I’d Be The Voice That Urged Orpheus. The Dreadful Need In The Devotee. A Sweet Release.

☀️

DickTim Week Day 4: Body Swap | Dick having a revelation

@dicktimweek

Warnings for usual curse-words, reckless driving, and nothing else I hope

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you know those fics where S2 Jayce meets S1 Viktor and falls to his knees and cries, yeah, i'm normal about them

so do you think wwx would still do the core transplant if he knew why jc lost his core? i think he might

Oh yeah. Actually it might depend on what scenario we're talking about here? Is this an AU where JC mumbles out the truth when feverish or something, or is this a time travel situation? Regardless, the following remain true:

Wei Wuxian loves Jiang Cheng very much and JC being sad in his vicinity is basically intolerable to him

Wei Wuxian considers himself to owe a debt to the Jiang

Wei Wuxian loves Lotus Pier and wants it restored and Jiang Cheng is the best chance they have

Wei Wuxian has rock bottom self worth and sky high self esteem, which means he does not consider himself of value while also simultaneously thinking he knows best and has the right to make decisions for other people

Obviously in canon or in a time travel AU where he didn't find out, he's ripping his organs out. If he does know, it kind of depends on timing. Teen WWX who heard JC's mumbled confession is drowning in guilt and self hatred and does it immediately. In some ways this improves the state of their relationship, because WWX now knows that Jiang Cheng considers him more important than his own life or even the sect. He's extremely upset by this, because "Your brother loves you" is the most devastating blow for either of them, but he is not questioning whether JC sees him as family in the same way as in canon. Wei Wuxian had to really tell himself over and over to consider the transfer as repayment or redemption to be alright with it, but this WWX is possibly trying to invent skin grafts to get rid of JC's scars. This is not a positive, but it does change things. However this also means that if JC ever finds out, not only will WWX have tricked him into a procedure he wouldn't have wanted, he purposefully and knowingly overrode his choice. This creates tension in relationships.

If it's time travelling WWX, if he has just found out and/or they haven't fully reconciled, he's having the same breakdown JC had in the Ancestral Hall and once again rips out his organs, possibly while whispering "Thank you and I'm sorry" because character development is not linear and WWX gets a little unhinged about his family. However if they've worked through things and communicated and hashed out where things went wrong and what they want their relationship to look like now and how they're going to achieve this, I think they can develop healthier habits. Wei Wuxian's postcanon advice to Jin Ling is to let himself rely on Jiang Cheng because being pushed away for his own good will just make him feel abandoned, and to respect JC's decision to risk his reputation to help and trust him to handle himself. As wildly hypocritical as this sounds, I think WWX has pretty clearly done some thinking about where he fucked up on that one. If WWX is able to come to this conclusion on his own without having worked through things with Jiang Cheng, I think he is capable of admitting that the core transfer while done out of love was maybe a touch fucked up. I do believe in these clowns being able to talk about the way they hurt each other and were hurt in turn and the misunderstandings between them. Wei Wuxian's character arc hasn't stopped at the end of the story, there's a reason WWX has that moment after Wen Qing and Wen Ning sacrifice themselves for him where he suddenly understands why Jiang Cheng hates when he does this. I think we can even out the self worth/self esteem ratio so WWX isn't constantly sacrificing himself because he knows best, and trusting JC specifically to make his own choices.

...Or at least that was what I was triumphantly going to say, until I saw a relevant gifset and contemplated Wei Wuxian suddenly being faced with a devastated Babie Jiang Cheng for the first time in decades. Jiang Cheng crying is already kind of a one hit KO for Wei Wuxian when they're the same age, can he really look at Babie JC's lip wobble without folding like a cheap lawn chair? I have long thought about them growing past their old mistakes and was confident that WWX could get there but now I am reconsidering this.

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

I keep thinking if WWX had come back and JC had managed to have a kid or two, WWX would be feral about them. He’d be torn between complete adoration because they’re baby JC’s! Look their doing the little pout he did when he was a kid and WWX bullied him! And complete and utter rage at their existence. How dare someone make babies with JC without his approval, what if they’d muddied up his cuteness with their unworthy genes. No one should have even touched JC without WWX’s supervision. I think it’s extra fun when they’re WQ’s kids as well, if only for the killer frowns their kids would have and the confused disgust WWX would feel.

XD glorious!

But on a serious note, I think that he'd be overjoyed to know that JC found himself a wife and has a family that makes him happy. It would sting a bit that the same was denied to him, but WWX would be happy for his shidi and adore his kids.

