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Writing advice...

... About military things from a soldier

Pt. 2 / ?: Women and relationships in the military

You wanna write a story with a militaristic setting, like CoD or R6S? You wanna create a female OC, self insert or character, but you don't know where to start, if women are even allowed in the military?

Well, lucky for you or not I know what that feels like and I've also got the combat / real life experience to help ya out!

Feel free to hop in my askbox or dm's and ask questions. I'll gladly elaborate and do my best to answer in full and plenty.

Disclaimer: My experiences and knowledge are mostly based on the German military, the Bundeswehr. They may differ from those of other countries.

Happy writing y'all! :)

Are women allowed in the military?

The answer seems obvious: Yes. Most militaries around the world do allow women to enlist. Some, however, do not allow women to join the special forces, such as the SAS, for example.

Certain branches report a higher number of female soldiers than others. The US army air force and sanitation in the German military are two examples I can think of.

Some countries do allow women to enlist but forbid them from partaking in "action", such as North Korea, Sweden, Norway, Bolivia and some more.

What about misogyny by male soldiers?

In my six years of active duty I've learnt that sexism rarely occurs, but when it does, it's straight forward and nasty. Most men don't care about your gender. They treat you like you're one of them, and oftentimes even forget about the fact that you're a woman. The few times I was talked down to for my gender was blatant and hateful though; but even then, some of these opinions didn't come from within the military, but from civilians. (Cue the old granpa who saw me travelling back home in uniform and just had to tell me that women belong in the kitchen, how in the good old days women were still women yadda yadda. Yeah, I had the same look about on my face like you now.)

Appearance is important!

As is in any military. I can't speak for them though, but in my experience, light and natural make up is allowed. Nail polish and lipstick are a hard no though, albeit the latter may be allowed for special occassions. If there's one thing my comrades have taught me it's that most men in the military got no clue about make up, so you'll probs get away with more than you'd think.

The exact rules however depend on your unit and what you do. Back when I was in sanitation I'd be working a pretty standard 9 to 5. Worked in the medbay and treated patients, kept the medical archive in order, pretty normal stuff. My superior allowed us to wear small ear studs. When I got deployed to another base I was almost lynched for wearing them. Really depends on the ones in charge.

As for hairstyles: Most units are fine with anything as long as your hair is up and out of your face. Now, we didn't have to use gel to keep stray hairs at bay. It wasn't that strict. Just don't use any flashy hair accessories and hair ties that match your hair colour. Oh, and your hair must be a) one colour and b) a naturally occuring one. The length doesn't matter as long as you're not Rapunzel. If your hairstyle is anything other than a pixie cut, you will have to wear a hair net under your combat helmet.

Do men and women stay in seperate dorms?

Seperate rooms? Yeah. Seperate dorms? Nope.

Sometimes you'd have couples who shared a dorm room. It's a whole process that your superior has to give his ok to, but I honestly wouldn't recommend it. Dorm rooms aren't exactly big. You need privacy? Well, that's too bad.

If you're lucky enough you get to have a room for yourself. Depending on what branch / base you're in, the rooms will be more or less furnished. Back when I worked at the ministry of foreign affairs, my room was pretty luxurious for milutary standards: TV, fridge, sofa, bed, desk w chair, a closet and a bathroom next door. That's definitely not the standard though. We usually had to buy and bring our own stuff, like blankets, fridge, decorations, whatever you'd need to make that cold room somewhat comfy. (Wifi is also not a given. Gotta get your own connection running.)

Flings, relationships, cheating spouses... How common is it really?

They do happen, though not as often as you'd think.

It's more common to hear rumors about who has smth going with who and these rumors can get BAD. As in reputation and career ruining bad. At that point there's gonna be an order from higher up to stop talking about these rumors and punishment can be quite strict. (Speaking of rumors...Hate to say it, but the more women a unit had, the worse talking behind others backs was.)

One thing that I always found particularly disgusting were relationships between higher ups and recruits. Yes, they happen. No, they're not allowed. These things are like open secrets. If found out and proven to exist, the superiors will be held accountable by military law. Outside of basic training it may be frowned upon if a superior were to enter any kind of relation with someone of lower rank, thought not outright punishable.

