Every Time Hoid Makes An Appearance In A Book, My Brain Immediately Just Thinks Of This Post

The Kaladin/Szeth chapters of Wind and Truth are so fucking funny.

We've got Kaladin and Syl going to therapy, picking up hobbies while doing their best impression of a dead spouse montage

And then on the next perspective over we've got Szeth playing the world's most terrifying game of Mega Man

yOu HaVe tO rEaD tHe cOsMeRe BoOkS iN tHe RiGhT oRdEr Or YoU wOn'T kNoW wHaT's GoiNg On!

Gancho, Doug, my brother in Adonalsium (Highly), I'm going to hold your hand when I say this:

Not knowing what's going on is the default state for Cosmere protagonists.

Even Wit, who's whole deal is standing over there in the corner smirking like he knows what's going on, doesn't have a single rusting clue.

Read the whole Stormlight Archive backwards for all I care, you'll still find yourself better informed than Kaladin Stormface

OH FUCK OFF GOLD BURNING MISTINGS SEE AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF THEMSELVES. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. AU. AU IS THE ELEMENT SHORTHAND THING FOR GOLD. FUCK YOU BRANDON. FUCK.

Wind and Truth theory fact. Gavinor did not grow to hate Dalinar for the atrocities he had committed, but rather as a natural consequence of having to watch your grand-uncle tell your dad that he's banging your grandmother 10000 times back-to-back.

Dalinar: "I can accept my son being gay. I can accept my son being a certified monsterfucker, but democracy is where I draw the line!!!"

maybe it’s good dalinar didn’t live to see his son turn Urithiru into a representative government

adolin getting a longer hug from kaladin than shallan is one of the most throwaway comments brando sando could have made, and he did, for no reason, unrelevant to the story, just for us. my heart is warm.

I am manifesting with all my soul that Kaladin gets something cool to do in the (presumed?) 10 years before the Heralds need to return for the Odium showdown again. Therapy is great and all, but after 2-3 years I think most of Kaladin's work will be done and it will be up to the Heralds themselves to put into practice what they had learned/discovered.

I need Kaladin to be conveniently summoned/manifested offworld and save a planet from inevitable doom. I need a Kaladin training arc with Taln and Nale from which he will emerge an absolute menace to the larger Cosmere.

I need it so that when he finally gets his dramatic return in the second arc of Stormlight he will single-handedly turn the tide of the war.

I am Kaladin fanboy trash and I am not ashamed to admit it.

*clenches fist* kaladin would want me to keep going

Kaladin

Fun fact: Shallan lost the ability to transform into Veil not because she incorporated her after accepting her traumatic past, but rather because the second she rejected Kaladin Stormface the Charming Flying Man, Veil decided she could no longer work in such a hostile work environment and handed in her two weeks notice.