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character who doesn’t know they’re in a timeloop: you’re back early
character who knows they’re in a timeloop, at the same time as the other character: you’re back early. yeah. i know. today’s haunted
character who doesn’t know they’re in a timeloop: what?
character who knows they’re in a timeloop: *loads gun* today’s haunted
So we all know Doomguy is a total fucking badass.
But how badass?
Well…
· Sent to Phobos, one of Mars’ moons, as punishment for assaulting CO who ordered to fire on civilians.
· Demons invade Mars cause UAC fucked with Hell energy science
· Kills all the demons on Phobos
· Teleports to Deimos, one of Mars’ other moons
· Kills all the demons on Deimos
· Kills Hell’s mightiest warrior, the Cyberdemon
· Goes to Hell
· Kills all the demons in Hell
· Kills the Spider Mastermind, the demon who planned the entire invasion
· “Proven too tough for Hell to contain” and is promptly ejected from Hell
· Ejected onto Earth where demons have invaded
· Humans plan to leave Earth but the only ground spaceport gets overrun and demons place a barrier over the spaceport preventing humans from leaving
· Kills all the demons and deactivates the force field
· Saves humankind
· Receives a transmission telling him where the armies of Hell are coming from
· Goes and kills all the demons there
· Does not see a solution on Earth so goes back to Hell
· Kills all the demons in Hell
· Kills Satan
· Goes to Jupiter’s moon, Io, where the UAC restart dimensional gateway experiments (because it went so well last time)
· Io is overrun by demons
· Kills all the demons on Io
· Kills Satan again
· UAC is taken under new management (because all the old trustees and stockholders are dead) and start developing tools to prevent more invasions (good luck with that)
· UAC start making a Quantum Accelerator which closes invasion Gates
· The research draws the attention of demons and they invade
· The Quantum Accelerator actually works and the demons are locked out so the UAC’s research continues more boldly (wow good job guys!)
· The very next day, 7 invasion Gates open
· The Quantum Accelerators close 6 of them but there are too many demons (so close!)
· The last Gate remains open and is guarded by a powerful, enormous, ancient Gatekeeper demon
· Doomguy is on leave at the beach and is closest to the facility so he gets to the UAC first
· Realises the other Marines will arrive too late
· Decides to kill all the demons himself plus the Gatekeeper
· Returns to Earth
· The government find out that there are still dregs of demons on Phobos and Deimos, so they drop a fuckton of radiation on the moons.
· A creature survives the exposure and it has the ability to resurrect demons
· The creature revived all the demons, making them EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE
· A Marine strike force is deployed and guess who’s the only survivor?
· Kills all the demons on Phobos and Deimos again
We’re up to Doom 3 by the way.
· A few years later and the UAC Mars base has been refurbished. Doomguy is tasked with finding a missing scientist.
· Finds the scientist who is trying to warn the UAC Earth base about the teleportation experiments of Malcolm Betruger, the guy in charge of UAC Mars Division
· Tries to tell the Marine but one of the tests loses containment and a shockwave transforms everyone into zombies
· Demons invade through the teleporter
· Tasked with getting a distress signal communication card thingy
· Kills demons with a Marine squad
· Squad is ambushed at the EnPro Plant
· Recovers communication card but communication equipment gets heavily damaged.
· Here the player has a choice to send the signal via back up communications array (and obey orders) or not (so Earth is not endangered)
· Sent to the Delta Labs where Betruger is shown to be working directly with Hell to invade Earth
· If the player does not send the signal, Betruger does it anyway, hoping it will bring reinforcement ships so demons can be sent to Earth
· Betruger then tries to kill the Doomguy using toxic gases (BECAUSE APPARENTLY ALL THE STORIES ABOUT THIS FUCKING DEMON MURDER MACHINE SIMPLY KINDA JUST PHASED OUT OF COMMON KNOWLEDGE)
· Betruger fails
· Doomguy learns more about the teleportation experiments and how they were expeditions into Hell to bring back specimens as well as an archaeological dig of an ancient civilisation
· The dig turned up the Soul Cube. What the fuck is a Soul Cube? Well friend, it is a weapon to defend against the forces of Hell. Nice
· Betruger took the Soul Cube and put it in Hell. Fuck
· Goes back to Hell
· Kills all the demons in Hell
· Kills the Guardian of the Soul Cube
· Retrieves the Soul Cube
· Goes back to Delta Labs
· Discovers that though the main teleporter is destroyed, Hell is opening a Hellmouth to allow millions of demons onto Mars
· Then finds out that his Sergeant Thomas Kelly was also working for Hell and has been transformed by the demons (remember, he is technically still in service as a Marine, despite going off alone all the time)
· Learns the location of the Hellmouth
· Finds Kelly
· Kelly taunts Doomguy in a demonic voice (HE FUCKING WORKS FOR YOU! HE IS FUCKING PART OF YOUR FUCKING UNIT! HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU NOT FUCKING HEARD THE FUCKING STORIES ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK THIS MAN CAN FUCKING DO???!!!!)
