Ever Start Making Art And Then You're Done And You Realize It's The Middle Of The Night? Yeah Me Neither

Thinking once again about Durgetash and the concept of servitude.

About how Durge was made for servitude. Their whole purpose was to do Bhaal‘s will, to let Bhaal act through them, to worship in total obedience. And they *did* for a long time. For them, servitude was (un)holy, it was admirable because it meant serving a greater purpose (bringing upon the end of all things).

And how Gortash on the other hand spent his entire life fighting against authority so he won’t have to serve *anyone*. First his parents, then the house of Hope, then the city… climbing literally out of hell and up those climbing social ladders until the only one he serves is the one who helps him to the top. And only as long as it fits him- considering he was fully willing to share his throne with Durge, something that - as many have pointed out - is very much against Bane’s whole thing and could be considered disobedience once again.

And I’m thinking again about how Gortash calls Durge *his* assassin in the same conversation he calls him his *equal* and…

There’s something beautiful about the thought of Durge, who was born to serve One, straying from that to instead rule with another - a blade who chooses their own wielder - and Gortash, who refused to serve and instead fought his way to the top, who saw himself as above all others, at the height of his power stepping aside to lift someone to his same level.

I can’t help but look at them, look at all their narrative foils and dichotomies and similarities, and think that there was never any other choice but each other, in whatever capacity people headcanon.

There really is no one who does it like them.

I think a really interesting angle to look at Gortash's and Durge's relationship from, is the twisted sense of...safety Gortash got from it.

Safety? Around the Dark Urge? You must be mad Tumblr user Felassanis! Well give me a second.

It's about the same type of safety you might get from a really violent dog that trusts only you. Who snaps and is willing to bite anyone except the one holding it's leash. This is great for maybe going on walks if you're terrified of being attacked. A good dog to have in a house in case of burglary or whatever...

And Gortash has never really known much safety. He wasn't safe from the abuse of his parents, the abuse and danger of being raised by Raphael and his staff. He's not even really safe from Bane, his own God, who Gortash MUST know that if he fails him Bane is gonna make him suffer big time. Then, he was in a very dangerous line of work being an arms dealer in the Underworld prior to becoming a lord, surrounded by crime syndicates out to stop him from rising the ranks.

The guy literally has anti-anxiety armour. He, to his core, is pretty much still that terrified little boy Raphael had in the Hells, the little boy cowering from his vile parents.

Then he meets The Dark Urge. The child of the God of Murder Bhaal. The progeny of one of the most darkest and most violent assassins to ever walk the world. An Assassin themselves. And they enter a deal together, one out of neccessity to achieve their ends of course. But wherever Gortash points...Durge will go and kill.

That's perhaps not the strongest basis for a relationship. But then, Gortash and Durge start...admiring one another. Deeply. And this is where I steer into head-canon territory...but imagine having a Bhaalspawn as deadly and as effective as Durge essentially almost at your beck and call. But more than that, they are your partner. Dare I say, Durge potentially becomes Gortash's own assassin?

If someone were to try and take Gortash out. Durge would stop them. And it would be for more than just to safeguard their alliance so they can dominate the world. It's also because Durge likes Gortash. They don't want him dead, the bond has gone much deeper now.

Gortash has always had to save himself. Look out for himself. Until he finds an equal and a partner in The Dark Urge. And there is so much you can chew on with that.

That's an incredibly powerful thing to have. The admiration of a Bhaalspawn like Durge. A cruel, violent thing that he has the confidence of. A murderous creature who stays their hand around him, but will snap at whichever target he points at. That must be such a safety net for Gortash, and it's not just one he's bought out, or dominated, or tricked into serving him whatever. This safety net comes from somewhere genuine that he has EARNED because he's gained Durge's admiration.

To Gortash, being the fucking exception to a creature of murder must be such a privilege. And it gets him a kind of safety he's never known from another person. Ad yeah, he definitely saw the benefit of having this from a detached standpoint - ooh look at me, Durge won't kill me and that pissess off literally everyone and I can use this to my advantage. But I reckon Gortash, who also respects Durge, is honoured by it. Affected by it. Cherishes it.

