email with "Smiles :)" which is terrifying, given some of the emails he writes.

4. Marsh: Yes

Marsh doesn't think that Kelsier writes good emails. Marsh, however, feels that he writes very good emails. Most of which contain the word "however."

5. Lezian: No

Much like Achilles in the post I saw, Lezian would die if he had to send one (1) polite email.

6. Sadeas: Yes

Sadeas has one of those fancy email signatures that says "Torol Sadeas" with green lettering in a cursive font. Adolin has always been secretly jealous of it.

7. Dalinar: No

Dalinar strikes me as one of those people who are incapable of answering more than one question in an email, who when asked, "Would you like to have the meeting Tuesday or Wednesday," simply respond "Yes."

8. Marasi: Moreso than she thinks

Marasi is always having a friend read over her email for her to make sure it's okay, but she's actually very good at email and probably doesn't need to do that.

9. Vivenna: Less so than she thinks

Vivenna writes emails that are politic but incisive...and never once has she been understood properly. Greg from IT still hasn't forgiven her for that email she sent a year ago that Vivenna thought was pretty charming.

10. Jasnah: Yes

Jasnah's emails are long, polished, and perfectly grammatical, and her eye only twitches a little bit when she gets "yeag" in response.

11. Lightsong: Yes but also no

Lightsong's emails are great! But of course, it's actually Llarimar writing them according to his "interpretation" of what Lightsong says.

12. Shallan: Yes but also no

Shallan was taught Proper Email Technique as part of her education. But also she saw that "Your timesheets are now three days overdue" email...and then she ceased to see it, and now she's busy designing Adoliin a new email signature that's way better than Sadeas's and uh maybe Radiant needs to take over again.

13. Adolin: No

The worst turn-based combat, in Adolin's opinion, is email. Why can he not simply duel Maurice from Accounting with swords?

14. Sarene: Yes

Sarene's favorite turn-based combat is email. Because she always wins.

15. Raoden: Yes but it's not his favorite

Raoden would much rather pick up the phone or stop by your office, but he can do email if he needs to. It's just much better to talk in person, you know?

16. Fort: No

His emails keep getting flagged as spam. If he didn't put "Great Deal!!!" as his subject every time maybe it would be different.

17. Yumi: No

It's not that she writes bad emails exactly, but she definitely overwrites them. Her intro paragraph is always like five lines long, and her conclusion turns "best wishes" into like nine sentences.

18. Rlain: Yes

Rlain is unfailingly polite in emails, even when he is responding to one that was...less than polite.

19. Sazed: Yes

Sazed's emails are meticulous and well-written, and he can always cite the exact policy he needs.

20. Renarin: It's mixed

Renarin appreciates that email allows you to consider and craft your response, but he does NOT appreciate that tone is impossible to determine. When his boss wrote, "We need to have a meeting," Renarin thought he would die (it ended up being about what color balloons to order for Sharon's birthday). Renarin just wishes humans would use email tone indicators like the Singers do.

In the voice of the JJK Narrator

They were all defeated, except - of course - Kaladin Stormblessed.