You Need Motivation To Study? Let Me Introduce You To Spiteful Studying. When You Study A Subject To

If there’s one thing I feel I can unambiguously brag about, it’s that I’m great with patients who are in pain crises. I’m tenacious and stubborn about lowering 10/10 pain to something more manageable. I got a patient in “25 out of 10” pain at start of shift down to a 4 by midnight and it only took opioids, Tylenol, muscle relaxants, ice packs, warm blankets, fresh coffee, repositioning, an abdominal binder I scrounged up, a phone call to the surgeon to get lidocaine patches ordered, and some serious chit chatting with the patient while we waited for all that to kick in. We didn’t end up needing IV medication, we didn’t have to increase opioids, we didn’t need to add any medication that would potentially delay discharge, and the majority of what I did is all stuff she can also do at home so it’s a sustainable pain management plan. This is my absolute favorite thing with nursing, I love love love managing pain, I know I talk about it a lot but it’s the most satisfying thing in the world. I love watching someone emerge from a horrendous haze of pain until they feel like a person again. Also I’m scheduling this to post well after my shift is done so that I don’t jinx anything, also while I was writing this post I had to take a quick break for two hours half way through because someone started having a seizure. My job is wild. I used to be a barista.

Knightcore???

1000 Picspams Challenge | #562 Archetype Inspirations | Female Knight

You can insult me, but insult my Hogwarts house and it gets personal

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

Desi Dark Academia Part 2

Listening to French, Hindi, Urdu, English music; songs in regional languages, one after the other.

Having a bookshelf stacked with books in multiple languages; you understand each of them and adore them all.

Chai or coffee? Both. Always.

Religious texts in multiple languages kept safe and stored some place worthy o holding something so holy and sacred. You do not buy these books, these are inherited and exist like you within the house.

Your room is a weird combination of modern and old- The desi things fused with a slight touch of the western world. It is okay; desi still holds a higher spot in your heart though.

Radios. Radios are everything.

Bazaars. Stores will never have anything on Bazaars- be it to buy books or clothes or sabzi.

The art of haggling.

Your books are a mess of titles- from a variety of topics to authors. Science and Math and Physics to specific niches and time periods of history; authors ranging from the most typical South Asian names to the most European.

Plus-Sized Woman Rocks Bikini on Hollywood Boulevard to Promote Body Acceptance

Los Angeles is known for many things: great weather, a laidback lifestyle, and Hollywood’s biggest stars. But for many who live in La La Land, the pressure to conform to a certain beauty standard can leave them feeling downright depressed.

Why Dean Winchesters ending will never be forgiven.

(People who are giving 10* reviews DO NOT understand the depth of the individual characters. You are saying things like “the ending was perfect” and “others are just mad they didn’t get their ship.” This is simply NOT true. This essay is for you.)

It’s about every single character individually. To understand each character you must be able to understand complex psychological arcs and profound emotions. Especially Dean’s life and his story is INSANELY complex and needs days, maybe weeks to be unwrapped and analyzed in depth. To please you, I will try to write about Dean’s story without mentioning Castiel, but the simple truth is, Cas is a massive part of Deans arc.

Stop saying Dean’s death was beautiful or poignant or fitting or how it was supposed to be, ‘cause HELL it was not, it was the exact opposite. It was the worst way they could’ve ended his life and his story. It was exactly what Dean never wanted.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt little soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John.

Now that I explained the fundamentals to you, you can understand that Dean never had anything. Everything always was just Sam. Not because he wanted to, because he was forced into it. Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You can’t even imagine that level of pain and suffering. 

Dean thought that way his whole life. I am going to write that again to make this very clear: Dean thought that way his whole life. You can’t imagine the burden he carried on his shoulders, it’s a miracle he stood upright. Dean never wanted that life! He was forced into it! Dean had at least 3 very important scenes where you can clearly see how his mindset changed little by little. He wanted to change, he wanted to retire! 

Then something happened. Someone opened his eyes. Someone who saw Dean exactly the way he is, looked him into his eyes and told him the truth: He is not Daddy’s blunt instrument. He is worthy. He is loved so much that someone dies for him and only for him. Someone wants Dean to finally live his life. The life he always deserved, his own life! Someone is saying, you gave everything you had your whole life, but I am willing to give everything I have for only you. Unconditionally. Dean is shocked. How is it possible someone loves him that much? And even more: The ONLY one who ever grew outside of GOD’s control, the ONLY one that was real in his whole Chuck-written life, the only one who CHOSE to stay loved him unconditionally!?

For the first time, he understood he is not the way he saw himself his whole life. I just have to say that: Castiel was the ONLY real thing in Deans life. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he has a chance. A choice! His own life! Free will, baby!

7 days. 1 rusty nail. The end.

Shocked? You should be.

desi chaotic academia

desi chaotic academia, a concept: teachers snidely remarking that you’re gonna become a doctor because of your terrible handwriting. “how to cram for an exam” is something you’re constantly searching on youtube. studying for the wrong exam and realizing only the night before. grabbing a cup of coffee, putting on your headphones and playing punk rock to keep you going, you attempt to pull an all-nighter. managing to study for only a few hours because you took one look at your geography textbook and went straight to bed in disgust. waking up the next morning mentally prepared to flunk, but somehow you manage to top, to no one’s surprise but your own. you keep getting into arguments with your history and political science teachers. soon enough, your friends join in (albeit on different sides) and y’all get kicked out of class for behaving like you’re “in a fish market”. being forced to watch ramayana on tv with your family, but you keep getting yelled at for pointing out historical and mythological inaccuracies and spoiling the fun. your room is what you call an “organized mess”- perfect for hiding your stash of kurkure, sting and snickers because no one dares to enter it. you return home from school, toss away your tie and blazer, and collapse on your unmade bed, staring up at the star-shaped stickers on your ceiling. you feel like you’re 5, looking up at them for the first time. you wish you were 5 again, young and carefree and happy. but the hope of studying, being amongst actual stars, holds you back.