HE IS HERE!!

I accept your cats and as a thank you, here is one with an extra large boop snoot.

And now for a segment I like to call…

Cats with tiny faces.

That’s it.

So, I was hungry and I was about to go to bed, so I asked my sister if I should have some fruit.

She said I should go get an apple if there are any left.

I went to go check and instead found a lot of lemons and a couple bananas. (My family has a lemon tree growing in our backyard.)

I grabbed a banana and went to tell my sister that there were no apples.

I went up to her meaning to tell her something along the lines of:

"There weren't any apples, just a bunch of lemons. I grabbed a banana instead."

Instead, because my brain works perfectly, I said with a shocked/disturbed look on my face:

"There are lemons everywhere.

I have a banana."

I don't know why I said it like this, but this is the greatest thing I have ever said, I swear to god.

My worms that I ordered came yesterday and My sister @maisymousebabey and I made my friend a pair of Roman and Remus worm earrings @thatsthat24

He is now...

Traffic cone mustard ketchup man.

Today, before class started, our teacher went outside to talk to some kids so I was just kind of waiting quietly. Then, my phone vibrated. I checked it and I see I got a text from a friend of mine who was sitting in the back of the class.

Literally all it was:

“(Classmate) looks like a traffic cone.”

I looked at the dude she was talking about and he was wearing this florescent orange hoodie.

I, obviously, found this hilarious. (I don’t like the guy she was talking about, btw.)

But like now I know that I will never see that dude the same way ever again.

He will always be the guy that looked like a traffic cone.

He is traffic cone man.

Today, before class started, our teacher went outside to talk to some kids so I was just kind of waiting quietly. Then, my phone vibrated. I checked it and I see I got a text from a friend of mine who was sitting in the back of the class.

Literally all it was:

"(Classmate) looks like a traffic cone."

I looked at the dude she was talking about and he was wearing this florescent orange hoodie.

I, obviously, found this hilarious. (I don't like the guy she was talking about, btw.)

But like now I know that I will never see that dude the same way ever again.

He will always be the guy that looked like a traffic cone.

He is traffic cone man.

Video Game Idea.

A game that is marketed as your standard fishing game and for the first 20 minutes or so you catch normal fish like bluegill and bass and what have you. But the further you go into the lake you start to catch fish with mutations and it gets more and more intense until you’re pulling in Eldritch horror monsters and sometimes severed human limbs. You realize you don’t recall how you got to this lake in the first place and the objective becomes to find your way back to shore. You have no real weapons but you can throw the creatures you’ve caught far away from the boat as a means to distract whatever is underneath you, bumping into the boat sometimes. Additional items for the game.

A fishing pole with a radar that starts out with just beeps but later includes noises with hidden messages.

A GPS that displays texts and story elements.

You meet other boaters, all from various backgrounds, countries, and time periods. Some are friendly, others want to sacrifice you to the lake monsters.

You can also take the route of sacrificing others to the lake monster.

Or you can assemble a party and work to keep them safe.

The more fucked up looking the fish you catch, the closer you’re getting to a boss fight, which is usually running from something you can only see part of in the water.

????

And that’s my game idea.

What if someone remade "The Birds" but the birds were creepy humanoid things just like the "Cats" remake

My school is literally just shitpost material PART 2

All of this post came from @willspoopytacos . Thank you!

A teacher once told a kid to "eat dog shit" in mandarin

A guy stood on a cupboard/pigeon hole thing and everyone just fucking yeeted stuff at him

We had to choose a country for a school event and when we decided on Russia the teacher asked what kind of russian themed activities we could do. The immediate response from eveyone was "vodka shots"

He told his teacher that he looked like a woolies employee and he stuttered for a bit before saying "No"

He screamed and a uni assistant looked at him and just went "mood"

He played the final countdown on a keyboard in music and people started singing and headbanging

He told someone to "grab my ass and say no homo".

He and a few other friends tortured me with Mr. Brightside.

Anytime Rockerfeller Street is played, our friends immediately do the dance thing.

"would you like to duy my bonkey?"

A friend brought their 2 pet mice to school.

He had a fucking mouse in his sleeve for the entirety of a class.

He and some other friends (I think) got bored of boiling water in science and attempted to boil a mandarin.

 I did the 'you know I had to do it to em' thing to him from a distance and he just screamed "FUCK YOU!".

The vice principal watched him throw a banana off the bridge and when it splattered in front of him he said "TOO HARD, DETENTION BREAK 2"

He unscrewed some screws in on of the desks in a science classroom. He's planning to finish unscrewing them and just walk out with the tabletop.

The school did a Doctor Who musical and he and another friend hid behind the sets and aggressively danced whenever a song came on.

The vice principal was giving a speech about being responsible and respectful during assembly and the TARDIS was slowly moving in the background.

 He was playing Thomas the Tank Engine on the piano and every time he did it the same kid would say something about it being the mario song and he hit his limit and screamed "IT'S NOT FUCKING MARIO".

 Once some kid was skipping class to play the piano so he snuck up behind him and started shaking him and screaming "GO TO CLAAAAAASSS".

Hopefully, the saga continues.

Forced everyone in the group chat to change their display name to the first result they got from this Monster Factory name generator.

…it was an excellent choice.

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………