Going into MAJOR head-canon/fanfic territory. It's even intriguing to think about this mostly violent person being vulnerable and softer around Gortash. (Like the mornings waking up together hehe) Seeing these humanising moments that, arguably the Chosen of Bane shouldn't be privvy to as no doubt Bhaal is fucking seething. But he sees it anyway, and is likely the only person ever to see them like this. His own little reign of tyranny over them as he sees sides to them never shown before. But it's a two-way street - Gortash when he reunites with the Dark Urge, is very visibly on display very happy to see them. He's not able to contain it much because...he thought they were dead. His favourite assassin, and here they are alive and well and things can go back to the way they were and he's elated at that idea.

Lastly, I have to rain on the parade just a bit with some canon. Yes, there is a sense of privelege to being the only one a violent dog won't attack. But how permanent is that relationship? A really violent dog in reality, is only a few triggers away from turning on you. Biting you. And in Durge's case, yes they maybe don't want to kill Gortash. But that isn't how it was ever going to end between them. Funnily enough, Gortash's safety around Durge was only ever temporary. Gortash was always going to die one way or another and it's extra tragic if the one person he ever found some safety in is the one to turn the knife on him. Even more so, because it was originally destined to be this way had they dominated the world. Gortash was both safe and never safe from The Dark Urge.

Snowfall

Another experiment with drawing Gorty, already feeling more confident with his features!

So I have seen a lot of people chuckle over that "younger man" line in relation to Gortash (as if it is not said in direct comparison to Ketheric) and taken it to mean he might have an issue with aging/some midlife crisis going on.

I'm very much not in that boat. He looks his age. He is one of few characters who does. (Not a lot of straight humans ingame tho, so.)

If you look at the man's history, youth has literally never done him any favors. Being younger has meant being weaker, having less information, and having to rely more on other people -- and often people who shouldn't be in charge of anyone.

To me, that's gonna be someone who has no problem with aging. In fact, he probably likes the way he looks now more than at any other point he has been alive. He's at the point he thinks he has always wanted to be.

To quote a friend: "Enver Gortash has exactly one midlife crisis and its name is Orin."

With the way Gortash talks about Durge's Urges (lol) It feels like to me that the characterisation of Durge pre-tadpole being this wholly rabid, acting on impulses constantly, creature rings a little...innacurate.

Gortash is a control freak. This is typical of a Baneite of course (and being raised by Raphael) Having complete control is really important in Gortash's eyes as it's not only his means of garnering power but keeping himself safe. It's also something he clearly respects in Durge. Their ability to control their urges.

Compared to Orin, pre-tadpoled Durge seems to have their shit together. Even the way Durge seems to talk, feels a lot more...straightforward than Orin's language. She speaks like a bloody Malkavian (and I love it) whereas Durge in their codexes and dialogue, speak less in metaphors, less like a child too, even if they still do bear that eccentric tone.

I think this can also be related to the way Durge and Orin were raised. Orin was sired by an abusive, incestuous relationship wherein she was then abused. A delayed...adulthood is quite common in those scenarios. Meanwhile, Durge HAD parents. Adoptive parents of course that they killed if my memory of canon is right. So they had a much more stable upbringing relatively. Accounting for Durge's maturity.

And Gortash has to bind Orin's blade when she takes over as Bhaal's Chosen. Gortash doesn't ever see Orin as an equal, and compares her to a literal dog, because she is so impulsive whereas with Durge. It seems he never saw a need to bind them. They were equals and the levl of control they had over their urges impressed him.

I actually think Durge's inability to properly control themselves after the tadpole is Bhaal punishing them for letting Orin get the drop on them. For falling from glory. Sceleritas comes along to guide Durge to prove themselves to Bhaal..it just feels like a punishment.

Anyway, maybe this is all obvious idk. And I'm not telling anyone how they should write their Dark Urges. Or even say that I think Durge NEVER had an impulse or two go unregulated (something Sceleritas also says) because Bhaalspawn ARE violent. Just that pre-tadpoled Durge probably was far more in control than we give credit for. It also makes their cruelty during their time as leader of the Bhaalists extra evil because...they chose to. It's wasn't compulsed by Bhaal all the time

[oc] be born again

And even then, Father won't be proud.

i am once again thinking about gortash seeing himself as a widower after durge goes missing someone pull me out of this idea quicksand

Hemlock is all of us durgetash shippers

Let them kiss babygurl pleasee

Gort studies! I find him really difficult to draw in a more semi-realistic style, so I guess I gotta practice