Plot: Regulus Is Talking To Sirius About His New Boyfriend.

james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?

james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’

sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’

remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’

regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’

marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’

lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’

mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’

dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’

peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’

sirius tricked james into telling him about his relationship with regulus, regulus isn’t happy.

regulus: first things first, james here is a fucking idiot, and if he tells you anything fucking different he’s a liar and a fucking snake.

regulus: *smacks james on the forehead*

regulus: fuck you.

give me moots 😩🫶

(i am in no way kidding, pls dm me, i wanna be friends with all y’all <33)

Every mutual group has:

a chaotic mutual but doesn’t show it

a cinnamon roll mutual but says that they are chaotic (not true)

a mutual who wants to commit arson

a mutual who wants to commit murder

a mutual who sunshine personified

a mutual who is so cool, it intimidates you

the mutual who makes edits/moodboards etc, they are hella cool

a mutual who wants to kill god

a mutual who is god. Periodt.

a mutual who has seen all the discourses

a mutual who has gotten involved in every discourse

a mutual who gets in a discourse accidentally, they didn’t mean to

A flirty mutual

a bookworm mutual

a dark academia mutual

chaos incarnate mutual

a mutual in A continuous existential crises

a mutual who is addicted to making picrews

a parent mutual, the only one with a brain

and a popular mutual

We stan!!!!

chaotic good

barty: your ex is waiting by the common room entrance, they’re begging to talk to you.

regulus: *applying nail polish*

regulus: too bad, i only do second coats not second chances.

more jegulus and their struggle with french <3

regulus: are you done practicing?

james: yes! i’ve memorized what to say to sirius this time.

regulus: right, go on then.

james: tu es…a dúmmy…?

regulus: *facepalming* bête.

sirius and regulus are eavesdropping on their parents while they’re discussing politics, and are texting each other whatever they hear.

sirius: did she just say that voldy’s going to enforce a marshmallow?

regulus: a martial law, you gormless git.

Reblog if you’re bisexual, support bisexual people or are actually a bunch of tiny velociraptors in a human suit

james: *is laying on the floor with a clear quartz stone on his head*

james: i do not chase, i attract, what belongs to me will simply find me.

sirius: *peeks his head into the dorm room*

sirius: james, come say hi to regulus in the common room.

james: HI — IM JAMES BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT — IM THE BEST CHASER HOGWARTS HAD EVER SEEN — I LIVE TO CHASE.

plot: sirius got dumped.

james: do you feel like you weren’t enough? is that why you feel so choked by your emotions?

sirius: i know i’m not enough, otherwise he wouldn’t have left me.

marlene: did you get the weird breathing trouble yet?

sirius: what, asthma? i’ve had that for ages.

james and marlene: *burst out laughing*

sirius: *gives in and starts laughing through his tears*