· Kills Kelly
· Takes the BFG-9000
· Goes back to where the Soul Cube was found
· Kills another Cyberdemon (with help from the Soul Cube)
· Seals the Hellmouth
· Reinforcements get to Mars (real great timing guys)
· Betruger is shown to be reincarnated in Hell as a dragon-like demon
· UAC detects a signal from Mars and sends a team to investigate
· The team finds an Artifact, Hell is alerted and a new invasion begins
· A new character, McNeil tasks the Doomguy with stopping the invasion by returning the Artifact to Hell
· Kills three Hell Hunters (demons who are trying to find the Artifact) and absorbs their powers into it
· Goes back to Hell. HE GOES BACK TO HELL. THAT IS 4 TIMES NOW
· Kills all the demons
· Gets to Betruger (now known as the demon Maledict)
· Kills him
· Goes back to Mars
And now we come to DOOM 2016
· Doomguy has since performed a hostile takeover of Hell and has taken up permanent residence to make sure no more invasions happen. He was tricked and had a temple dropped on him, after which he was encased in a cursed sarcophagus. The UAC are attempting to draw energy from Hell to combat the energy crisis on Earth (SERIOUSLY???!!!). One of their scientists, Olivia Pierce, has made a pact with Hell and opened a portal. Current UAC director Samuel Hayden opens the sarcophagus, releasing the Doomguy.
· Retrieves Praetor Suit – a suit made for him BY DEMONS IN HELL when his old suit was destroyed.
· Kills all the demons in the first section of the UAC
· Goes to Hell
· Kills all the demons in Kadingir Sanctum
· Goes back to Mars
· Kills all the demons
· Goes back to Hell
· Kills all the demons in Titan’s Realm
· Kills all the demons in The Necropolis
· Recovers a magical blade called The Crucible
· Goes back to Mars
· Kills the rest of the demons in the UAC at VEGA Central Processing
· Goes to the Argent D’Nur
· Kills the demons there
· Destroys the Hell portal’s power source
· Kills Pierce, who transforms into the Spider Mastermind
· Returns to Mars
· Hayden confiscates The Crucible as Earth is too desperate for energy to give up
· Acknowledges he cannot kill Doomguy cause unlike Kelly and Betruger, Hayden actually has a brain and teleports him to an undisclosed location saying they will meet again.
· Uhhhhh DOOM 5 happens I guess.
All in all, here are the stats:
Demonic invasions stopped – 14
Trips to Hell taken – 6
Attempts on his life by non-demons – 2
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WHO
DARES
NAME A BIGGER BADASS
Two of my favorite ST characters.
It began on a Tuesday. Later, she would tell people that this made sense. Nothing bad happens on Tuesdays. He knew better, but he was far too polite to contradict her.
The offering had changed. Usually it was the standard bowl of cream, which he ignored. He wasn’t a cat. There was one outside almost every door. Not hers.
He knew what it was long before he found her door. Floating above the heavy, yellowing smell of dairy, twisting through the shimmering scent of the Fair Folk – leaf-mould, rainwater, Sambuca and not enough sunlight – was the tang of blood. Meat.
His ears twitched. His maw began to slaver. He was hungry, so hungry. There were no offerings for him. He took what he could get at The Hunt, but it was never enough.
He followed his nose. There, outside a door that smelled greenish-blue and soft. It sat raw and wet in a little dish, piled up like rubies.
One of Them was crouching over it.
They didn’t eat meat. It was poking at it with one long, long, long finger, disgust twisting all four of its mouths. It hissed, clicked, and all the quills on its spine bristled with fury. Not the cream it was used to.
He growled.
It turned. Shifted so it was blocking the meat, just out of spite. It wasn’t going to eat the meat, but it certainly wouldn’t let him eat it, either. It shifted its smell – something the Fair Folk always did when they wanted to give him a headache – and waited for him to leave.
He snapped at it. It shrieked, flapping backwards, and scythed out a claw. He lunged forward and bit, jaws tight around its arm. There was a crack and it came away in his mouth. He shook it around, just to show the thing who was boss, and it ran shrieking down the corridor.
He spat out the arm by the greenish-blue door. He wasn’t going to eat that. The bones felt like bark and tasted like mouldering leaves, and there was fresh meat waiting for him.
He settled down to his dinner and licked the bowl clean.
There was more meat the next day. The arm was gone, though. Ripples and dents spattered the floor from where the thing had bled, but the corridor was empty. Good. Sometimes the Fair Folk needed reminding of what he could really do. Too many of them saw him as another of their shiny, knife-like hounds. He was another thing entirely.
He’d left scorch marks on the floor too. The RAs wouldn’t like that. One of them had tried to chase him off with a broom when he’d been at his weakest and the whole experience had been very undignified.
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So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather?
What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving.
I would love to see someone write about aliens learning about video games like halo that involve us fighting aliens if anyone is willing to write about it in this fandom
The photo of chief does not really look like a dudes leg
It looks more like a girls I know it isn’t much but could it be a new female Spartan it could also be Cortana in spartan armor not Likely but any thing could happen. The face that the also don’t show the number of that spartan but show chief at the end number and all makes me think that it could just be a female lead protagonist spartan.
Any thoughts or criticism welcome
The photo of chief does not really look like a dudes leg
It looks more like a girls I know it isn’t much but could it be a new female Spartan it could also be Cortana in spartan armor not Likely but any thing could happen. The face that the also don’t show the number of that spartan but show chief at the end number and all makes me think that it could just be a female lead protagonist spartan.
Any thoughts or criticism welcome
You didn’t reblog a text post chain three years ago. Strange things start happening.
Locke: I suppose it's useless to tell you to leave.
John-117: I wouldn't miss this for anything.
Locke: You're funeral.
John-117: Already had one.
Hi
We willing put our kids in spot where they can get hurt and consider it a lesson to the kids when they get hurt. We have spinning platforms. Ramps. Swings all of these are very dangerous and can harm kids. I think that Aline’s would be super protective of their kids imagine them seeing all the pain kids go through and how often they get hurt.
We willing put our kids in spot where they can get hurt and consider it a lesson to the kids when they get hurt. We have spinning platforms. Ramps. Swings all of these are very dangerous and can harm kids. I think that Aline’s would be super protective of their kids imagine them seeing all the pain kids go through and how often they get hurt.