Latest Posts by spectrespeaks - Page 4

i listened to my body and it's asking for substances

manifesting a calm antisocial bf who only cares about me

when you wanna be mutuals with someone who's mutuals with your other mutuals so you interact with their blog daily hoping they'll get the sign but they don't interact with your blog ever so now you think they hate you and they want you dead because you're a nuisance to them/hj

Nothing makes me feel more valid than anonymous strangers on the Internet validating my feelings.

one must imagine sisyphus grinding his penis on the rock, moaning wantonly

um sorry for moaning when you stabbed me. it's been a really long time since anyone touched me like that

i love like, pseudosex

erotic vampire bites, magic ritual that feels Very Good to participants, multi-person fusion, mind-meld, sexy mitosis, consensual mindfuck, love-hivemind, being tfed into something or other, that sort of stuff

its hot

good boy but in the way you praise a hunting dog after you have it gore something

Quite frankly, I'd rather be unconscious

I don't know a single disabled person who hasn't been traumatized in at least one way by the medical system. Moreover, how are we supposed to heal from our medical trauma when it is continuously reinforced? I act differently in medical spaces because of my medical PTSD to the point I used to have selective mutism in those spaces (it's much better now). But I was treated horribly because of the selective mutism and trauma responses, making my PTSD worse. How can doctors be okay with re-traumatizing someone who already has severe medical PTSD? How can doctors be okay with not being educated on medical PTSD or gaslighting? How can they be okay with ultimately making our lives, care, and trauma worse??? The lack of understanding around medical trauma is unacceptable, especially because of how incredibly prevalent it is.

i go from "i didn't deserve the things that happened to me" to "there is no suffering that I do not deserve" in like 3 seconds

the framing of "we can tell early humans had compassion because we've found skeletons of disabled people who made it to old age" kind of boils my piss a little bit because it kind of fundamentally assumes that compassion is the only possible reason to live in community with disabled people. and idk about you but I don't like the direction that logic tends to lead people

if the cage is open why am i still trapped.

imo the popular response i've seen to rfk's comments on autistic people have been genuinely unnerving. people are not saying "people's lives should not be weighed by what they contribute to society" and instead are talking about how high-functioning they are and how many forms of labor they can perform. extremely scary that this is how we're framing it, to be blunt.

i wish i was high

i wish i weren’t here

i need to be more high

or be less here

sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal

(so mad i can’t see straight) Yeah i just don’t think chat gpt is a good classroom tool

Just saw a wheelchair user get kicked off the bus to make room for a mom’s double-wide stroller that had a baby in it and a 7-8 year old who was plenty old enough to walk. Then the kid proceeded to scream and shriek and cry at max volume the entire rest of my ride.

I am filled with hate. I fucking hate abled people. I’m so sick of abled people. The world would be a better place if abled people were told to get the fuck over themselves and wait their turn more.

10 days sober off klonopin and sh and all i wanna fucking do is relapse !! is it even fucking worth it to keep this up !! all i fuckin want is someone to talk to and be actual friends with but i guess that's impossible !!

Bro stop sucking dick and join my industrial synth pop band

keeping myself from cutting everyone off just because deep down I still have hope that some of them actually care and eventually will notice my absence.

not that anyone would fucking care if i blocked them lol

i try to be cute online but in reality i’m just a stupid ugly bitch

I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I csnttakrotanymirs I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I snt take it anymore I can’t take it snymore (I say as I proceed to take it)

Tell you what, being constantly misunderstood your whoooole life really makes it hard not to just be the awful, angry person they already assume you are.

i wish you wanted, craved and needed me the way i need you.

i wish you could also feel your organs writhe when we're not talking,

when we're not together,

when we don't exist in the same space and at the same time.