The Bus Driver Was Rude, So I Made Sure To Not Say "thank You" As I Stepped Off. I Am The Master Of Revenge.

This ant and I are the same level of smooth.

Always unsure. [Via @nathanwpyle]

"How would you feel about some popcorn?" "My feelings for popcorn are eternal."

If you ignore your child's mental illness, you have zero right to complain about how they act.

Stop it.

The answer to your white guilt is not to lament about there “not being any Indians left” to show people you’re a caring white person. We were harmed, but we are still here, and erasing us only harms us further.

you can’t masturbate away the depression but that won’t stop me from trying

My parents did that with me, and I turned out fi- oh. Oh yeah.

In a relationship or two? Feel each other's bits for cancer. Celebrate a clean exam with more feeling of each other's bits.

Anyone who makes pot candies but doesn't market them as "lollipots" is wasting an opportunity.

Revenge Utopia

Where diurnals have to keep the noise level down during the day so nocturnals can get some friggin sleep.

Where the housed have a sunset curfew to keep the houseless safe.

Where various public servants are treated "like servants."

Where it's widely considered weird and gross to force someone to eat in a bathroom - including infants.

Where being attracted to someone regardless of their genitals is the default you see depicted, and not liking someone because of their genitalia is something you're fine with, you just don't want it influencing the children.

Where the common myth is that gay or het exists only as a phase before they grow out of liking one gender.

Where Duck Dynasty was cancelled after one season, and Firefly was renewed for ten.

Where the phrase "but they're your family" emphasizes how fucked up something is, not how much more "forgivable."

BEES ARE UNICORNS!