By Emma_Anacortes

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

Okay, but like—imagine with me here:

It’s Mabel and Dipper’s 21st birthday, and as a celebration Stan and Ford take them to a interdiemensional bar that just ABOSOLUTELY HUGE and it’s a bar that exists inbetween universes, so in the bar that night of Dipper’s birthday—

There’s a ton fuck of Dippers there.

Turns out, they rented the entire place out.

There’s a bunch of them from different AUs—Monster Falls, Transcendence AU, Fight Falls, Reverse Falls, Zero Gravity, even a few of the Dipper’s from the fanfics the fandom makes. Some of them are monster hunters, leaders of the criminal underworld, interdiemensional backpackers, professors—and they’re all just drinking.

To the surprise, shock, confusion and horror of the Canon Pines, they’re all talking about Bill and complaining about their Pines families.

Like—

“But why is Bill so hot though?”

“I dunno man, ask Mr. I-Was-A-Triangle.”

“But why was he a triangle in your universe?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers y’know.”

“Maybe it’s the freedom and chaotic appeal. Beats our families.”

“Oh yeah, they’re pieces of shit. Like all the times Ford looked down on me—“

“When Stan used me for a money schemes—“

“And all the times Mabel just left us for fucking dead.”

“Yeah, what were we thinking? That asshole literally almost threw the entire Multiverse into chaos, just for another day of summer, that little—“

“I, for one, enjoy the chaos.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you insane maniacal bitch. You like Weirdmageddon. Stop with the torture stories dude. I’m trying to drink my problems away here, not gain more.”

“Let’s just be glad we all left those losers for Bill!”

“And Wirt!”

“And whoever the fuck Wirt is! Here’s to fucking our families over!”

“And pulling our heads out of our asses!”

“Cheer—“

“What in the actual fuck?”

All the Dippers just turn to see the Canons and they’re all like—

“Well if isn’t the straight, bitchy loser of the group!”

“Ugh, and he’s still hanging with them.”

“LETS ALL POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM!” (And yes, that was probably Alcor).

The Canon Pines get called out for their bullshit, Dipper gets explained the messy batshit the fandom calls Billdip (and Pinescone/Cipher Pinescone) and meanwhile, in another room of the bar—

There’s just the Bills and Wirts from the Dippers’ universes.

Most of the Wirts are having civil conversations and making small talk and comparing universes.

The Bills, on the other hand, are literally congratulating and patting themselves on the back for being so hot and amazing and getting Pine Tree (and Music Note/Pilgrim, in some cases). Like—

“Ah yes, we’re so amazing.”

“And hot.”

“And we have great personalities.”

“And Pine Tree is ours.”

“And Music Note.”

“Ah, we’re so great.”

“Here’s to our beautiful, legendary asses.”

“Cheers!”

I think I just improperly used the English comma please help

Steve: I'd like to show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Bucky: Okay but in my defense, Sam bet me 50¢ that I couldn't drink all that shampoo

Steve: That's not-

Steve: You drank shampoo?!

Bucky: what? no...

gen z culture is waking up feeling either yeehaw or yeenaw

AO3 IS DOWN. MY LOVE MY ROTTON SOLDIER MY GOOD TIME BOY. THEYRE GONE

id like to devote this post to ao3. You’ve always been a constant in my life and I love you. Let’s hear it for ao3.

What even is life insurance. Like a totem of undying from minecraft

What's this productivity tonight

Unheard of

Anyway I really like the way this sketch came out and they just look so done with everything and everyone. M̶o̶o̶d̶

Lately I've had problems sleeping I've found that I can't actually even feel tired until past 5am which suck bc by the time I'm awake which is like 5-7pm I can't really socialize and it kinda sucks so idk maybe I'll actually do something productive I guess

Bad mental health tings (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

you understand that johnny as he is a product of systematic failures and injustices, right? failure, after failure, after failure, thorough his entire life.

johnny never should've been in the military. he was a child. he might've lied about his age, but it was the job of the adults around him to ensure he be barred access; it honestly wouldn't surprise me if they purposefully allowed him through with no regard for his real age because they were more consumed with desire for any and all soldiers they could find than regard for putting a child though hell that even the most well adjusted adults find intolerable.

according to the timeline, johnny was born in 1988, and he was apart of the military in 2003 - additionally, johnny has a late birthday, in november. throughout most of 2003, and likely throughout his time in the military, johnny was just 14 years old. i tend to think about this a lot, because it has got to be one of the most agonizing things possible to really consider for his character. i do not say that lightly. to be a 14 year old boy, barely even a teenager, suffering through some of the worst horrors of the world at an age where you are incredibly vulnerable and just beginning to try to grow into the person you'll become. it puts things into perspective in a way that truly paints a picture of the life he lived from then on, especially knowing he formed his life around identification and the impact and symptoms induced by his cybernetic arm.

as someone who's been through my own fair share of being failed over and over by every kind of system that should have protected me when i was so young myself, i get why he is the way he is. to really consider his life, the way he's lived, the place he's lived, the circles he's been surrounded by; anyone would become exactly like johnny, really, you can even see it in the other characters, too.

night city continuously produces incredibly violent and manipulative people who are fighting tooth and nail just to survive because the cards they were dealt in life were all trash. johnny's tragedy there is not particularly unique, and that's horrifying.

i don't blame him, not one bit.

My collection of clothing references for writing.