As for cheating... Well, I haven't enountered any cheating myself, nor heard of it (yet). Not saying that it doesn't happen, but at least over here in Germany it's rare. It's highly frowned upon and will open you up to rumors and... Not so nice treatment by comrades. Cheating on a spouse is punishable by military law. A soldier found guilty may be demoted in rank, suffer financial losses or even get dishonourably discharged.

Please listen to me: You can and should be critical of American imperialism. And you should also simultaneously acknowledge Russia’s imperialism. This is a “both things can be true” situation. Hating America’s imperialism doesn’t make Russia’s imperialism any better. You guys dO get that, right?? Just because the governments of China, North Korea and Russia are America’s geopolitical adversaries, you understand that doesn’t make them “right” whenever there is a war about to break out. You get that, right? “America bad” doesn’t automatically make everyone else good.

One thing I read a lot on the left is how you don’t get to be a U.S. President without committing some war crimes and human rights abuses along the way. Well, I’m asking certain people on the left to carry out that line of thought, just a little bit further. Extrapolate: no country gets to be a world power without doing the same—certainty no Western country. This is not me knocking communism or socialism, but if you think that China and Russia haven’t committed atrocities, then I beg you to research the what’s happening in the Uyghur community in China, or the LGBTQ community in Russia. Is America good? Hell no! Does that fact mean that Russia must be “good,” because they’re our enemies? Again, hell. fucking. no! C’mon fam. This shit isn’t that simple. Nobody’s hands are clean here.

Acknowledging that Putin and Russia are threats isn’t “propaganda” just because it might momentarily make the Biden administration look good. I don’t care about that. I care about the people on the ground who are literally staring down the Russian army. You are not being “woke” or “enlightened” by pretending that Ukraine isn’t in danger, and that even if it was, we should ignore what’s happening there because Ukrainians must surely want to rejoin Russia.

I’m making this post because I’ve already been hit with this fucked up “logic” from some now blocked followers, and yeah, it’s overly simplistic, it’s weak af, and it’s super disappointing coming from some “leftists.”

I literally had someone boastfully comment on a post that nobody cares about Ukraine—this was from a blogger who calls themselves woke. JFC! Reset the mf alarm and try waking up again.

I don’t give a shit about NATO, I don’t give a shit about Joe Biden & the Democrats, and I don’t give a shit about what Putin doesn’t want in Ukraine—Ukraine isn’t in NATO right now, is it?? Try forgetting about NATO and American echo chamber sources for two fucking minutes. If you call yourself a leftist, then at the very fucking least you shouldn’t want war. You shouldn’t be so casually fucking indifferent to people about to try to defend themselves. You shouldn’t want to see a sovereign state get invaded by a much larger aggressor. That’s at the very fucking least.

Where is your fucking heart? Where is your fucking solidarity? Where is your compassion?? Innocent people are about to start being killed—unnecessarily—and some of y’all are more worried if shit might make Biden look good?? Foreals?? GTFOH.

You can’t say the Trump supporters who tried to undo a national election were wrong, and also say Putin is in the right for rolling tanks into Ukraine to overthrow their government. Hate militarism? This is militarism. Hate imperialism? That’s exactly what tf this is. On steroids. Wrong is fucking wrong.

Ukraine did this, Ukraine did that, but then you’re going to turn around and pretend that Russia has a perfect human rights record? In some misguided attempt to show everyone your “communism” is “pure”? Please kiss my entire Black ass. Some of y’all ain’t shit.

If this whole Russian invasion thing has you somehow defending Vladimir fucking Putin, then you are really fucking lost, not left.

I stand with Ukraine. 🇺🇦

Thank you for everything. I'll miss you.

hey!! I made something!! can ask!!

can repost, but with credits nwn

feel free to use!! reblogs would help!

Tiny trick I use when I draw “growly” expressions is starting the lines at the tear duct It doesnt always start there but when simplifying art that’s the method I do!

Pukicho why isn't your name puchiko?

Because puki is a cute nickname and puchi sounds like coochie ( fun fact they all mean coochie)

rereading my own writing is just a constant fluctuation between "damn, girl, you wrote this? (affectionate)" and "damn, girl, you wrote this? (derogatory)"

I kind of suck at tagging, so I made this infographic to help make it easier.