...unless (and here on a less serious note) it's an omegaverse and JC is the omega in question and that's when WWX will go feral about some strange rude unworthy alpha having their way with his shidi???!! JC was such a finnicky and particular omega, there's no alpha in the world suitable to deal with his quirks and to protect him properly! There was one alpha to do that's but he died, but now he's back and even if Wei Wuxian wasn't in love-love with his shidi, he was prepared to be his alpha (platonically, of course, and for the purest of intentions of course;) and now...

Someone took his place.

They have to go.

There’s something sooooo fhgsjdhcb about Jason’s blood sustaining Tim. The most intimate (he’s literally in his veins) instinctive (he’s providing, sharing, giving himself) trusting (trust to give, trust to take) way to take care of Tim. Hot!

Skdkfjsks YOU GET IT, YOU GET ME OTL

godddd that's exactly it. I'm clasping you by the shoulders anon, YOU GET IT. It's about providing, it's about being so deep in you that I am literally what makes your heart beat. It's about absolute trust and devotion - feed on me and only me, I can take it (I have supernatural regeneration powers baby, this is a win-win)

And low-key? The act of providing for you is what saves me. When I am reduced to nothing but my pain and animal rage, your teeth in my neck reminds me that not all pain is bad. My blood in your veins tethers me to who I am. I am more than this

(this is the theme that sustained me through writing the rest of this fic:

my claws tear your skin, but it’s my blood that splashes on the ground. i cut you but it’s me who bleeds

It's the concept of two as one; let me crawl inside of you and make a home in your bones OwO)

It makes Jason bark bark woof woof awooga crazy and it also makes ME bark bark woof woof awooga crazy amdfnsmsnsksj

Tim: *walks into Jason’s room* I can’t sleep

Jason: not my problem, replacement

Tim: *lays down on top of Jason*

Jason: *pulls him close and hugs him tightly* go away

Tim: *kisses his chest* I’m leaving

Jason: okay good

Both of them in less than a minute: *asleep*

height differences

Hehe, I am thinking that JC got tangled in some shenanigans that keep following Wei Wuxian, and in effect got sent to some other dimension where everything is the same but isn't.

And now WWX has to go and retrieve him - and for that ends up going through quite a few realities in a "Where isy my shidi?" adventure that places him face to face with a variety of Jiang Chengs and his own feelings of shame, guilt, love and anger towards his shidi.

He sees a Jiang Cheng who have lost their core and a one that didn't, ones that reclaimed his sect and one that was enslaved by Wen Zhuliu as some sick standin for his mom. One that saved Yanli and sacrificed his sect and one that never forgave Wei Wuxian (ohz so that's how his actual hate feels) and one that got over WWX's death and forgot (and that's how indifference feels, Wei Wuxian hates it!). There is a reality where JC didn't get a replacement core and Wei Wuxian was the Jiang Sect Leader who kept him under lock and key (and that Jiang Cheng was miserable, but didn't want to run away, as long as his Wei Wuxian loved him still...).

There is one where Jiang Cheng is married to Lan Xichen and they have kids??? (Wei Wuxian hates it! Hates it! Hates it!!! ....just can't explain why... His shidi would never...right? And what does it mean Jiang Cheng gave birth to the kids?? Oh gods, he never wants to have Lan Xichen sit him down for a sex talk ever again>_<!!! The alpha/omega sex sure is something!) That world unsettled him the most. How is it that Jiang Cheng is happily married here? How is it that Lan Xichen chose him to marry??? Doesn't he mind the awful personality and constant anger? His shidi is very pretty and great, and strong, but he is just like his mom and... Lan Xichen almost slaps him in the head in that universe. Which is scary, because Lan Xichen never gets angry to Wei Wuxian's memory. And on account of a joke? Wei Wuxian doesn't get it.

"If you stopped looking at him and trying to see his mother instead of the boy you grew up with." The big alpha tells him. "Then you'd understand."

And uh, yeah, that one kinda....stung a bit. Maybe that reality wasn't that bad - for Jiang chengttonhave someone who cared for him and understood him. For his shidi to have family again, one that loved him as he should be loved even if it didn't include Wei Wuxian. Even if his shidi had to birth babies and take that monstrous Lan pillar...(he hated it, hated it, heated it!!!)

It's still better, however, than the one reality Wei Wuxian stepped into that just... Didn't have Jiang Cheng of its own. One where he died at the hands of Wen Chao, where the Sunshot Campaign never even got off the ground, because their Wei Wuxian burned the Wen to the ground and salted the ashes. There's no Lan Sizhui there, no Wen Ning. Wen Quing died under his hands like all the others. There's no Yunmeng Jiang. Just Wei Wuxian full of rage and the world that lives in fear of him. What a miserable existence.

He left that world as fast as he could, sick to his stomach.

On the quest to reclaim his precious shidi.